I feel like an idiot.. did I blow it with him?

[Anonymous]

I think I blew it with this guy. He was really nice and kinda shy. We haven't known each other really long. He initiated the first conversation and we were flirting nonstop. Everyone said he liked me and his friends even hinted to it. He always seemed excited to see me and smiled. He did pretty much everything a guy could do that would show that a girl liked her. He kinda asked me out but it was casually so I didn't think much of it and told him no cuz' I was busy but maybe another time. I have told him how much I like being around him and that he's a cool guy. But I have also flirted with his best friend. I'm also very outgoing and a big flirt so I tend to flirt with guys a lot. Guys I really like I don't flirt with as much because I'm self-conscious. A lot of my best friends are guys too so I talk to them a lot and we often joke around and hug and stuff. The other day my friend hugged me and my crush looked really sad. Now he gets nervous around me, really awkward, still smiles and makes eye contact but it's not the same. Then I asked him if he wanted to hang out with me and some friends. He said yes at first then later said he couldn't because he had homework. maybe the week after. I messaged him on facebook and no response. He doesn't get on very often but I know he's read it because it says he has added friends. This girl has also been writing on his wall. He has told me that he takes forever to respond on facebook. Last time I wrote him and he never responded. But when I saw him he apologized for not writing back (this was a week ago). I really feel like an idiot. Did I blow it with him?

[Mallo]

I feel bad telling you this, but I honestly think that you blew it with him. As the guy that's been in his shoes to a point, I've asked a girl to go do something with me and if she shoots me down, then it ends up being really demoralizing. For me, I end up feeling hurt a little bit for a while. If she tries to talk to me then I'll just keep things kinda neutral, because I don't want to be hurt again. Chance are that he might be moving on or he's playing the guilt card. My advice to you would be to keep trying to hang out with him until you see some change. It could be for the better or worse. One of my friends (the girl that I like) bails on me often, mostly last second. She ends up feeling really bad and I'll try again, because I want to hang out with her, only with the same results each time. Plan something with him and make sure you can't back out. If he has to back out, tell him that you had been looking forward to it. That'll either guilt him for skipping or for having to skip and things should work out eventually. Its a non-confrontational solution that should produce results.

However...flirting with the best friend might have been a little too much.

[Asker]

Yeah. That's what I was thinking too. I'm going to try talking to him again and see what happens. I'm gonna try to invite him somewhere. I did ask him last week if he wanted to hang out with me and some friends but he said yes then no because he had homework and didn't have the car. He said we could next week because he would have the car and we could ride together. I don't know if that's a good sign or not. :/ But still, he won't write me back on facebook. Although he's told me that he doesn't get on.

[Mallo]

Just keep trying and hopefully something will come from it.

However, don't try too hard or you might get on his nerves which would be really bad.

[gettinittogether]

I think you just need to find a balance. Don't flirt with other guys if you actually like this guy. Do you really like him? He seems to really like you, so don't take it for granted. It just seems like you don't like him.. (he's done pretty much everything a guy could do). Don't say "maybe some other time" as well.. if you like him... say "I'm sorry, I have other obligations, but I would love to some other time."

Is it him who initiates the conversations?

Do you show any interest in him as a person?

Guys will chase you if they really like you... but you need to be serious about this guy if you like him so stop flirting with other guys.

[PrickeyPear]

He may be backing off because he's afraid now. I think you might have to step up and make a more direct move to let him know you are genuinely into him. Ask him to hang out just the two of you.

[Anonymous]

I dont think you blew it but i do think your going to have to work at it and show him u made a mistake and you really do like him