In what ways is competition a bad thing?

[msc545]

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+1 y

I have been a competition swimmer and sailor since age 8. Winning is nice, but losing is horrible as it evokes shame, sadness, and feelings of humiliation in me.

In many ways it feels like a fight and I hate fighting.

[NathanDavis]

it can be bad and it can go wrong in many ways...

more than anything, it can bring the worse of us, if not the worst sometimes

as I had commented for your other, previous question... I lived it both ways and got it from both ends... I grew up sports since very young (six years old) and it did help me in some many ways, me being a painfully shy kid and having social anxieties as well, getting into team sports was my way to come out and find myself among others, and it helped me a great deal, completely changed my life, however

we're not all good and it's not all good... it also brought out the not so good sides of me, even young me... among those things, was a certain "need for everything to be right and done right" I was very VERY demanding with myself, and I would fixate on so many things, which I felt (my brain made me feel that way) that I had to do my best, and then I started to see this on others too, and it would become very frustrating to me, to see that other kids (kids, lmfao... these were just games for kids, not even competition yet or not always) would not try their best as much as me, and as much as they could

so yes... I was a little nut that started to NOT be fun to play with, because I was often upset, and acting up, instead of having fun... I was only 9 years old though but still, not a nice thing to see at all, my own friends were keeping distance from me on the field

but that was just on the field... and it was a temporary thing as well, I worked a whole lot on that too, and changed it completely (I became an (assistant) sports coach and a great one too) for the good and the better, but yeah... had I continued this path of BAD COMPETITIVE spirit... I would have ended up alone and damaging a lot of things and a lot of people too, and it would probably have spread to other other aspects of my life, like... school, the workplace, relationships and what not...

I do assume that many people today that are just awful with competition... started this way, lucky for me though... I was able to recognize it and stop it (others did help me with it too, of course)

[thisAppIsGarbage]

When cooperation is available

[IslaTheWitch]

if in a toxic environment... when weaker people (weaker by not knowing enough or physically, depending on what the competition is about) are shamed or even bullied, when there are punishments for not winning...

many things can go wrong...

[provokeesmokee]

Falsely makes a lot of people think all of life is a zero sum game.

It isn't. Success is not a finite resource.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

If it's taken to extreme, it can be bad.

[lightbulb27]

It can tap into the deeper self… of ‘worth’…. Position. Lets be honest where you are st on life… are you really succeeding in your greatest self? Neither am i.


It does challenge and sharpen… in nature.. gotta compete. Lowers cost, improves wualityy, enables others to gain power and wealth by hard work. Thats why prople want to come here vs their socialist societies.

[msc545]

No, people come here because of their narcissistic belief that they are special and they can therefore succeed and become rich. When they get here, they often find out that success requires a lot of criminal behavior that they are unwilling to engage in. People also come here because of the mistaken belief that hard work will lead to success. They soon find out that they can work their asses off and wind up with nothing at all.

[lightbulb27]

total baloney, or at least, now what I've seen multiple times. you live on the other coast, maybe there's a different reality. Certainly not the same for all.
You're view of the world does not match mine. That said, I know some people fall into the pits of doom in usa...

[msc545]

Most people who come to the US do not succeed as we might define it, yet they keep coming perhaps because where they come from is even worse. I don't know this for sure. That does not change what I said previously. It just adds another cause.

[lightbulb27]

That may be true, I'm not sure % success. I've seen so many success cases. The underlying trait is more about family, good fortunes. Without parents, it is really hard. I've seen people on the streets in Europe as well... it's the parents that fall into the ditch and then the kids beg on the street for change. Some people need a lot of support because of the emotional problems.
I've seen people succeed even when they have emotional problems, are poor, and they drink. But they had family and values.
You seriously need to travel and talk to some other people cause I think your view seems limited... and maybe... thus... hopeless... rather tha hopeful.

[msc545]

I have traveled a lot more than you have guaranteed. Living in the US is like living in a Casino except you bet your life and happiness here.

[lightbulb27]

I'd be surprised, but not sure coverage is the thing. It may be the environments you are in due to your work. You see the failure cases, I'm seeing the success ones... more so. Heck, so much of NYC is success. Filled with immigrants from the prior 100 years... so many millionaires due to real estate prices, small businesses. Many came with nothing.
I of course see those struggling, but so much success. The new immigrants... sell stuff on the street, don't know how they cut it. Be good to get to know a few, but I don't speak the language.
I've been all over West Europe multiple times, roughly 1/2 of USA. Soon, will cover some of asia.

[msc545]

The failure cases do not have enough money to see me, no insurance, and nobody will pay for their care. I see marginal and rich people. I've been all over the world, and never have I seen anywhere where life is as much of a gamble as the US is, except maybe Mexico.

[lightbulb27]

Europe looks very questionable to me. Talk to @Unit1, seems very constricting. The french people I know either came here or want to come here... socialism is great til you find out how big the trap is.
The success cases as examples... Iranian... multi millionaire! Multiple chinese... millionaires, so many portugeze/Brazilian... doing well, Italians... rich.
Those people have to go to churches for charity and it's probably better for them anyways, they need social support, not white lab coat. They are broken and need family... often.
Peru looks limiting... seen that, large poor population. venezuela may be on the upswing, but not good for a while. Africa... not sure, no knowledge.
Oh yea... Met over 7 albanians and several Ukranians... knocking it out of the park... running businesses. If can work, have support, all good. I even saw newer "south americans" with new truck and trailer hauling mower... making $. No idea how they got funds for that.
I see lots of success. The people standing on street corners with cups are often existing Americans.. white or black. The others are selling something.
That's NY East coast as I see it...

[msc545]

What you mostly see in the Los Angeles area is immigrants standing on the street corners because there are not jobs for them or they are too disabled to work and can't get any sort of public benefits because there aren't any.

[lightbulb27]

Direct border to mexico amd fsrm workers. Ee used to have migrants get picked up for day work. haven't seen that post covid. Im just not around those people, but there are poor areas and low end jobs. But even those picking recycling cans seem to do ok… i see lots of non English speakers working and smiling. I suspect its mostly about family and hope.

[msc545]

I think you were referring to something that used to be called the bracero program in California. As far as I know it will no longer exists, although I have no idea why since it seemed to be a pretty good idea. Maybe that's why. Good idea. To go to hell quickly here. I think they smile because they do and not because they are paid very much at all. Most California growers rely on The fact that they can pay illegal immigrants illegal wages and they aren't illegally high. They are illegally low.

[lightbulb27]

yes we all live off the enslavement of many others including asia... the currencys control that. That is changing and usa is declining. I'm all for paying people for the hard work. If you travel then you've seen the chinese taking up root... everywhere... running businesses. Americans not as much. We are in decline from our height coming out of WWII. my opinion. Some people feel it and live it. Still... people come here and succeed. I'm sure some don't. NYC... bunch of immigrant kids going to school... loads of them... some traumatized messes, others smart as heck. Parents and good fortunes. The ones without parents and separation suffer terribly without good intervention.

[lightbulb27]

in your work... are you able to figure out what the core issues are in their lives driving the behaviors. Then how effective is the treatment.
or is it all... they take drugs to medicate and the solution is some other drug to alter their reality?

[JacobJordan]

There is nothing bad with competition though the way some people approach it can be bad. That has more to do with ego and an inflated sense of self importance. Competition is healthy when approached properly

[exitseven]

Competition can be bad if taken to the extreme.

[JonCobretti]

Duel to death