What to do when boyfriend goes on gaming rage?

[Anonymous]

I love him so much that I want to accept him with this flaw. He yells at people and breaks their hearts. Made me cry once and yelled at me told me to shut up so I couldn't even calm him. He can't stand defeat in a game and he goes really mad. Any game that is. No matter what game he HAS to be good at it or he goes on rage mode. And he goes mad at people.

I don't know how to handle this. I can't talk to him .. once I hugged him and didn't talk it seemed okay but that wasn't a losing game . that was him being banned. He was flipped out but not as much as losing a game.

I really need help with this I love him so much and want to calm him.

[flawless]

Games brings out the best within a person's physical capability, but draws out their worst emotion.

The only way to stop raging is to stop playing the games. He has to realize that he can't win all the time. There will always be people who are better than him.

I was fortunately enough to be the best at certain games, but really... Once you reached the top, there is nothing else in it. Then you will realize how much time is wasted on a dumb game, climb to the top without any sort of pad on the back for it. (Unless of course if you are Korean.)

Worst, once he think he has the upper hand in the gaming world, he expects the same in the real world. As we know, the real deal is REAL and unforgiving. If you are down on the ground, you stay down. My friend fell victim to it and is unable to recover. He couldn't get any job because his ego is so far up the sky, always want to win an argument, always want to make other people feel bad. Physically, he has no talent or any skill for that matter that is marketable or has any value, but deep down, he knows he has nothing to offer.

Very dangerous position to be in.

[Asker]

SO TRUE. In arguments he is always trying to win and when his friends explain him while trying to calm him down once he realizes he was wrong he shuts up. so true.. thank you so much! If only he could see that. He is trying to reach that goal. To prove what? I don't know..

[USGrant]

I feel this, I've been there to some extent, all of it. You need to get him to realize that video games is changing his reality and owning his time and life. Ask him if he is more frustrated by playing, than enjoying. Ask him whether there are other things he could do that are more fun but that don't make him feel that anger. Again, I was in this same situation for a short time, and finally realized I needed to stop, and I haven't picked up a game since. Don't approach him when he's angry, do it after once he feels ridiculous and knows he should do something about the frustration. Hang in there, this is a serious and common problem but, most importantly, it can be fixed.

[Asker]

I will ask him that . I don't want him to stop playing games I want him to be aware that he is hurting people and make sure he wants to change that . I really want to fix it thank you so much.

[1diamond]

I don't want to worry you but I know someone who is exactly like this and it usually gets worse with time. He needs to see a doctor to discuss his obsession with winning because that's what it is.

[Slayde]

It sounds like he has serious anger issues. It's not okay for him to treat you that way, no matter what his reasons are.

[Asker]

I took it really easy the first time and I accepted his apology in a second because I don't want to loose him . If it happens again I don't know what I would do

[Slayde]

You've gotta stand up for yourself. You deserve to be respected.

[toulouse]

I agree. you can not let him do w/e because you don't want to lose him. dignity first. relationship second. if he can't respect you he is not really with you just an idea of you for his convenience. likewise if you can't respect you then you're not really you in which case its not a relationship.

the gaming is incidental. tell him he must respect you as a person if he wants to be with you as a bf.

your feelings are not second to his. if he can't control his feelings towards you. . he has no right to have yours.

[Asker]

alright I hope something like this situation won't happen again but I know for sure he will flip out. I won't let my self be easy next time. But when you love someone so much if they say they are sorry you just can't be against that:( at least I can't how can I keep distance?

[Slayde]

If he says he's sorry, that's good. If he says he's sorry but then doesn't change, that's bad.

[Asker]

He started to realize his actions and quit playing .. I told him to play for fun only and there is no point in playing games if he is just going to rage. He understood that now he is all okay :)

[HungryJones]

Sounds like you're dealing with a giant baby. He's gotta figure out how to control is temper, there isn't much you can do. It's his choice to throw a fit, it has to be his choice to control it.

[johnvanjohn]

tell him seriously/strictly: if you express such behavior again we ll have a serious problem. don't go light about it. he should be really messed up not to understand that...

[Asker]

I did go really light about it the first time.If I get heartbroken my throat locks itself and I can't say a thing :( I think I would just not talk to him if it happens again but that is no good.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

You're an idiot to stay with someone who cannot control his anger and emotions.

[Slayde]

She's not an idiot, and that wasn't helpful.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I said she was an idiot to stay with him. But thank you, sir knight.

[Anonymous]

am I the only one thinking "WHAT THE HELL do you see in this guy?"

[Asker]

because everything else about him is perfect for me. I love the way his mind thinks and creates stuff. I just can't handle this one flaw. I want to help him with it :(

[johnvanjohn]

to play a bit devil's advocate, have you thought how many things "HE want to help YOU with"? change yourself first and then "try to change your boyfriend". well have you ever thought why he prefers game to you? is it his fault? kick him away. is it your fault? get your ass down to see how you can deal with it...

[Anonymous]

He's not worth it anymore. You should just find a more caring and understanding guy.

[Iamnobody]

Go on a gaming rage with him.