Don't you girls think it is unfair?

[ssunny1217]

its easier for women to pick up guys than vice versa. I mean yeah it is debatable what 'easy' means and the conversation gets stirred up with the introduction of 'my type' and 'my standards', in general girls have it easier when it comes to getting laid or dates if they are not overweight or disfigured. If the same kind of guy goes out and finds women his stats won't be nearly as good as his female counterpart.

This was evident in a recent escapade with a female friend of mine where we saw how many dates/ numbers/ partners we could get in a weekend outing. The results were depressing for me when compared to her, so I guess the question is if you think it is a little unfair or you never thought anything of it

[Anonymous]

The thing is, if you're a girl and you have sex with a lot of people, many guys won't want to be in a relationship with you (they'll only have sex with you). You're viewed as easy or slutty, and it hurts your reputation. No girl wants that label. Sure it's easier to get laid, but at what cost?

There's no boundary like that for guys, and so guys are generally "easier" (plus they want sex more). I mean, not many guys will turn down an offer for sex from a fairly attractive girl, but there are many girls who will turn down an offer for sex from a fairly attractive guy. It's not to do with a type or standards, the guy might definitely be a guy they'd have sex with, but they want a relationship with him, not just sex, and a lot of guys will rule you out as "girlfriend material" if you have sex with them too soon.

In dating, yes I think it's pretty unfair. I try to even it out in my personal interactions with guys, but many girls don't. However, there are still a good amount of us who will initiate, ask guys out, go dutch, not expect more than we will give, etc. Hopefully you'll find us, or we'll find you haha. :)

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

The double standard exist due to male psychology; men cannot 100% tell who their children are, but a women 100% knows when a kid is hers. Men don't want to expend resources raising a child that isn't his, because it means his genetic material failed to pass on - a.k.a - pointless because in raising that kid. A woman's sexuality scares the sh*t out of men for that very reason.

It's a deeply ingrained hard wiring in men so that's why this stigma exist...

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

" Men gaurd a woman's sex; Women gaurd a man's heart."

It's just how nature works. You can call it unfair, but then it'd be unfair that men are held to the expectations to always be stoic, strong, protective, etc ect - because women have a deep ingrained hard wiring to want the best suited fathers in a mate - and men are also actively in harsher competition with each other over women.

Women are judged for sex - men are judged for status.

Unfair? Nah - it's pretty balanced.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand why the double standard exists, and where it came from, but that doesn't make adhering to it rational or acceptable in today's society. Many men and women don't even want kids (so I question "deeply ingrained"), and we have methods of protection to protect against unwanted pregnancy, as well as genetic fingerprinting and blood typing makes it very easy to determine paternity. Regardless, it's not okay to slutshame because a person can't handle that women are sexual beings.

[Opinion Owner]

You can call it nature if you want, but that's just something to hide behind in my opinon. It's definitely unfair that men are held to expectations of being stoic, strong, and protective, just like it's unfair that women need to be weak, passive, and emotional. It's unfair overall that each gender is placed in a box, and that we've been conditioned to not accept anything outside of it.

[Opinion Owner]

We're human beings and capable of reason. I'm not judging a man's status and only dating guys who do this or do that (I have no need to, there are things more important for me to judge), and any guy I'm with shouldn't judge sex I might have (it has no bearing on my loyalty, and if he has any sense that will be apparent).

If I come across beliefs that are irrational and equally unfair to two parties, I don't call it even and say "well that's life, at least it's balanced".

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

It's become unfair because society adjusted it more for female favor.

Women get the pick - but men are suppose to get the hints.

Society however, has trained us that women are not suppose to hint, but still get to pick.

This makes dating a lot more tougher for guys.

Men are raised how to treat a lady - women are not raised on how to treat a man.

a lot of women assume that for being a housewife - but not at all.

Girls have no game and men are expected to have all the game.

Pretty bias no?

But as far as women having more guys to select from guys - that's nature

[MrNameless]

lol.. Girls don't have game? Girls IMO, are naturally better flirts than guys.. And when they have lines of guys waiting for them, without even trying, other than looking decent--that shows she has "game," to me.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Not really. Throw a bunch of modern girls into a room with a bunch of guys they think are attractive - and watch who makes the first moves, and executes them well - it will largely be the men.

A lot of girls...have no game.

[ssunny1217]

MrNameless sorry but I don't agree. The times me (or my friends) were approached by women there entry lines were extremely bad. This one time we even tried our female friends to approach some guys we knew and to this day we make fun of them for what they said. Men are WAYYYYY better than women when it comes to game. Women never even have a chance to spit game, because guys don't want their lips moving, just their hips (came up with this one on the spot lol)

[moloz]

Lol. You nailed it "women are not raised on how to treat a man".

This is a big problem, in my honest opinion.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Most definitely - I relate more with guys so I've grown up surrounded by them for a lot of my life. Being in that male dominated environment, certain things started to rub off on me - like the guys would talk about picking up girls a lot, so naturally I wanted to relate. So in a way, they taught me how to be bold and mac on guys lol :P

I've gotten pretty good at it to a point where it's not failed me once to get close to a guy that I like.

That's why I don't get why girls these days -

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

complain about not getting male attention - um - women are suppose to engage men first. That's the law of nature - and when you work against nature by saying so and so is only supoose to do 100% of something ( guys) and disrupt that natural courtship balance, is why dating is so f***ed these days lol

@moloz

It definitely is. My brother was taught how to do this and that to make for a good husband - I was like all the other girls getting bombarded with anti - male messages

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

and how cleaning, cooking, and child raising is the most horrible thing women could ever do - and as a woman if you do them - your just a slave to your man, and degrade modern women?

WTF right?

If my man is going to uphold his responsibilites as a man and my lover - I have no problem making sure he eats every night and has a clean place to sleep.

It's the f***ing least a woman can do lol geeze...

[hunibee]

Well...if you find it unfair then you have no one to blame but your male friends for being so easy! LOL

[ssunny1217]

haha good observation

[yopyopyop]

It's not unfair. A rainy day isn't unfair, that's just how it is ;)

More seriously, I think women should be a bit more open, women are choosing between guys who come to them, which excludes those who don't come to them because their are too shy or not daring enough, and could arguably be as good if not better partners in the long term.

It's might be nature, but nature doesn't always makes the best decisions. It's just context-related.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Women aren't holding up their full end of the deal as far as courtship. Your totally right about women not waiting around for men to come up to them. I bet every girl has a natural attraction to a guy who will not approach her - meaning biologically, they are compatible in that attraction.

Women are suppose to engage the men first - and men approach once they get that signal.

I was curious as to why girls always wanted to know how to get a man's attention - and men these days -

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

were struggling to approach because they weren't sure the female was interested or not. I believe it's very instinctive for a man to expect clear cues from a woman that she's ready for courtship - in nature, if a female isn't fertile, it lowers the chance of him spreading genetic material, and also leaves them vulnerable to predators - so naturally, it'd make sense that men would seek out those cues before approaching - we aren't primitive anymore, but those instincts are still there

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

So in society, it's been severely adjusted that men have to do everything in courtship - which disturbs the 50 /50 balance of women engaging the male / approach, and the male approaching / courting the girl.

Today it's like 10% on the girls part ( just look pretty,) and 90% on teh guys part - do everything else.

Pretty unfair. So I don't blame men who complain about this.

Humans need to quit screwing with nature because we're too lazy to do what we're suppose to lol

[yopyopyop]

Good points raised! But my point was more about the fair/unfair approach. Since it's how it's working, unconsciously, for everybody, it's just factual.

[ladsin]

It's because they invest more in having sex thus they can be choosers it happens all throughout the animal kingdom

[NothingGoldCanStay]

It is not unfair and it is not hard to get women. You just have to decipher them. They want someone that will make them feel special and unique and make her feel like a princess. They also want a guy with a personality and that makes a good impression around other women (like he is a catch). Watch some romantic movies. Sex and the City is great for getting what these chicks want. If you can have this insight you can have your pick of women.

[Anonymous]

It's simple biology, that's how we are. And it's complemented by social stigmas. When they're at their prime they can't even enjoy the ride anyway. Only when they lose it they start caring. It's god's joke or something. Also, they lose their looks easier with age, have periods, and are physically weaker, and who wants that?

[Anonymous]

What does fairness have to do with it?

What do you want to change? It's just biology. It's not our fault men are hornier and less picky about who they bang, you guys are free to set higher standards for yourselves anytime you want.

[ihatetakingcharge]

yeah it's still even unfair even when we guys are looking for an actual relationship, dating, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, not just sex only, that we guys have to be the one to initiate, because some of guys just don't know what to say

[Moloch]

That's just the way it is, women are the choosers. Get over it.

[ssunny1217]

lol, women couldn't vote or make the same amount of money, why did we have to intervene to make things right, instead of 'getting over it'?

[Moloch]

No idea but women are now seeing the consequences of having more rights.

[MrNameless]

Women choosing men, has nothing to do with women getting more rights. Women had guys coming on to them for ages. It's a combination of biology, and social stigma.

I do think that more women should go for guys they are interested, instead of waiting for guys...

[Moloch]

Women now more than ever, feel masculine and we're starting to see what the effects of having more rights does to gender roles. A lot of the questions here for example wouldn't even exist, because we would already know ”that's the man's job” or ” that's the woman's job.” 60 years ago everyone knew who did the approaching because laws were in favor of how gender roles worked. Take that away and you have a lot of confused people.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Women are the choosers - but we're also the initiators - or rather, suppose to be.

I think with the flux in society from strict male domination, to the approaching strict female domination era well on it's way - women have become more dictative of what men are suppose to do - and it's become bad if a man dares to speak out on what women are suppose to do - do to all this anti - male stuff.

Makes no sense men should be having this much trouble getting female attention -

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

It's very similar to how men demanded women stay home and not have educations - women demand men approach, take care of them, work, raise the kids, and don't give their wife any sh*t about it or they're a douche bag / lousy husband.

-_- not very fair eh?

The change in rights wouldn't be an issue if female ego wasn't taking over everything. I mean, I think it's pretty sad that I've heard so many guys say they wish they we're women because sh*t is so out of whack -

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Or have an incredibly terrible time finding good gf's and wives because society dictates it's okay for a woman to sleep around and not be a whore - and not be expected to treat a man in the way men are expected to treat a woman.

Total BS.

Our choosing power isn't going to change - why should it? It's not interrupting our fitness, so evolution has no reason to rid of it. However, it is a woman's duty in courtship to initiate the approach of a male. In society today - women are told not to

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

which f***s with the natural balance of that human phenomenon of courtship.

I gurantee all the guys who complain about approaching and women being the pickers and unfairness - wouldnt' complain half as much if girls actually stepped up to our responsibilities in attracting and keeping a mate.

[cuteLiLbunny]

yeah it kinda is, I'm sorry :(

[moviedude714]

yeah I hate it but oh well