My girlfriend never offers to pay for the date. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Hey all, I got a girlfriend, she’s perfect for me in every way but there’s a small hiccup, she never offers to pay for anything and always expect me to pay. Now if she was financially struggling I would understand but she has the same salary as me, and we both earn several times the minimum wage so we aren’t exactly struggling.

She never ever pays and at the end of the last one I told her next one is on her and she was like ok.

I’m not stingy and I’m not going to go without food but it’s one thing that’s bugging me

[Anonymous]

I lost 4 stone by age 20 and have kept it off. Down from 19 stone to 15.

What I learned was to eat a single good meal a day. Fill up on salad, rice, vegetables usually steamed. Eat fresh fish, turkey or chicken grilled with every meal or eggs. Some fruit or nuts. Eat soup preferably homemade vegetable soup or porridge.

No dairy products, no breads, no sugar, no soda pop or energy drinks, no processed meat. Use portion control. Potatoes but maybe only with Sunday dinner and even then very few, same with other starchy veg. Only eat pork chops, beef or lamb once on a Sunday.

Drink black coffee to suppress hunger, a meal replacement shake helped me for a while. Learned to drink tea without milk, plenty of green tea and camomile tea at night.

Sometimes I reward myself with a pizza, steak, beer etc but if I do it's the best pizza or piece of steak or beer.

I exercise minimum 4 times a week on average. Mixing cardio, weights HIIT, swimming or whatever.

We've been taught from a young age that we need minimum 3 square meals a day when that is simply not through and in America we are taught we have to eat huge quantities of supersized fast foods washed down with a bucket of chicken. I wasn't fat in my youth because of genetics and no exercise it was because my parents overfed me too much of the wrong foods from a young age and let me sit around the family home doing nothing but playing ex box. But late in high school after bullying from other kids and being turned down for dates i started to work towards change. Exercising helped a bit but had it limits, like I must have been the fittest fat kid alive, it was only when I changed my diet that things started going my way. Was so proud when I got my six pack and the girls I wasn't good enough for were all over me ages 16-30. Never had so much sex in my life. I'm grateful to those bullies, they showed me I was living an immoral lifestyle and deserved their ridicule, those girls who turned me down because I was fat were right, how would they value me if I did value myself and make myself worth dating.

[Light909090]

Turn the tide Move the water around with a wooden spoon and throw a tactical outfit on and tell her using strictly Tactical words that Since she has always been refusing making you pay For everything she now is going to pay you back by Buying you anything you ask for if she loves you she will do it If she doesn’t Well find yourself a new hot 🥵 girlfriend because you will know if girlfriend doesn’t love you. Love has no bounds love having a bound is just a rock 🪨 in the road begging to be tripped over And when someone Trips over the rock 🪨 that’s when Drama sets in and a leg gets bloody the leg being the Stress the girl causes you the rock in the road being the universe saying hey I’ll just wait here till problems arise the ground being The end of the relationship. That’s why relationships are always going to be doomed from the beginning because people just aren’t evolved enough the universe Figured we Weren’t cool enough to keep on evolving instead we get the universe Hanging out till something bad happens and waiting for it to takes it’s course after all that’s how nature the universe works it waits around let’s things happen
The universe is based on Logic it’s based on Compatibility Of knowing yourself and your surrounds be an idiot the universe will Treat you like an idiot by causing you trouble.


Best of luck to you captain steel beard

[Topaz1979]

look its 2022 most women can earn a living for themselves so she should be paying for the meals as well, paying for a meal as a woman will not make you any less feminine, if she was not making much money I would understand but if she is then she should pay as well and treat you too as her man.

The reason why men payed for dates traditionally was because in the past women did not make much money but now many of us can make money so that rule should not keep applying. I would be embarrassed if my man always payed for me on dates and I would offer to pay and treat him to a free meal as well because he's my love right?

[Paul09]

Thank you. Great answer. Need more women like you

[Topaz1979]

@Paul09 Thank you!😊

[Pinay_ako]

It’s funny when I’m in a relationship, I like to pay for my man. Although he also argues why do I pay ? But when I’m not in a relationship, men always insist to pay and I have to argue with them a lot 😂 coz I want to pay for myself or pay for him too.

[melanieeeB]

Lmaoo I feel that haha

[Zolly99999]

A gentleman always pays... at least in my world.😁😁😁

[Pinay_ako]

@Zolly99999 even when you’re not dating her? Like a co worker

[Pinay_ako]

@melanieeeB you do that too? I just feel like I don’t wanna owe anyone if you know what I mean

[Zolly99999]

Yes.. it's just something I do..

[Zolly99999]

And yes... I expect nothing in return..

[melanieeeB]

Yupp and I also don't wanna feel like I'm using someone for money, even tho this isn't the case at all but I just feel so guilty hahah

[Paul09]

@Zolly99999 So if that makes you a "gentleman" what does that make her? I just see 2 adults, I don't see sexes. One isn't more entitled than the other.

[Paul09]

Strange men you meet lol. If you offer great, in my adult 2022 opinion.

[Zolly99999]

@Paul09 it's old school thinking on my part..

[Zolly99999]

@Paul09 nothing is expected or implied.. it's just how I roll.

[Paul09]

@Zolly99999 old school? You weren't even born I. The 50s , when women didn't have jobs, or had low paying jobs. Spoiling anyone never works out in The end. Time to evolve. You make it sound like women can't find for themselves. You like to treat her that's fine, but not letting her treat you is kind of degrating.

[Zolly99999]

@Paul09 I grew up with it with grand parents, aunts and uncles , my parents. Etc. Plus I came from a small town that was a few years behind in the times lol

[Jenny-Marie]

Not like my Filipina girlfriend! Once when I was with her in Hong Kong she was buying a rather expensive perfume. When I said I'd get it for her, she put it back on the shelf and got a bigger one. I was gobsmacked

[exitseven]

I always pay. It is just the way it is.

[Pinay_ako]

@exitseven yea but I’d also insist. Can’t be one sided all the time.

[exitseven]

@Pinay_ako it would be cool if some girl offered to pick up the tab for me. Well , actually i had a long distance relationship and the rules were that whoever spends all that money for a plane ticket didn't have tp pay for anything else for the whole week.

[Pinay_ako]

@exitseven I like that arrangement

[exitseven]

yeah, it was usually me that flew out to see her.

[Pinay_ako]

@exitseven that’s nice…

[exitseven]

I was an idiot.

[Pinay_ako]

@exitseven why what happened

[exitseven]

@Pinay_ako Well, she just did not take the relationship very seriously. She said she loved me and we talked about marriage but to her I was just a fashion accessory. Sorry if this is creepy.

[Pinay_ako]

@exitseven nah it’s not… her loss!

[melanieeeB]

I know if I would be with a man who always expects me to pay, I wouldn't. I don't understand that.

But I thankfully never had that, with everyone, no matter if I was dating him or just with friends, it was always clear that it's not okay to be living off of someone.

Like I don't like splitting bills but we always just like one time I will pay, the other him and so on and like with my ex I never counted how often who paid what, but it was never just one person and I guess I did pay more often for him but don't take my word for that tho

[melanieeeB]

Oh you should definitely seek a conversation with her tho

[Asker]

Wait you paid more for your man than he did for you?

[melanieeeB]

Sure, well I think I did, cause he always said that he owes me money but I really didn't keep track but yeah I think it's normal that both pay in a relationship

[Asker]

Welll done. It’s not who pays more but the idea that matters.

[Asker]

She only wants fancy restaurants too, like in central london or other places, my bill has been well over £250 once 😂😂

[melanieeeB]

Yeah like said, talk to her... £250 is a damnn lot

[Paul09]

I like the way you think. Respect

[Screenwriter]

"Next one is on you," doesn't sound like you're actually complaining about what you're complaining in your statement.

You need to sit down with her and have a conversation about her expectations that only YOU pay for dates. This isn't anything new. It's been going on since you're been dating: awhile now. And since you never complained before, she thinks everything is OK.

You have to explain it isn't and it's never been. You have to ask her why she thinks you should pay for all the dates you two share when you make the same amount of money.

And according to whether she feels that it's fair that you both pay for dates, you might have to look elsewhere for a person to be with. Money is one of the top two reasons couples break up. Good luck.

[therealadamreed44]

If she was brought up in a family like mine with parents that grew up in the 70's then she's going to be like my sisters.


Me and my sisters were taught from a young age that when you go out for dinner with a girlfriend or a female friend, it is the responsibility of the man to always pay the bill and that a woman should never have to pay for a meal which was eaten in public.


I know that sounds sexist and unequal in this day and age but back when our parents were young that's how society was and things like equality didn't exist and especially with my parents, they struggle to move forward with the times so if her parents are like mine then her mind concept will be the same.

[MzAsh]

If she’s a more traditional girl then having the guy pay might be a value of hers. If she’s not very traditional then you’ll likely have more success in getting her to pay sometimes. Regardless, it’s worth having a discuss about. And I’d advise to make it a real discuss, not just “next one is on you” because that sounds bossy.

[Anonymous]

It's standard protocol that men pay for dates. When you have to deal with another human being pushing themselves into you for their enjoyment and no real guarantee that you'll orgasm, though they always do... Then we will pick up the tab lol.

I can't tell you how many dates I've gone home from disappointed and frustrated. Many times I look back and think it was a waste of my time and the only saving grace is that I got dinner.

Besides, we have to pay for nails, makeup, getting our hair done, getting pretty for you guys is expensive, that's how we peacock... Paying for dinner, especially somewhere nice is how men peacock.

[Paul09]

Nobody told you have to buy stuff and paste them all over your body. That's your choice. What happened to equal rights? You both work hard for your money. That's a 50's mentality. We are in 2022.

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 society says we have to... We may be in 2022 but most men still want their women made up, whether they realize it or not... Society, through all manner of things like advertising, tells women that if we have any blemishes we MUST cover them... And you only addressed part of my opinion.

[Paul09]

F society. You do you. You do you , f what others tell you to do. And screw these "men" , toxic men. This isn't the 50s and people need to get rid of that off mentality. Men treating women like objects. No, not just you. Whom ever says these things. Wish people would feel more comfortable in their natural self.

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 unfortunatelt that is not a tenable position if you have any aspirations to succeed in this world while owning a vagina... Wish it was

[Paul09]

It really isn't. Confidence shines stronger.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

You are over exaggerating here. I can understand if your girlfriend was always asking you to buy her stuff or asking you for money but isn't doing that.

You by your own admission said she's perfect for you every way which tells me this woman is a good woman according you.

You as a man should feel good you are taking care of your woman.

Don't listen to YouTube (if you watch such nonsense) red pills bitter and lonely idiots which can cause you to ruin a good relationship you have.

[20yearsolder]

I haven't dated for a long time but here's what I can tell you from my experience. I never asked a woman ever to pay for a meal or going to the movies. I was honored that she was willing to go with me. If I couldn't afford to pay for something at the time, then we found something else to do that was cheaper.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

If you've always paid and never made it clear it's a special thing she shouldn't get used to, it's not entirely unexpected... But it's odd she never offered to pay.

If you're envisioning a future with her, make a point to talk about finances. It'll either open her eyes to how her fiscal laziness has made you feel, or she'll show her true colours and reveal she only wanted to date you for free shit.

[WindAtMyBack]

I'm fairly traditional when it comes to relationships. But even for me "the guy pays" should only be during the courting stage unless she is actively a housewife and the man is the sole breadwinner.

If you are both making decent money, I don't see a reason for the guy to continue paying for everything. Tradition is fine when it has a meaning and reason, but when it's tradition just for the sake of tradition and nothing else, then it breaks down.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend pays for everything because that’s his choice, but if he felt some sort of way about it then I’d hope he would tell me. So for you, when you’re buying everything and not speaking up then she won’t feel like it’s a problem. That’s why you should express this, otherwise she won’t know.

[spartan55]

@OpinionOwner
Maybe your boyfriend isn't speaking up about it. Enjoy your free ride.

[Opinion Owner]

@spartan55 free ride? Lol that’s what men do. He knows good and well he could speak up, and it’s not like I demand him pay for everything, that’s his choice to treat me like a princess☺️

[spartan55]

What men do? So he is getting a free ride? Wtf?
"He knows good and well he could speak up" Doesn't mean he will, and he may not want to deal with you, so he doesn't.
"it's not like I demand him pay for everything" Wow, that is SO nice of you! I'm sure you offer all the time to maybe pickup the drinks or something, right? You have no shame. Like I said, enjoy your free ride and your Yes man.

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly, what prompts you to get on here and be so rude, flatly sarcastic and cast your negativity upon people unwarranted? You’re an older man, so I’m sure you feel like you’ve been around the bend and know everything about everything, but you don’t. We are adult individuals acting on our free will. I’ve been in this relationship for almost years, and surprisingly with no flukes or issues, we are very open with each other, and encourage one another to say what’s on our minds. It took work to get here, but that’s where we are. Maybe your ex was some wicked leech of a woman that forced you to hold your tongue on important matters, but that’s not how MY relationship works. Keep in mind that what I eat does not upset your stomach, so don’t invade my comment shoving your judgment in my face. My boyfriend is perfect, protective and far from a yes man. He’s a provider and was raised to take care of his woman. That’s his own choice. Sorry if you’ve been so wronged in your life you’re just spiteful and negative to strangers, but guess what Spartan? Once I close this app I go back to a wonderful blessed life. Wonder what you go back to? can't be great with an attitude like that.

[spartan55]

That's great. Anything else?

[Opinion Owner]

Yep, mind your tongue next time you choose to come at someone randomly, and I hope you have an awful night☺️

[spartan55]

Lol..😂 . yeah tell me what to do. Go boss your boyfriend around instead...

[Opinion Owner]

What makes you think anyone gets bossed around? I mean according to your comment on here, you seem to have had that dynamic, and quietly fumed until you were forced to break up? Being a silent man is your choice, but there’s no need to project that mentality into others. You don’t know my boyfriend so stop throwing out random assumptions of his character.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s incredibly bold and strange of you to create personality traits for living people in your mind.

[Staximus]

Do you ever do nice stuff for him?

[Opinion Owner]

@staximus absolutely! I’m fortunate enough to have a really good job, and I’ve paid for many things, but it’s not about the money.:

[spartan55]

@OpinionOwner
"it's incredibly bold and strange of you to create personality traits for living people in your mind"...

but it's okay for YOU to assume that I used to be a 'silent man, ' and then proceed to ramble on about some previous relationship of mine and how I must be projecting... are you fucking serious? Do you know how hypocritical and stupid you sound? GTFOH
I never assumed anyone got bossed around over there. YOU bossed ME, so I laughed at YOU, and told you to try that shit on your boyfriend. Understand the distinction? Apparently not.

[Opinion Owner]

And you’re bullying me so wtf are you on about? And I did nothing but repeat your own words, not assume lol sorry I should’ve said “silent”, not quiet, but you wrote that narrative down yourself.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s just weird, even under my comment above, you literally wrote “go boss your boyfriend around instead”... like are you ok? Do you have dementia?

[Opinion Owner]

So presumptuous of you to comment and write your own narrative of someone’s life, then get all up in arms as you are now as if I sought you out and bullied you as you have with me lol maybe you need to take your own advice for once and gtfo☺️

[spartan55]

God, you're still talking? Go clean the kitchen or something.

[Opinion Owner]

“You need to have a discussion with her about it. I had a girlfriend like that in my 20's. Instead of discussing it with her I silently fumed, and ended up dumping her “

For reference, you silent man☺️

[Opinion Owner]

Lol you want my attention, so what do you expect? Just stop commenting, it’s easy.

[Opinion Owner]

“God you’re still talking?” As if I went to you! Lmao you’re under MY comment stop acting like a crazy old man.

[spartan55]

Yeah THIRTY YEARS AGO. I own my shit pink anon, and don't hide behind anon and talk shit... so sorry ass. My, lunch ready yet?

[spartan55]

There's that bossing thing again... you're a joke pink anon. Come out from under your rock and trade shots with me... yeah right.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol oh no the anonymous shade! Whatever shall I do?😂 you have nothing of value or worth to say. You’re not even on topic anymore, just trying to shade me. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was, you still wrote it and that will be my reference point of you, as a strange man who attacks women online because he doesn’t agree with their lifestyle. I pray so much that when I’m in my 50s, I’m never as bitter and spiteful as you.

[Opinion Owner]

You own your shit yet wrote about how I’m “assuming” what you literally wrote. Like I said, dementia. Must suck going downhill like that.

[Opinion Owner]

Is your lunch ready lol who are you? Why would I cook my amazing food for a dirty old geezer like yourself? My boyfriend however, his breakfast lunch and dinner is ready every day☺️

[spartan55]

The old man insults... how original... dumbass. Find an insult that is.01% original and you set yourself apart from the countless pink anons. So I'm bullying you... poor victim... so what are you doing then. Again a hypocrite. You have zero self awareness, but you probably don't even know what that is.

[spartan55]

Your 'amazing food'... yeah I'm sure.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m responding to the comments of an old man who took it upon himself to harass me for my comment. How could you possibly talk about originality, when you had the most unoriginal comment on GAG by coming for my anonymity? Are you dense? Or maybe just lack the ability to think for yourself and come up with your own shit? Go away, honestly. No one invited you here yet you keep attacking me like I sought you out.

[Opinion Owner]

Just stop talking man lol really. Like I said, you aren’t even on the topic you created, just insulting me because I’m not taking your shit😂

[Chazmatazz269]

If you have a problem with it, you need to bring it up to her directly. Especially if she’s important to you. Otherwise you’re going to build resentments that will poison a relationship you’ve just described as “nearly perfect”. Me? I’d bounce. There’s no way a woman like that actually respects and appreciates a man if she refuses to treat him on occasion. She’s a taker, and if you’re not comfortable being the giver, it’s not going to work out.

[Hairylegs222]

Gold digger sign. A good woman would pay for the check on her own taking turns, or pay for herself sometimes, etc. Not just watch the guy pay everytime and sit there quietly doing nothing. I've been there done that experiencing different women. Some took the checks and others sat like a gold digger doing nothing.

[Anonymous]

You don't anything. If you earn less than 400k you don't earn anything. It doesn't matter what she earns. She could have a spending problem and still end up pay check to pay check. This is something you both need to talk about. Don't just demand that she pay. Understand why she doesn't. It is obviously something internal.

[maximumpower]

Recommend you set a precedence now.
Simply tell her - next date is your choice, your treat.
If she balks, you don't want her around much longer.
I had a wife like that. She was fine while dating but I was relocated for work soon after we married. She quit her middle management job and - though promised to get back to work as soon as possible - never even looked for a legitimate job thereafter. While she did pull in money, none of it ever went to the common good or was shared.

[Paul09]

That's a huge hiccup. For me anyway. Seems very one sided. Just dont go out till she comes up with a plan and pays for it. If she continues, wow seems very entitled of her. Disrespectful. Is she better than you? Like what is up with that? I just do not get her logic.

[cloud9vortex1234]

She should be able to pay her way more. I think it was right of you to mention it. If she makes a big deal about this then she might just be with you for the free stuff. I would talk about it with her. She could also have a lot of debt she owes that you don't know about.

[dustybiker]

So next time you go out ask for two bills..

[HighValue]

Talk to her about it. Point out how unfair it is. If you don't speak up now, it will stay that way. If she gets upset at all for you wanting her to contribute, she is just a user and not relationship material.

[Avicenna]

Well, she's got the income, but is it possible she has some serious debt she didn't tell you about?

Otherwise have a talk with her about your expectations because hers may be quite different on this topic.

[spartan55]

You need to have a discussion with her about it. I had a girlfriend like that in my 20's. Instead of discussing it with her I silently fumed, and ended up dumping her