Is being a father worth it?

Question

My dream was to always start a family one day and have a kid.

Life isn’t perfect and doesn’t always go as planned sometimes people have kids with those who aren’t ideal for parent hood but in light of a recent situation it’s been made clear to me that as a man and even more so a black man. You are t treated fairly when it comes too how you are treated as a part society has glorified mother hood while guys get a participation mug if they are lucky at times.

God forbid you end up in a situation where courts have to get involved it’s sad to say but unless you have evidence that is so solid Jesus couldn’t argue then in some cases actually wanting to be in your child’s life can end up doing more harm to you then good because of the tactics some woman will employ.

I remember when I was young a woman tried to do this to my older brother. He was fortunate enough to win and he does get joint custody and visitation rights. But man not even in this case but recent times in general it’s like being a guy makes you a criminal or villain for everything while they get away with anything.

Scary times we live in scary times in reference I was speaking in the recent DDG v Halle Bailey situation.

Kaylani · Accepted Answer

That fear is warranted but you'll never achieve any dream like that in the sole belief that people are out to get you. There are good people out there who seek exactly what you do. Problem is - finding them.

Spend time finding the right lady to start a family with. It's a gamble really, you might be able to improve your odds by encompassing everything you want to attract but it's still a gamble. All the best.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's not worth it. Children are expensive and annoying. If you have a child, you will always stay in the background and you will always work and strive for the well-being of your child. Will you be able to withstand all this hardship?

exitseven · Accepted Answer

Yes, the guys always get the short end of the stick. i know a few guys that make good money that had to move back with their parents of live in their cars. I knew a cop that lived in the attic of the police station and when i worked for a school system there was a teacher that lived in the basement in an unused classroom.

Ariesman81 · Accepted Answer

Fatherhood is rewarding and gives purpose.
Just do everything you can to vet the woman you plan to have children with properly. Ask detailed questions about her views on family duties and responsibilities. Trust your instincts.

Anonymous · Answer

So long as the marriage system is designed to set marriages up to fail through the combination of no fault divorce and the tender years doctrine, being a father is not worth it. Unless you find a woman who you know will never stab you in the back like that.

The question we should be asking is: why should men put up with this? I think most men understand that marriages are designed to be the ultimate commitment (through sickness and health, through wealth and poverty) which is why most advocates of no-fault-divorce are women.

The most common explanation I get from women when I ask why they support it, they typically say that no one should be forced into a relationship if there is no happiness in it. That is all well and good but when you apply that to something like marriage, it completely defeats the entire point (again through sickness and health, through wealth and poverty). The whole point of marriage is to be together and only separate when the contract is broken through things like cheating or abuse. We have dating to test to ensure that a man and a woman have the chemistry to withstand a lifetime of hardship together.

When you make divorce as easy as ever, it lessens the importance of dating. People now jump into marriage only to find out afterwards that the chemistry isn't there and oftentimes leave one spouse (often the ex-husband) paying for it for the rest of his life, especially for within the next 18 years if they had kids.

If you are a man, this should sound like a scam. Why would anyone sign a contract if the contract holder can violate their end of it but punish you as if you were the one who violated it while they avoid all responsibility?

If the outright removal of no-fault is too big of an ask, then I propose that if no fault is given, alimony and child support will not apply, everyone will get what they came into the marriage with and what they paid with their own funds. I think this will make marriages go up overnight, as it removes all incentive to initiate divorce over petty conflicts, which would apply under no-fault.

Kelley1 · Answer

That is not relevant because men are stupid. Regardless of the overwhelming evidence that men always lose in divorces, men never learn, and they never will learn to avoid the risk of marriage and having children. To learn requires looking at the evidence and considering the future.

Thinking about the future with a woman is not in men's DNA. They see a pretty girl and think, I want to marry her so that I can fuck her. That is all 99% of their brain can think about. Perhaps 1% of their brain considers the possibilities of the bad things that will happen 5 to 7 years, but that 1% is overwhelmed by the 99% that doesn't care.

Men will continue to be divorced raped. Because, men accept their fate and refuse to fight against it. Therefore, getting divorced raped is what men deserve.

BCRanger10 · Answer

I think it is. It has been one of the most challenging, but joyful adventures I could have imagined. Sure, there are legal issues that a lot of fathers deal with, but I was fortunate enough to find a woman who has the same values and vision for life that I do.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

My opinion is admittedly EXTREMELY biased, but to me, not at all, lol. I don't like kids. Never have. Even when I was a kid myself I already hated other kids. Plus I'm extremely unstable with a lot of mental disorders. Leaving a child in the hands of an extremely mentally ill person is not the best idea. Plus the possibility of passing my disorders onto my children. Wouldn't be fair to them either.

molonski2 · Answer

I have 2 kids , but these days it's just too risky , you can be destroyed by someone you just had too much faith in , I'd be extremely cautious.

AviatorTom · Answer

The most rewarding thing a person can do is being a parent. I'm so proud of my 3 adult children.

Anonymous · Answer

fathers don't do much around the house, that is why most divorces are initiated by women. If women were happy being married, they wouldn't be divorcing

MrChinaski · Answer

I don't know what 'worth it' means. My experience is that having a child costs at least 500,000 dollars. You can make your own decision on whether that is 'worth it'.

goaded · Answer

Yes. But understand it's a commitment forever.

Skyros · Answer

I’m not a dad, but my dad told me once that having me as his son made him a better man. I hope that helps.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, I don't have kids yet, still looking for the right girl.

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