Gf won't add me to Facebook, how do I talk to her?

[attractiveontarioguy]

Ive been dating a woman for about three months and I'm head over heels for her, but Facebook is causing an issue...

She has always sidestepped the conversation and downplayed her use of Facebook when I brought up us adding each other. My gut has said that she's hiding something and it makes me really uncomfortable, insecure, and I can't pinpoint why she wouldn't want me on there.

As you can imagine my mind has raced with all kinds of ideas as to what's on there and I've talked to her about it but she said "there's not so cute pics of her on fb, and they're embarrassing". She also added that Facebook causes fights with guys, so what kind of naughty pics does she have on there that would cause a fight? And if she's really into me, why keep them? I don't think even her friends know about me, maybe I'm some kind of secret?

This plus the fact that I'm the pursuer with texts and calls makes me feel that 'maybe she's not that into me'...how do you approach this?(I've been calling less, being less available and working on my stuff, but this fb thing I'm NOT cool with) I know it's fishy, but how and what do I say to her? I'm not a super insecure guy and do choose to trust, but this is a big issue for me...I'm obsessing about how to say it to her

[Scoopie]

Her excuse is kind of lame, because with the privacy control she can hide anything she doesn't want you to see. And you can even put someone on the Restricted list so they only see your public posts. So that makes me think there's something different at stake here.

It could indeed be that she's not that into you, or she's embarrassed or something from having you on her friends list, like she doesn't want other people to see that you are friends.

You could try going for a compromise involving what I stated earlier: tell her that she can add you on fb because you don't care about her embarrassing pictures. You accept her for who she is, and those pictures don't change a thing. If she refuses, tell her that she can use privacy control to hide any pictures and status updates from you. If she then still doesn't want to add you, then it's almost 100% certain it's something else. In which case she lied to you and just made up an excuse. Final step: reconsider your relationship. You're the one initiating contact, and that says a lot.

[MrOracle]

Bottom line: talk to her again, and let her know that this is becoming a serious issue for you, because by her going so far out of her way to find a reason not to add you, she's making you more suspicious and wary, and eroding the trust in the relationship, which will eventually destroy it completely.

Let her know that there HAS to be a better reason she is so afraid of you seeing her profile ("non-cute" pics of her isn't a real reason), and that's either a deal-breaker or it isn't, but you can't know unless you can see. Plus, if you don't want the relationship to be something you both keep private, than you need to know that she's being as open about it as you are.

I don't think you need to have her password or anything like that, but you should at least be on her

Friends list so you can see her profile.

[Anonymous]

She could have something on her fb that she doesen't want you to see. This is not a good sign. You should talk to her about it and be forward with her. When people are hiding things it means they could be lieing about something, who knows she could have another guy on the side and its on fb or something. Also if you wondering if she's really into that could be a sign that she's not. Going with your gut is always a good thing because what you gut tells you is usually right. Ide talk to her about it and see if it gets you anywhere and if not then kick her to the curb.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me before with a guy I was interested in and ended up dating. When he eventually added me, turned out he had barely any friends... and as they grew they were all girls and all 'skanky.' His profile was just not built up and he had no pictures. So it could be that.

OR she's not ready to let you into her personal life yet. Sounds more like she's hiding something, maybe she's talking to other guys or they're talking to her or she has sexy pix up lots of guys comment on and she likes to be a flirt back.

[Pelios]

The only reasons I wold not add someone on Facebook are:

I don't know them. (Strangers)

I don't want them seeing my pictures. (People I may know but are creepy)

I don't want them to see my profile because I want to hide something from them. (Parents etc.)

Do you think you fall into any of those?

[Racez]

If she doesn't want you to add on FB, then just let her be. Her FB is a sort of privacy for her.

Yes, she's definitely in to you. If you're dating her for three months and she doesn't expressly reject you, then she's just waiting for you to make a move.

If it's a big issue for you, then try to slowly move on from it.

I've seen many couples who are not friends in FB, and it's not a big deal for them.

[Anonymous]

she is hiding something probably another bf