How do you deal with comments about weight gain/or being overweight from family/friends?

[Anonymous]

Just some background to this, I'm 24 and I have never been "overweight", until now. I always could lose 10-15 pounds but never "fat". I am 5 foot 6, normally around 130, In 2015 i lost 20 pounds the wrong way and got down to 110, everyone other than my immediate family told me I looked amazing, my immediate family was worried I lost to much, and I agree.. it was hard to maintain. Over the course of two years I've put the 20 pounds back on... plus 20 more, just from stress/emotional eating/being too comfortable. My husband is constantly making me aware of my weight gain, saying how he doesn't find me attractive anymore.. even though before, I still wasn't "perfect" to him at the time, yet now.. that I've put weight back on, he says I looked amazing when I was 110-115. Aside from the husband comments, my family and friends also make me very aware of my weight gain, as if I don't notice it myself (I DO!). They don't do this in a nasty way, but it hurts me a lot. They make comments like "wow honey, you have gotten big, are you healthy?"/ "she has put on a lot of weight.. she's gotten fat" these comments come from people I love, and it sucks. I have been trying really hard the last 6 months to get back down to 115, as I now sit at 160, but it's hard and I am losing motivation with so many hurtful comments each day, when people know I AM trying again to lose it once and for all, it makes me want to emotionally eat because my feelings get hurt! Bad cycle lol, my question is... how do you just ignore what everyone says and lose weight for yourself? It's sad how different people treat you when you gain/lose weight, yet I am still the exact same person at 160 vs 115. It's like I turned into an alien that no one wants to be friends with or around :(. Can you give me some advice on how to not focus so much on the comments, and do this for myself? What should I do to ignore weight gain comments made about me? I'm very sensitive to this stuff. Thank you so much in advance.

[TheIceCreamQueen]

Yeah I understand exactly what you mean.. I lost a lot of weight and suddenly my family/friends treated me differently and like I was a princess. Now for the past year or so I have been yoyoing so much and I can tell even my own parents don't treat me like they used to.. Especially my father who basically demotivates me every single day to even be confident in myself. It's a cycle that's hard to break. I think you should take a break from your friends for a while and just lay low while you workout and get back on track. I'm really sorry your husband makes those comments, just know you're worth being respected and loved regardless of your size by the ones close to you.

[Asker]

Me too!!! Same with my family. There not mean about it, but they treat me so differently. Thanks for your comment

[Ephemera1]

That yoyo only moves up and down because of the string that's attached to it, a string that you control. A father, husband, brother, sister, mother, or wife can only remind you. You still wear the string on your finger. Js.

[TheIceCreamQueen]

@Ephemera1 if someone is already down, kicking them won't be helping them. She is clearly trying and the comments would hurt me too.

[Ephemera1]

I wasn't talking about OP.

[Anonymous]

To be honest with you I gained a substantial amount of weight about 20lbs myself in the past yr and a half. I gained it after an injury in my collegiate soccer career and was not able to workout for that yr and a half due to it but I continued to eat the way I did when I was in my prime as an athlete. Long story short I can now workout and it was hinted at by family and friends and little did they know I had already started working out again and losing weight until one

[Opinion Owner]

day I got into an argument with my mom and she flat out called me a "fat load" at 165 lbs and that because of that I am going no where in life. I am 20 years old and studying to be an actuary, I know I'm going places. I took that and knew I need to do it not for anyone else but myself cause I wanted to be a healthier me for me and I just used it as more motivation. If u can't stop it without it making you eat more then just use it as motivation. I am now 125lbs and I am very happy with the way I look. I ran 3 times a week doing interval training and I lifted 5 times a week and did soccer skills and stuff the other 2. I also was not restricting my eating

[Opinion Owner]

per say more or less I was just eating healthy so I stopped going out and ordering junk. I am 5'2" and I guess just no caring what people think except for what I thought did it for me. Everyone says I look amazing now and to be honest with you I could still care less what they think, I did it for me and my future family and I think you should for yourself as well but not to 115-110 just to what ur goal is, take baby steps

[Opinion Owner]

it's not a race when u look at it as a race ur going to be bummed, one step at a time and if ur family can't support that then don't tell them about it and let them just see the results! Good luck I'm in ur corner rooting for ya!!! U got this girl! 👍

[Asker]

Hey thanks so much for the lengthily reply, oh it's so hard! Congrats on your accomplishments, and you are right... i think I am at the point where I just won't tell anyone, and not care what other people have to say... if I'm happy, I'm happy and that's all that matters. Everyone will have an opinion at some point, and I have to try to block it out. Did you find when you got down to 120, did everyone notice or say anything to you? Treat you differently etc?

[Opinion Owner]

Through out the whole thing people were telling me I was looking good because lifting weights helped turn a lot of the fat to muscle and when u lift it burns calories throughout the rest of ur day even when ur not working out so that helps! But people started to notice my muscle tone and they kept saying how good it looked and that I was looking back to my old self and that they were proud of me but none of them really knew but all my true friends and family would just be like "you look good Lyss!" Not necessarily ever insinuating that I ever looked bad. I don't know if that helped lol but I hope it did

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine how painful that is. Esp coming from people who should be supporting you. I don't have any words of advice but I offer my sympathy and support for what it's worth

[Asker]

Thank you xo

[blondfrog]

Yeah I am in the same boat my family keeps telling me I am fat and I know I am. I am not mad at them cause I know they only want the best for me and they are right.

[Asker]

I know, it just sucks to hear it from the people you love... I mean, you are right they only want the best.. just the constant reminders are not needed for my mental state.

[blondfrog]

Yeah I know how you feel.

[Thatguyti]

Fuck em. Don’t lose weight. If eating is what makes you happy than so be it