You decide the fate of the step kid and how to be a reasonable spouse in this situation?

[lightbulb27]

You make an explicit rule per the law... teen step daughter with temporary drivers license can only drive car you own/insure when another adult is in the car. It's the law in this state.

The rule is communicated and understood, but is violated. You give notice this is not allowed... don't do that again ever! Ok!

The rule is violated again a month later, under permission of your spouse whom gave permission. There was no emergency, just a desire to drive, and the teen driver asks (forgets or doesn't care) as well decides it's ok to violate the rule (oops)... and drives by themselves. "It's only a short distance" would be the justification. "It's not a big deal".

...

Probability of being caught by police or accident is small... driver has lots of experience and cautious. However, they are hormonally off (PMSing... and historically, judgement is off at this time) and there is a dangerous intersection involved in the well known, 1 mile drive home.

Severity of punishment resulting from an accident is substantial. You face cost or jail...

A) Insurance will fight coverage in case of accident... since the teen was violating the law, they can wiggle out of paying in court... cost shifts to the owner of the car (you) and parent... if teen was at fault.

B) If teen is at fault in an accident and death/multi party occurred, the responsibility shifts to owner of the car (you) and parent. Owner of car (you) could face prison time. I'm not a lawyer, it's my understanding of the law... and it's a liberal state.

What should a good, responsible spouse do in this case?

How do you handle your spouse that disobeyed the rule... putting you at risk you don't want?

How do you handle your step child?

I'm free to drive my step dads car.. because my mom said so! And no, I don't have my license yet.

Welcome to being an adult, and real life...

Restate the rule again, hope they obey... until they get their full drivers license in few months, no longer a problem then

Revoke driving permission of your car! Take the keys!

Teen driver is required to buy their own car and insurance rather than putting the Owner at risk

Other

[petitedollbabee]

If it’s my car, then I would revoke permission for them to drive it, whether an adult is present in the car or not. I would not leave my keys within their sight again. If it’s my spouses car, then thats their problem, as they are the one who gave permission for their child to drive it without an adult present, and therefore if there’s an accident or mishap while their child is driving their car, then thats their responsibility to deal with it without involving me.


If my car is the only vehicle in the family, then the same thing applies - that child would not be driving my car themselves again, even after they get their proper license. They can save up with a job and buy their own car.

[lightbulb27]

Thank you for the well thought out answer. It makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Give your neighbors cameras and detail the poor driving. File for damages. Kid loses license.

[lightbulb27]

it's my own step kid, not neighbor

[Opinion Owner]

Talk with your partner. Communication.

[lightbulb27]

agree! that was solution!

[DrPepper12]

Discuss betrayal n undermining with the spouse. Can't blame a teenager for being manipulative or taking advantage - it's what they do!

[lightbulb27]

Good call!

[DJB72]

Take the keys. Simple. And doesn't matter if it's my kid or not.

[Anonymous]

Let her father pay for the car.

[lightbulb27]

Bingo!

[exitseven]

They cannot drive for a specified length of time.