Is having children in this day and age a selfish act?

[AlphaRuler]

Looking at the current state of the world—economic instability, social decline, and the overall chaos—I’ve been thinking about the true motives behind having kids.

When I look around, it seems like most people aren't having children because they truly want to give a new soul a great life. Instead, it feels like they’re doing it to fill their own emotional voids, to chase a societal 'ideal' of a family, or just to have a 'mini-me' to carry on their legacy.

Do you think bringing a child into this world today is a selfless act of love, or is it just a masked form of egoism? Is it truly ethical to bring a new life into this environment when so many of us are struggling to navigate it ourselves?

I'm curious to hear your take on this.

[Levin]

I think this question is a bit deep for Gag.

And the human being is a mix of egoism and some deeper aspect. So in reality, it's probably a mixture of both.

My own sense, is that children are joyous little things. I'd love to have my own little girl. There is also some selfishness but also a lot of selflessness. A lot of appreciation of the beauty of little moments together.

And yes, we are in a period of disintegration. But actually, everything is not bad. It's just a question of focus. We have to remember that everything is in a state of flux and change. It's like that quote 'good times create weak men' circle. Bad times create strong men, and then good times. So good times come, and good times go, to quote the Social Distortion song, haha.

I do also note, that our third world cousins don't seem to have any qualms in repopulating and replacing our populations. So we have to think what kind of legacy we're leaving by not having children and also, by the same token, what kind of society they're being birthed into where we have parallel societies and problems stored up for the future.

[Anonymous]

Phrasing it as "fill emotional voids" sounds incorrect for two reasons.

• Children should be dumping grounds for our overabundance of health and emotions. Not a source of emotions for us to suck on.
• Some people are chronically stuck in a "tend and befriend" stress response, if it is trauma driven then eventually after befriending everyone, they seek children whom they can mold into a befriend-tend-punching bags. Unconsciously.

I also just learned the exact term in psychology for what seemed observable but confusing --- the "tend and befriend". I couldn't wrap my head around why women would enter "mother mode" and talk in a very very sweet way and yet deny willingly trying to be my unpaid therapist. They weren't trying to, but the sweetest words you will ever hear is from a woman who is afraid of you.

[There_Is_Rehab]

I second this. That woman was actually super afraid of the shit i hated doing. So she responded warmly to it out of "tend and befriend". I thought it means she likes it and doubled down doing it even though i myself hate it.

[Opinion Owner]

I know that at this point nobody believes me, but i really have about 98% unfooked myself. I had this for the past 10 years:



These men had it and became experts in treating it. Except I had/have it in the opposite direction. And it goes completely against the grain, over 99% of humans have it in one direction because the liver and diaphragm and right lung make the right side heavier, and other reasons. I defied it all and got stuck on the left. All organs are normal. No injuries. It was from psychological trauma, a monster always being on the right side so I sought safety on the left. So yes I unfooked myself very good today another notch because now for the 2 hours since, I have been getting a whole body "pins and needles" feeling that proves the nervous system is switching off my chronically activated stress responses that made me a conspiritard and so on.

[Opinion Owner]

Do you think, until we admit "i was a junkie" and face horrors, everyone has anxiety disorders but only severely traumatized people can get diagnosed? ↗

[Opinion Owner]

I might call myself "holy trolling"

Poking people's anxieties out while trying to "heal the sick..."

[Opinion Owner]

@alpharuler can you inject code to make your next questions be asked on this topic? https://www.girlsaskguys.com/non-alpha-behavior

[choco-latte]

When has it ever not been selfless then? Believe it or not the world used to be a much worser and cruel place a few centuries ago.

[choco-latte]

Selfish*

[AlphaRuler]

Now it's a worse place.
Humanity was better off in the past, even without technological advancements.

[choco-latte]

No it really isn’t. Slavery was legal and normalized in society, executions were gruesome and sometimes unfair (witch trials for example), people with power had the legal right to do whatever they want - still exists but reduced compared to the past, if you were born poor much higher likelihood that you couldn’t do anything to improve your life, widespread diseases that almost wiped out entire continents etc etc etc.

[AlphaRuler]

I don't deny the historical facts and developments you mentioned; yes, our physical conditions (health, law, comfort) are definitely better. However, my concern isn't about our 'standards,' but about the 'direction of human nature.' As far as I can observe, evil is only changing form. Evils that were once perpetrated with brute force have become more refined, more planned, and more psychological today. I feel like people are becoming more selfish, more mechanical, and more insensitive to each other every year. If this momentum of 'development' is only turning us into more sophisticated evildoers, I have serious doubts about where this world is evolving. Therefore, I see bringing a child into this 'refined evil' and expecting them to cope with this chaos as a burden, not a gift. Do you think this cycle of evil can really be broken, or are we heading towards an inevitable end? My opinion is that today's evildoers are an advanced variation of the old ones.

[strateguy632]

if that were the reason, then now economic is the time to have kids. trump changed tax amounts to help low earners as i pointed out last week. toyato is expanding its texas plant instead of cheap mexican labor. why would they do that? trump policy and incentives to bring jobs to u. s. a.

sure a child brings parents joy! but the giving to the child makes it very very unselfish.

[exitseven]

We are truly in a great time in history. Advances in Technology, culture and medicine will ensure a bright future

[fishbone77]

There's nothing selfish about devoting your time, energy and resources into the next generation.

[canamlusciouslad73]

No, but I wouldn't were I young today.

[AlphaRuler]

Are you 73 years old?

[canamlusciouslad73]

Yep.