Guys have to try a whole lot harder in the dating world than women?

Question

Agree or disagree with this statement and why? ******************

moviedude714 · Accepted Answer

I still think girls have it easier, and probably always will, but this is what a lot of people say, I hate when they say it but they do make sense when they say it. This is how I see it, the dating/relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend scene, world, game, is designed, rigged for guys to lose, but that does not mean it will stay that way for guys, basically, girls have it easier from day one because they do not have to do the approaching, talking, overall, they do not have to initiate any form of contact, so that means girls do not have to say or do anything to attract a guy, because in any situation in life, when you have to do something about it in order to change something or get something, you obviously can accidentaly make a mistake, error, yes mistakes are a part of life, but we try to avoid them, it's easier to get something without doing anything than it is doing something, because when you are doing something about it, you can accidentally make a wrong, negative impression, say or talk about something stupid, dumb, overall, do something accidentally, unintentionally that makes you get denied of what you want, whether it is a date, a job, you can lose a game in sports. When I said I hate how people say it is easier for guys, because we guys get to be pro-active in going after what we want, meanwhile girls have to wait, and they have to put up with guys they see a losers, creepers, guys they are not into, meanwhile the person doing the approaching, pursuing, means they are going after what they want.

The only way the dating/relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend world, scene, can become easier for guys, is if guys master, develop the "game", confidence, attitude, mindset, social-skills, conversation-skills, etc. Obviously this is a lot of work, very hard work, so basically, girls have it easier without having to do anything or change anything, but if we guys want to make it easier for ourselves, we have to change, do something about it, which is frustrating but oh well it is what it is, like this is what one guy said, although I hate, despise, loathe it, I have no choice but to adapt, deal with it:

"Despite advances in equality for men and women, which has greatly empowered women in our society, the social norm, status quo, has always been, and probably always will be, that it’s the man’s responsibility to make the first approach and initiate contact. In my opinion, not only is this how it should be, but that men should be jumping for joy that it is. While this “women approaching men” concept may seem like a no-brainer to those guys who are scared to death to approach anything female, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Yes there is pressure on us guys who are expected to make the first move, but women don’t have it so great either." it continues in my comments

TimeAndTimeAgain · Accepted Answer

Just because guys are expected to initiate and make the first move, does not mean they have it harder. Women have it just as hard - if not harder - then men do.

First of all, let's be clear about something. Men are a lot more visual than women. Looks matter a lot. When a guy approaches a woman, it's almost ALWAYS because he found her attractive. Count how many attractive girls you come across in one single day - IT'S A LOT! And that's A LOT of women you'd be interested in going on a date with, if you just had the nerve to ask them. Girls, you aren't able to count, but just know that it's A LOT.

However, for girls, it's different. They're not as visual as guys are. Not only do physically attractive guys have a MUCH lesser effect on women, but they're also A LOT harder for women to find. WHY?! Because women have HIGH STANDARDS! And it's because of this that guys are often mistaken for being shallow. When in fact, we're not shallow - we're just more visual, and we usually don't have very high standards.

Not only that, but for women, the personality part of the guy matters A LOT MORE. This is why physically unattractive guys can score girls, and why you see a lot of good-looking guys without girlfriends. If a girl's not attracted to your personality, it doesn't matter how hot you are.

And that's the catch - you can't "see" someone's personality, so she isn't going to know if she's TRULY attracted to you, until she gets to know you.

Because girls are unable to figure this out, they have a MUCH harder time finding someone they really like. Some of them lower their standards, or settle, depending on how desperate they are.

It's this reason that makes the fact that they get hit on all the time, completely irrelevant. Even if she's that most beautiful girl you have ever seen, that EVERY single guy looks at, and gets hit on 20 times a day, it's not going to matter. Because the truth is some girls simply have a hard time finding a guy they're attracted to. I've known girls who finished college without EVER - in their ENTIRE lives - feeling like having sex with ANYONE! That should tell you something. It should tell you looks by itself means JACK SHIT, and that personality is a HUGE thing for girls.

If you want to understand what it's like for girls, try this - imagine you're blind, and tons of girls keep asking if you want to have sex with them. This should give you a good idea of just how "easy" girls REALLY have it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The outcome of this poll was so entertaining to see. Of course, more guys agree that guys have it harder in the dating world than girls.

Personally? Let me ask this one question first: Do you see more men or women single (not married)? In my area, I see significantly more women single, never been married (hence the phenomenon of the Crazy Cat Lady) . I don't know if that tells you that women have it harder in the dating scene or not, but it does tell me that more men get married than women. So the men are doing something right. I could be wrong, but this is something to think about.

Another thing, have you actually sat down with a female friend and watched her get ready for a date? To some girls, it's a full day of planning finding the right outfit for the night gala. Ridiculous? Yes. Necessary? Depends. And on top of that, the girl has to retain all of her crazy personality traits so they don't scare off the guy on the first date. It might turn out a cute trait eventually, but a little bit of too much crazy can be overwhelming to the guy.

Finally, my answer to the poll is girls and guys equally have it difficult. I acknowledge that men have to have a little bit (but by the sounds of it, you need A LOT) of courage to ask the girl out, open the door for them, pay for the dinner/lunch/brunch/whatever, get a hair cut before the date, etc. I just don't believe that girls have to 'sit back and wait.'

LJHam · Accepted Answer

Define by what you mean exactly by "try". Try as in get up the nerve to approach a woman and talk to her, ask her out? While I see that act does require a bit of courage, I believe men put too much weight into the approach/ask thing.

I happen to be a woman who has tried crossing gender boundaries and have approached men often in the past. Some weren't receptive, some were. Those who were ended up rejecting me in the long run because they took me for granted and didn't appreciate me. And why did they take me for granted? Because they didn't have to work for me, I took the pressure off by approaching them. In their eyes, it was cute at first, me making it so easy for them. But the honest to God truth is men ARE the hunters dating back to cavemen days. If they don't pursue their kill (so to speak), then the thrill is not really there for them. So, now my approaching days are over. But having done it myself I can truthfully say, making an approach is so easy. Just get over the fear of her saying she's not interested. It won't kill you.

livi23 · Accepted Answer

I'd agree. It seems like guys pay for everything, they do the asking out, and they give the most gifts to keep a girl happy. Girls give some gifts, ask out a guy sometimes, and don't really pay for much because the guy is paying... And guys have to be at their best for a girl to want them. If a girl has t*ts and a vagina, guys will ask her out just for that. A guy has to have intelligence, good looks, and a good personality to get asked out by a girl. Girls have higher standards and expect more. So I'd say guys have it harder.

andre251 · Answer

It is always more difficult for men.

I have always believed that WOMEN are actually doing the choosing.

If men were doing the choosing, we would ALWAYS get the women we approach. Where as, women ACTUALLY choose the guy, yes based on who approaches them, but they STILL do the actual choosing.

Men really just get to come up to women and get rejected multiple times.

Women can also essentially "choose" how many men come up to them by how approachable they make themselves.

So Women make themselves approachable, and then choose who they want from the lot.

I imagine, in most cases, if a women is too high quality for a guy, not too many of those guys will come up to them.

Lets put it this way. If I go to a car dealer, just because the dealer comes up to me while I am looking at a car, it does not mean that I HAVE TO BUY A CAR. I decide if and when I will buy a car! Even though there is some small attraction, due to the car, that doesn't mean that the dealer has won, and gets sale.

Me being the buyer is ACTUALLY CHOOSING. The dealer, the "approacher" is never actually choosing!

Where as, yes if the dealer has the great social skills, and the know how and can "sell his product", in this case a car, or in a guys case, selling himself for a date, then the approacher can win.

But, honestly, and always, the one who CHOOSES has it easiest.

Can ANYBODY ever tell me the car dealer ever has the advantage?

Nope, never!

So therefore, the women, in the same light, doing the choosing, ALWAYS HAS THE ADVANTAGE.

Women, you just need a good product to offer and attract attention, then you have it all.

uber069 · Answer

men give, women take, that is the way it is. Just look at our sexual organs. The man's unit is meant for penetration. The woman's unit is meant for receiving. Few things are worse than a beautiful woman, I mean gorgeous, that once the linen hits the floor, she just lies there and takes it while the guy has to perform like a decathelete. Women are selfish, end of story, stop PANDERING TO WOMEN GUYS and I mean ALL MEN and suddenly the women will realize they are un-apporachable and can't always have their way SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY ARE WOMEN and things will improve vastly for both men and women. This notion of men needing to "earn a woman" like LJHam suggests below is the main part of the problem and it is the WOMEN that have this problem - don't make it your problem too guys. If I want to pay for a woman, there are whores in every city, a blind preacher could spot them from the moon. Wanna impress a guy ladies? INSIST ON PAYING FOR EVERY PORTION OF THE DATE. Food, movie, drinks, cover charge for the bar you go dancing to, cab home EVERYTHING. SHOW us how "liberated" and "forward-thinking" you are girls. Talk is cheap. SHOW

NothingGoldCanStay · Answer

I think it is even. I really agree with kherostope and phoenix. To add a little more to what perhaps hasn't been said...

If you systematically break down what you know you need to attract women it is just a matter of confidence and being funny. That will get you a ton of women even if you are not attractive. I also think these are things you can grow. Like look back maybe you were not as funny 5 years ago as you are now... and you are probably also more confident no? Well ye with age we men get better at this stuff. I look at my uncles and I am just so in awe of how awesome they are, both could get a 20 year old to drop their panties in seconds (although they are married so they dont, but you can tell they still got it). That is why there are so many creep old guys flirting with girls all the time, cause the young studs are kinda lost and so they are stealing the chicks we could be with. I am just saying, if you look for ways to improve your confidence and humour traits you will find them. Don't expect some miracle pill to solve all your problems. Instead take it slow and baby steps, cause even a ton of baby steps will eventually get you over Mt Everest.

For women the other hand it is all about looking pretty, dressing well, and being interesting. That doesn't seem hard but to be fair they also have to deal with periods, with guys (have you noticed how guys tend to be way more immature than girls, that must be annoying), with stalkers, with rapist, with players, and with other chicks being jealous and meddling in your relationship. It is really not all it is cracked up to be for women, plus like someone said below. They got less time to do it in.

Yeahhbro · Answer

wll it is like this.

Guys: They have to go through multiple rejections before they find the person they like.

Girls: They have to go throgh meeting multiple men before they meet the person they like.

I still think women have it easier, I mean they get free food, drinks, they get complimented as well even if its by a creepy guy all the time. When do men ever get free stuff and get complimented? Almost never!

And if people think men only need personality, then they are dead wrong lol.

Guysensei · Answer

lol wow.. the guys here are such whiners. Girls have it MUCH harder. They have a shorter period in life that they have to find a guy in, and have to worry about their looks so much more. Guys can be old and date young chicks, and its a common thing. For the other way around its much less common. I feel much more sympathy for the girls than guys... you guys are just being scaredy cats

Phoenix52 · Answer

Girls bring looks to the relationship.

Guys bring everything else to the relationship.

Yes, girls are the ones who choose who they want. The hottest girls have a lineup of guys in their phones, so they get to pick the best candidate.

That is, until Leonardo Dicaprio shows up. He is a f*cking boss with high class, and he can pick whichever girl he wants. So if you ever want to switch the tables up on the girls, you have to bring a lot of value to the table.

whosays · Answer

Guys complain about getting Friend-Zoned : welcome to "nice friendly girls" land. Forever friend-zoned.

Guys have initiate everything? Nope, I started my last two relationships.

As a generally shy girl.. I think it's quite hard to get guys' attention when they're often too busy staring at another hot, chesty girl.. Not to mention the sluts..

However, I think it ends up being equal, throughout the relationship, or it won't work out.

gummybear888 · Answer

I feel like it depends on the individual level of course but sometimes a guy doesn't have to try a lot. there has to be mutual attraction. With me and my boyfriend, I and him are attracted to each other. we both started by secretly checking each other out and then a few months down I had the guts to approach him and he accepted. We both aftewards made the effort to see each other when we could and it's working out. Once you find the right person, if you choose higher value over a lot of low value, you will have to try less. I hope that makes sense. I know my boyfriend is picky and so he has had to try less hard I guess by dating someone only if he really really likes them.

On my side, I feel it's a two way thing because I also have to put in effort to look nice or attractive and have an attractive personality too.

TheGodEmperorLeto · Answer

For the most part ,yes. Men do all the initiation work and such and then are expected to keep up the same level all through out the relationship. That's not that women don't put a lot of effort too, just guys are generally expected to do more. It's annoying.

Anonymous · Answer

Mostly it is easy for SOME guys and hard for others.

Depends on the person and the situation, it does not apply for all men.

I know for a fact that my guy has it easy all the time, because his first girlfriend threw herself at him and I pretty much did the same thing to him too.

He just lies there and does NOTHING/.

Anonymous · Answer

I'd say its equally hard in different ways when it comes to the dating scene.

- guys are still expected to approach a girl, ask her out and woo her, that's a lot of work, but its also a relatively straight forward mission: find pretty, nice girl, convince her you re the guy for her, the worst thing that can happen is she rejects you and you end up paying for dinner.

-Girls on the other hand aren't generally expected to approach but have to worry about negative attention and our reputations.

guys never have to deal with being felt up by strangers or being approached by seedy men with one thing on their mind.

guys have nothing to lose, they don't get called sluts, or lose respect for being "easy"

its up to us girls to distguish between the genuine well intentioned guys and the guys and the guys who will say and do anything to get us in the sack. ...and when we get it wrong, its us who come out looking stupid and naive.

Anonymous · Answer

Yup. I literally do not talk to anyone outside of my circle of friends, yet I am still approached by guys. I can be as bitchy as I want, and I still manage to keep a stable relationship. Girl don't have to take the initiative to meet a guy or to text them - anything really.

BoobMan · Answer

Jesus!  How is it that people seem to have so much trouble understanding the relatively simple concept that for EVERY hetero-sexual relationship, you have BOTH a guy AND a girl?  So how is it any harder for one gender or the other to get into a relationship?  What am I missing here?

kheserthorpe · Answer

At 20 women have it easier.  At 50 men do.  A very attractive woman always has it easy.  I suspect an unattractive man has much better chances then a comparable woman.

steveman2008 · Answer

In life everyone has there advantages and disadvantages. It is all about how you view life. For men I think they are easily intimidated by women. Because women are stronger and can hide there emotions. When they want to. Women have it hard also because they have to try to meet men's unreachable high standards. I don't want to preach because I fall into the standards of being intimidated by women.

danndan6 · Answer

In a nutshell, a guy must muster up the inner strength to approach and be rejected/publicly humiliated by 9 girls before finding his match while a girl gets 9 guys approaching, flattering and trying to impress her before finding her match. hmmmmmmmmmm, yeh, poor girls having to put on make up

Elaine1 · Answer

Though I chose the " Agree", but I think it depends on the the real situation. Such as the man is very popular and the girl is a bit weak at face-looking, and art feeling etc...It will be harder than guy to run after girl~ Guys' heart sometimes hard to guess.

If really like a guy, I do not care to spend more on love~

Robertcw · Answer

What blows my mind is this: sometimes it’s very easy and sometimes it’s excruciating. The method is what differentiates this.

I’m recently discovering certain conversation tactics work really well, and others are downright painful.

Corny canned lines from pick up artists actually get results on apps like Tinder. Being myself I would grovel to get anywhere on the app, but as soon as I tried some canned lines all the sudden things started looking up immediately. Simple exchange of no more than 4 messages tops and boom.

This bothers me somewhat, but it’s clear to me that if you are a certain way almost zero effort is required. If you are opposite of this way then get ready to move mountains.

For whatever reason this is what I notice. So it makes sense to learn the methods that are easy and work.

handsomejackk · Answer

It depends on what you want. If you're willing to settle for one of the first few people that come along, then women probably have it *slightly* easier.

But if you're more specific in what you want, then the genders are about equal in that regard. On this site and elsewhere I've heard many examples of women who are after someone with specific qualities, and hence struggle trying to find that person.

hotsaucecookie · Answer

It's funny that women demand confidence as if it's not revolving door. Not all of them, but a good number of those always confident dudes they just don't have that much going on upstairs... so they don't know enough to lack confidence in certain areas. It works for this world though, and it's all you need to get a girl who doesn't necessarily need any personality or skill, just a nice set of T&A.

I'm only talking about some people though, not everyone.

ihatetakingcharge · Answer

yeah, the list of things, traits, that turn girls off is way longer than the list of things, traits that turn guys off, that is enough to show you that it's harder for a guy to attract a girl than the other way around

Anonymous · Answer

yeah I would say so, me myself being a girl, I don't get why so many people say it is easier for guys, I think we girls have the upper hand

CubanRaftRider · Answer

I think guys have to try harder than girls.  Girls (not all but most) essentially just sit back and wait to see who asks them out (be it a dinner date or an actual relationship). They get to be more picky than guys.  At least it seems to me...

TheGoodTheBadTheHOT · Answer

Guys. They have to take the risks, as is the gender stereotype

Rashad · Answer

I voted C Girls have it harder. A lot of guys say that it's harder for guys because we have to do the approaching. I don't see that as a big deal compare to what girls have to do to get approached.

taster · Answer

I voted B...it is no easier and no harder as a gender...depends on the individual...any advantages or disadvantages for either gender are equalized elsewhere...not easy for anybody?  lol...(:

Moloch · Answer

This shouldn't even be a question, it should be a statement.

frustratedchump06 · Answer

love simply, literally, just  comes to women meanwhile we men have to fight tooth and nail for it, well I can't speak for every guy, that's how I feel

DinaColada · Answer

Yes. When I started dating online, I was getting 50+ emails a day!

6Paul11 · Answer

Guys have a harder time.

MikeK · Answer

Agree... couldn't agree more - we all know it is, anyone else who says otherwise is a flat out liar and an instigator

Anonymous · Answer

I would agree with is if I couldn't take my own experiences into account, but I have been the one to approach/initiate things with guys way too often lately to say that girls have it easy.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah but how hard is it to try? Women have to try a lot more to look good. All we gotta do is sack up and stop caring about being rejected. Seriously, you're overthinking it. Just practice and get better. Let go of your insecurities and doubts and anything else that holds you back.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe in the beginning. But a true relationship is about equal amount of giving and taking.

Sportsnutim · Answer

OH GOD YES! If I guy doesn't fit the norm 5'10 or better plenty of money the shorter guys are screwed. I am 5'7 a good looking guy, in shape, dress nice, asked 8 women out had 4 dates. All failed what the heck am I doing wrong here?!

Hades · Answer

I agree. I think it's just down to supply and demand.

bigmike16 · Answer

Majority of films portray males as having to ask out the girl

Sportsnutim · Answer

OH GOD YES! If I guy doesn't fit the norm 5'10 or better plenty of money the shorter guys are screwed.

doctorwhofan23 · Answer

I agree we are expect to make the first move.

Prof_Don · Answer

I would vote for "A" twice if the site let me. :)

Xx_DRE_xX · Answer

We all know this is the Truth Kain.

Anonymous · Answer

agreed.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't say we have to, but we generally do...

Guys have to try a whole lot harder in the dating world than women?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Guys have to try a whole lot harder in the dating world than women?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.