Is the patriarchy good or bad?

Question

My boyfriend doesn’t see the issue with it and I’ve always felt it was problematic for both men and women having both sexes forced into societal gender roles and harassed and mocked for daring to walk outside said roles.

But he says it’s the way it is for a reason and for the better functioning of society as men and women are different and have abilities better suited for specific roles compared to the other sex. Ie. Women more maternal so fitting better with caretaking or men being more physically robust hence able to do the more physically demanding jobs of society.

thoughts?

JacobJordan · Accepted Answer

one thing that too many people these days do not understand. The US is not a patriarchal society. secondly your boyfriend is absolutely correct and biology and psychology support it. men are more physical creatures we always have been because since the beginning of humanity our charge has been one of protection. we protect our women we protect our children even at the cost of our life. even our basic biology is towards that end. the flood of testosterone boys get during puberty? it is designed to strengthen our bones and our muscles making it easier for us to defend our loved ones and to build for our future. women biologically have a far stronger emotional bond with children than men do because women grow the baby for 9 months they carry it, feed it, live for it etc. the other thing is this. psychologically we even think differently and to different ends. men are protective of women and children. women are protective of children. men being logical tend to analyze situations and go "oh that is a bad idea" or "that is a good idea" this inclination towards recognizing and acknowledging threats is a huge part of why men despite being attacked more often than women are not seen in the news as often. when men go out late at night we know it is a horrible idea and we know we are liable to be attacked as such we act as if the threat is not only present but imminent. Women rightly or wrongly feel that the world should be safe and that they should be able to do whatever they want whenever they want. please understand I am not disagreeing with the thought process merely explaining it. as such women tend to take more risk as a result of that. this difference is why men tend to be better leaders than women. another way to look at it is like this. everything in life inhabits 2 spheres of influence physical and emotional. men more often than not inhabit the physical sphere and more often than not lack in some aspects of the emotional sphere. women more often than not inhabit the emotional sphere and more often than not lack in some aspects of the physical sphere. it is why we need each other. men fill in that space in the physical side for women. and women fill in the emotional side for men.

in fact according to mythology from Ancient Greece specifically the philosopher Plato. Humans were originally 1 body with 4 arms, 4 legs and 2 faces. masculine and feminine. Zeus fearing the power of this split Humanity creating a masculine form and a feminine form thus forcing all humans to search potentially for there entire life for their other half. When separate the 2 had distinctive differences. the masculine form was more physical, aggressive, stoic, logical, analytical. the feminine form was more emotional, gentle, demure, focused, wise. when paired with their other half these energies blended together resulting in women being slightly more physical, stoic, logical, analytical, aggressive. and men being more emotional, focused, wise, gentle.

I say all this to explain the differences. this does not mean women can't lead. and men can't follow. it is just not as common. in addition to that men are protectors. if you remove men by telling men they need to be more emotional you lose that protector role. you end up with a society full of feminine men and masculine women. neither of whom is capable of filling in for the other psychologically or biologically. At the end of the day what this all boils down to is shitty people are shitty. men should be men. and women should be women.

ended up being way longer than I intended lol hopefully you read it and I hope it helps you understand the 2 a bit better.

mstbooblover · Accepted Answer

There is some truth in what your boyfriend says. Generally speaking, the gender individual humans belong, or feel they belong to, brings some gender related tendencies.

It's still women to get pregnant and give birth to babies for instance, which means the mother will at least take care of the child's first years of life, and will most probably need some form of improved protection, which of course can be provided by any trustworthy person, male or female, but still generally a husband or companion. And there we get back to the traditional family form.

I'm convinced that a matriarchal society may as well function very well, where women take care of other women and children, although to get them children born, a man must somehow intervene...

Something also to be kept in mind, is that humans are naturally born male or female in about the same percentage, meaning both genders must be taken into account in the same proportions. Whatever system a society adopts, extreme rigid rules will never make anyone happy. There are thus maybe some general rules and habits, but there must be given a place to exceptions in choices and tastes.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

Men leading is bad thing. Look at all the wars and bs politics out there. That shit is from men choosing to use their power for evil. And I just ain't for it. I'm a traditional women but I don't think men leading is the right thing for our society. It's not keeping anyone happy or safe.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

Patriarchy is not in and of itself a bad thing. When done right, it's wonderful. I'm happily living in a house where my husband is the leader and has the ultimate responsibility. Patriarchy is only bad when the men involved are immoral and irresponsible.

SixFootSexy · Answer

The modern world has made it safer for women than it's ever been, with more autonomy and choices than women have ever had, shorter homework hours due to technological devices... Yet Iceland, one of the most progressive, feminist nations in the world with a female PM, goes on strike for "gender equality" instead of using her position of power to actually enact change.

It should be a feminist utopia like a Barbie movie, but it's like this:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/43ZbpUQx98M

When you're at the top but there's always something to complain about is sad.

Why are they so miserable? Feminism wasn't the answer?

Also, with an actual wage gap, there's no reason any capitalist businessperson would not hire a woman over a man if they can get a HUGE 20%+ discount on all labor fees. It's asinine. It's the choices they make that lead to lower incomes.

Nik1hil · Answer

Patriarchy is Good.

Men are logical, that means conflicts will exists but they will get resolved and bridges will be built.

Women are emotional, it means less conflicts but conflicts won't get resolved and bridge won't be built..

Men let Grudge go, Women hold Grudge.

If world was Matriarchy, situation would be horrible, with bad mouthing and back stabbing. But there won't be any honorable clash and solving of issues. A situation where all nations would be stuck, frowing and not talking to each other, not making the first move, and suffering in Silence.

Besides ask any strong female leader & worker, they would rather prefer a male Individual on their team. Same with Co-Workers..

I am not saying women cannot lead but, that leadership will lead to No-where!.

Cultures have tried it before and such societies failed, or fell apart or Crumbled and were easily defeated by Invading societies that let me lead..

In fact a Women started an "All women" company, and it failed Badly!..

Anonymous · Answer

There is no patriarchy in places like the US and Australia.

Having said that, your boyfriend is correct about men and women being different and naturally better suited to different roles. Trying to force men into female roles is harmful to men, and trying to force women into male roles is harmful to women. It's detrimental to society as a whole.

Feminsts try to use things like the fact that men are "overrepresented" in leadership positions as "proof" of the patriarchy, but it's that way for a natural reason. It's the natural result of the differences between men and women, not physically but psychologically. Men are wired for it, while women must force themselves into it against their nature. Many recent studies have shown that women tend to succeed in high pressure bussness positions up to a certain age, after which they excuse theselves from high pressure jobs and either drop out of the workforce to have a family or take less demanding, lower pressure jobs, by choice. People in high power leadership roles tend to be older because they have worked their way into those positions over years of hard work and persistence, so it's natural that the people in those positions are moch more likely to be men.

Is that "patricarchy"? Nope, it's human nature. But feminists can't acknowledge that because it undermines their goal of passing laws to force equal female representation in power positions, which is essentially taking those positions away from people who earned them and gifting them to people who haven't.

Is that sexist? If it is, then nature is sexist.

Anonymous · Answer

Patriarchy as feminists describe it never existed.

No one was forced into those roles, it was just how the sexes worked best and how successful it seemed to be up until this point where people are wondering why it was ever that way. I might even go as far as to say that the roles were driven by instinct.

I know, I as a man, always wanted to have a wife to provide and protect for all my life. It was something that came to me long before I had any concept of societal expectations.

>Women more maternal so fitting better with caretaking or men being more physically robust hence able to do the more physically demanding jobs of society.

I think this is better described as women being more subject oriented, being more likely to work with people, and men being more object oriented, more likely to work with things which is why men are more likely to be an engineer, a computer scientist, a mechanic or plumber. There are exceptions, and those exceptions shouldn't be prevented from pursuing those careers, but exceptions do not define the rule.

The Scandinavian countries has been practicing egalitarian measures since the Vikings. Women, when left to their own devices and no outside influence or forces are more likely to go for the people oriented work. The only criticism I have ever seen of it was that these countries have had massive welfare states which was an influence that was never accounted for.

ManOnFire · Answer

"Patriarchy" tends to be a term that militant white-feminists use to describe societies that have been run or dominated by men, which doesn't always have to be a bad thing, but I would not use patriarchy to describe that.

There has to be a balance. Too much male dominance creates cultures where powerful male jocks in institutions, gov, etc. get away with everything and women think their only reason to exist is to get married and be a wife and mother. Too much female dominance creates cultures where men are devalued and women have voices above them, and anyone or anything that does or says something outside of their matrix is hushed or slandered as sexist.

IceCreamSandwich · Answer

It would be one thing if men and women were generally expected to be be one way but also aware that there's exceptions and overlap that doesn't mean bad or failed men and women, just not the average.

That's not what patriarchy is though. It's as you said: forced, harassed, and mocked. If it was really natural, then it wouldn't need to be forced. If a woman has to be forced to act a certain way, that is not her natural feminine role. It's an unnatural, socially invented and enforced role. It's not better—it's actually worse functioning for society when people are forced to fill roles they don't want to and don't fit well.

It's fine to say "most men are this way." It's wrong and harmful to men and women to say "all men should be this way." You're right.

TooHot2Care · Answer

I think a society that allows individuals to be their best selves if they don't fit into the usual mold is a society worth living in.

That said, the normal model should definitely be male lead.

Here's why : You make 100k as a woman , are you REALLY going to bother with a man who makes 50k a year?

Men don't mind dating down in social class for women, because men are attracted to beauty more than they are things and experiences.

Women tend not to date down in social class for men, because looks are nice but its also the tale that goes with it. Where he takes her, what he does for her, how he is, etc.

Anonymous · Answer

What patriarchy? Are you talking about Afghanistan, Iran?

There is no patriarchy in the West. It's a term privileged white western feminists use to try to gain political power while blaming men for every issue and driving a wedge deeper and deeper between the sexes.

Men and women are different, but they have equal rights and opportunities in the West today, and it's up to each individual to make the best of them and find their own happy place. Feminists who perpetuate the "women as victims and men and oppressors" lie are not doing either sex any favors.

AviatorTom · Answer

Your boyfriend is correct in that, biologically speaking, men and women typically have different strengths and weaknesses, and it is often better to taker advantage of that. That does not mean, though, that men should always be in charge, with women demoted to a subservient role.

Guardian45 · Answer

Your boyfriend is full of sh! te!

There is a patriarchy whether you like it or not, but you don't have to accept it. And your boyfriend should support you. Just be prepared for a rocky road ahead on your way to your goals and don't give up what you believe in!

Joshydavid25 · Answer

It's neutral to good.. It's gotten us as a species this far, where men were going out doing the dangerous deeds to protect and provide for their families and women stayed in the communities and built them up and raised strong physically and mentally children.. It was needed in the past because a lot of men where willing to lead into the unknown.. But we're not in a "patriarchy" now..

AydenHazor · Answer

I agree with you that the patriarchy is detrimental to both men and women in very many ways. He probably didn't view it that way because societally and socially it tends to benefit men, and he learned that it was accurate, good and true and refuses to change his mind when he so clearly benefits from it

Holsen · Answer

That’s a serious problem and can be a deal breaker for further development of the relationship as you may not get the attention and respect that you deserve!!

Anonymous · Answer

Look at how lonely and depressed so many people are in modern times. Patriarchy Is needed. Women are destroying society with their lgbt and feminism. The man should run the house and be a leader.

Grond21 · Answer

Clearly you have a definition problem. Your boyfriend thinks it is not something forced on society, but the way we are naturally designed. Whereas you seem to think it is something extranal that is imposed just because men want control or power.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Patriarchy would be bad. It keeps women out of jobs they deserve and keeps men in jobs they don't.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

It’s good if you have a superpower of being a pretty teen girl forever. If not, then it’s only good for few years in your life.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

In my own view, any *-archy is a thing of the past. It served its purpose; but now we see different times - with different options.

Jennz6 · Answer

We need to take care of our children and the men should work to support our family

Anonymous · Answer

The word patriarchy is so misused today. It's always used in a negative context but it's not necessarily a bad thing.

Dargil · Answer

It has succeeded for thousands of years. It will continue to do so.

Pete671 · Answer

Can be either, depends on the participants, but matriarchal societies seem to function more peacefully,

genericname85 · Answer

what patriarchy? are you speaking about some muslim 3rd world country?

msc545 · Answer

There is no such thing as the patriarchy. This is a creation of feminists who are trying to leverage their alleged victimization.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Patriarchy is the way it should be, problem is most men are ish.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Sorry but your boyfriend I'd correct. Just look at how fuck up things are getting the more we step outside of those roles

HouseMoat · Answer

Then explain women in the military Guys like this, make me sick. I'm sorry

TallAnon · Answer

I love the patriarchy meetings every other Sunday, so I think we should stick to it

riverrat3 · Answer

Maybe if we changed to matriarchy, most wars would end

NathanDavis · Answer

we are not in Afghanistan... lol

Jersey2 · Answer

He is absolutely right.

Andres77 · Answer

It doesn’t exist.

BLP11520 · Answer

Good I believe

caramelcake37 · Answer

Good post

Is the patriarchy good or bad?

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Is the patriarchy good or bad?

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