How do you deal with coworkers who always talk about your weight?

[Anonymous]

It's my fifth month at job and everything was going well until this new bunch of coworkers joined. So, since we do teaching and research-oriented work, taking the lead in talking to the new ones is a custom at my department. I saw a new girl last week sitting alone in the corner. I approached her. She soon started talking to me and the next time we met, she said: "you should care about your weight over your work, you're too thin." I didn't pay much attention to it. Next time I met her, she made fun of my accent saying I've a country air peeping deep down (since I'm from the countryside). Then today I was waiting for the elevator with a huge group of people when she and her friend from another department came. They loudly started discussing my body—how I'm skinny and no clothes would look as good on me as they look on them. All the people around stared at me. They further called me a bamboo stick and a cloth hanger and mind it they weren't talking to me, it was a discussion. They're not very beautiful either. And I didn't get time to say anything, I had to immediately go for a work.

I feel extremely down. I can't prove these statements since I don't have recordings and hence can't complain against them. But how do you deal with it?

[lightbulb27]

"The truth will set you free", Jesus the Christ.

Explore in yourself why this hurts... process these emotions. The issue here is "shame"... you are being cast out and it feels bad. Work through the emotions so that you have power and they don't trigger you so much.

Women can be very caddy and hurtful and if they are fat... some people can't see themselves well... like obese or anorexic. All women are sizing up other women to compete, so just accept it.. as well accept you are in a low quality environment.

Then there's talk to them directly from a healthy energy so they stop doing that, that it's hurtful. there's truth to it but you do the best you can. You'll work on you and they can work on themselves.

If it continues, document go to HR. As well, they could be hurting others and maybe it needs to go to Manager regardless... after you get emotional control of this.

Don't ignore your feelings... you don't want to become fearful of work.

"Words are like swords", Jesus the Christ

That above... is true!

[BriamG22]

So from what I can see this is a prime example of workplace bullying. The use of name-calling in order to disparage you is something that can be easily brought up with HR for disciplinary action to be taken.

I don't know why they're acting like a bunch of middle schoolers but it's quite pathetic if you ask me. In terms of proof though, you could simply just secretly record a conversation. Now, you should be careful when doing so as any recording of sensitive information may result in you being reprimanded as well. A secret recording in many cases is not admissible in court. However; as a form of evidence in a complaint filed with HR, it is more than sufficient.

If you don't wish to escalate things in such a manner then perhaps talking to your boss about it first is always an option. He/she would be more knowledgeable with regards to how one should navigate the situation within your company specifically.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Either stand up to them and tell them to mind their own business and/or call them cousin fuckers. Or record them in secret and bring it to HR

[bunnyboo24]

Sue! Go to the manager/principal and say you need their full name cause you are suing

[noohair]

Stand up for yourself, I might say, “I might consider your opinion if you were not such a moron, or I would rather be me as I am than be like you and be a moron.

[exitseven]

Sit on them

[jahaims]

It's weird you care