Mom hates my boyfriend and wants me to break up with him. what to do?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for one year and 4 months. At the beginning my mom liked him but now she will doing anything to separate us. my boyfriend lives about an hour from where I live and he always comes to visit me every Sunday. We usually go out to dinner every time I go out I have to ask for permission and call her every hour. (I only get to see him 3 hours) I'm 23 years old but I resell like I'm treated like I'm 14. The reasons she doesn't like my boyfriend are:his parents are divorced, his mom never had a house they always rented(she thinks I'm never going to have a house if I ever married him), his from Mexico so his an illegal immigrant (she thinks I'm just a business so he can stay here in USA), he doesn't go to college but he works as a welder, he sends money to Mexico to his mom and buys her gifts and my mom thinks he should save that money to get his own apartment and furniture and not live with.his dad. My mom is always is doing things to separate us . Like Sunday I was supposed to go to lunch and she said I couldn't go because she was upset at my boyfriend for posting a picture on Facebook that said that mother in laws are always yelling for no reason . ( I got upset also and he took it off) on Sunday I has to stay outside and talk to him . she said he was in trouble for posting that and I couldn't go anywhere . she also got mad because she saw us kissing through the window now she thinks I'm a slut. I don't know what to do my mom got in a fight with my dad for supporting me. She there talking about getting a divorce  . Its a lot of pressure on me because I love my mom but I also love my boyfriend. She wants me to break up with him because she says I'm her daughter and I should choose her. I've always been a good daughter and I help her all I can . Right now its tough because I'm with her all day because I work at her business and all day long I'm having fights with her . Can someone please give me advice . I want to get my parents and ny boyfriend together but I know how my mom is. I wish I had.the freedom to choose what I want to do in life. I don't want my relationship to end end. We have plans to get married and that's another reason she's mad

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Mothers should be protective over her children, but to be honest, it sounds like she doesn't want you to be with anyone so you'll stay at home with her forever.

1. You're 23. If you you like this man, you like this man. Your mother should not control you. If you let him go and he turned out to be the love of your life, you would never forgive your mother, and resentment would grown. (Btw, "I resell like I'm treated like I'm 14"?)

2. His parents are divorced. Sorry, not everyone is blessed with a perfect life! Many people's parents are divorced and it's none of her business why they are. My parents have had a divorce and that was 100% the right choice for them. Your mum is maybe about to have one herself; she should not be a hypocrite!

3. Again, not everyone has the money to buy! In this economy, more people are choosing to rent because it's more affordable and if something like the roof needs replacing, instead of scrabbling for money, it's not your problem - it's the owners. Renting is a better option for most people nowadays.

4. I can understand her worry about him being an illegal immigrant. She might be scared he'll be taken from you, that's a genuine worry.

5. He might not be at college, but he's got himself a good job - what's bad about that?! Already he's done better than most people. Maybe he is a very practical person and college would be a waste of time and money for him. If he's happy, then there's no problem.

6. He sends money to his family to support them? Oh my god, kill him, he must be evil. He is making his families life easier. It shows he's kind, considerate and supportive. He is trying to help not just himself. He knows his home life and he knows a little gift to make him smile will keep her spirits up for the rest of the week.

7. She saw you kissing him and thinks your a slut? That is completely ridiculous. You're not a slut for kissing your boyfriend.

I think your mum needs to grow up. Write down how you feel and give it to her. Or maybe you should speak to your dad, see if there's anything you can do with your dad.

Can I ask - has her behavior changed from when you were a little girl? Or does your dad think she's changed since they married? It could be that she has something medically wrong with her.

NoOneListens21 · Accepted Answer

-________-; wtf stupid gag I just typed something...and now they deleted it...U_U ass.

but to make it short the points were...you can't please your parents. you should tell her to give him a chance before writing him off and how would it be if you were to get serious with him and have children (if you want them) and they were to see how you two don't get along or have tension or they were to find out how you feel. Even if they weren't any grand kids how do you think it makes you feel to know that her mom disapproves and not for any good reason because he's a decent guy according to you. I know some people who marry other people to stay in the US but they are usually upfront about it. =/ lol. so hopefully that's not really the reason. You tell her you understand that she is trying to protect you and want the best but that doesn't mean what's right for her is right for you.

buttercupWL · Accepted Answer

Your mum sounds rather over the top and controlling to me. You are not a child anymore and as a woman it's your decision who you date. I understand that you want her to like your boyfriends as it makes life much easier but you have to do what makes you happy. Lets face it, no man is ever good enough for a mothers little girl.

Think of it this way, when you are an old lady and you look back on your life, do you think you'd regret breaking up with this boy simply because he didn't come up to you're mums expectations.

ChemicalBR0 · Accepted Answer

Your mom sounds like she has too many prejudices

the guy sounds decent enough. He's got a job is kind (sends money to his mom)

and she thinks you're a slut because you kissed him? You're 23 years old for god's sake

she has no right to give you an ultimatum like that. You will just end up resenting her in the long run and she'll lose you anyway

the fact of the matter is you are not her little girl any more. You are a grown woman and can make up your own mind, whether she likes it or not.

do you think she would be so mad if he wasn't Mexican and didn't come from a poor background?

sounds like your mom has to have a good look at HERSELF before judging anybody else.

Kiran04 · Accepted Answer

You're 23 years old.  Mom's ability to judge and influence your decisions should be long gone.  So she doesn't like your boyfriend, f*** her.  She doesn't get to decide who you date.  It is every girls god given right to date a**holes.  It is every girls god given right to date nice guys.  It is every girls god given right to date anything in between, and also their right to tell mom to shove it in every single case.  YOU decide who you date.  No one else.  Remember that.

RedSmartie · Answer

You really need to force that meeting between him and your parents to happen.  And you should talk to her, calmly, about how she is treating you like a child and should trust you, a grown woman, to make your own decisions.

Anonymous · Answer

Chances are that your mother can see things about him which you can't because you're not objective - you're in love with him. For your own sake, you should find a better class of guy.

Anonymous · Answer

Stay I guess

Mom hates my boyfriend and wants me to break up with him. what to do?

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