Is it rude or insulting to refuse payment for helping friends?

[Twodogs0525]

I do odd jobs for my older neighbors and they always offer me 20 or 30 dollars but I will refuse it, their my friends. Eventually, I take it, because they insist but I always feel guilty but at the same time, I think they might feel guilty and/or insulted if I don't take it. I few times I completed the job and just left lol but they would come over to pay me! I'm just wondering what your thoughts are.

Updates

4 mo

I'll ask another way! AI fucked my question up! If we were friends and I did a small job or favor for you, would you feel insulted if I didn't take money from you, if you offered it?

[Anonymous]

Rudeness isn't the worst thing that can happen in life. I myself want as many rude awakenings as possible. And here is one for you: politeness can evolve society backwards if it turns a voluntary selfless act of love into a cold, uniform, dissipation of feelings of being moved, if payment is a relief they use to stop the burden of feeling gratitude for your help.

So, maybe rudeness is a bit of a goal. If you're in an environment where every pays or "tips" then refuse it. If their payment is a special occasion then take it. ㅤ

If it's neither rare nor the standard to pay, then i would take it and leave it alternating.

[Beckybooboo]

When I lived in Milwaukee, I had two of the nicest older ladies that lived next to me. They put bird feeders outside their living room window and loved watching the birds but when it snowed, they weren't able to feed them, so, I offered. I would take about twenty minutes to clean the feeders and put feed in them. Not a big deal.. They would try to give like 20 dollars every time I did it! I would laugh and say there "is no way in hell, I'm going to take money"! I forgot they knew my address lol They would spend money and send me the most beautiful sunflowers! My favorite flower. I would say, yes, just take the money!..

[RandomGirl42]

No, but what is rude is, you called me chubby! And that's why I'm not paying you anything in the first place and besides I am NOT chubby, just my jeans shrunk in the dryer and it had nothing to do with any Valentines chocolates I might have accidentally eaten.

[Twodogs0525]

🐂 shit! Just today, I called you "tiny!" A couple days ago, I called you "slim!" You're definitely the half empty or unfull glass of vodka type of pessimistic person that brings this site down! Do better! And God bless you, sister!

[RandomGirl42]

Well, I wouldn't be so pessimistic if someone would fill my glass with vodka again! 🤣

[jamesgoldman]

Not insulted but I'd probably off payment in a less formal way like a case of beer

[Twodogs0525]

We always do that. My wife always invites them over for cookouts but they usually never come, so we'll take food to them.. they're always very thankful but I think they're just very private people. I can definitely respect that.

[Kelley1]

Just accept because it makes them feel good to pay 10% of the market rate. A plumber will charge $350 to repair a leaky fauset that takes less then 15 minutes and $5 in material. Likely they will offer $25.

[In_Trance]

So what you're saying is you refuse it, but you don't refuse it

[Twodogs0525]

No, AI fucked my question up! I asked, if we were friends and I did a favor or small job for you and YOU offered me money but I refused to take it, would YOU feel insulted by me not taking it?

[Twodogs0525]

Did you even read the details before you decided to troll, like you always do?

[In_Trance]

No, if you look at the way your question is worded in the details that's exactly what it says

[Twodogs0525]

You're COMPLETELY missing the point of the question, in your lame attempt to troll! The question has absolutely NOTHING to do with whether or not I take money. The question has to do with whether or not the people are insulted by me not wanting to take it.

[In_Trance]

No you asked something and then your actions were the complete opposite of what you asked.

[Twodogs0525]

What question did I ask? Lol

[DevilishDanni]

I'd never take money for helping a friend with anything either, I would just assume it was part of things friends do for each other.

[aroshma]

It sounds like you’re caught in a classic "politeness standoff." To answer your specific question: If we were friends and you refused my payment, I wouldn’t feel insulted

[Lance1258]

No if you genuinely don’t want to accept it and you’re helping to honestly there’s no reason to feel guilty.

[GrammariklyIncorrekt]

If you deny it twice and they still insist, just take it at that point. They really just want to bless you so don't take that blessing from them.

[msc545]

You should probably just take the money. I think your neighbors don't want to feel obligated to you. That's understandable

[Mike_Hum]

It’s not rude to refuse the money.

[Twodogs0525]

Thank you.

[noohair]

I don't think so. You can always take the money and donate it.

[oldman26]

Depends on if you have expenses helping them

[Twodogs0525]

Just time and strength lol At times I have to drive long distances for certain things, so gas can be an issue. I just think they feel insulted if I don't take money, so I stopped arguing.

[oldman26]

I get that, i cut the grass for some neighbors as a kid, took less than 15 minutes, they always wanted to pay 5 dollars, a dollar would have been over pay

[Twodogs0525]

That's how my dad made money as a kid. It started with a neighbor that had a bad back, from driving truck over road. Then word of mouth traveled throughout the neighborhood! Next thing he knew, he put his two kids through college cutting grass and doing snow removal.. among other things. That is one of the things I do for my neighbors. Cutting grass and maintenance on their lawnmower.

[exitseven]

No, it a appropriate.

[jahaims]

Take the money then spend it on them

[LC75LC71]

Yup, blame AI..

[Sal_Monella]

Awkward. Often unnecessary.

[Snakeyes7]

No I'd argue its the opposite