My girlfriend won't let me pay!

[Anonymous]

I love her a lot but I get annoyed she won't let me pay. She even got a job and now she has to balanceher job, volunteer work, yoga classes, cheer,school and her social life. She did this just so she can pay for me even though her life is already hectic. Even if I try to sneak money for her she notices and gives it back to me. Even when were eating out with my family she'll just order water if she forgot her wallet or everything's too expensive. I inherit money and I work at a coffee shop. So I have enough to pay. She won't even accept gifts that looks expensive and tells me I need to spend it on myself. How can I make her stop this? She needs to know I can pay and she doesn't have to work. I tell her but she tells me I should focus on spoiling myself.

[RedSmartie]

That's pretty sweet on both of your parts. You're both trying to be nice, which is good. You're not expecting things from each other and you're each standing on your own two feet. In my opinion, that's the best way for love to survive.

But if you really want to pay for her or buy her things, you have to ease yourself into it. Don't just start paying for everything. Pay for her things every now and then so she doesn't feel guilty and it's seen as special and sweet rather than just a regular thing. And when you start trying to pay for things, make it clear that you want to do it and aren't doing it just to look good or do your job as a boyfriend. Actually say, "I want to pay," or "please let me pay," when you offer. If she sees that you honestly do just want to be nice to her, she'll probably relent and let you.

[sugarjackj]

Tell her how you feel about the situation. Let her know that you are fine but its HER you're worried about. If she's not carefull she's going to burn herself out.

And when you buy her a present let her know that you will not take it back. Let her know that it upsets you that she can't even except a gift from you because she may be too proud.

Communication is key.

[nerfetiti]

your has control issues for her to feel better about herself is for he to incharge you need to tell her that it's OK to let someone be on the drivers seat once in a while

[maiez]

If she is paying for you then that's a problem, but its really good for her esteem and confidence when she pays for herself. You can't change it, but you just have to accept it because its helping make her self efficient and happier that way.

[Deviouscourage]

This is a beautiful thing.

Don't ruin it for the both of you.

As a matter of fact you should adapt and learn when to spoil her, Valentines day, birthday, Christmas, etc.

Make it rare and show dominance.

[sexyasianboi26]

Is that a problem? Man I wish I met girls who would insist me to not pay. Your girlfriend is a REAL woman, be glad.

[Anonymous]

you're inherited money will eventually run out.. are you planning to get a better job than the coffee shop? Maybe she feels bad taking your money.

[Asker]

I'm still in school... I plan on becoming a dentist...

[Anonymous]

It seems that she doesn't want to be impressed by you, and doesn't want to owe you anything.

[Anonymous]

Eh, you already offered and she refused

Make her an offer she can't refuse :p

[Anonymous]

Just let her pay. It's her wish.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you got an awesome girlfriend