50% of mum and 50% of dad
If you are talking about child support
No, I wish I was. It's more about the cost of actually getting to see your children after divorce. You see in the US, men are almost always relogated to weekend visitors. And for a father to see his kids more often it cost tens of thousands of dollars.
Oh my goodness that’s so bad I didn’t know it was that bad I’m so sorry 😞
As much as is necessary
I would say that is wrong. A woman pays nothing to be a parent to her children, why should a man have to pay?
And no, this is not women's fault, this is the fault of title iv-d, and the money the government makes off of father's not being allowed to be father's.
I agree, there are hundreds of studies that have been done that show the a 50/50 split is actually better for the children.
Agreed
@Juxtapose and @worldscolide, you two trying to get me riled up on behalf of all struggling moms? Please don't the hulk is like a pussycat compared to me when you start in on women's contributions to their children's lives. We have no fucking choice than to give it our all. Dad's fucking walk away. I've lived it. So please stick to what you know with that. Thank you.
@DishLady what reasons are there to have children but to either spread influence in some way? Passing on your legacy is a bid to influence the future in most cases.
I am not a deadbeat so I take no responsibility for them. I was mostly raised by my loving mother and I know mothers are amazing. Perhaps I should have phrased my statement to sound less cynical.
@DishLady my mom chose drugs, prostitution, and both physical and sexual abuse of me, over being a mother to me.
Mother's do indeed struggle. But so do father's. I found my best friend with a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head, because his ex wife not only left him, falsely accused him of things he would never do, took his home from him, a home he inherited from his grandfather. And he was forced to pay double his income in support. All accusations were found to be false, but the courts still refused to grant him any form of visitation.
Additionally please tell that to the man where I'm from, a man who was raped by his baby sitter at the age of 11, a man who is forced to pay child support to his rapist, a man who will never be permitted to be a father to that child.
What I'm saying here does not diminish mothers, what I'm saying here is that family courts overwhelmingly favor the mother, even when she is abusive, even when she lies, even when she is a drug addict.
So before you attack me for what I say I FUCKING LIVED IT TOO.
And I know for a fact that you're a good mom. But you're attitudes about single moms are such that you see them as people who can do no wrong, when that is definitely not the case.
@worldscolide No comment. I've seen too many guys abandon their kids then suddenly bully their way back into the woman's and children's lives when it was suddenly profitable for the guy. I've personally lost my entire savings combating the abusive guy I married, so... respectfully... I won't be shedding any tears for any guy anytime soon. A person -- guy or girl -- wants to fight for their kids, go for it. But don't claim one gender pays and the other doesn't.
@Juxtapose Thanks. Bad parents (guys OR gals) really just burn my biscuits. Kids deserve the best. Period. Parents need to figure themselves out before having kids -- and those who are bullheadedly going to press on as single parents need to be adults in terms of having inclusive parenting... And COURT SYSTEMS should be more supportive and consistent about assigning custody, child support, all of it.
Wanna know? They don't even CHECK where the kids will stay on a visitation weekend -- some dump is just fine -- but they'll come check the woman's home a million times to make sure the kids are in a stable home... Go check the roach motels the dads take their kids... There should be a freaking CSI type report generated to reveal the crimes against humanity that children have to live through in some cases. Hmm.
Never said they did. But the fact that you're so callus about my own experiences says a lot. The fact that you see men that way, as some monolithic evil, says a lot. It just makes me sad. I could have been like you after what my mom did to me, but I choose not to. Instead I founded my state's branch of TFRM. and I deeply love and care for my wife, and would never, ever leave my family for any reason. Most men are like me. Not like the boogie men you make them out to be.
Not attacking all women. At no point did I attack women. I just strongly dislike the bad ones. I've been around several. Most women I know aren't like that. My wife, her mom, my sisters in law. None of them are like that.
@Juxtapose, agreed. I'm a product of the foster care system. I'd have been better off on my own.
There was this one place I was forced to stay, where if I didn't participate in church three times a day, I'd be beaten until I was bloody and bruised, drugged, and thrown into isolation for weeks at a time, where I didn't have access to regular meals, or a bathroom. Regular food meaning once per day I was given a mustard and cheese sandwich.
The foster care and states custody system is evil.
@Juxtapose it was a long hard road filled with therapy. It's part of why I hate organized religion.
Opinion
11Opinion
You have the house bills, the clothing, the food, etc. as a working man. So all of that along with vacations, toys, repairs, batteries, so on and so on.
If your child has issues, medications & therapy & others rank up money also hospital bills if they are physically hurt.
Not quite what this question was about
But you're right.
@worldscolide OHHH after divorce happens.
I don't know in that case lol
My problem with divorce is the government getting involved in family matters. They benefit from splitting custody unevenly. And fathers most of the time, are left with the short end of the stick. And it's not even the money, imagine being relogated to an every other weekend visitor in your child's life, and having to prove to the court and the mother whom you had a child with, that you're worthy to be a father.
It's why I support 50/50 shared parenting from the start and working from there. Unfortunately the state governments benefit financially from not doing that as they make 50 cents on every dollar collected in support. Which makes family court rarely do what's best for the children, and instead doing what's best for the pockets of the judge and lawyers.
Okay
I personally would not take the guy to court for child support. I’d just ask that he bring groceries, toys and school supplies for his kids. The groceries can be biweekly. The toys can be for birthdays and holidays. The school supplies can be at the start of each school year/semester. I know too many women who use child support money for their own stuff rather than for the kids. My dad stopped paying my mom child support long before he was supposed to but she was nice enough not to take him to court because she had my grandparents help.
Actually most men don’t know how to grocery shop so I’d accompany him with the kids to the store lmao
Being a parent should not be a burden so ideally, nothing. However I do believe you are coming from a particular agenda so ill have to include that neither men nor women have a right to their children if they put them in danger, be it through violence or bad influence. This is not something that would be resolved by simply paying more in child support.
Only the amount shown on receipts for kids real needs.
For example not a monthly amount that mom buys her shoes with it.
First she pays. At the month, she brings receipts then the ones that are necessities he pays back.
Same as an employer paying to replace transportation cost.
The same as the mother has to pay to be a mother.
Which is zero.
Men should never be greedy when it comes to their own child. You have to remember men cannot offer much besides what they provide so they should be giving all or whatever possible to invest in their childern
You should pay everything and be willing to pay everything when you have a child you bring a kid into this world you make that kid the best kid possible you make him grow up with morals values and ethics and the money goes for food clothes shelter it takes whatever it takes there's no set limit on it
Missed the point..
No I got the point but there's a deeper point. When you have a child you make that child the best you can make that child so whatever amount of money it takes to do that that's what you have to do it has nothing to do with divorce it has nothing to do with you giving her money is all about that child
You actually missed it. It has nothing to do with child support. Men by and large are the only gender that has to prove they are a good parent often spending tens of thousands just to be a parent when divorce happens. It's something that should not have to happen, not when women are automatically assumed to be good parents.
I went through it a divorce like that he hated me so much because I walked out she told me that she was going to take everything even though I gave her everything I gave her the house I mean the vehicles I gave her everything except for my vehicle and my dirt bike she got the boat another dirt bike another car her car the horses that she wanted more money... I owed her $1,200 child support all the sudden I had to go to court on this it went from 1200 to $7,000 in a matter of 3 weeks. She had put me in jail three times . Two times I had proof that I was not even around in the same city when she said I did something. I gave her tens of thousands of dollars. Put in a Roth account that it could be built on every month so he could have money when he turned. .. anyway she could hurt me she would do it she would try to do it. The last straw for me was when she tried to say I didn't pay any child support thank God I had receipts but I didn't have all the receipts because I was in jail for something she said I did and I did not do after I spent 3 months in jail her best friend came to me and said she was so sorry because she was there the day that I walked out on her and she could have solved the whole thing because she knows that I did not do what she said I did but that day in court I wrote her a check for $25,000 I asked if Dallas to hold up the Bible and I swear to God on the holy Bible I would never pay her another dime because district attorney and the judge were helping her rob me and I told that to the judge and I said if I cannot have a continuance that's what you guys are doing so I will give her this $25,000 and this will be all the money I ever give to her and the rest of her life and I swear to God on the holy Bible well after that day I never paid another time
I went through a living hell.. for 12 years. . Then the day came she called me up and she said I'm getting married and I said great because I knew that was the day that I will never after it after even think about her anymore because she will leave me alone.
She asked me if I wanted to talk to him and I said no she asked him if he wanted to talk to me he said no she said you guys are going to have to talk someday and all the sudden I hear his voice... Introduced himself as Mike I said congratulations. I said to be honest with you I'm so fucking happy if I was gay I would give you a blowjob right now that's how fucking happy I am and we both started laughing she wanted to know what we were laughing about but that was the last time I talked to him LOL but that girl put me through so much hell. The one good part is that my son kept asking you what happened and I told him I would not tell him until he was 18..
I said if you want to know you go to your grandparents or you go to your mom's brothers and sisters they will tell you the truth and he did and they did and he hated her for a long time..
And then I had to tell him it was between her and I you have to stay out of it stop treating your mom like crap... Because I had to teach him to respect his mother anyway I didn't want to but I had to do that because I want him to be a good kid but anyway I know exactly what you're saying. One of these days. The divorce system will be fixed. The same with men there are a lot of women that get screwed too
Enough for the kid to grow up in a safe environment.
Not quiet so simple. Who's supposed to be gaining money for this?
Why should my father have to pay anything to be my father. He raised me, he never divorced my mother.
I did not pay anything. It was my responsibility.
It's not a simple question by a long shot. What do you mean "pay to be a parent"?
Read the update
A father is financially responsible for his children. Married or not.
Not what the question means. You're either obtuse, or intentionally not getting the meaning behind my question. Try again
So then be clearer in your question. It’s impossible to put a $ amount on it.
It's not about dollar amounts specifically. Let me "explain like you're 5" to you.
When divorce happens, both lawyers and family courts are incentivized to make things as expensive as possible for both. They are incentivized to drag the process out and set the highest possible penalties. Often times it means father's are left with minimal visitation, and forced to pay up to 80% of his income to spousal support and child support while being religated to someone who sees his children once or twice per month.
See Title IV-D of the social security code. The states earn 50 cents on the dollar for every dollar of support collected. That is their incentive, and why most states don't start from 50/50 custody.. This in most cases forces fathers to spend tens of thousands of dollars on more court and lawyers so that he can see his children more often. Additionally courts rarely enforce visitation, and rarely hold the custodial parent accountable for breaking court orders. While at the same time sending father's who can't pay to prison.
In my opinion courts need to stay the fuck out of family stuff and title IV-D needs to be abolished.
There did I explain it for you? Are we good now? Or do I need to explain it further?
5% is pretty standard here
3$. you're talking about buying an orphan right?
You can also add your opinion below!
Holidays 
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions