He is yelling and saying bad words. It comes to a point where I switch rooms because it makes me stressed. After that, he comes and says sorry. I told him that I don't like him yelling that much. It really gives me headache. I don't understand why he keeps doing that.
I imagine for him, raging at the video games is a kind of catharsis where he’s able to take out his rage and stress at other things through a convenient format that allows him to without many consequences outside of your discomfort. You may not like it, and you have every reason to validly dislike the sound of him yelling at the video games, but it may be a necessary way for him to express his anger in a way that doesn’t necessarily hurt the ones he loves, at least not intentionally.
That said, you don’t have to stay there with him while he’s doing it and you’re free to set your own space up away from that.
Video games are just another form of entertainment through which people can exercise their expressiveness. No different than books, movies or television, especially sports programming given the competitive nature of the experience. This is how many men express themselves. Just because it’s different from how women do it, that doesn’t make it wrong. Stop making him feel bad about how he expresses himself. Unless he’s actually hurting you or trying to hurt you, it’s not your place to shame him and manipulate his behavior. Your sensitivity is your issue. You need to work through it without taking away his humanity. Give him a chance to help you work through it without shame.
It’s kind of unbelievable these things have to be said in 2024. We keep telling men that they should express themselves, and then punishing them when they do.
I used to be like this. I typically only get mad when my team could end the game, but they mess around and throw the lead and we lose. You have to remember that playing the game is supposed to be FUN first, then winning is secondary.
You can either get upset you lost, or think about what *you* as an individual player could've done differently to play better. You can't control the other players. Yelling at your team is never effective and the quickest way for them to mute you and be uncooperative. Encouraging them to do their best and expand the lead is one way to go about it.
However, your own attitude has to be strong, focused, positive and always strategizing for a win. This is an extremely potent life skill to learn about mindset, communication and leadership, if he is willing to learn it.
Sounds to menyour boyfriend is a men child. I don't blame you for it it gets annoying at a certian point. Only teenagers get angry and at a screen.
Navigating the stormy seas of video game rage, aren't we? 😜 Look, gaming can be an emotional rollercoaster. For some, it's a battlefield where defeats can hit harder than Cupid's arrow. Your partner might be diving headfirst into the game, treating every challenge like a duel to the death. The apology tour afterward? It shows he's aware but caught in the heat of battle.
Communication is your magic potion here. Sit down with him during a calm moment, maybe over a cozy cup of coffee, and express not just your discomfort but how it's affecting your peace of mind. Suggest some cool-down strategies for when the game gets too hot to handle - could be a quick walk, some deep breaths, or a change to a less intense game. Remember, it's about navigating this together, turning those gaming gripes into love levels up. Who knows, with a bit of teamwork, you might just find a way to level up your relationship game too. 😉
Opinion
22Opinion
Sounds like he is very competitive, hates to lose, yet he is losing in the video game.
It is probably good that he takes out his anger on the game, and not on you.
It's not uncommon for some people to get angry when playing video games, especially if the games are competitive or challenging. Here are a few reasons why your boyfriend might be experiencing anger during his gaming sessions:
Frustration: Video games often involve challenges that can be difficult to overcome, such as tough opponents, complex puzzles, or high stakes in competitive gaming. Repeated failures or perceived unfairness can lead to frustration, which might manifest as anger.
Competitive Nature: If the games are competitive, losing or feeling like he is not performing well can trigger anger, especially if he is very invested in his performance or identifies strongly with his success in the game.
Emotional Investment: Players often become emotionally invested in their games, and this can make setbacks feel more personal and impactful, leading to anger when things don't go as planned.
Escapism: For some, gaming is a form of escapism from daily stresses and problems. If the game becomes another source of stress instead of a relief, it can cause frustration and anger.
Poor Coping Mechanisms: If your boyfriend doesn't have effective ways to handle stress or frustration, he might express these feelings through anger when playing games.
Here are a few things that might help you:
Encourage Breaks: Taking regular breaks during gaming can help manage stress and reduce anger.
Discuss the Impact: Talk to him about how his anger affects you and possibly him.
Seek Alternatives: Suggest other activities that might be less anger-inducing or provide a healthy balance to his gaming.
Learn Stress-Management Techniques: Techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or even physical exercise can help manage anger more effectively.
Professional Help: If the anger is severe or spills over into other aspects of life, it might be helpful to consult a professional, like a therapist, who can offer strategies to manage anger more constructively.
I've been playing video games since I was in kindergarten and Windows 98 has been launched.
Earlier when I got angry it was usually due to many things from the gaming experience, that were not with the game itself but with the terrible quality of the gaming experience (most often it means in multiplayer lags, high ping and disconnects)
Most people don't like being defeated. Few can accept defeats. I used to be one of them in my very younger years.
Nowadays I aim to cut down how much time I spend playing video games (that is if I can't do anything else besides sleeping maybe) but I no longer get angry playing video games.
If I was wealthy, I could go days without playing video games. With wealth opens up way more opportunities.
For some people, we get invested in something. Some people see others behavior and get annoyed, which can lead to temper problems.
I get frustrated on the road. Peoples lack of attention frustrates me to no end. Cutting me off, side swiping me, purposely running lights that have been red for ten - twenty seconds - not itty bitty mistakes, but stuff that endangers my life or my possible finances (like almost causing a huge potential accident that could cost thousands to fix… that’s when I get more angry. I start cussing if I feel like someone is being a danger to me.
I don’t know any gamers that are not competitive. The more competitive they more so have a tendency to loose their temper when loosing in an online game against other gamers.
Regardless of that he should be able to tone it down as it’s not really healthy and accept that it’s just a game !!
I play videogames & have loads of rage at times when im heavily invested in the storyline or game, it’s natural to become frustrated but it’s not if he directs that anger into you or anyone else, if it’s just him being obnoxious you can always speak to him about his tone & working on being less aggressive.
Sounds like someone who has a temper problem.
Not big temper problem, but not being able to control himself when angry.
Maybe you could try to play something with him and pick things that doesn't cause him to get angry like that? Like playing Mario party or some racing game together?
My concern with this is aallowing yourself to get angry on a regular basis might make it more difficult to regulate later on. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a hobby, but I think constant anger (regardless of reason) isn't healthy. He might try balancing video games with some kind of mental discipline like meditation - as in removing himself, completely from the game, closing his eyes and counting his breathing for ten minutes or so.
So... I totally see how that looks from the outside and I understand why you'd be upset by it.
The thing is that video games are vices for stress relief. The yelling and swearing is actually part of that. Its a safe outlet for anger and aggression just blowing off steam. Most gamers a more relaxed, happier, and chipper when the game is over and they're done shouting at it. Guy and girl gamers both do this.
With the exception of hardcore and competetive gamers.
Sounds like he deals with more stress than he knows how to manage and the video games are a way for him to let it out without causing problems.
Could be worse, some guys get really into spending money on cars and driving them too fast.
I do the same when my team in Battlefield 1 is doing stupid things :D
It's called fun :D
That is likely his outlet to get rid of the bullshit he deals with all day. Better he lets it out at pixels than at you right?
I think everyone should game on a first date. It could shine a light on red flags before wasting too much time.
He’s just letting off steam, which is natural. If he was out on a field playing football etc., it would be the same thing.
I could never date a guy who plays video games, so I don't have any advice, except that you might need to consider that you aren't compatible.
It means don't disturb him while playing video games. He gets angry bcoz he loses the game if he is disturbed by you. It's a petty issue, it doesn't matter if you love him TMD. Focus on his good qualities not bad ones.
Sometimes you gotta love him for him, try playing the game with him. We all have different personalities with different things.
It's his god, to be quite frank, he needs a new God and his name is Jesus. Read the KJV
Dump him. If he can't control his anger over a game what's going happen in a real life situation?
I don’t condone violence and this is why I hate my brother playing the Xbox and he’s on 13
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