Guys have to try a whole lot harder in the dating world than women?

[Kain6th]

Agree or disagree with this statement and why? ******************

Agree Guys really do have to try much harder in the dating world than women

Disagree It's about equal for both men and women

Disagree Girls have it harder than men in the dating world

Updates

+1 y

What does everyone think of Guysensei's answer? he offers a counter point

[moviedude714]

I still think girls have it easier, and probably always will, but this is what a lot of people say, I hate when they say it but they do make sense when they say it. This is how I see it, the dating/relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend scene, world, game, is designed, rigged for guys to lose, but that does not mean it will stay that way for guys, basically, girls have it easier from day one because they do not have to do the approaching, talking, overall, they do not have to initiate any form of contact, so that means girls do not have to say or do anything to attract a guy, because in any situation in life, when you have to do something about it in order to change something or get something, you obviously can accidentaly make a mistake, error, yes mistakes are a part of life, but we try to avoid them, it's easier to get something without doing anything than it is doing something, because when you are doing something about it, you can accidentally make a wrong, negative impression, say or talk about something stupid, dumb, overall, do something accidentally, unintentionally that makes you get denied of what you want, whether it is a date, a job, you can lose a game in sports. When I said I hate how people say it is easier for guys, because we guys get to be pro-active in going after what we want, meanwhile girls have to wait, and they have to put up with guys they see a losers, creepers, guys they are not into, meanwhile the person doing the approaching, pursuing, means they are going after what they want.

The only way the dating/relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend world, scene, can become easier for guys, is if guys master, develop the "game", confidence, attitude, mindset, social-skills, conversation-skills, etc. Obviously this is a lot of work, very hard work, so basically, girls have it easier without having to do anything or change anything, but if we guys want to make it easier for ourselves, we have to change, do something about it, which is frustrating but oh well it is what it is, like this is what one guy said, although I hate, despise, loathe it, I have no choice but to adapt, deal with it:

"Despite advances in equality for men and women, which has greatly empowered women in our society, the social norm, status quo, has always been, and probably always will be, that it’s the man’s responsibility to make the first approach and initiate contact. In my opinion, not only is this how it should be, but that men should be jumping for joy that it is. While this “women approaching men” concept may seem like a no-brainer to those guys who are scared to death to approach anything female, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Yes there is pressure on us guys who are expected to make the first move, but women don’t have it so great either." it continues in my comments

[moviedude714]

"Women?s social options are basically restricted to fending off every would-be player, jerk, loser, obnoxious drunk, and sex-starved scumbag within the radius of some inadvertent eye contact while she waits around for that ONE guy who may have an ounce of substance to him" Yeah but still, girls get to have the final say, they have Veto Power, as in all they have to do is say Yes or No

[moviedude714]

then the guy says "In contrast, the social options for guys are unlimited. We have the green light to approach ANY WOMAN ANYWHERE who we find the least bit desirable or interesting with virtually no limits or restrictions imposed and no social stigma or judgment attached. Why any guy in the world would you want to give up this gift from the universe is beyond me." I get what that dude is saying who wrote that, it makes sense, but that does not mean I have to like it, I still hate it

[moviedude714]

"What these guys need to do is educate themselves in the art of attraction and learn what it is that women respond to in a positive way. Once they learn this, they can slowly and carefully begin wading back in to the approaching, dating, and relationship waters by trying out different approaches and techniques to see what works best for them and their own unique personality."

[moviedude714]

"Only when they start getting a positive response from women and their confidence begins to return will they then see the tremendous value, and privilege, of being free to approach any woman anywhere without having to stand on the sidelines waiting around for someone they like to approach them." So basically, if we guys want to make it easier for us, we have a lot of work to do on ourselves, but girls, they don't have to work on themselves, I still get jealous, envious of women, girls

[moviedude714]

basically, we guys have to work on ourselves, improve ourselves a whole lot more than girls do in order to make ourselves dating, relationship material

[Hades]

BA.

[andre251]

run on sentence much? This is very hard to read...

Anywho, I have always believed that WOMEN are actually doing the choosing.

If men were doing the choosing, we would ALWAYS get the women we approach. Where as, women ACTUALLY choose the guy, yes based on who approaches them, but they STILL do the actual choosing.

Men really just get to come up to women and get rejected multiple times.

Women can also essentially "choose" how many men come up to them by how approachable they make themselves.

[moviedude714]

yeah like I say, women have the final say

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Agreed on the most part. Actually, there's just one thing I don't agree with - women do have to do something. They have to "take care of themselves". Of course, this doesn't really change your point, because taking care of yourself and making sure you're attractive is A LOT EASIER than changing your entire personality and figuring out what to do and say in order to make the opposite gender become attracted to you.

[Moloch]

So do we. "Taking care of yourself" is mandatory for all people, regardless of gender.

[moviedude714]

@TimeAndTimeAgain, yes, that is exactly what I'm saying, taking care of yourself and making sure you are attractive is way easier than changing your personality, attitude, mindset, social-skills, conversation-skills, know what to say and when to say it, how to say it

[moviedude714]

so the dating/relationship scene, game, is rigged, designed for guys to lose, but it is designed for girls to win, but like I explain, we guys can turn the tables, and re-rig it, redesign it, in order for us to win, but for girls they have it in their favor from day one

[giffondh]

best answer by far!

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Just because guys are expected to initiate and make the first move, does not mean they have it harder. Women have it just as hard - if not harder - then men do.

First of all, let's be clear about something. Men are a lot more visual than women. Looks matter a lot. When a guy approaches a woman, it's almost ALWAYS because he found her attractive. Count how many attractive girls you come across in one single day - IT'S A LOT! And that's A LOT of women you'd be interested in going on a date with, if you just had the nerve to ask them. Girls, you aren't able to count, but just know that it's A LOT.

However, for girls, it's different. They're not as visual as guys are. Not only do physically attractive guys have a MUCH lesser effect on women, but they're also A LOT harder for women to find. WHY?! Because women have HIGH STANDARDS! And it's because of this that guys are often mistaken for being shallow. When in fact, we're not shallow - we're just more visual, and we usually don't have very high standards.

Not only that, but for women, the personality part of the guy matters A LOT MORE. This is why physically unattractive guys can score girls, and why you see a lot of good-looking guys without girlfriends. If a girl's not attracted to your personality, it doesn't matter how hot you are.

And that's the catch - you can't "see" someone's personality, so she isn't going to know if she's TRULY attracted to you, until she gets to know you.

Because girls are unable to figure this out, they have a MUCH harder time finding someone they really like. Some of them lower their standards, or settle, depending on how desperate they are.

It's this reason that makes the fact that they get hit on all the time, completely irrelevant. Even if she's that most beautiful girl you have ever seen, that EVERY single guy looks at, and gets hit on 20 times a day, it's not going to matter. Because the truth is some girls simply have a hard time finding a guy they're attracted to. I've known girls who finished college without EVER - in their ENTIRE lives - feeling like having sex with ANYONE! That should tell you something. It should tell you looks by itself means JACK SHIT, and that personality is a HUGE thing for girls.

If you want to understand what it's like for girls, try this - imagine you're blind, and tons of girls keep asking if you want to have sex with them. This should give you a good idea of just how "easy" girls REALLY have it.

[MikeK]

Interesting viewpoint but it still doesn't change the facts...

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

I'm not trying to change the facts. I'm explaining them.

Fact: for guys, looks matter more than personality

Fact: for girls, personality matters A LOT MORE than personality

Fact: personality matters a lot more for girls, than looks matter for guys

Fact: because of the above facts, women have a MUCH harder time becoming attracted to the opposite gender

Fact: because of the above facts, guys see a lot more potential dating partners than women do

This not only explains why guys almost always have to

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

make the first move, but also why they get rejected a lot of the times. The only guys who don't get rejected on a regular basis, are guys who know very well how to fake their personality in order to attract girls, or guys who have key elements of things that girls are attracted to (won't bother explaining what those are, especially because it varies from girl to girl).

[Moloch]

What I got from your post is that women have a hard time in the dating world because they make it harder for themselves.

“Even if she's that most beautiful girl you have ever seen, that EVERY single guy looks at, and gets hit on 20 times a day, it's not going to matter. Because the truth is some girls simply have a hard time finding a guy they're attracted to.” That's their own fault fur being picky, if they weren't so picky, they could go out with all 20 men.

[andre251]

I was lost at the part how hot guys don't have it easier. Have you ever BEEN with a group of like 3-4 girls talking about a hot guy?

The way girls talk about hot guys..is ...just amazing. Very dirty talk is all I will say.

Girls let hot guys say ANYTHING and they will go out with them.

Having them be their boyfriend is a different thing.

Girls choose very quickly whether they are interested in you. Looks matter most, unless the guy is very funny, very good at flirting or beyond great persnality

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

@Moloch: In a way, we make it harder for ourselves too, by only going after certain good-looking girls. If we went for the not-so-good-looking ones, we'd have an easier time getting accepted. Sadly, it doesn't work like that. Just like how for girls, you can't expect them to be less picky.

@andre: It really depends on the girl, in the same way that there are some girls who DO like JUST having sex with a guy. I'm still figuring it out, I think the difference is between virgins and non-virgins.

[Leamonade]

I love you TimeAndTimeAgain.

[ihatetakingcharge]

most of the hot, cute, pretty, good-looking girls have a hot, handsome, good-looking boyfriend from what I've observed

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

I don't get why you're saying this. I didn't say good-looking girls aren't capable of having good-looking boyfriends. What I was implying was that just being good-looking isn't enough when it comes to making girls sexually attracted to you. She needs to know what you're like, before she is REALLY attracted to you.

[ihatetakingcharge]

true, but you said physically unattractive guys can score girls, I have not seen that happen, as in score with good-looking girls, better looking than the guy

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Wow really? :o I've seen plenty of unattractive guys with really hot girls. o.o I mean, they're not completely awful and stuff, but I could tell those girls could do better. Personality does get you a long way with girls, regardless of the way you look. :o

[ihatetakingcharge]

you sure? maybe I just have not witnessed enough couples, the hot, cute, pretty-girls, generally have a hot, attractive boyfriend, so yeah, maybe I just have not noticed enough

[ihatetakingcharge]

so you think guys have it easier than girls?

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Easier in some aspects, harder in others. You can't compare the two, because they're different approaches. Women want different things than guys. For example, if you ask a lot of teenage boys if they think being a girl is better, they're likely to say yes, because they'll say girls can have sex whenever they want. However, they don't bother to think about why they don't do this. It's because girls are different, want different things.

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Imagine you're a guy who is very attractive. All women want to be with you! Like practically every single girl you talk to wants to go out with you. However, for some reason, you don't seem particularly interested in any of them. And you don't know why that is. So you care little about the fact that so many of them want you. You don't feel like sleeping with any of them, because you're not really attracted to any of them. Can you imagine that? Because that's how some girls feel.

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

When you take that into account, you have to wonder if that's easier than what it's like for us, who see a lot of women we'd gladly consider dating, even though we're not sure they'll end up being the right one for us. Yes, we actually have to try... but that's because we get to know what we want. Women, on the other hand, don't know what they want. At least most don't. They haven't got the faintest idea, and some go a great deal of their early years without feeling attracted to other men. Sad..

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

If you want to know if guys have it easier or harder than girls, you just have to ask this: what would you rather have - being able to tell who you're attracted to, and then having to go after it, OR... being unable to know if you're truly attracted to someone, until they come up to you (which they might not do) and show you what they're really like? Personally, I don't think you can compare. Obviously, not all women are like this, but likewise not all guys have a hard time in the dating world.

[Anonymous]

The outcome of this poll was so entertaining to see. Of course, more guys agree that guys have it harder in the dating world than girls.

Personally? Let me ask this one question first: Do you see more men or women single (not married)? In my area, I see significantly more women single, never been married (hence the phenomenon of the Crazy Cat Lady) . I don't know if that tells you that women have it harder in the dating scene or not, but it does tell me that more men get married than women. So the men are doing something right. I could be wrong, but this is something to think about.

Another thing, have you actually sat down with a female friend and watched her get ready for a date? To some girls, it's a full day of planning finding the right outfit for the night gala. Ridiculous? Yes. Necessary? Depends. And on top of that, the girl has to retain all of her crazy personality traits so they don't scare off the guy on the first date. It might turn out a cute trait eventually, but a little bit of too much crazy can be overwhelming to the guy.

Finally, my answer to the poll is girls and guys equally have it difficult. I acknowledge that men have to have a little bit (but by the sounds of it, you need A LOT) of courage to ask the girl out, open the door for them, pay for the dinner/lunch/brunch/whatever, get a hair cut before the date, etc. I just don't believe that girls have to 'sit back and wait.'

[Kain6th]

around my area I have definitely seen more girls being in relationships than guys.

[Hades]

There are more women than men in every demographic, so that's inconclusive.

Guys have to reserve a lot of their less desirable traits on dates, too, so that the woman won't flee. And also be expected to pursue the woman for the date and pay for it.

[geronimojoesaephus]

That's probably because more girls than guys are going to panic about being single or worry about being 'forever alone.' I'm positive that there are more single guys than you think.

[andre251]

In my area there are WAAAYYYY more single guys. And many pretty darn attractive single guys at that!

To the second paragraph..I hope not all women are hiding their personality in order to appear cuter.

Girls do have to sit back and wait, but I imagine it is the same girls who spend less time sitting back and waiting.

[moviedude714]

not only do we guys have to ask you girls out, we have to approach you first, make the first move and all the other moves during the getting to know each other phrase, conversations, flirting, etc.

[ihatetakingcharge]

what do you mean girls don't have to just sit back and wait? that's all you girls do

[LJHam]

Define by what you mean exactly by "try". Try as in get up the nerve to approach a woman and talk to her, ask her out? While I see that act does require a bit of courage, I believe men put too much weight into the approach/ask thing.

I happen to be a woman who has tried crossing gender boundaries and have approached men often in the past. Some weren't receptive, some were. Those who were ended up rejecting me in the long run because they took me for granted and didn't appreciate me. And why did they take me for granted? Because they didn't have to work for me, I took the pressure off by approaching them. In their eyes, it was cute at first, me making it so easy for them. But the honest to God truth is men ARE the hunters dating back to cavemen days. If they don't pursue their kill (so to speak), then the thrill is not really there for them. So, now my approaching days are over. But having done it myself I can truthfully say, making an approach is so easy. Just get over the fear of her saying she's not interested. It won't kill you.

[moniquinha]

This should have gotten best answer. ^

[Kain6th]

why moniquinha?

[andre251]

LJHam,

the best way I can describe the approach is like this.

Imagine going to swimming pool and being a decent swimmer. You have to LOOK at the high dive, and then APPROACH the high dive. All of that is even before you even JUMP. That build up or "approach" is a big deal and very nerve racking.

Now, when you become an even better swimmer, the high diving boards just get higher and higher. The build up to the jump and the approach is still very "Scary" and exhilarating at the same time

[andre251]

Now, a girl approaching a guy is a different thing. The big question is, is the girl who is approaching someone the GUY would approach themselves? Many times, just like when a guy who is lower quality approaches a high quality girl, a girl can approach the guy in the same way. A guy can look at it as an easy lay OR he can look at it as, thank goodness! It is in the quality of the character of the guy whether he abuses the situation or not. This again, as I said depends on whether the guy...

[andre251]

...initially interested!

Men ARE hunters! The problem is, when we HUNT and kill a deer, we eat it and enjoy our spoils.

Whereas, when we approach a girl, sometimes, no matter how good our hunting/gathering skills are, we aren't guaranteed a "kill".

We do enjoy the thrill, and exhilaration in it, but as I said, it matters MORE how much we actually like the girl!

If the super hot girl I saw that one time approached me, it would be different then the sort of cute girl I saw that one time.

[andre251]

Sorry for all the long post..

I used a car dealer analogy with my response, and to reply to your final comment, I will use it again.

If you walk to a car lot where they are selling cars, and go to one car immediately and show OBVIOUS interest...the dealer WILL most likely take advantage of you. Because the dealer is a hunter.

You showing obvious interest and intent to buy a car is OBVIOUSLY 100 times easier then the dealer trying to push it on you! Your position in the deal matters!

[Kain6th]

Why should this be best answer when others even other women clearly disagree with this?

[uber069]

ok that's just pathetic lady - why does a man have to "work for you" are you a whore? An employer? It is the typical "men give, women take attitude" and that is why you are alone. Men don't have to EARN a woman, that is called prostitution, Gawd and women wonder why men want to treat them like whores. STOP ACTING LIKE A WHORE AND MEN WILL STOP TREATING YOU AS SUCH. Men these days know that women are like walking through a minefield - one mis-step and BOOM there goes your leg.

[Moloch]

“If they don't pursue their kill (so to speak), then the thrill is not really there for them.” Not true, especially for the shy men out there.

[Kain6th]

Exactly how many guys have you approached before you gave up BTW?

[Hades]

Stereotypes everywhere. Such nonsense.

[moniquinha]

This deserves best answer because it's the truth. Men are by instinct, the hunters, the approachers. It's in your nature. It's in our nature, as women, to be pursued. It's not a stereotype. It's biological, okay?. Once I realized that, I found a man that truly appreciated me. You can deny it all you want, but life and experience teaches you otherwise. Can natural tendencies be transcended? Sure, but you have to have one hell of a progressive mind. Still extraordinarily rare, in my opinion.

[Kain6th]

umm no moniquinha. I strongly disagree with you. Provide a source that says this is biological

[livi23]

I'd agree. It seems like guys pay for everything, they do the asking out, and they give the most gifts to keep a girl happy. Girls give some gifts, ask out a guy sometimes, and don't really pay for much because the guy is paying... And guys have to be at their best for a girl to want them. If a girl has t*ts and a vagina, guys will ask her out just for that. A guy has to have intelligence, good looks, and a good personality to get asked out by a girl. Girls have higher standards and expect more. So I'd say guys have it harder.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

thank you for acknowledging the hard knocks of a male :D

[SandyLychee]

ok so guys give gifts and pay for everything (well I never let a guy for everything but that's another story..). but girls give waaay more money for all the beauty products to look good for guy, manicure and pedicure, going for a brazilian wax once a month, sexy lingerie or just the hours you spend in the bathroom preparing for a date. I don't know a guy who would spend as much money or time on these things... guy's gifts and money for drinks, dinner = girl's money for looking her best for him

[Moloch]

So we pay for you to look good? Doesn't sound like an even trade to me, you still get gifts = tangible. At the end of the day, all we're really paying for is the sex we're getting in the relationship. Has nothing to do with you looking good or not. We want to make sure our partner stays around, so we are definitely willing to buy them gifts to keep them around.

[livi23]

Just expressing my opinion. Think what you want.

[MikeK]

That's BS - how many times do you hear a woman say "I don't care how I look for him - I dress for myself"?

[livi23]

I'm saying girls don't even have to try, all they need is a pair of boobs and a vagina to get a guy. I have seen some of the most vulgar girls with the most respectful of men, so that's my reasoning. You don't have to agree with it.

[Kain6th]

I think we are all arguing with lychees answer

[livi23]

Pffft I give up. If you don't agree with me then you can rant all you want but it's not going to change my mind. And the up votes my answer has gotten out weigh the down votes, so I'd say most people agree with me.

[Kain6th]

I do agree with you. did you not read what I just said? its lychee v down there we're arguing with not you.

[livi23]

that's... that's what I was talking about... *sigh* I give up. :[

[Kain6th]

then put @SandyLychee next time lol

[livi23]

don't you put words in my mouth!

^sarcasm. :)

[FutureChad94]

Thank fuck, someone who isn't a idiot and can think for themselves. Any man who struggles with dating should just face facts: looks, money, status are everything. It is VERY hard to nearly impossible to get anything without it.

I won't be bothering until I'm a Chad, and have some unfinished business tended to. I won't be maximizing my lms to get models, I'll be doing it because it'll aid me in my goals.

[andre251]

It is always more difficult for men.

I have always believed that WOMEN are actually doing the choosing.

If men were doing the choosing, we would ALWAYS get the women we approach. Where as, women ACTUALLY choose the guy, yes based on who approaches them, but they STILL do the actual choosing.

Men really just get to come up to women and get rejected multiple times.

Women can also essentially "choose" how many men come up to them by how approachable they make themselves.

So Women make themselves approachable, and then choose who they want from the lot.

I imagine, in most cases, if a women is too high quality for a guy, not too many of those guys will come up to them.

Lets put it this way. If I go to a car dealer, just because the dealer comes up to me while I am looking at a car, it does not mean that I HAVE TO BUY A CAR. I decide if and when I will buy a car! Even though there is some small attraction, due to the car, that doesn't mean that the dealer has won, and gets sale.

Me being the buyer is ACTUALLY CHOOSING. The dealer, the "approacher" is never actually choosing!

Where as, yes if the dealer has the great social skills, and the know how and can "sell his product", in this case a car, or in a guys case, selling himself for a date, then the approacher can win.

But, honestly, and always, the one who CHOOSES has it easiest.

Can ANYBODY ever tell me the car dealer ever has the advantage?

Nope, never!

So therefore, the women, in the same light, doing the choosing, ALWAYS HAS THE ADVANTAGE.

Women, you just need a good product to offer and attract attention, then you have it all.

[andre251]

I would like to add that though many girls are saying they feel they have it harder, in their replies they don't have nearly as many FACTS and real life examples as the guys do to prove their opinion.

In my opinion, whomever presents the most data, must be correct. If women TRULY had it harder, they would be overwhelming the topic with similar data. They are not.

[Kain6th]

What do you think of LJHam's answer above?

[andre251]

QA, I commented VERY MUCH on every aspect of LJHam's post, and used the similar car dealer analogy.

[ihatetakingcharge]

i agree with you, women do the choosing because they have the final say

[uber069]

men give, women take, that is the way it is. Just look at our sexual organs. The man's unit is meant for penetration. The woman's unit is meant for receiving. Few things are worse than a beautiful woman, I mean gorgeous, that once the linen hits the floor, she just lies there and takes it while the guy has to perform like a decathelete. Women are selfish, end of story, stop PANDERING TO WOMEN GUYS and I mean ALL MEN and suddenly the women will realize they are un-apporachable and can't always have their way SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE WOMEN and things will improve vastly for both men and women. This notion of men needing to "earn a woman" like LJHam suggests below is the main part of the problem and it is the WOMEN that have this problem - don't make it your problem too guys. If I want to pay for a woman, there are whores in every city, a blind preacher could spot them from the moon. Wanna impress a guy ladies? INSIST ON PAYING FOR EVERY PORTION OF THE DATE. Food, movie, drinks, cover charge for the bar you go dancing to, cab home EVERYTHING. SHOW us how "liberated" and "forward-thinking" you are girls. Talk is cheap. SHOW

[Moloch]

Soon, women are going to get a taste of their own medicine, it's already happening, and it'll only get wise.

[NothingGoldCanStay]

I think it is even. I really agree with kherostope and phoenix. To add a little more to what perhaps hasn't been said...

If you systematically break down what you know you need to attract women it is just a matter of confidence and being funny. That will get you a ton of women even if you are not attractive. I also think these are things you can grow. Like look back maybe you were not as funny 5 years ago as you are now... and you are probably also more confident no? Well ye with age we men get better at this stuff. I look at my uncles and I am just so in awe of how awesome they are, both could get a 20 year old to drop their panties in seconds (although they are married so they dont, but you can tell they still got it). That is why there are so many creep old guys flirting with girls all the time, cause the young studs are kinda lost and so they are stealing the chicks we could be with. I am just saying, if you look for ways to improve your confidence and humour traits you will find them. Don't expect some miracle pill to solve all your problems. Instead take it slow and baby steps, cause even a ton of baby steps will eventually get you over Mt Everest.

For women the other hand it is all about looking pretty, dressing well, and being interesting. That doesn't seem hard but to be fair they also have to deal with periods, with guys (have you noticed how guys tend to be way more immature than girls, that must be annoying), with stalkers, with rapist, with players, and with other chicks being jealous and meddling in your relationship. It is really not all it is cracked up to be for women, plus like someone said below. They got less time to do it in.

[Yeahhbro]

wll it is like this.

Guys: They have to go through multiple rejections before they find the person they like.

Girls: They have to go throgh meeting multiple men before they meet the person they like.

I still think women have it easier, I mean they get free food, drinks, they get complimented as well even if its by a creepy guy all the time. When do men ever get free stuff and get complimented? Almost never!

And if people think men only need personality, then they are dead wrong lol.

[Kain6th]

What do you think of LJHam's answer above?

[Guysensei]

lol wow.. the guys here are such whiners. Girls have it MUCH harder. They have a shorter period in life that they have to find a guy in, and have to worry about their looks so much more. Guys can be old and date young chicks, and its a common thing. For the other way around its much less common. I feel much more sympathy for the girls than guys... you guys are just being scaredy cats

[magnoliacrush]

did not expect seeing this type of answer. kudos for having the balls to say what you said.

[HannahC]

thats a very good point

[Moloch]

It's true, once a woman's appearance fades away, men want nothing to do with her.

[steveman2008]

Your the man. You must be like sex yoda

[andre251]

so then girls have it 10X easier from age 18 until like 31.

And guys have it 3X easier once they are financially established and lets say...28+.

Overall in the grand scheme of things, I am sure EVERYONE agrees that girls have it very much easier in their youth. If anyone disagrees with this, then...I would not even know what to say.

[Guysensei]

wrong andre. the only thing that prevents you from getting girls is your fears. A guy can be ugly, old and still get a girl if he's confident. How about a girl? You can learn confidence at any age, a girl can't change how she looks.

[Moloch]

Lol false. Confidence comes from your ability to succeed, a fearful man isn't confident because of the fact that he has had no success. Without believing in your powers to seduce the opposite gender, there is no room to be confident. Usually when men get older, they get success in other fields of life such as monetary success, which in turn empowers them to be higher status males. That's why they're more likely to be confident and a younger individual such as andre may not be.

[Guysensei]

That is complete bullsh*t. Confidence is your ability to overcome your fears, not give up and play the victim. A guy that is fearful has had no success sure, but he can get success if he overcomes what he's afraid of. Basically its completely within his control to change. Girls have to depend on something BEYOND their control.

[Yeahhbro]

if you think girls all they need is looks you are just a disciple not a sensei lmao!

[Moloch]

No cursing. It is impossible to be confident while trying to overcome your fears, confidence is the end result after overcoming your fears and being optimistic about the outcomes of a certain event. In some cases you may be right, about overcoming your fears to get success, however, what about the individuals who overcome their fears only to face more rejection? It's a never ending cycle for these men, and in order for them to get the success they want they need to change something about themsel

[andre251]

I am not wrong. lol. I am not scared to go up to any girl. I am realistic about who I go up to. Also, the age determines everything, just as you said.

Your logic is very flawed.

Moloch, in his reply is correct! Me in 10 years, when successful will not have changed my confidence at all, but girls will be easier to pursue because I am at a higher status.

I am very confident, and I don't let rejection hurt me. I am also not scared. But I definitely don't have it easier in any way.

[Guysensei]

no no no, confidence is your ability to overcome those things that scare you, its not innate. you have to believe in yourself and like yourself and do the things that scare you. And no its not in some cases, its that only some cases guys actually get the balls to go do it. Most just sit around and bitch about how much harder you got it (like you two)

[Guysensei]

and for you to sit here and lie saying your confident only tells me that your not. A confident guy knows how easy it is to get a girl.. both of you obviously have trouble since your bitching about how hard it is.

[Moloch]

I'm not bitching, I fixed your definition of confidence. Too bad you still don't get it.

[Guysensei]

its you that doesn't get it.

[Moloch]

Look it up in the dictionary, see who's right. "full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing" "belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance"

[ihatetakingcharge]

why or how do girls, women, have a such shorter period to find and get a guy? also, there are Cougars you know

[ihatetakingcharge]

how do girls have a shorter period?

[Phoenix52]

Girls bring looks to the relationship.

Guys bring everything else to the relationship.

Yes, girls are the ones who choose who they want. The hottest girls have a lineup of guys in their phones, so they get to pick the best candidate.

That is, until Leonardo Dicaprio shows up. He is a f*cking boss with high class, and he can pick whichever girl he wants. So if you ever want to switch the tables up on the girls, you have to bring a lot of value to the table.

[Kain6th]

What do you think of LJHam's answer above?

[Phoenix52]

I gave her a thumbs up

[whosays]

Guys complain about getting Friend-Zoned : welcome to "nice friendly girls" land. Forever friend-zoned.

Guys have initiate everything? Nope, I started my last two relationships.

As a generally shy girl.. I think it's quite hard to get guys' attention when they're often too busy staring at another hot, chesty girl.. Not to mention the sluts..

However, I think it ends up being equal, throughout the relationship, or it won't work out.

[MrNameless]

You're different, but you don't speak for the vast majority of girls who wait for the guys to do all the initiating.

[andre251]

Dido to Mr Nameless.

Also from your avatar pic, you look pretty cute. Are you telling me NO GUYS ever came up and approached you? Or, did you shoot them all down?

[whosays]

Hahaha, to be perfectly honest, I've genuinely never been approached. Thanks though.

And I realize I'm not the vast majority of girls, but some guys are the same way.

It just has to do with a certain fear of rejection, blah blah blah.

[gummybear888]

I feel like it depends on the individual level of course but sometimes a guy doesn't have to try a lot. there has to be mutual attraction. With me and my boyfriend, I and him are attracted to each other. we both started by secretly checking each other out and then a few months down I had the guts to approach him and he accepted. We both aftewards made the effort to see each other when we could and it's working out. Once you find the right person, if you choose higher value over a lot of low value, you will have to try less. I hope that makes sense. I know my boyfriend is picky and so he has had to try less hard I guess by dating someone only if he really really likes them.

On my side, I feel it's a two way thing because I also have to put in effort to look nice or attractive and have an attractive personality too.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

For the most part ,yes. Men do all the initiation work and such and then are expected to keep up the same level all through out the relationship. That's not that women don't put a lot of effort too, just guys are generally expected to do more. It's annoying.

[Anonymous]

Mostly it is easy for SOME guys and hard for others.

Depends on the person and the situation, it does not apply for all men.

I know for a fact that my guy has it easy all the time, because his first girlfriend threw herself at him and I pretty much did the same thing to him too.

He just lies there and does NOTHING/.

[Kain6th]

So how does he do it? just good looks or what?

[Opinion Owner]

he's talkative and friendly. He's also tall, and he has social skills. What I mean was, he doesn't make any real "moves". He doesn't ask you to be his girlfriend, he waits for you to ask and make all the moves. He just talks to you and stuff. It's like he thinks he's a loser so he'll not make a move and you'll pity him so you'll make the move. get it?

[Kain6th]

Not really lol. so he's a loser and you feel bad for him enough to want to be his gf?

[Opinion Owner]

yes something like that. I feel bad for him because he makes it seem like he's such a loser that I feel sorry for him and want to be his girlfriend. That's his "game" I suppose. Why do you think I'm on GAG?

[Kain6th]

He sounds like he's manipulative to me. is he a good bf?

[Opinion Owner]

he never does anything with me and he is always playing his video games. That's probably why his ex dumped him, because he never wants to do anything with her besides have sex with her. He's boring and doesn't want to go out to do anything. All he wants is sex. And uses me for stuff.

[Kain6th]

What kinds of things does he use you for?

[Opinion Owner]

makes me massage him for hours, clean after him, do his laundry, take care of his car, take care of his bills, buy things for him, uses me for sex and sexual pleasure etc.

[Kain6th]

Well he only uses you if you allow him to. I think you should just say no next time, or hold out until he realizes he needs to put in more effort into you or you will walk out on him.

[Opinion Owner]

I have my reasons to stay with him.

[Kain6th]

But do you agree though that you should say no to him? I mean if you feel he uses you then you should maybe speak up about it or something. just my 2 cents

[moviedude714]

so you and his ex, initiated all of the talking, interacting?

[Opinion Owner]

yep

[ihatetakingcharge]

did those relationships turn out successful? because I hear arguments, debates, in which people say relationships do not turn out as great if they get initiated by the girl

[Opinion Owner]

well she cheated on him and left him for another guy and I'm about thinking of doing the same.

[Kain6th]

Don't do that. just break up with him.

[Cyhhgg]

Dude. This sounds like a troll. And mosr likely a pathetic man posing as a woman in GAG. LOL

[Anonymous]

I'd say its equally hard in different ways when it comes to the dating scene.

- guys are still expected to approach a girl, ask her out and woo her, that's a lot of work, but its also a relatively straight forward mission: find pretty, nice girl, convince her you re the guy for her, the worst thing that can happen is she rejects you and you end up paying for dinner.

-Girls on the other hand aren't generally expected to approach but have to worry about negative attention and our reputations.

guys never have to deal with being felt up by strangers or being approached by seedy men with one thing on their mind.

guys have nothing to lose, they don't get called sluts, or lose respect for being "easy"

its up to us girls to distguish between the genuine well intentioned guys and the guys and the guys who will say and do anything to get us in the sack. ...and when we get it wrong, its us who come out looking stupid and naive.

[Opinion Owner]

*distinguish

[Anonymous]

Yup. I literally do not talk to anyone outside of my circle of friends, yet I am still approached by guys. I can be as bitchy as I want, and I still manage to keep a stable relationship. Girl don't have to take the initiative to meet a guy or to text them - anything really.

[Kain6th]

Are you really bitchy?

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

But the guys that approach aren't always the guys you want. Because of this, it's equal for both men and women.

However, I've observed that a lot of women seem to have unrealistic standards when it comes to dating. Because of this, it's a lot harder for them to actually be attracted to a guy. Therefore, girls have a harder time in the dating world. Guys don't really ask for much when they're looking for a girl. As long as she's hot, there's a lot she can get away with personality-wise.

[Opinion Owner]

Not super, but I wouldn't put up with someone being as moody or rude as I am sometimes

[Opinion Owner]

Possibly, but I usually give most of them a chance.

[Opinion Owner]

And yeah true because you're pretty you can get away with more. An unattractive girl would haw a more difficult time with that.

[Opinion Owner]

*have haha

[BoobMan]

Jesus! How is it that people seem to have so much trouble understanding the relatively simple concept that for EVERY hetero-sexual relationship, you have BOTH a guy AND a girl? So how is it any harder for one gender or the other to get into a relationship? What am I missing here?

[andre251]

Are you kidding?

[BoobMan]

Help me out then.

[ihatetakingcharge]

because guys have to initiate everything, duh!, girls don't have to do any talking, all they have to do is Say Yes or No

[kheserthorpe]

At 20 women have it easier. At 50 men do.

A very attractive woman always has it easy. I suspect an unattractive man has much better chances then a comparable woman.

[magnoliacrush]

Very good point. Can't agree more

[taster]

Heh heh..How would YOU know? oh ok..I will agree..I just don't think either sex has it much better or worse...rather they have it better AND worse in different ways and areas...(:

[Leamonade]

I love this answer.

[ihatetakingcharge]

why do women, girls, even agree with this? it's like women do not know the joys of being a woman

[Hades]

So, after their looks fade, women suffer just like guys who are young and not very confident do now?

[kheserthorpe]

Let's say yes. But there's less they can do about it. And going from in demand to -not- is psychologically worse then starting low and improving.

[Hades]

No way? Well, that's good news. Fair stuff!

[ihatetakingcharge]

this is what David DeAngelo said, is this where you are getting at? do you agree?: link

[steveman2008]

In life everyone has there advantages and disadvantages. It is all about how you view life. For men I think they are easily intimidated by women. Because women are stronger and can hide there emotions. When they want to. Women have it hard also because they have to try to meet men's unreachable high standards. I don't want to preach because I fall into the standards of being intimidated by women.

[danndan6]

In a nutshell, a guy must muster up the inner strength to approach and be rejected/publicly humiliated by 9 girls before finding his match while a girl gets 9 guys approaching, flattering and trying to impress her before finding her match. hmmmmmmmmmm, yeh, poor girls having to put on make up

[Elaine1]

Though I chose the " Agree", but I think it depends on the the real situation. Such as the man is very popular and the girl is a bit weak at face-looking, and art feeling etc...It will be harder than guy to run after girl~ Guys' heart sometimes hard to guess.

If really like a guy, I do not care to spend more on love~

[Robertcw]

What blows my mind is this: sometimes it’s very easy and sometimes it’s excruciating. The method is what differentiates this.

I’m recently discovering certain conversation tactics work really well, and others are downright painful.

Corny canned lines from pick up artists actually get results on apps like Tinder. Being myself I would grovel to get anywhere on the app, but as soon as I tried some canned lines all the sudden things started looking up immediately. Simple exchange of no more than 4 messages tops and boom.

This bothers me somewhat, but it’s clear to me that if you are a certain way almost zero effort is required. If you are opposite of this way then get ready to move mountains.

For whatever reason this is what I notice. So it makes sense to learn the methods that are easy and work.

[handsomejackk]

It depends on what you want. If you're willing to settle for one of the first few people that come along, then women probably have it *slightly* easier.

But if you're more specific in what you want, then the genders are about equal in that regard. On this site and elsewhere I've heard many examples of women who are after someone with specific qualities, and hence struggle trying to find that person.

[hotsaucecookie]

It's funny that women demand confidence as if it's not revolving door. Not all of them, but a good number of those always confident dudes they just don't have that much going on upstairs... so they don't know enough to lack confidence in certain areas. It works for this world though, and it's all you need to get a girl who doesn't necessarily need any personality or skill, just a nice set of T&A.

I'm only talking about some people though, not everyone.