Why is it OK for a women to complain, about being single but not for a guy?

[Uglyfatass]

I believe its a double standard. We all hear women complaing about being single and no one really says anythin, but if someone like me does, we get bashed why? Because they have a hole between their legs?

Updates

+1 y

I apologize for the hole between the legs comment.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, I feel you man, this one guy said this to me on a forum on Plentyoffish and he really pissed me off, made me very angry, I hate how life, society, culture, expects us guys to toughen it up all the damn time, that being desperate, needy, clingy, makes us less masculine, the oppossite of masculine, really angers me, he said:

"F*cking grow a pair. Seriously, man up. You need to have a spine, NO ONE respects a door mat, and you’ll NEVER get a relationship without respect. Realize that YOU are in control of your own destiny and women don’t OWE you sh*t, not a relationship, a bj, love, respect, sympathy, NONE of it.(that part p*ssed me off the most)

You gotta EARN it. EARN it by realising that you don’t NEED to have a chick to validate your existance, realize that people try to help you all the time, but your LAZY ass ALWAYS blames society instead of taking initiative and making yourself more attractive the opposite gender. ADAPT! Don’t cry about women not wanting you, find out what they want and use that to make yourself more attractive. Oh and be a Man."

Man if I met him in person I would love to kick his ass, show him that I have Balls, that I have respect and stand up for myself, that I'm not a doormat.

[Hartmut]

Didn't you already dedicate an entire question to this?

[Uglyfatass]

who me?

[Opinion Owner]

no I just share the question askers opinion

[Uglyfatass]

Oh OK cool.

[Opinion Owner]

basically it gets annoying on how life, society, culture, expects us to toughen it up all the damn time, they have all of these rules, standards on how "real men do this, real man do that" etc., but not for what "real women do"

[Uglyfatass]

I never really thought about it, but its true men have to be perfect all the time.

[IHateBeingaMan]

tell me about it, geeze, seriously, why is taking initiative a masculine, manly thing? why does it have to be the guy's chore?

[HateBeingSingleAspie]

yeah, not just that, overall, whenever a guy is whining, ranting, complaining, it makes him look weak, pathetic, less of a man, or not a man at all, it's more socially-acceptable for women to do it than for men.

[Uglyfatass]

Took the words right out of my mouth.

[loveisbeautiful]

I promise, I'm not going to yell at you or get all "Oh, no he didn't! Just say that!" About

your last comment, though it is insulting and crude and I don't really get what that has

to do with your question. But, I get that you're upset and people say things when there

angry, so I get it.

Anyway, I agree with you! Although, I would have word it differently, I agree with what

you said. I think woman can complain and get away with more then men can and it's

not fair! I believe in equality and what's good for one gender, should be good for the other.

By the way, being single does suck! And it's not because I don't like being by myself, I

mean I'm a only child, a loner and it's always just me, myself and I. So, I'm use to it, it

doesn't bother me! I just want chance to experience love like other people do and guys

are the same way, what's wrong with that? I say, nothing!

[IHateBeingaMan]

why is it okay for girls to be insecure but not okay for guys?

[loveisbeautiful]

I think both men and women get insecure, and I don't think it's right for people to tell guys to

not be insecure. So, guys feel free to be insecure, I promise I'm one woman that won't

judge you for!

[Uglyfatass]

Hmmm yeah right. As soon as a guy starts complaining, you'll dumb him.

[loveisbeautiful]

Really? And how do you know that? You don't know me and I'm not like most women, and

considering I have my insecures and self doubts and so on and so fourth, I'd be a huge

hyprocrite if I dumped him for his insecures, self doubts, etc etc! I am not that kind of

person and it would take a lot for me to want to break up with somebody!

P.S. When or if I'm ever lucky enough to get a boyfriend, I'm gonna respect him and his feelings,

and I'm gonna love him with everything I got!

[Uglyfatass]

I was being sarcastic.

[loveisbeautiful]

Sorry, but it's hard to sense when somebodies being sarcastic on the computer, either way it

was a misunderstanding it happens!

[Uglyfatass]

Its cool no need to worry.

[loveisbeautiful]

Cool, peace bro lol! : )

[IHateBeingaMan]

guys are far more willing to overlook insecurity in girls, girls not so much for us guys

[loveisbeautiful]

Not true, it's because of the insecurties I have, that I can understand the insecurties guys have!

Why do men find so hard to believe, that there are actually women with good hearts and pure

intentions out there, that just want to love them?! Why, is that so hard for you men to comprehend?

[Anonymous]

I've never thought it's not OK for a guy to complain about it... men have feelings as well and they want to be with someone else in the exact same way women do.

It has nothing to do with our genitals, why would it? You're just being unnecessarily crude and you know it.

But, if you're going to bring up pointless, offensive comments, here's one for you. Just because you've got an ass doesn't mean you need to talk sh*t out of it.

And here comes the comment about "oh you need to take your pill". Yeah well you need to insert your suppository.

[koolit6]

Thank you. Genitals don't matter in this argument.

[koolit6]

I normally don't hear a guy complaining but when he does he says women are crazy so I'm like ok... Why are you still attracted to them? Its like when a girl says I want a man but they are all a**holes... Well then why do you want one?. Doesn't make sense. But I say it's OK they get over it sooner or later.

[Anonymous]

yeah, it's like it's okay for a girl to need or want a boyfriend for validation, to feel better about herself, to complete herself, but never okay for a guy, I hate how we guys are expected to be so damn independent, c'mon, we're humans too you know, we have emotions, feels(although not as much as girls) so we instinctively crave, want companionship too, we are not robots, androids, cybords, etc.

[Uglyfatass]

yeah you tell the lol.

[Opinion Owner]

yeah it pisses me off very much

[Uglyfatass]

I agree you have very valid points.

[ihatetakingcharge]

yeah, pisses me off too

[Cobalt]

You're complaining about people complaining over your complaining?

Frankly I don't care about gender, if I'm just hearing complaints then I have little patience for it. If its an attempt for someone to figure out why they're in that situation, and decide how to go about getting out of it, then I'd be far more receptive and willing to provide advice as I could.

[Vermi]

Guys complain about being single...they do?

Well, it doesn't really bother me either way. What IS annoying is when a girl or guy gets bitchy, whiny, and ranty about being single because they usually date losers that were obvious to spot. Or when they date the bottom of the barrel and take their anger on the opposite gender because of it.

[IHateBeingaMan]

yeah but when a person is bitchy, whiny, ranty and complaing, feels sorry for themselves, have low self-esteem, is insecure, it's a thousand million billion times worse if you are a guy, guys are much more likely overlook mental, verbal flaws, insecurity, low self-esteem in a girl than a girl is to overlook that in a guy

[Vermi]

I don't know know about you, but I don't know any guy with some type of self esteem that will date a girl who bitchy, whiny, ranty, or anything you mentioned. I don't want to hang around a chick that' s whiny and I don't want to date a whiny guy.

[IHateBeingaMan]

well guys are bashed for it more, society expects guys to be mental warriors

[effyM]

Women are supposed to want to be in relationships. Guys are not supposed to want to be tied down. It's not really true because lots of guys want to have relationships and other girls just want to have fun. I don't really know, but I guess it's the way some people see things. I know I complain a lot about being in between relationships and my friends angrily tell me to get out there :P

[carinabina820]

When women are single it's because there's no good enough guys. When guys complain about being single, it's because they ate constantly rejected. Huge difference. Girls just need to hear that they will find someone better or good enough. Guys need a whole you're good enough pep talk.

[kmhco]

I don't think anyone should complain about being single. What is so horrible with keeping yourself company? If you are so unhappy with yourself then why should other people want to be with you? I always liked being single. I also like being in a relationship but it didn't kill me when I wasn't in one.

[Anonymous]

I am not being mean to you or anything I never complain about being single but one of my mates does I don't tink it matter if your single or not because at the end of the day a relationship can just happan out of nowhere it doesn't matter if your a guy or a girl to me it all the same if you complain

[Uglyfatass]

How were umean?

[Opinion Owner]

think what ever you want

[Hartmut]

Because, societally speaking, the guy is expected to go out and attempt to resolve that issue himself if it bothers him that much.

[ihatetakingcharge]

and when a guy is struggling to resolve that issue, it's always his fault, he has to fix, change, and improve on many things, meanwhile women, they don't really have to fix, change or improve on anything mentally, socially, verbally, etc.

[Hartmut]

Never said it was fair.

[IHateBeingaMan]

why is taking charge, making things happen, going after what you want part of being a man? where is the logic in that?

[Hartmut]

I suppose it hearkens back to our ancestors' behavior ; the men were the hunters, so they had to be proactive to some extent. As a species, we've retained all sorts of crap from those thousands of years ago that don't fit in today's world.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Women complain about everything, we know this already. But I agree with you.

[Uglyfatass]

Thank you. I say your profile thanks for your sevice, in the military.

[LittleMissGriff]

Because you automatically assume people get pissed because you've got a d*** between your legs and not because of the other bullsh*t that falls out of your mouth. No one cares if guys bitch about being single. Go for it. Loneliness is lonely. You, on the other hand, are obnoxious. If you want the right to complain, I suggest you deal with that instead of blaming my vagina.

[Uglyfatass]

Someone didn't take her pill today. On your period I see/assume.

[LittleMissGriff]

Aww, see? It's always cute when you prove my point.

If you don't want to be called a sexist d***, don't be a sexist d***. But, seeing as you've only been able to justify anything with insults to my gender, I guess we can all agree it's a bit beyond you.

[Uglyfatass]

What the f*** is your problem? Your everything I hate about women a stuck up feminist ,who thinks and believes the whole world revolves around her. Don't you have a bra buring thing to go to? Don't deny it

[ihatetakingcharge]

women are allowed to seek validation but men are not

[Uglyfatass]

That's what I don't get at times. A women can talk down to a guy, but if a guy does it watch out, he's a scum.

[upsyndrome]

Because the majority of women complain about everything.

[ambershere]

i think the bitching is equal...and as for your last line..my hole serves a purpose(pleasure and babies) your hole in your head serves no purpose no or ever

[Uglyfatass]

Serves a purpose all right for douche bags, to knock you up, and leave your ass ha ha ha.

[vmw2008]

Well I think that comment explains why he's single...wow.

[ambershere]

seems your life as been with sluts..and that figures..i doubt any gal with self respect would date you and your vulgar views of women

[Uglyfatass]

So its OK for you to insult me by saying, I have a hole in my head? FYI I've never date sluts, or even been with one. Never had a steady relationship because I was always turned down for the jerks.

[HateBeingSingleAspie]

apparently, if a guy is desperate for a relationship, girlfriend, it makes him look weak, pathetic, less masculine or not masculine at all, but it's socially-acceptable for a girl

[Uglyfatass]

Agreed 1000% hatebeingsingleaspie.

[IHateBeingaMan]

i hate how we guys have to work on ourselves more than girls do

[Rashad]

It's not okay for neither. I hate it when they do that.

[lucky24]

cause no one wants to hear a guy complain

[Uglyfatass]

No one want to hear a wonen complain either, but they seem to get a free pass.

[lucky24]

haha true

but society expects women to let all their emotions out

the same can't be said about a guy without being seen as weak and less manly

[Uglyfatass]

Hate to say it but you have a point there. I hear women say they want a man, who shows emotions

but when he does he's weak?

[lucky24]

i think they want a guy to be expressive in how he thinks and acts though body language and words so they can understand him better, but not being depressing though by saying things like I don't get to do this or I don't have this, why does my life suck, etc..

n open up a certain extent but not too much

your guess is as good as mine on this subject though

[Uglyfatass]

True so I guess in away you have to be a jerk, with a soft side.

[Anonymous]

yeah I really hate how it is like this

[Anonymous]

i think it's dumb stereotypes we have

[Anonymous]

Cuz you're fat.

[Uglyfatass]

So are some women asswipe. No one says much to them.

[Opinion Owner]

what world do you live in..fat chicks are the butt of dating jokes all the time fool

[Uglyfatass]

True lol sorry for the asswipe remark. But come on its easier for a fat chick to get a date, then it is for a fat guy. Because most just want ass.