How to live with the guilt that evil things happened because of you?

Question

BCRanger10 · Accepted Answer

What did you do and how does it fit the definition of evil? And what, if anything, have you done to at least try to make things right?

One of the best and most important things that one can do is to seek reconciliation and forgiveness. To hear the words "I forgive you" - NOT "it's okay" (because it's not), "it's all good" (again, because it's not), or whatever, but "I forgive you" - from that person who can offer them ought to at least set you on the path towards peace of heart.

And if for whatever reason you can't attain those things from those involved, either because of death, alienation, or you otherwise can't find and speak with them, then do the only other thing you can do, which is to focus on your relationship with God. You should anyway, but especially in a situation like this. I say this because humans are very prideful creatures. We don't assess ourselves properly. We often think that the things we've done, great or small, good or bad, are bigger and more significant than they really are (or may be). In some cases, we think we are beyond reproach. However, in many cases, we also think that we are beyond redemption. And sometimes, on the natural level, that may very well be (see the beginning of this paragraph); and for the record it truly breaks my heart that there are people out there who feel so desolate, that they cannot be loved, forgiven, or cherished. But regardless, we often tend to either excuse or accuse ourselves based on how we feel. In bringing the occasion of sin though, and the scandal and guilt brought about by it to the minister of God, the priest, in the sacrament of Confession, and to hear him speak the words of absolution - "...through the ministry of the Church, may God grant you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins..." - one can rest assured that their sin is truly forgiven, they are in a state of grace, and peace can in fact return to their heart and soul.

If you're not religious, or even an atheist, I honestly don't know what to tell you. Maybe post a note somewhere or write yourself a letter telling yourself what you did, but that you tried to make it right, face the concrete reality of the situation, take a deep breath, and move forward with your life. But again, what more is there than that but your own authority? I guess what I'm saying is that maybe it might be a good opportunity to explore the possibility of that higher reality, grace, love, and wisdom to the universe and ask the question of where you fit in.

This may or may not fix the feelings of guilt, though confessing such, as well as pride and anxiety is a good thing to do (and has been helpful for me). But it can at least be a move in the right direction, and again, bring some degree of peace and closure. Regardless of what your religious beliefs are, I have open DMs, so if you want to talk more about this, I am available.

May God's peace and love be with you always, my dear. I will pray for you this evening.

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

You accept that you made choices. Maybe they were unpleasant but necessary. Maybe they served some higher purpose. Maybe they were bad and you just didn't care. You can't undo those choices or your actions that resulted. So you move forward. Decide whether you can do that and live with it over and over again or you want to go in a different direction. Then get on with it or wallow in regret and self pity.