Why do people only talk about domestic violence against women and not men?

[Anonymous]

It happens to men just as much as it happens to women. So many men are killed by their wife or their girlfriend.

[Alpha09]

Because the women is more likely to be the ones physically abused in a hostile relationship. And also men are less likely to report it because of how society treats men who do say something. Women have a hard time getting help as it is in domestic abuse cases, I'd imagine it's even harder for men. Just look at Johnny Depp. Not to mention you don't really see men meeting by the thousands to protest abuse. A lot of the time guys get told "your a pussy for letting a girl do that to you" or "Nah I bet you liked it" if it's sexual assault. Men at least from my perspective don't stick together when it comes to things like this. We have the women's rights movement, the gay pride movement as well as POC events. Of course there are probably some groups who are centered around helping men, but the support isn't seen on a wide scale. I've heard guys say "well why won't the feminist's start supporting us" which makes sense, however women started the feminist movement. Men need to start supporting each other the same without judgement, otherwise the descussion isn't going to happen if it's just women and a few guys who care are talking about it. For some reason, and I don't mean this in a mocking way but it's the truth: men create a lot of unnecessary rules for themselves that ultimately limit them in terms of expressing emotions or certain thoughts because they are deemed "feminine," and not acceptable qualities for a "real" man. If your friend is being abused by his girlfriend he deserves all the support from his friends, and support from the law. We have a problem in this country where we hold men to such rigid and limited standards in terms of masculinity that it doesn't allow for any other narrative in a way that actually makes for positive change. Being honest about being in an abusive relationship as a man shouldn't affect how he is perceived. Men suffer to and for it to be ignored doesn't help anyone. So please listen to the men in your life without judgement, just as much as the women because it's just as important and they deserve support to.

[Puppystarfish23]

I honestly don't know and it really upsets me. One of my best friends told his ex girlfriend would beat him and he at first acted as if it was funny. I told him straight up that was abuse. she was a vegan and if she saw him eat meat she'd punch him in the face and another time he didn't answer the door to her Amazon package and she chased him around the house and he locked himself in the bathroom and she kicked it down and beat him , she was a monster. She'd always put him down and tell him he couldn't do better, she'd stop him from eating and be violent towards him , she'd even cheat on him and threaten to kill herself if he left her or kill his pet rabbit.

I felt terrible for him even though he'd left this relationship before telling me. I said he needed to report her to the police so she doesn't hurt others or expose her online or something. I told him he was very brave to get out of that relationship and if he ever wanted to talk to me about it I was here to listen. Another boy over heard and he told me his ex girlfriend ripped up all his clothes and slashed his tires when he broke up with her after cheating on him.

I honestly thought to myself "wft is wrong with some girls" . I told them not all girls like this and they shouldn't tolerate it as it is abuse but I got these two guys talking about their abusive ex's and the formed a friendship from it.

I really think guys need to start speaking to each other about these things and not tolerate it. guys need to stick together like women do.

Even the Johnny Depp case disgustes me. Its only gonna scared more men from speaking out and defending themselves and I hope Johnny keeps fighting not just for himself but for all the men out there who've been abused and not taken seriously. If he eventually wins, he will be a great example to men say to why they should fight back against it.

[NamerOfStars]

Empathy and respect. I should probably do a MyTake about them, but it's too damn depressing.

Men don't get the empathy that an abuse victim should- ESPECIALLY if the abuser is female. You're a man, you're just supposed to "take it". Or fight back and stop her (as though that wouldn't get you arrested). Or be so strong that she's unable to hurt you.

Women don't get the respect to be seen as a real threat. Men are bigger and stronger, so how (the argument goes) could she hurt a man? Evidently these people have never heard of sleeping. Or of weapons. Most households (outside of Switzerland) don't have guns, but take a good look at a steak knife some time- not a fancy, elaborate demi-machete meat cleaver, just a standard serrated blade. You probably have a couple in your silverware drawer. Think of how much damage you could do with one of those, especially to a person who didn't know you were going to attack them. Nor does this get better when you leave male victims out of the picture: domestic violence rates in lesbian relationships are horrifyingly high- and vanishingly rare in gay male ones.

Egalitarianism is a wonderful idea that many people espouse, but few are willing to examine their own beliefs and correct deviations from it. And the rising perspective that being a victim gives you moral authority means that it's VERY unpopular to point out that suffering isn't limited to one demographic. Erin Pizzey set up one of the first abused women's shelters in the world back in the 70's. She was applauded, and rightly so- until she pointed out that most domestic violence was reciprocal- and when it wasn't, it was usually female-initiated. The backlash was so severe that she had to flee the country in fear for her life. People caught in abusive relationships are more likely to be abusive themselves- to say nothing of the children; some psychological counseling for these people seems (to me, at least) like a REALLY GOOD IDEA, but some people have far too much invested in victimhood to let the truth get in their way.

[worldscolide]

Because to those that are in charge of the multi billion dollar industry that is the domestic violence industry, if they admitted that men could be victims too (which they are 50% of the time) they would have to admit that women can be violent, it would take the victim status away from women.. I asked a question about this a while back.. It holds true today..

Man: “I need help, my wife/girlfriend is abusing me!”
Police: “she’s half your size, man up”
DV helpline: “call men's-line, we are for women”
Men's-line: “we are a perpetrator line”
Courthouse: “women only in our safe room”
Court DV liaison: “we can only help women”
DV legal services: “ we are only funded for women”
DoCS: “stop reporting her, women aren’t violent”
Family court: “you’re lying to keep the kids”
Media: “it’s only because she’s mentally ill”
Feminists: “what did you do to make her hit you?”
Hospital: “we only ask DV questions to women”
Researchers: “no one will fund us to ask you”
Government: “National Organization for Women (NOW) won’t allow us to fund you”
DV industry (Mostly feminists): “patriarchy is the cause of all DV”
Judge: “you can’t have an Restraining order, she’s smaller”
Real estate: “without an Restraining order, you can’t break lease”
Behavior program: “it’s all you’re fault, you have to change!!”
Coroners court: “we’ve never recorded a single male DV death”
DV Shelter: "Sorry we only serve women and girls, your son can't be here"
DV Shelter: "Sorry we only serve women, you cannot be here"
Society: “if men are really DV victims, why don’t they come forward?”

Why is it so hard for men to get support for domestic violence in the US?

[worldscolide]

I will tell you my story.. I had an ex i was with when i was 27 - 28. She was jealous, controling, hateful, and downright mean. The final straw was when she attacked me outside of a grocery store, I broke it off with her. She left. She later came back by my home under the guise that she left something that belonged to her. I opened the door, and she hit me with a broken pool cue, and sliced my face up.. the police threatened me, telling me that i am lucky that im not going to jail. They told me that they do not charge women with domestic violence. The doctor asked "what did you do to deserve that" As if anyone deserves what happened to me..

[btbc92]

I like how you created such a realistic dialog. This sadly is the same for women. But women are 2x as likely to get some resource while men barely get any and it's sad. While mare is usually the ones who incite violence. These days women do even worse and hurt men. Men are lacking better resources end help. But the ones who walk out from the help are the men because similar to what you said.

[JanusVariant]

incredibly well put. i needed this info

[ADFSDF1996]

Because the political left considers men’s needs to be less important. That’s how hypocritical the political left is, they claim to be for “equality” but don’t have any problem neglecting the needs of groups they like to scapegoat as being “privileged”.

[apimpnamedslickback]

This is not a political issue. When have you seen the right talk about this issue? They're just as bad.

[VanillaSalt]

I does agree it is a political issue. The left don’t care about men they care about women getting special or at least what they call equal treatment while still retaining the special privileges that women tend to get for example this the freedom of never having to pay for assault or even sexual assault.

That being said I completely agree with this post. I saw can happen from both sides and I have been a victim of it but in my case I didn’t just sit there and take it I stepped up and I gave her a solid push she fell to the ground called the cops and within 10 minutes the cops were at my house talking to me about what happened. She was drunk she was my mother and they almost took her to jail for being belligerent. I told him not to as soon as they left she started back up again and they said as long as I wasn’t fearing for my safety they would not come back out and arrest her. I have a disturbing the peace on my record because of that on my otherwise spotless record and let me tell you I could rip that woman’s head off right now because of it.

[lucas262]

Why do men get to keep the kids only 10% of the time

Why are marriage counselors and family courts and divorce laws and lawyers so biased against men?

Why are women bing hired in place of qualified men for being a woman to fill a spot.

Why are men raped more than women if you add prison in the mix,

Why are men the majority of suicides homelessness, war deaths and victims of violent crimes and still seen as the oppressive sex?

Why are boys not taught differently than girls in school and blamed

Why are boys subjects of genital mutilation at Child birth

Why is it wrong for men to own their bodies in contraception or take charge in insuring consent?

Why is male sexuallity demonized as unclean and dirty when it's as natural him as a woman's?

Because society doesn't care.

It never will not enough to change it because to do that, you'd have to face the facts that men and women are not equal, and change laws that favor women and oppress men but that would disadvantage women and no one will have that.

[Underworld158]

I have dealt with some abusive women but mainly verbally. Women can be very verbally and emotionally aggressive and manipulative. But unfortunately our stupid laws dont deal probably with emotional abuse because of this no evidence shit. Despite that its equally destructive. But usually women avoid physical altercation out of fear of being hurt. Also male victims rarely see their situation as abuse because they falsely think that they are in control or that its shameful to report being beaten. another reason is the police are lousy. They wait for shyt to hit the fan , and for many cases to happen. before they interfere. Or for new laws to be established

[Asker]

This is absolutely true word for word. With women the abuse is mostly verbal but there are many cases where women have caused grievous bodily harm and/or killed their spouse. Most women kill by poisoning but there are also some who kill them with physical violence.

[Lion91]

It's very a good question 🤔 It's tremendously sad how Society Discriminates Gender Difference and Stereotype Men for always involved with this Horrible and Tactic Act. Girls are becoming much more Intimidated towards Guys that aren't half those People. But not One single Girl is Committed to these Scenes period 🙄 I have Girl Cousins that
have Furious Characters, haven't spoken to them for quite awhile. Also quit my Job after almost 10 years because of the Lady that I worked with, she was always verbally scolding me, couldn't take it anymore, so left finally. But these type of Women.., programed to Physically hit Men and Verbally Dominate them. Here in Canada not once heard of Charges of Women abusing Men. It's crazy really 😳

[Asker]

You don’t hear it because men keep it quiet and unfortunately like everyone else has said it is the shame factor and the fact that people tend not to take men seriously when they speak about getting attacked by a woman. Women sometimes get away with rape.

[Lion91]

The lady I used to work with always get away with Purposely and Verbally Scolding me. The Owner & Foreman didn't care, who's a Man. If she wanted to would have got Physical, she would even come in my Face. He was Instigating her. Funny a 69 year old women that you would see smiling at everybody. Who would even guess 🤔

[Barbaric]

It's because men are stronger than women. This seems to me like just another way to emasculate men and deny biological reality. "Men you can be victims too and that's okay, cry more and feel sorry for yourself".

This is what happens when a woman tries to hit a man who is actually a man:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/_XDW6xo5scU

Nothing. It's like being hit by a child.

How guys end up being abused long-term I have no idea. I think it's a side effect of the emasculation of modern men.

You mentioned to the pink anon that she should "buff up" because she said that men should, and she replied that she'd learn how to fight. She won't be able to fight a man. It doesn't work. Gender equality is a bullshit.

[Asker]

I was being sarcastic and I don’t know how serious that anon was but I think it was ridiculous to bictim blame. I have seen documentaries on real life cases of men in their 70s and 80s who survived abuse and still have burn marks and other forms of scarring. One man had a permanent dent in his shoulder blade from when his ex wife attacked him with a hammer. It’s such a terrible world that we live in!

[Barbaric]

I can't imagine a scenario where a woman would be able to do that kind of damage to me even with a hammer or another weapon. Again, it's like being attacked by a child.

Maybe she's the kind of psycho to come out of nowhere and attack from behind or something, in which case what's he doing with a psycho?

The main issue as I see it is the police not taking it seriously because of this bias, and they should take it seriously. That's where men get into shit. Because if the cops don't take it seriously the woman doesn't get punished at all if she does try this stuff. Which leaves the man with 2 other options:
1) defend himself
2) just take it and don't retaliate

If he defends himself, maybe he can get away with restraining her like in the video. That's usually the case when it's unarmed and I've had to do that a couple of times, no problem. Self-defense is all about justifiable force as it should be.

If a woman were to come at me with a hammer though I'd warn her to put it down, wait for her to swing, dodge the hammer, crack her on the chin, put her on her arse and take the hammer away. If it's a knife I'm gonna pick something up to keep distance between us e. g. a chair, and I'm gonna hit her with that as I would a guy with a knife.

That should be justifiable force, but with this bias they'll often assume that I was the aggressor anyway and I'd probably be the one to get locked up, not her. Which means that many men will choose option 2 and just take it. And then they stay? I don't get it.

[Eurybia2801]

I honestly have no clue and you bring up a great point! It's terrible that there's so much aknowledgement towards female domestic abuse and not male. I think it's because society has taught men to believe that they can't be abused by women because they're tough, which is absolutely wrong

[Apope16]

I've spoken to professionals. Its one of the fastest growing trends. Not discussing it is sexist. I had an ex threatened to punch me. " Nobbody will believe you because the police dont believe men."

Then she punched me. Pushed me. On the ground she kicked me. I was in fetal position. I covered my head. Then she came on top of me and started punching my face.

I never resisted.

She was white. I was black. No way did I want to be George Floyd when the police came.

It caused trauma. It was painful. De masculinity. That was the feel.

[themythos]

I'm sorry you experienced that. I wrote an essay about male victims for my senior year research paper. The teacher got upset when i wrote
about men instead of women and told me to focus on women.

Goes without saying noone should be a victim, but but people only care for female victims😒

[Apope16]

@themythos fuck that teacher. did you call her out on being so small minded? i hope you did for all abuse men.

[themythos]

Funny thing is its a male professor. I'm already working on more male focused studies for the next essay

[loveslongnails]

Memes are cute, FACTS are better. Your statement " It happens to men just as much as it happens to women" is simply NOT true. It happens slightly more than twice as often to women. This doesn't negate the seriousness of it happening to men, but let's be clear about the frequency. One in 9 is not a good number either, but one in 4 is much worse.

" 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, etc. "

For the full stats, go here: National Stats on Domestic Violence

[b5fan]

This statistic is cherry picking categories (Note there is no category listed for emotional abuse). There is a vested interest in keeping DV a gendered issue. In the US 2000 DV shelters accept women. 1 accepts men. Often they tell women that their teenage son can not stay in a shelter as well. The facts around DV for men are very hard to determine mostly because the stigma for a man reporting these crimes is severe and there are few advocates for men.

[loveslongnails]

@b5fan I agree with your point. Part of that stigma is that " a man shouldn't put up with that" and it's usually the man that has the "means" to do something about it. There are no stats on how often that's the case either. I find it odd though, that according to women, single men find it no problem to emotionally and mentally vacate a relationship when it simple suits them. Why wouldn't a married man when abuse or violence is involved? I suspect it's the same psychological reaction as in the reverse case?

[_no_one_]

It's not taken seriously and apparently its something funny for people.
A few days ago, i sent my girlfriend a newspaper clipping of a man who choked to death because of his wife's kinks. He died as he wasn't properly tied to the chair or whatever they were doing I don't know and my girlfriend laughed, she thought that i sent her a meme or something but i just wanted to see her reaction and i was utterly disappointed on how different would it have been if it was a girl would have died cuz a man was dom in bed.

[Mynameisbobby]

It's sad how a girl can get away with anything she wants to do to a boy like hitting him everyone thinks the boy deserves it and laugh at him. I always felt like I am less because I'm a boy. My mother let my sister do anything she wanted to me and she got all nice clothes I got goodwill clothes. She is 5 years older than me. Even in school a girl touches a boy It's no big deal but if a boy touches a girl they are ready to hang him. I don't think anyone should be touched if they don't want to be by anyone but girls get a free pass.

[Skankhunt]

Because women are more likely to be abused by their significant other in their relationship/marriage. However, that doesn't mean men doon't get abused by women, it's more common that women are the victims of domestic violence. This abus has a name, it's called battered women's syndrome (BWS), by Lenore Walker Ph. D. It's a subcategory of posttraumatic stress disorder, so this is very serious if you are a victim or deomestic abuse.

The reason why it's called battered women's syndrome is because women are more likely to experience domestic violence, but that doesn't mean men can't suffer from battered women's syndrome.

[Anonymous]

People are saying a lot of stuff basically excuses. Men are stronger then woman , so? What if she’s a fuckin body builder is that her fault? Even if it is guys will get in trouble or legally can get in trouble with the law for putting his hands on a woman. What if they are in a relationship and it’s so toxic but target still love them in a way cuz manipulation in stuff. Fuck the whole it happens to women more it happens to men as much as it happens to woman. I’ve seen guys getting harassed at school and gotten hit too but they don’t do nothing because they aren’t suppose too cuz then all the other people will start beating on the guy. Everyone I know had abuse or even been harassed. There’s millions of people shi happens.

[Opinion Owner]

Didn’t mean target lol. I was trynna do a quick summary of what I’m trynna say but like everyone personally experiences something. That doesn’t make them less cuz of their gender.

[RingOfFire]

The women injured in a domestic violence incident is almost 4 times as much as men.

1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner.

But you are right to point this out anyway.

The answer is that there is a political war on males. The Democrats want you to think that they are the root of all evil and demonize them so that you will hate them. That's how they get the female votes because a lot of women fall for this fake news. And 99.9% of the press and media is controlled by the Democrats. So anything that makes men look bad makes headlines and anything that doesn't fit or disputes that narrative is censored.

Welcome to a world controlled by the radical left.

[msc545]

Where exactly are you getting these statistics?

[Dweezil]

Just because as a percent men are abused less than women does not lessen the criminality of it.

[RingOfFire]

@msc545 ncadv.org/STATISTICS

[RingOfFire]

@Dweezil

Has anyone suggested that it does?

[RingOfFire]

And don't forget... the left reminds you that masculinity is "toxic."

[msc545]

That is an organization that makes its money by portraying women as victims while trashing men at the same time. I would not rely on those statistics. Why don't you take a look at the data from Cal State University Long Beach by dr. Martin fiebert instead. If you cannot find the data I'm talking about, then please DM me and I will give you a link.

[YHL6965]

Yes and add to that the fact that the abuser can just claim she did that in self-defense, most people will believe her and the man in question will be shamed, prosecuted for something he is a victim of. Modern society does not seem to care much about men, we seem to be seen as expandable, replaceable in many aspects like in dating, in jobs (especially dangerous ones).

I'm glad to see you care about such things though, it's nice that some people pay attention to us and our condition to an extent.

[TheUniqueOne96]

I think some people assume that it happens to women more, so they just ignore - I don't personally know any statistics.

There's also a bunch of man-hating women out there (I'm not saying all or most are, unlike some sexist dicks) who'll look for any excuse to make women look like the victim and will completely ignore men's issues to.

Ultimately, victims of domestic abuse should be taken seriously, regardless of gender and no one should be shamed for it.

[TheUniqueOne96]

And a man-hater proves my point. 😂

[TheUniqueOne96]

"Man up" no wonder some of the retarded man haters went anonymous. 🙄😂

[TheUniqueOne96]

I wonder if they'd say the same thing if women were the victims, just shows how strong people are with their hate.

[newboy78]

It is because violence against women was and is focused more, therefore violence against men have become insignificant.

Also the other thing is men don't talk about this or report it, as they think they would be ashamed, which i say its men's fault of think about their pride at that moment

Next is if would go out in society and say that I was abused by a woman, they wouldn't believe it. The mindset of the society is difficult to change

[Asker]

Yes it is the same when men get raped or sexually assaulted by women. That must change.

[newboy78]

Yes, but do you think it will change?

[chubbycrow]

most men are embarrassed
also some sexists
some men have self sexist/cuck fetishes leading to them justifying abuse
also many have the dumb old sexist "chivalry" opinion which has been thrown out the window, used to manipulate them, and more

[mayur1598]

Well...
Many people said many things...
So I don't want to add another comment about it...
But I'm glad someone is thinking about it... Specially a woman...
I'm proud of you!
Until now I didn't been through this situation and hope will not face in future...
But my condolences to those who suffered from it...

[lightbulb27]

, doesn't have the same emotional response. People see it as the man is strong and woman weaker. They think men should be able to take it, whether physical or emotional, else he isn't a man. Maybe that's true, but hurts none the less no matter who it is unless they are a cold hardened stone. The more they feel the worse it can be.

there are differences between sexes.

[Miristheiss]

Because a man would have to choose to be abused. He has to let it happen.
He could kill her with his bare hands if he chose.
If a man doesn't want to be abused he has the power to overpower her and stop any abuse she'd try. A woman does not. If a bigger, stronger man decides he is going to hurt her and do something physically to her... most times she cannot do anything except be hurt.