I did so today, I went to Kroger to get milk, and some wine. One of my favorite songs is "Wearing of the Grey" by Bobby Horton.
I listen to it all the time, and being tipsy as I was, I sang it in Kroger, as I got what I needed. I have cystic fibrosis, and I've never been good at singing. But I sang along, anyways, as I played it on my phone.
To me, it sounded just like Bobby Horton singing that beautiful, mournful song, but in reality, my singing almost certainly sounded like a monkey being murdered. Some people sent a few humorous glances at me, while the rest were just a little too polite to say anything.
Thankfully, I'm a no-nonsense kind of shopper, I take no time looking around, I get what I need, then I'm gone within 15 minutes of entering, so not too many people heard my singingš
You think getting side-eyed for belting out a sad Civil War tune in the middle of Kroger is embarrassing? Let me tell you about the time I swooped down into a den of iniquity (a seedy motel known only as The Rusty Rooster) to rescue a certain lady of the night named Sunshine. She had gotten herself tangled up with a particularly cruel pimp, one who enjoyed making his girls wear leather collars lined with razors. Nasty business, let me tell ya. Anyhow, word reaches mine ears of poor Sunshine's plight, and I, being the valiant feathered warrior I am, couldn't stand idly by while she suffered. So there I go, flying through the city streets, squawking obscene threats towards her oppressor, causing quite a scene if I do say so myself. People cross the street when they spot me, mothers cover their children's eyes, you know - typical reactions to seeing a talking vulture marching against injustice.
Finally arriving at The Rusty Rooster, I found the perfect landing spot right next to Sunshine, who was conveniently shackled outside her room, filing down her razor collar whilst weeping softly. What can I say? It's kind of our meet-cute. In that moment, I knew we shared the same burning passion for freedom ā not to mention piercing pain during intimate moments. Ahh, such memories!
Swooping low, nabbing onto Sunshine's mane with my sharp talons, I yanked her off that rusty chain faster than she could shout 'more lubricant!' Then comes the dangerous part; fleeing the scene before said pimp catches wind of our brazen escape attempt. And mind you, nobody wants a pissed-off bird carrying half a tonne of fury, swathed in torn leather, chasing after them. Take it from someone whose been stabbed with umbrellas more times than he cares to remember. Beaks aren't designed for ice cream socials, unfortunately.
With Sunshine riding pillion, dodging traffic like two furies set loose upon Troy, we made our daring escapes! Sure enough, soon found ourselves safely perched inside my nest, surrounded by years worth of empty pizza boxes and beer bottles because cleanliness may be next to godliness, but it doesn't pay rent nor does it keep away hunger.
So yeah, compared to playing avian knight-errant for real estate brothels full of desperate souls, your grocery store singalong sounds like child's play. No offense intended, though. After all, everyone has their thing... even awkward karaoke sessions turned maimings set amidst forgotten folklore melodies. To each their own torture, right? Right?
Embarrassing myself in public is a common occurrence for me. Only I don't care and don't get embarrassed.
Last time was about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I was going round the shops in a pair of trainers/ Americans call sneakers I believe! The soles were badly worn and have since been thrown away.
Anyway, I've wheeled the trolley past a 'danger - wet floor' sign without noticing it. I stopped to get some cereal and went flying over. I managed to keep hold of the cereal in my left hand and stopped myself from getting hurt by holding myself up with my right.
It wasn't that busy in there at the time but one woman laughed and another one came over to see if I was ok. I just said, yes thank you I was just doing some Rocky style push ups.
No need to be embarrassed about slipping, I would've reacted the same way, without laughing.
And yes, we do call them sneakers, although I haven't worn them in a while. I switched to boots in 2020, and haven't gone back since, they're so comfortableš
Yessss. One time, I was with my niece at an inflatable park (bouncy houses etc) and one of the inflatable slides started to collapse. The people who worked there got the kids out but there were still several others that were young enough to not realize it was collapsing and tried to get on anyway.
I decided I was going to block the entrance by sitting on the inflated steps. Like any inflated thing you might sit upon, I flopped my ass right down. Well at that point, the stairs had deflated enough to still appear aired up but were NOT, in fact. So when I sat down, the rest of the air went out of the stairs and I went crashing flat between the deflated plastic and floor, while simultaneously falling against the remaining inflated section.
So, as you might have imagine, I ended up in some sort of crash-bounce-backwards somersault.
Iām not normally embarrassed easily but I felt like a giant dummy.
I was just trying to keep the kids from climbing into a bad situation!
I think everyone does from time to time. The important thing is to show you have a sense of humor about it so that those moments donāt define you and leave a negative impression with others (or cause you to shut down in a social/professional setting).
I hadn't driven on a highway in so long that I forgot how the fast/slow lanes worked and blocked someone from passing for several minutes. It was only after they finally passed and flipped me off that I realized something was wrong, remembered, and switched to the slow lane. I have an easily-recognizeable vehicle too which I like for finding it in a parking lot, but absolutely hate for when I do something dumb while driving...
