How is getting hit teaching manners?

[Anonymous]

It's mainly the older generation that seem to praise their parents for doing that and even glorify it. They seem so proud of getting hit. It doesn't address what specific manners, nor reaches you to thank you when someone does a manner now say excuse me when needed.

All I know is simply not doing the indesired act/behavior to avoid getting hit or getting beaten into submission to the point of being brainwashed into thinking it was deserved. Then you develop Stockholm Syndrome or self-blame, which is a type of trauma where you really believe it was for the best and even praise the aggressors

Aggressors because that's what they are. Replace parents with a boss. Imagine if your boss hits you with belts, shoes, sticks. That would be assault and battery right there. So how is causing a physical discomfort and pain (even making the kid cry) teaching manners? It makes no sense.

Updates

7 mo

Whatever respect I (then 7 years old) once had for my mother went down the toilet when she yelled and slapped me a couple times when I couldn't get my homework correct after she was trying to teach. Stupid. How have kids if all you're going to do is hit and yell? Nope, her hitting never taught me manners, much less respect. I don't respect people that hit.

[ToastWithEggs]

I agree that it seems like people whom have been raised in such an environment and with those methods of disciplinary actions tend to glorify physical repercussions as an effective parenting technique. Having said that, I believe that this act of 'glorification' mainly stems from the lack of common courtesy exhibited by the younger population that they have observed personally.

Of course, there are plenty of younger people whom exercise good manners towards the people around them but perhaps, as with anyone else, it is the negative encounters and experiences that have a lasting impact thereby culminating in an overgeneralization that the entire population group lacks standard etiquette. A correlation is then drawn between this prejudicial view with the fact that parenting as a whole has generally become more reward based in recent times.

However, I disagree with the notion that people whom advocate for punishment by way of being hit would also condone hitting a kid with a belt or stick. Those are highly extreme cases and is basically domestic violence/abuse. The advocacy is mainly for the need of punishment when a severe transgression is committed but its mainly limited to things like a smack on the hand if a kid has stolen something as a basic example.

I doubt any person whom suffered whippings or a boot to the face for minor a misbehaviour as a child would ever suggest others to emulate that let alone praise it.

[Asker]

My female cousin actually made her daughter go back to the store and returned the notebook she stole. Then she had to do chores for a while and see the mother's disappointed looks. The girl felt embarrassed and ashamed. That was 6 years ago and she never stole again. Seems much better than smack on the hand.

[ToastWithEggs]

Yeah of course, don't get me wrong I don't believe in physical punishment because I too was raised in such a manner. I am merely pointing out that the ones whom have suffered intense physical abuse as described in your examples are unlikely to support physical punishment as an effective parenting method.

[Asker]

I'm glad to hear you're also willing to break that abusive cycle.

[OneViewpoint]

Getting hit doesn't teach manners. It teaches consequences. Consequences modify behavior. In some cases for the better in some cases in some cases for the worse.

[Asker]

I actually have little to no respect for my mother. I don't know if I might have a difficult or sensitive personality but I just can't and don't respect nor praise someone that hits and yells like a lunatic, someone that has no patience.

[Sal_Monella]

A little impact calibration goes a long way.

[Asker]

It's not a little calibration. It's physical abuse. If you try hitting your friend or spouse with a belt or shoes, you would find yourself with assault and battery charges.