Patriarchy. Is it though?

Question

Throughout modern history, society has been demonised as being PATRIARCHAL as in the power lies in the hands of men and it's men who have privileges.

Is it though? Men may have been making the decisions but no one considers the motivations or the consequences.

Men die younger, are more likely to be killed in essential services work, in wars, crime AND are expected to do all the shitty, dirty, dangerous, unpleasant, risky antisocial jobs that provide for society. They've NEVER had options to stay at home and be provided for EXCEPT when they're at the top. This narrative suggests the ONLY men considered REAL/GOOD/WORTHY are the ones who have these privileges when using the term PATRIARCHY.

One can drone on about voting, bodily autonomy (men can't force pregnancy to terminate or go to birth as women control that while men are criminalized if they don't financiallya support the mother's choice when they didn't get a say around abortion) and access to work and education (not all men could access these either and now it's hardly worth it for boys to engage in it as they're doomed to failure) and it's illegal to pay employees differently based on gender. One could look at absence from work rates and engagement in overtime as further evidence of wage gap mythology.

It's also been a feature of so called PATRIARCHY that in case of emergency, a cry of women and children first is thrown out telling men they're unworthy of saving in spite of them being more able to rebuild after catastrophic disasters.

Should the system just be called a wealth based HIERARCHY that is genderless and doesn't throw the gender dying most to keep things functioning, under the bus?

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

It’s important to remember that “patriarch” means father. Fathers protect their women and children, even when they don’t necessarily want to be protected. That’s what patriarchy is. Men protecting women and children from themselves.
The false equivalence between protection and oppression is absurd. It’s no different than perverting the term “toxic masculinity” into a pejorative. Women don’t really want to smash the patriarchy. They still want all of the protections that they have always had, but they want all of the risky freedoms too. That’s just not how the world works. It never has and it never will.
If anyone should want to smash the patriarchy, it should be men. The patriarchy means that we still have responsibilities that women don’t have. They get all of the same rights and privileges with none of the requisite sacrifices that biological men have always had. Most of which fall neatly into the original characterization of “toxic masculinity”. Which was, simply put, men participating in traditional roles of masculinity despite the long term effects being detrimental to their OWN health and longevity. As they do with everything, women made it about themselves. Now it’s much more commonly used as a pejorative for any behavior men do that women don’t like, even when they are the exclusive beneficiaries of such behavior.
To some extent, we are still under a functional patriarchy. It’s probably never going away because nobody really wants it to. Even feminists cry “misogyny” when men fail to protect them from their own lousy choices. It can’t be misogyny when men protect you AND when men don’t protect you. They’re arguing that not receiving special treatment is unfair. Men aren’t protecting other men from their own sh*tty choices. I say we should. Men should focus on being better to themselves and other men for a while. Let the strong, independent, modern women learn some things from the law of the jungle for some time. Maybe we’ll all be better off.

Syntosi · Accepted Answer

Correctly identifying and observing patriarchy in history is just a fact, but I think you are confusing yourself here. Nobody said that this was for the benefit of men or that men would also not become victims of the patriarchy. The patriarchy is "demonized" because its stupid and hurts both men as well as women. Nobody was portraying the elevation of men in society as a "silver lining" of the patriarchy.. I guess except for some modern idiots who wants to bring it back in a misguided attempt at personal benefit maybe?

If you want to get more technical there is a lot of smaller details in a patriarchy that makes it different and distinct form of hierarchy but that is a digression at this point. This all just comes down to the fact that you dont know what you are talking about and you are confusing yourself.

melssvdv · Accepted Answer

It is the mainstream feminist narrative that is trying to demonize patriarchy. The reason why is simple: because patriarchy is a testament that men ARE BETTER than women. Defeating the whole purpose of the false promise called 'equality' and 'feminism'. Why do you think patriarchy came into power in the first place? Well, it all stems to biology: because men are better than women. Men excel over women in pretty much everything. It does not mean women are worthless though, we have our value as well, but men are a bit higher.

Amy_Mi · Accepted Answer

You raise a nuanced perspective, power and risk aren’t always aligned.

Patriarchy often highlights who holds visible authority, but it overlooks invisible burdens expectation, danger, and sacrifice disproportionately placed on men.

Society’s hierarchy isn’t purely about gender, it’s interwoven with wealth, status, and systemic roles.

Calling it a wealth based hierarchy reframes the conversation privileges exist, but so do costs, and recognition should account for both influence and vulnerability.

Spencer10 · Answer

I think you need answers from women to get an answer for that... but I sure see a lot of guys here still fighting for the Patriarchy and in the real world.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

believe me. they wanted the patriarchy to fall so bad that kamala harris almost won. we were screwed either way. those idiots are still going to run her in 2028! how stupid can you be?