Do you agree that domestic violence has no gender?

[msc545]

Updates

2 mo

Men are more often the identified and blamed perpetrators. Women are more often the alleged victims. Women also are far more often the ones who lie about getting abused.

Updates

2 mo

I consider that telling lies about what someone has done to get other individuals to arrest and can find that person is a form of violence that should not be tolerated. This is what women often do to men.

[Taurus_Woman]

The first sentence is true in a general sense: domestic violence can affect anyone, regardless of gender. Men, women, and non-binary people can all be victims or perpetrators.

But the rest of the statement needs more accuracy:

Research consistently shows that women are more often victims of severe physical injury and coercive control in domestic violence cases, while men are more often reported as perpetrators in official statistics. This doesn’t mean men can’t be victims, they absolutely can, but patterns do exist in data.

The claim that “women are far more often the ones who lie about getting abused” is not supported as a general fact. False reports of domestic violence are considered rare compared to the overall number of true cases, and most victims (regardless of gender) face the opposite problem: underreporting due to fear, shame, or dependence.

[msc545]

Nobody makes any effort to uncover women's lies about how domestic violence gets started or how it occurs. Men are routinely arrested for domestic violence with a complete lack of any objective evidence whatsoever other than the words of a woman. Women evoke violent responses on The part of men with their demeaning and vile words.

[Taurus_Woman]

False accusations can happen and should always be taken seriously, because every person deserves fairness and proper evidence. At the same time, domestic violence is never justified by someone’s words or insults. Verbal conflict and physical violence are not the same thing, and responsibility for violence still lies with the person choosing to become violent.

[msc545]

Women often seek to deliberately evoke violent responses by men with their words so that they can later claim that they were the victims of domestic violence. Women often involve the police and his altercation specifically because they want the men to be arrested and charged so as to give them more control over the men's behavior.

[thegreenyogi]

Yes I do agree. Men and women can be abusive equally.

[Effably]

Of course. It is fairly common for both men and women to be victims of. Women somewhat more. Men are more often the abusers, although it is closer than most might think.

On the other hand, it is more common for young boys to be victims than young girls. And women are more often the abusers when it comes to children. Although again, not a crazy difference.

So yes. Like with pretty much any crime I think we should just agree we hate the crime and come up with ideas to fix it. Absent gender wars to fill some influencers interaction meter.

[RavVid]

It depends on what you classify as violence. There is fairly good evidence that women start arguments and emotionally attack their partner. And may physically attack their partner. So the meme that men are entirely responsible for domestic violence is incorrect.

So yeah I agree with the statement.

[RavVid]

Thanks for a mho.

[MemeSupreme]

definitely, no matter the type

my boyfriend's ex was abusive and he's still recovering from that years later. like he flinches sometimes still and even tho i get it, it still breaks my heart every time

emotional abuse is already really hard to prove or just feel is real bc imposter syndrome (also trauma bonding), but i really do feel for guys about that stuff being judged harsher i guess

[Anonymous]

Domestic Violence has no gender, but if we revoke that we also revoke women being the majority of incidents as the victim. And actual victims for that matter.

And women are the majority for being genuinely abused, one bad apple shouldn’t ruin the whole bunch here in terms of lying bastards only to accuse their spouse for financial gain, attention, or something else. Women are still the majority of victims and should be given the supports, while giving men more supports to come forward and giving men more voices and opportunities to share their truth.

[Smashingdoozy]

Of course. While women are predominantly victims, some are also instigators.

[msc545]

Actually, I believe many are instigators. Women never seem to know when it's time to be quiet.

[Smashingdoozy]

Statistically women are victims. What does being quiet have to do with DV?

[msc545]

Yes, I would agree. Statistically, women are victims because more women allege that they are victims to the police, and the police believe them. I think that women often say very provocative things to men, assuming that nothing terrible will happen to them, because usually it doesn't. Unfortunately, for everyone involved, if you say the wrong things to an angry man who doesn't have much self-control, you are very likely to get hit. I have heard women say things to men that I would absolutely never say unless I felt like getting in a fight. Women don't seem to understand the power of their words.

[Smashingdoozy]

Are you insinuating that some women are asking to be hit?

[msc545]

No, what I'm stating is that some women say things to men that are extremely provocative and don't realize what the likely effect is going to be. I don't think anyone asks to be a foodie other than someone who is a dedicated masochist, which most people are not.

[msc545]

Somehow my system wrote the word "foodie" in here. Just ignore it, please.

[Smashingdoozy]

Doesn't matter what anyone says. Violence isn't justified

[msc545]

Violence is never justified and nobody said it was.

[Smashingdoozy]

You kinda did though... you're saying women should expect violence if they make a man angry.

[msc545]

Yes, realistically they should because men tend to try to resolve problems with anger and violence instead of with words. As we get older, of course that tends to change but it never goes away completely. Those of us that are mature of course. Never do any violence, but plenty of men do. If you walk into the cage of a tiger and tease the tiger, you can expect the tirer to Respond with violence too. That is not your fault and it's not the tiger's fault. You should be smart enough not to walk into a tiger's cage and try to tease it.

[msc545]

Saying that women should expect violence if they say the wrong things to men is not the same thing as saying that. I think the violence is justified. Violence is no more justified than earthquakes are, but they still lead to a lot of trouble. Anything you can do to prevent violence or prevent earthquakes is worth doing.

[msc545]

Women should be smart enough not to yell and scream call men names because every once in awhile doing that is going to result in you getting the hell beat out of you. Not every time obviously, but often enough that it's a bad idea.

[msc545]

I'm going to think about it in whatever way makes sense to me whether you like it or not.

[MisterWack]

@Smashingdoozy Women are predominately the victims.
And domestic violence isn’t just a one time occurrence or just light hits, it can be murder or attempted murder. I know women aren’t asking for it and just as women are victims, men can be victims too.

[Smashingdoozy]

@MisterWack did you intend to @ me on that reply? I obviously avree

[MisterWack]

Sometimes I throw in the @, yeah I acknowledge shouldn’t have done it this time.

[slatyb]

A large majority of domestic violence is perpetrated by men, it's not even close. Yes, some men are in abusive relationships but they are rarely violently abusive.

[msc545]

How do you know that any of what you just said is true at all?

[msc545]

I think a large majority of domestic violence is incited by women who provoke men deliberately

[slatyb]

You can think whatever you want, but the data is clear. Men commit by far most physical violence, domestic or otherwise. Saying it's "incited by women" is an excuse of abusers. Are you just trolling here?

[msc545]

I think you're mistaken in that most domestic violence is reported by women. That doesn't mean that it's committed by men. It just means that a lot of women lie about it because it gives them a lot of control. Many women lie and allege domestic violence that never even occurred. Most men who are arrested for domestic violence are not charged because there is literally no evidence to support the accusation.

Ask me if I'm trolling again and get yourself permanently blocked. I pretty much had it with your accusations.

[MrChinaski]

Violence is violence. Prevalence differs by gender.

[msc545]

I'm sorry, but I think allegations and attribution differ greatly by gender. That doesn't mean that the prevalence of violence itself differs by gender.

[MrChinaski]

In about 85 to 90% of intimate partner homicides a woman is the victim here in Australia. Not allegations. Not attributions. That's an objective body count.

Maybe your mileage there differs. I doubt it.

[msc545]

Here in the US, I believe that women incite violence from men on a regular basis. The scenario is that the woman will badger and insult the man to the point that he becomes violent or she says he is violent and then she calls police who take her side in this almost every time. The only thing necessary for a man to get arrested is for the woman to call the police and when they arrive to make allegations that he threatened her. I have had many male patients who have been arrested this way. Charges are almost never filed but the man who's arrested whites up with a record of the arrest which follows him for a very long time and he usually spends the night in jail and sometimes a little bit longer. The real problem with this whole thing is that the woman learns that she has a tremendous amount of power just by making false allegations and the next time she gets upset with the me on all she has to do is call the cops and they will come and arrest him if she says that he threatened her. This sort of strategy by women also bleeds over into the family law process such that men often lose custody of their children or a substantial amount of it. Because of the allegations, women make that again cannot be proven and are considered to be good evidence despite the lack of any objective evidence that they are true. I have two male patients who are in the middle of this problem right now are spending large amounts of money to try and counter it in court without much success. Do you have anything like this going on there where you are?

[msc545]

Here in the US there is a presumption that men automatically perpetrators if women say they are and women are always victims despite the lack of any evidence of the truth of any of this.

[lilBigPotato]

Yes of course. In the vast majority of cases the woman is the victim, but it doesn't mean that it can't go the other way around. I'm sure those exist too.

[msc545]

The vast majority of cases, the woman says she is the victim. That doesn't mean she is.

[lilBigPotato]

Ah yes... Let's take the few black sheep and question everything because of it... I'm sure that will make things better!

Instead of spreading doubt, how about we work on a way to help people and encourage them to report the cases to the police? Because that's the main issue. Victims are afraid to speak up, often do it too late or get threatened not to do it.

Look at the statistics. To suggest that a huge amount of them are based on lies is ridiculous.

www.thehotline.org/.../

ec.europa.eu/.../index.php

[msc545]

Too many women have realized that the way they can control a man is by threatening to call the police. When they do call the police, they complain to the police that the man has threatened them, and he goes immediately to jail. Don't try to talk your way out of this. I've seen it happen to too many men.

[Staximus]

Violence is violence

[Sevenpointfive]

it's a hermaphrodite.

[OddBeMe]

No... false equivalency. Sure women hit men and should arrested by cops. But only one gender kills.

[msc545]

Women kill too. Don't kid yourself.

[TonyMetal___86]

True