Why do men categorize girls as either traditional or modern?

Question

I hate men who expect women to work, support the family, and take care of themselves and their children. Men who burden women with tons of work while they just go to work. What good are you, you idiots? Is working and earning money so difficult for you? Okay, I'll work too, but you'll do the housework and take care of the children.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Let's first start with some definitions so that we can be on the same page.

"Traditional Woman" = Family-oriented, holds traditional values and gender roles.

"Modern Woman" = Career-oriented, status-focused, Feminist, "strong and independent", "I don't need no man."

The vast majority of men want traditional women - of course exceptions exist - and, ideally, she would work outside the home as little as necessary. The main focus would be having children and building a family at a relatively young age (early 20s). This is how things were for all of recorded history and almost certainly for far longer than that.

What has changed, and completely destroyed this system for most people, is Feminism. Feminism encouraged women to see having a family, or being a homemaker, as slavery, and being in a relationship with a man as oppression. Instead, it encouraged women to BECOME men - to prioritize advanced education and careers, to believe that there was literally nothing that men can do that women can't, and that chasing lifestyle and status was what would bring them fulfillment.

That caused women to enter the workforce en mass in the 1970s, which perfectly aligns with when wages stopped going up with productivity - the workforce nearly doubled in 5 years which crashed the value of labor (when there is an over supply of something, its market value falls). Before this time, most men could support a family on a single income. By the late 70s, only 50% of men could do so, and that number continued to decline. Today, it's nearly impossible for men in their early/mid 20s to support a family on a single income. But it's still what most men want - they would prefer that their women didn't have to work.

Here’s the other thing that few women realize - while many men have walked away from women completely, if we look at the men who haven't, most still only want to be in a relationship with a traditional woman. But since so few women are traditional, when most of these men meet a modern woman, he immediately disqualifies her as a relationship prospect, and only sees her as being good for "recreational use" - casual sex. Women wonder why they can find a man but that man won't commit, well, that's why. The men who lack the discipline to walk away entirely are still in the game because they desire sex, and they are OK with getting it from modern women that they would never commit to.

Again, most men would prefer to get married in their early 20s, have a family, and stay with her for life. Yes, most would be poor when they were younger and it would be a struggle. The wife would probably need to work prior to the children being born, but by his late 20s, he could probably support a simple life on his income alone, so she could stay home with the kids.

But Feminism taught women to go out and compete directly with men in the workplace, to demand luxury lifestyles (that most women will never get regardless), and to not even think about children until her mid-30s, when her fertility window is already closing. That rarely works out well.

Men didn't change - it was women who embraced Feminism and now don't like the unintended consequences.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Why do you hate those men? Those men just aren’t right for you. There are TONS of women who I wouldn’t personally date but I don’t hate them. So hating people…. Shows how bitter you are. You can have standards…But hating someone says more about you then anyone else. Normal people just don’t date people who aren’t compatible.

Keep in mind… many women want to work and even in older times many women worked it was middle class and up that they women stayed home…. Also plenty of women go back into the workforce, work from home, or work part time. A lot of jobs…. Just don’t pay that kind of money.

The other thing… real traditional relationships the woman works. The woman works equally as hard in her own role as the man. She takes care of the home. She does the childcare labor (obviously spending time with the kids is a must for both parents I’m talking labor) she also managed the bills and money. A lot of women want the benefits of traditionalism without the responsibility. Many women who want to be traditional cannot manage money much less lift a finger without bitching about it. Not all…. But the narcissistic type who are online talking about how happy they are to stay home and never work again…. And later complaining about their lives.

That’s the difference. A real relationship is 50/50…. Some people just take on different roles in some cases. That’s the difference. Women worked HARD…. There wasn’t fast food or boxed meals. They made food from scratch cooking was harder then. These women sewn clothes. Many of these women made maintenance repairs on the homes. As well as…. We’re without their husbands when they man worked a job that required him to be away a lot. So guess what? Those women did all kinds of stuff.

Don’t think a traditional relationship done correctly is a feee ride.

fonduegirl · Accepted Answer

How about a housekeeper? For the kids and the chores. Most houses these days are dual income so it's only fair.

I'm never getting married if there's no housekeeper in the equation. For the record, both my parents earn. We live in a liberal household, though my mom has similar complaints. I don't want to become her.

Also, kids are too much work. I put on the most mermaidy gown today, birthday and all, ain't no way I'm ruining my perfect hourglass.

beenherebefore · Accepted Answer

Because some women prefer to be traditional while others prefer to be independent/modern.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Traditional and modern are used in this sense for purpose of gender roles , that’s not to say your either one of the one , i I generally couldn’t care less as long as I can make it work with my partner. No expectations or obligations because ot in spite of our genders

Additionally , I would never expect her to do everything in looking after the home while I simply work even if I was the sole wage earner. I’d clearly be more competent / able than her in some ways , expecting / asking her while funny wouldn’t be productive.

“Hey honey , why haven’t you laid the patio that we talked about “ or “ hey honey , we could do with more power outlets In the bedroom , you can get that done while I’m at work “

My partner and I work long hours that take us away from the normal routine of many couples , we both take care of the jobs that need to be done and do the tasks for each other that we are better at or that we enjoy and it works perfectly well without even the mention of gender roles or traditional / modern women 😂😂😂

HawkPerception · Answer

Women worked hard back in the day and cooking and cleaning was a full time job. They didn't have all the machines and devices we have nowadays to help out with the cleaning and cooking. But they didn't complain because that's what they brought to the relationship... household duties and handling the kids, while the man was the breadwinner and had to focus solely on that. Both jobs were hard in their own rights.

What I consider a traditional woman, is a girl who wants to be a stay at home partner. They handle all the cooking and cleaning and the man is the one making all the money. However, that dynamic doesn't work as well nowadays, because we've created an economy that requires the majority of the population to work. Unless the man is rich or well off, in which case he'd be able to provide that dynamic.

I personally am okay with either or. Either we both work, cook, clean, and handle the kids together, or I work and make all the money and she cooks and cleans and handles the kids (which is way easier than it used to be without all the technology we have now).

On a side note... I don't think guys you sitting on a guy's face is a threat 😂

Lliam · Answer

I think guys who want "traditional" wives are looking for meek, submissive, uneducated, obedient virgins with no life experience who will be completely dependent. They think women are inferior to men in every way. They want a mommy to clean up after them, cook delicious meals and serve them. They want her to bear and care of his children. At the same time, they want her to gratify his sexual desires.
They think the only way to guarantee her loyalty is to keep her financially dependent.

Modern means educated, informed, competent, hard working, and confident in their intellect and abilities. They want the same respect from their partner that he wants from them. They can be loyal, ethical, feminine, and sexual, but are not door mats to be bossed around or be taken advantage of. They do not want to dominate. They want a relationship with equal respect and admiration.
Guys who think all modern women are status oriented are projecting their own materialistic values.

Women who take advantage of men and expect to be pampered are not "modern". They are lazy, greedy gold diggers.

MrChinaski · Answer

A lot of men are struggling with the tension between cultural expectations and the real world.

- Some grow up being told they are meant to be bread winners, but getting a well paying job with a future trajectory is hard and their partner will earn an income too.

-Some grow up being told physicality is strength, but the number of jobs requiring strength has been on a secular decline relative to population and the return to strength in terms of wages is lower.

-Some grow up being told not to show or even have feelings, yet most of the employment growth requires soft people skills... nurses, age care workers, counsellors, psychologists, etc.

- For whatever reasons, on average women have been doing better at school and are more likely to enter a college degree career-track.

- People don't partner as young as they used to and some feel like they are floating through life lonely.

So for some men, the idea of a 'traditional marriage' with a 'traditional' woman is nostalgia for an earlier time they never knew where there was a simpler mold men could take for success.

I'm sure that is a tiny slice of the explanation, but it's what I have seen a lot of.

ManOnFire · Answer

In some sense you are correct. In today's world it's almost impossible to have a family or marriage with a "traditional" woman. It's not even financially possible unless the man makes a ton of money and can afford to have a wife who can just do all the house work, so men should not be expecting to find traditional women all that often, or even expecting their woman to be traditional. If she wasn't when you met, she's not going to be in your marriage.

But, women are doing the same thing to men. They are expecting men to be all these great, flashy, wealthy things they only see as marriage material. The vast majority of men are not millionaires and don't need to be either. But women are having stupid ideas about that being the ideal man.

RavVid · Answer

Traditional or modern is a ready distinction is all and sort of reflects individual preferences.

How things are divided up depends on the couple and both should be maximizing the household. I have a high hourly rate of pay and if my partner has a low rate of pay it could be more advantageous for her to support me in working more hours whilst she does fewer hours paid work.

Quite a lot of couples like that the mother does most of the early child rearing.

It has to depend on a couple by couple basis. One or other of a couple may make more contribution than the other. That is just normal. I like gardening and external appearance more than most. Women tend to be particular about the internals of a house. It is up to each couple to find a balance that suits.

MisterWack · Answer

I don’t, I say “fuck that”.

You will be a complex human being with your own set of morals, integrity, personality, interests, goals, definitions of success, and hobbies that don’t paint you black or white.

Doesn’t make you whatever you feel is a label.

You be you and leave them guessing as to why?

Anonymous · Answer

What @MrOracle wrote is 100% correct. The changes that have happened in gender roles and relations over the last 50 years were NOT because men wanted them. It was all women, and feminism in particular.

What men want and need in a wife / partner has never changed. Women changed the rules and then just expected men to continue to play the game by their new rules. It hasn't worked out well for either gender.

Men want a woman who meets the same needs men have always had. Call it whatever you want, but to me there are only two categories... women who are real women, and women who are not.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

How on Earth are you not expected to take care of a family when you have willingly entered into one? That's like throwing a fit because you are now expected to take care of a pet after you bought one.

Is the "modern woman" a woman who abandons the family, just like the fathers we love to make fun of for going to get milk an cigarettes and never returns? If so, then doesn't it stand to reason why traditional men avoid "modern" women?

The father leaving for work is also not an abandonment of the family, in fact it is the reason you are able to feed the kids.

aceleon · Answer

hard? hardly

distastefull and unrewarding? most definitely.

did you ever thought that maybe we just want to have our cake and eat it too? and are not above using some labels into getting what we want?

i assure you, nothing worse than what womans uses to get what they want.

humans are selfish bitches, deal with it.

Zack-Bann · Answer

I’m not sure threatening us with a good time is the best approach 🙃
I was about to agree with you but now I kinda wanna call you out … haha

But more seriously: I believe relationships should be a shared labor
If I can bring in 100% of the income I expect her to take care of the home

But if I can only do 50 60 70% of the income and she needs to work as well, we’ll split the house work as well

Twalli · Answer

My parents are definitely more modern, even though they were married in 1984. My mom made more than my dad. Since she was the primary breadwinner, he did most of the housework and took care of my sister and me in the afternoons. In order to do this, he left for work in the morning at 4am. That was his role, as the secondary breadwinner. You can't work 9-5 and pick up your kids after school at 3.

jshm2 · Answer

We do? Since when?

Your problem is not understanding people have different backgrounds.

Men who have grown up in a household where no women worked will of course be more favourable to that lifestyle. Doesn't mean it's wrong or right - just means you've got to work with him to understand your views as well.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Why do men categorize girls as either traditional or modern?

Y'all categorized yourselves as that. Nor are you the only one who's been working since childhood it's not that big of a flex.

This doesn't really seem like an actual issue and more just a personal issue.

Miristheiss · Answer

Traditional is kind of a myth.

VIRTUOUS is what is really meant.

There are really very, very, very few virtuous women.

"A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life."

Shiprex · Answer

The trad or modern take is the roles played in a relationship.
Depending on what kind of relationship a man is prepared or willing to set up will give the women privileges of not needing to work but being expected to be a submissive partner who looks after the home and answers to his leadership.
The other is more open to sharing and switching leadership roles.

Kaneki05 · Answer

It's not a big deal human nature to categorize things it's a basic concept to make things easier to understand. If you take it as an insult that's some personal issue you have, making something from nothing.

Fruitpunch1789 · Answer

You're 22, so you can be excused for your linear thinking. I work everyday, unless I have a date or on vacation - as does the rest of my family. My friends too work very hard. It sounds like you're in an area or at the very minimum meeting the wrong types of men.

Also, to be frank, if you're going to work in lower end jobs, many of those people are unfortunately lazy (at least here in the US it's like that, but I don't know about Turkey).

DextroShade · Answer

I agree with you, which is why I don't expect my wife to work outside the home. This whole system of women working instead of staying home with the kids had been a complete and utter disaster and is causing the downfall of Western Civilization.

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

"I hate men who expect women to work, support the family, and take care of themselves and their children. Men who burden women with tons of work while they just go to work."

you can thank feminists for that. before feminism women actually had a choice to be "traditional" or "modern" but now they are force to be in both heaven and hell simoltaneously

Likes2drive · Answer

I do it all right now but my kids are grown and on their own, I’m currently single and living alone but I do everything myself so I definitely could have a traditional woman here but if someone split the expenses I would be doing better and not lonely so some are looking for a modern woman so they don’t have to pay for everything

loveslongnails · Answer

Here's an idea -- don't get married. Another idea - don't bring kids into this fucked up world. Problem solved. But, if you insist on doing both of those things, find a better man.

Dargil · Answer

They are really more on a sliding scale. But there are also several other categories.

David318578 · Answer

Its not just mean categorizing women as modern or traditional. Women also categorize themselves as modern or trad

Also sitting on a guys face is not a punishment for the guy, unless he is gay that is lol

slatyb · Answer

I don't categorize them at all. It's silly to try to fit people into boxes. I just take them one at a time.

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

As long as her and I get along, that's the only thing that matters. Response to update: I don't think that's the threat you intended for it to be. 😂

Rangers · Answer

Cause girls are splitting between modern, miserable women and sweet, happy women. I'm guessing you're the first one?

permanent · Answer

You just sound like a loser that's unwilling to be a woman.

Anonymous · Answer

I think women need to be more traditional. Modern ones today are too feminist, they don’t appreciate us, their dating standards are too high. Women just need to be put in their place and submit to men. We submit to god

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why women categorize men as either traditional or modern. Also delete their change their mind if it's just convenient

Ironco · Answer

Calm down... And good luck in your future...

Anonymous · Answer

would you prefer men categorize women as whore vs wife-material? it's not as if women don't subconsciously categorize men either

Anonymous · Answer

I use the Attractive or unattractive system myself

Bloodparadise · Answer

I don't know.. girls just wanna have fun (mostly)😅😂

CherryLove007 · Answer

You are not wrong.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

To me, broads are hot or not.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I don't.

Why do men categorize girls as either traditional or modern?

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