Is it OK to hit on your teacher?

[Anonymous]

Or have a relationship with them If your in college or university, and they're a professor?

[Anonymous]

Ah...this one.

There are many things wrong with it:

1) Many colleges and universities have strict policies against it. He can lose his job.

2) There are ethical problems involved if he is grading you and you are doing sexual things, even if he says they will not affect your grade it is not human nature for them not to and you are at an advantage compared to the other people, he's more likely to favor you if he is getting sexual things from you

3) Some might say he is taking advantage of you because he's your superior (Personally I find it sexy)

4) If he is married, then you should already back off

That being said...I've had a crush or two on a professor, and some of them have definitely flirted with me, and one of the flirty ones was married. We are all human, and men are drawn to young attractive girls so it is definitely very possible that a professor would want his student if he knew she would go for it.

I've heard of professors hooking up with, dating, even eventually marrying their students!

Those lucky girls, I think professors are ridiculously sexy. I fantasize about my professor.

Anyhow, the bottom line is, be careful. If he is married, back away. If you are still in his class, it isn't a good idea either. If you are no longer in his class and he is not married, it really isn't a problem, though the university may have other ideas and if he can lose his job...

Many times I think the girl would have to come onto the teacher, because he probably won't risk it if it puts his job on the line, but if the girl came onto him first he might be more receptive, especially if he's attracted to her.

It's always been my dream to f*** my professor ;)

Good luck

[moloz]

Wow. Thumbs up.

I've recently met my language class prof. from high school. She told me I'm rather cute now, all grown up like a man (exact words). I felt a little weird but not unhappy, hahaha.

[Avacodo]

Interesting story...I didn't start college until I was 23. My first English class, the teacher walked in and honed in on me like a robotic hit man :) ! He was older, gorgeous, smart, and treated me like a queen in class. I did not have sex with him.

I'm a natural flirt, so I just had to be nice, which was easy. He tutored me when I was having trouble, he gave me extra days to get my work done, it was great.

My point is that...there is no point! Just wanted to share. You're grown and so is he. Do what you do!

[Anonymous]

Every school has a policy for students dating faculty members. My school's allows it as long as they are not your OWN prof/ teaching assistant

responsible for grading your work. If that situation should arise, they will alternately arrange for your work to be graded by someone else to avoid any favouritism. Check out your college's code of conduct, it's sure to be online somewhere, and see what it says.

[billy_young]

If you're under 18 then it is definitely illegal in the UK and probably in most places around the world. That's because he would legally be defined as abusing his position of authority to groom you for sexual favours... that would be the legal stance even if you consented.

If you're over 18, it's probably not illegal most places (although ages tend to be higher in the USA so you might want to check if that's where you're from) but the college or university will probably have a policy against it.

Personally, I've had a bit of a crush on loads of professors, I think most people do, but acting on that instinct is a whole different thing. I think it's a massive no go area. I wouldn't ever even flirt with a professor, let alone date her.

If you want to flirt with your teacher, that's your perogative. I wouldn't, but I think it's OK. However be aware that it could massively backfire on you. He might think that you are completely out of order and start to dislike you, pick on you in class and negatively mark your work. I think this is most likely if it's someone much older than you. If he's only a few years older, he'll probably be flattered and understand because he's been in your situation not long ago, but he won't want to risk his job by taking things any further. If he's 50+, he could think that you're a disgustingly pervy, creepy and horny young thing and hate you for it.

Of course it could go the other way and you might end up f**king in his office 3 times a week, or you might end up married with 2 kids and living happily ever after, but my opinion is that this is less likely that the chance that he'll either ignore your advances or be repulsed by them.

Let us all know what you decide :)

[Asker]

perhaps the simplist and best answer would be, if you (n the teacher) really wanted to have a relationship ... don't be their student anymore, go to a different school lol

[billy_young]

Well if you are definitely both up for it, you could do that, but that's pretty drastic - you'd be leaving all your friends and it would massively affect your education. You would need to be 100% sure that you BOTH wanted to be with each other. Alternatively, could you wait a year or 2 until you've finished at that school? How old are you both? Are you dating already & do you know he's interested or is it just that you like him at the minute?

[Scoopie]

When it's an employee of the university the answer is no. It's simply not allowed to have these kinds of relationships.

If he's still a student, then it's okay but try to do it after he's not your teacher anymore.

[james9534]

I would suggest not hitting on or starting a relationship with a professor at the college you attend. First of all, he could potentially lose his job depending on the school and if he would get caught. Second, you would probably get special privileges by the professor, like getting a better grade on an exam, allowed to turn in a paper late without penalty, etc because he would feel obligated to do so and that wouldn't be fair to the other students. If you really like your professor after you graduate from the college, then maybe you can start something but not while you are attending.

[MrEM4N]

"You shouldn't because you'll be treated better than your peers." That would convince me to do it. Not to not do it.

[billy_young]

@MrEM4N On a selfish level, yeah, being treated better than your peers sounds great. I think James is pointing out that for everyone else it is massively unfair. But I'd say that also, if your friends and other people catch on that he's treating you better than everyone else, they're going to get jealous and a) hate you, b) report the teacher.

[james9534]

Yeah Billy was right, I was trying to point out that if a professor and a student were to get involved in a relationship, it would be a conflict of interest because the professor would feel obligated to treat that student better if they were to get too close.

[jackaquack]

Haha no. Teachers are for teaching. Not having relationships with students. At my school that led to some sexual stuff and the student and teacher got expelled from my school. Leave all of that for girls your age.

[xperience]

nothing wrong with it. as long as its not being used to upgrade your failing grade.

everyone is obligated to dating. because your an adult...

[Hades]

No. A thousand times no. It's prohibited to prevent any favouritism in examinations/marking. Geez, questions like this pop up like every 48 hours. I feel sorry for that neglected search bar.

[Asker]

I f iwas dating a student I would NEVER let them off easy thou, lol it wouldn't be favouritism I'd expect them to do better because I KNOW they can lol

[Scorpi]

I don't think it is. Even if its not illegal, it would probably be frowned upon, not to mention it creates bias which I think is unfair on the other students.

[FifthElement]

Well it got me out of having to write that term paper, soooo...

I jest, of course. I see no harm in it, honestly.

[iamchum]

Legally it isn't. If you ignore that then it's up to your own personal preference and whether you can live with the consequences.

[Anonymous]

Is he YOUR teacher? That's not appropriate.

You can hit on who you want, but he's the one who should be saying no. That's a strict no-no in academia. Yes, it happens, but he could face major consequences for it.

[scar1]

nothing wrong with it as long he is not abusing his power and it is against the rules in a lot of places

[Dimonik]

Don't do it. You're risking his career if it goes anywhere.

[sikoo31]

if you're an adult, you can flirt with who you'd like.

just don't cheat on you boyfriend if you have one...

[Prof_Don]

Frankly...i think it's OK to do, as long as you know that nothing else can be pursued safely until you are no longer his student. :)

[CasaNorba]

why not? you won't have to worry about failing that class.

[Mjmolly]

But if you have a bad break up or if you don't meet the lecturer's demands you are doomed.

[Rashad]

You can try :) I know a girl that dated her teacher. Even tho it's not legal in Cali

[jokersgirl]

hit on, yes! date, NO! they will lose their job

[moloz]

There's a risk, yes.

There are other side problems that can occur, too.

[Asker]

Why isn't it allowed though your both adults and what if you guys are together before you happen to be in his class?

[jokersgirl]

well were you together before his class? if not than its totally unacceptable. he is in a position of authority and whether you think it's OK or not, its wrong

[none-of-your-herpes]

No. It will get messy.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

NOOOO!