My girlfriend never pays for anything, or offers to pay...

[Anonymous]

I have been going out with my girlfriend for a little over four months. For the most part, we both don't need to do anything big and could just enjoy spending time watching a movie on the couch.

However, when we do go out (at least once a week), she never pays for anything. If we go to a movie, I'll buy the tickets and then she'll look at me and ask for a drink and snacks. After she'll want to go out to eat something. All of that, she doesn't even offer to pay for any of it (not even the 'fake' offer). I mean, even for something like a soda when we're walking somewhere she would not buy but ask me to buy it.

It's not as if she doesn't work. She has a pretty good job and isn't hurting for money.

To be honest, it's quite annoying as it does feel like being taken advantage of. But I really don't know how to bring it up. It seems like such a awkward conversation..

[Darkfairie17]

I had a boyfriend who would always offer to pay. I felt bad for letting him all the time, so I would pay for things when I could. But you definitely need to talk to her. I find it kind of concerning that she is asking you to buy her stuff now :S

How I would approach her on this is tell her that you really enjoy spending time with her and like going out, but that money is kind of tight and if she would mind going dutch on the next date. Or if she would mind if you two had a cheap date night where you watched a movie at home and maybe cooked a nice dinner yourselves :) Offer up some alternatives. I do agree that a guy isn't solely responsible for paying for everything. A girl should be taking some initiative and either making a nice dinner or paying for some dates also.

[Asker]

It's not as much as money is tight as the feeling of being taken advantage of. I know that isn't true and I don't mind paying but it would be a nice gesture for her to at least offer every now and then, pay for something or get me something.

It's not much to do with doing cheaper things and all that. It's just the situation itself which I feel isn't right. So it's tougher to say it as it isn't as much as a financial issue as much as me having to take my wallet out for anything and everything.

[foolycooly1001]

You could find a situation to ask her to buy something for you. Maybe if you're at a movie, and she has to go to the bathroom, you could ask her to grab some popcorn. If she asks for money, ask her don't you have some.

[Asker]

I thought of something similar but that seems too much like trying to avoid the question while asking it. Seems like it would be better to face the issue head on, problem is it feels like such an awkward thing to bring up. Like I'll feel like an idiot talking about it...

[foolycooly1001]

yeah it would, but you already said you're awkward about it. either do some trick, or be upfront about it. I'm not sure what you want as advice other than that.

[01bimmer85]

i say the next time she wants to go out tell her you can't afford it right now.. if she really wants to go she'll offer to pay.