Are incels, incels because they were bullied? Or bullied because they were incels?

[Anonymous]

Updates

1 y

Asking about involuntarily celibates as a whole, not the Incel movement, if you don't know the difference, don't comment re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (0, 0, 0), justifyLeft

[Effably]

Ah. What came first, the chicken or the egg. Funnily enough there is an answer to that. The correct answer is the egg. At some point something we would not identify as a chicken gave birth to something we would identify as a chicken.

So bullied. Or misunderstood or whatever else. Incel by definition is being stuck in an unwanted state of celibacy. Naturally if you were accepted, loved and desired, you would not be an incel anymore. In that sense being an incel is always a product of your environment somehow.

Even if the main influence on that is you. The simple reality is that while there may be some degree of truth to the incel phenomena the way out at an individual level is still to pick up your balls, reattach them, and learn to be someone your dream partner would want to date.

[OneViewpoint]

Bullying had nothing to do with it in most cases. Most incels are men who simply cannot take responsibility for themselves or accountability for their decisions. Running away is their only response to life's challenges. Because running away is easy. It takes almost no effort. They have no self discipline or ambition. Their life hasn't worked out as they thought it would. And they blame everyone but themselves for their problems instead of taking action to improve themselves. They wallow in self pity.

[Asker]

Does this apply to all involuntarily celibate people? Im asking about the literal term incel not the movement

[Asker]

Like if someone is struggling to find sexual partners do you ascribe this judgement on them?

[OneViewpoint]

Yes. Take an honest look in the mirror. Have they done everything they can to make themselves someone another person would find attractive? Fitness, grooming, clothes, education, maturity, manners, income, self sufficiency, interests, hobbies, conversation skills?

I simply can't believe a guy who had all that reasonably covered could not find ANY woman who would find him at a least moderately worth getting to know.

[Asker]

Right so all struggling virgins and lonely people are bad people

[OneViewpoint]

They are people who turn away from obstacles instead of confronting them. And yes that's a bad trait. It doesn't mean they are "bad people". They can choose to change. Or not.

[Asker]

Right but I'm trying to get a clear answer on whether the root cause of each and every instance of someone struggling to find a partner is what you describe therefore based on their lack of sex we can with 100% accuracy determine their whole personality to be what you described.

[OneViewpoint]

You are looking for absolutes. That's a fools errand. People are a little more complex than that. That may not be their whole personality. And those traits will exist to a different extent in different incels. Look this platforms allows internet posts, not 100 page scientific studies with annotated sources and links to data.

You're offended and being defensive. Do you see any of that in yourself? How much of it? Or do you think you've done everything you possibly can to become the best person you can be such that there is no point in even trying further?

[Asker]

Your answer was an absolute judgement on any and all virgins who are interested in having a partner but struggle to find one. That's why I'm asking if you actually mean it or are being purposely obtuse

[Asker]

I'm not even an incel, I'm married. I'm just annoyed at the lack of nuance you're showing with your absolutes and conflations when I'm trying to have a nuanced conversation

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Neither, they’re incels because they want to say women are at fault for everything wrong in their lives rather than take accountability for their own actions.

[Asker]

All virgins struggling to find partners choose to hate women?

[Asker]

My understanding was that there's a difference between incels and the incels movement.

Incels are involuntarily celibate people. The incels movement is the movement you're talking about. I'm asking about incels.

Regardless does the movement consciously make that choice in a vacuum or as a result of societal and environmental conditions?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It’s a direct result of masculine society, yes. However, they still choose to adapt the label and become part of that community

[Asker]

So all people who want sex but struggle to find partners choose to hate and blame women?

[Asker]

Basically anyone who says they're struggling in dating and finding partners, hates and blames women, I want to be clear in what your defining as the Incel movement

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

The involuntary celibate movement places women as the primary cause for their predicament, claiming they have an unfair advantage in society that works against them. This argument, of course, crumbles when you recognize the existence of ugly women who have the same struggles in dating

[Sonorous]

They're just guys who haven't had luck. Most incels aren't true incels. Incels do exist but they're extremely rare. I say this because there are apparently more men than there are women so inceldom is inevitable but rare because the disproportion isn't insanely large.

[Asker]

The people below you are insisting that all incels are true incels, but is your point that incels do not get bullied at all and there's no social component to why many men are becoming incels? It's just simply a numbers game?

[Sonorous]

Yeah no that's not my point at all. Everyone has gotten bullied at some point. Ugly people get bullied more. The truest incels will always be the ugliest men that only a small percentage of women would want. And the just never manage to encounter that small percentage.

More men are "becoming incels" because they're essentially forming conclusions too soon. If we fast forward years down the line when they get older & more desperate & eventually find some girl to be with, we'd find that most didn't fit the name. They just spoke too soon.

[Asker]

Is bullying not a serious issue since it happens to everyone? People who react poorly to it are just bad people?

[Sonorous]

Wtf them are some wild conclusions you're forming there. xD I wouldn't say they're bad people. I don't know what sane person would think that. I'd imagine most would think that the bully is a bad person but ion maybe people have changed since I was a youngin. Before my unc arc. Before the widows peaks became only visible through aerial view.

[Asker]

What was the conclusion? I was asking 2 questions I wanted to clarify.

[Asker]

Wanted you to* you also threw in an emoji, what was the purpose of that?

[Sonorous]

bro no offense but yo iq too low for me rn. I gotta go do something else

[Asker]

It's impossible to tell IQ from a forum exchange. Stop posturing like an asshole. I asked simple concise questions you have pandering off topic answers and pivoted to making fun of me and conflating a disagreement and misunderstanding to low IQ? How MAGA of you

[Asker]

Show me the calculations if you wanna claim that I'm wrong. IQ is determined by a specific test not a post exchange on GaG.

[Sonorous]

bro it's an ability I have calm down. I gtg tho. Gotta get them gainz 💪

[Asker]

I hope you puncture an artery when you inject more roids, meat headed asshole

[Sonorous]

okay I'm back now that I got a pump out of the way I'm ready to continue. So yeah like I was saying you seem like a smart individual & these are some good questions you're asking & you seem to be very knowledgeable about this topic. I definitely think bullying is a serious issues & that incels are commonly ugly & that's why they experience the bullying. I think that many men feel like incels because of how the dating landscape has changed. Women are becoming pickier when they can just open up instagram & see mofos that look like this & are willing to give them attention

[Asker]

Yea you're an Andrew Tate troll idiot

[Sonorous]

look you dumbass shittard fukjuice poopscoop armpitshoot badaboopboop. andrew tate is redpilled. I'm blackpilled. get tit rightttttttt

[Billlewis]

I think both sequences are responsible for this phenomenon. In 9th grade, an attractive young girl whom I was hopelessly lovestruck by began urging several of the more physically imposing male students to bully, slap around and intimidate almost daily. Cheryl clearly became aroused by the ongoing abuse, and strange as it probably sounds, I so wish I could thank her for that today.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

If we're not talking about the Incel movement then I don't see how to answer this question because then incels do not exist, instead there would be a person I don't know anything about, who happens to not have romantic relationships. Which is a situation, not an identity. It is utterly personal then, so I can't know, without talking with him, what brings him to this situation. I can guess, and I will guess but I can't know.

[DrPepper12]

Who cares. It's a non-existent thing. They just have no game, no plan, no confidence, no shit.

[Ladsin2]

Involuntary celibates? I presume they're involuntarily celibate because they either 1) never tried 2) were incapable of wooing a woman 3) are too scare to try.
I'm not entirely sure what bullying has to do with it.

[Dargil]

Some one is incel and bullied because they broadcast it. That makes them either fundamental religion believers or careless or both.

[lightbulb27]

I think that's right, they were bullied rather than built up. sensitive people.

[Joshydavid25]

Neither, they're incels because they don't put themselves out there and attract women for one reason or another..

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

Incels are incels cause were to ugly for intimacy, yes bullying accompanies this, then it turns into a negative feedback loop. Never heard of a cute incel b4

[poppy80]

Because you used the made-up word, "incels shows you have been fooled into thinking there are more than two genders.

[Anonymous]

Maybe some of them were, but probably not all of them.

[Asker]

Re-read the question or give a more specific answer

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, it's possible some of them are incels because of that reason.
Vice versa is also imaginable.