She's gone from friendly to just plain cold and ignoring me, what to do?

[Anonymous]

OK so there this girl at work we got on fairly well but now she just completely ignores me, She is on the shy side but it makes no sense every1 else is fine towards me and I've noticed she talks to everyone else throughout the day but she will just act as though I don't exist at all :( only talk to me if she has to about a work related problem but she will cut it short, before she used to be really into my jokes and smile and stuff, I started to feel best way just to ignore her to

[Sgamble11]

I am on the same boat right now. I am very extroverted and loquacious at work except for crush. I work in a huge warehouse and literally talk to everyone mega chatterbox. I love socializing and people. However there's this guy at work. He is this handsome chocolate adonis of a gentleman. He's so creative and unique and wonderful to me. So when i see him though i like him. I choke. I never choke just him. I get so nervous and mad at myself. I think so highly of him. I panic and run. I used to talk to him before but the more emotions I feel the more unsure of myself I get. Then others have said he is charming so he is gay. Then they said you dont have a chance he only like young, thin girls... and I am big and curvy... asstastic as my ex called it. Lol So yea i just backed because I'd rather be an associate and just be around his presence then make him uncomfortable. I would never hurt him he's special to me. Im just as lost as you friend. Sometimes I think he likes he smiles at me but im just not sure. I still an hopeful and i just wish him all the love in the world and all the joy. He's a one in a million special. So maybe you can get sonething from this story. maybe we all need to just shoot our shots I don't know. I hope she talks to you. Fear is the reason. Fear

[Tamikaze]

1. She really liked you based on certain expectations. When you did not deliver on those expectations, she lost interest. So, example, maybe she thought you were in to her and were going to ask her out and you didn't. Or, she thought your friendliness to her was special and then she saw that you talk this way to other girls and she did not like it. This is all stuff that would be in her head and difficult to ever figure out or maybe not even worth figuring out.

2. She is having personal problems and you interpret her coldness as directed at you when, really, she is just not feeling great. I have had people I work with think I was upset with them but we have worked together for years so we talk and I will let them know that something big is going on in my personal life and then they get it.

If this was just a nice extra for you but you have no interest in asking her out or becoming great friends, let it go. Don't be cold but don't go out of your way, and she may change it up again in the future. If you really wanted more from her, ask her out for coffee or something and talk.

[pnutchelle]

Well you have to take flirting at face-value. Sometimes people are just flirts.. But if you were talking about inappropriate things, i.e. things one wouldn't speak to the opposite gender about if they were taken, then I would say that maybe she was unsure in her relationship, or looking around.. And it is a bit shady that if you were talking on a "friends" level that she didn't say she was with someone.. But then again maybe it never crossed her mind that it was more than just harmless flirting.

[Nona_Moira]

This is pretty simple, she likes you and she expected you to show signs that you like her back and when you didn't she decided to ignore you because she is simply mad at you. I'd say that you start being sweet to her , but not all of the sudden , slowly. And show her that you're paying attention to her and see how she will start to soften up.

[Nona_Moira]

One more thing ,if you don't act quick ,you will lose her because when a girl ignores a guy she likes , that the first step In a girl's book to get over a guy. Man up and be nice to her!

[Asker]

my trouble is I lack major confidence and in early days just figured she being friendly as I was new to job etc but seems like its to late now she next to impossible to approach sometimes in all fairness she doesn't do herself many favours ignoring me

[Nona_Moira]

want me to tell you the truth , I used to like this guy once ,but when he didn't show me any signs I ignored him completely to the extent that others would say ''nah man ,this girl doesn't even know you'',but I always had this wish that he'd come and change my mind, but at the end nothing happened so I forgot about him. Come out of your way once and make a nice gesture and girls find it cute anyway when a guy is nervous so there is nothing you're going to lose :) . how long ago was this?

[stillagoodgirl]

So true. Happened to me countless times but I don't even get mad anymore because most times I find out that the guy is taken. I'm so embarrassed after that haha

[Anonymous]

The exact same happened to me the other day.

Basically things were going really great with this girl, for 2 weeks. The thought of asking her out for a drink crossed my mind but i didn't. The second week she was extra chatty and better dressed, i didn't ask her out. Next week she ignored me-DOH!

Funny thing i knew i screwed up, the signs were there, there was a window of opportunity, she was too smiley and nice, i had nothing to lose, and she couldn't be rude to me in an office.

Yea, you screwed up! She gave you a good chance, made the effort and expected you to ask her out. She probably had been obsessing on you all the time hoping for you to do that. When you failed to do that, all the hope and joy of the moment just went!

Recognise that, and perhaps try and win her back later, there is hope if you're careful, although there is a slight possability she just like playing mind games.

[bennettdennis53]

There is NOTHING you can do. It's a basic fact of life. Women do the choosing. Men just pick the time. If a woman chooses a guy who drives a beat up VW over a guy who drives an Audi or Mercedes, there's nothing the rich guys can do. They may lavish her with gifts and attention but at the end of the night, she goes home with the schmuck driving the "Hoopty VW"... Women do the choosing. Men just choose the time

[stillagoodgirl]

*I don't know how old this question is but for future reference...

An apology for your actions or lack thereof would help or a simple explanation like "I've been meaning to ask you out but I've been so busy. Are you free this weekend?"

I've had guys just suddenly start being extra friendly out of nowhere when I'm trying to get over them by ignoring them. I never believe them and see it as fake since they had no explanation. I don't give them a second chance. I'm friendly back but it's not the same as before, I just try to keep a distance since I no longer trust them.

Honestly I get petty/bitter and think to myself 'you didn't want me back then so you can't have me now'. I always feel like he had another girl and after she rejected him, he's now coming back to give me a try.

[Anonymous]

Find a time when she is alone. Maybe If you see her walking away from her desk and you can get her somewhere quiet let her know that your are interested. Maybe she liked you but she is afraid you really don't like her because you are giving her mixed signals. Maybe she is ignoring you because she feels you do not want to talk to her. She is unsure if you like her or not and wants to save face just in case you don't. Believe me it is hurting her as much as it is hurting you. If you really like this person at work talk to her. Be friendly to hear. Ask her for her number to talk or to go to lunch with you. Ask her out when your boss is not around. She is ignoring you because you are ignoring her and not because she does not like you. Believe me she does and probably very much. If you really like her let her know because here today and gone tomorrow. Your chance is now.

[wolfgang548]

I'm going through a very similar situation with a woman at work. I didn't want to immediately jump on her like some men would do leaving her to think I'm desperate or needy. I work overnight and she's one of the managers so our schedule is different. But I do run into her at times, but her interest signs went cold very quickly and ignores me. My sister said" don't chase her because she'll just run and play cat and mouse. When she sees you give her nothing she'll come to you." I know she'll never come to me but at this point I don't think I can go to her now. What some women fail to see is guys like me who want a steady relationship won't jump on the woman the moment she blinks her eye. That's what pick up artists do. A woman has to be a little patient and let the guy come to her when he feels ready just as much as she may expect his patience when she's ready. Like they say, " Only fools rush in."

[Hassium]

A similar situation for me, I get along pretty well with this girl at work and we talk and hang out a lot most days but the other day she just pretended I didn’t exist for a full day any time I tried to talk to her she’d just walk past me and anytime I’d ask a work related question she’d answer in few words without even looking at me. She did something similar a while ago and when I asked her about it she said she didn’t even remember doing it and she probably didn’t ignore me on purpose (she has hearing problems) and I believed her because I wanted to believe I was over thinking things but now she’s done it again and it was incredibly clear this time that she was ignoring me and me specifically (our other work colleagues were treated like usual). Honestly really hurts and has me questioning which attitude is the real her.

[Anonymous]

As a lady, I got to admit that I made the same thing. I was friendly to a guy as I can sense that he might be interested in me & he also started the conversation first. But I might be wrong though. He might not be interested. The next time I saw him, I was still friendly & I think that he could sense that I like him. The 3rd time I saw him, we were sitting in a group at a round table, and I totally ignore him. Did not look into his eyes or talk to him. Because I feel embarrassed that I got a feeling that he knows that I like him. Guys, what do you think I should do? Because I do like him but I'm just embarrassed.

[Eva_Grace]

Maybe you unintentionally said something that hurt/offended her? You could try being like "hey is everything alright? I feel like your upset with me/things aren't good between us"

[hmblmr]

She liked you, you didn't ask her out and now she's trying to get over you.

[yopyopyop]

She probably was into you. You didn't make a move, so now her little pride is hurt.

[Asker]

so true isn't it, what harder is can't just go ask a girl out you work with and with boss in same room etc just very differcult to be overly open, the ignoring is quite hurtful thou if she using it to get to me then its working but at what gain? not much I can really do now either try be friendly but she not very approachable sort or 2 just ignore her back

[Anonymous]

She could've been interested as just a friend... Or maybe she did have a crush on you but it's past. Or she could be a slutty tease. Many options.

[Asker]

yeah I guess either way it doesn't matter anymore just kinda annoyed she didn't make it clear just glad I found out b4 making a fool of myself

[Mikey_Ramone]

She just wants some attention from you. ;)