Possible to win over a womanizer?

[Anonymous]

I recently started talking to an awesome guy, who is 4 years older than me and has a child. He is a great father and is settled in his life. I'm 22, and still have a few years until I am done with school. I'm hoping to get into the Physician Assistant program, which is 28 months. It's been about a year since I have dated, because I couldn't seem to get over my ex. I finally opened up to this guy, and really could see us together. We connected physically and emotionally. He was in the war Iraq, and it had been about 2 years since his divorce with his wife. He swore up and down he didn't love her, but he admitted he was a womanizer and just seemed to push women away because he was scared to get hurt. I was scared too, because this was the first time I opened up to any guy in a llooongggg time. We spent an awesome night together, and then the next two days he didn't respond. I knew something was up and I asked him if he really did want a relationship with me, or if he was just using me. He said he did, but he said he didn't think we would make a good match because I didn't have life "figured out". Clearly I do! He said that were at two different points in our life, and that I'm not settled in my life. I understand I'm 22 and I still have school, but it seemed like an excuse. I know that I could have made him very happy, but somehow he is making excuses to push me away. I knew what I was getting into, that he is pretty screwed up, but I really felt like he was worth it. I still do, but I know there is nothing I can do. I need some advice on how to tackle this and take it in. I know I haven't known him for very long, but something felt right with him. Something that I have never felt with anyone before, and I'm not exactly the type of girl to obsess over a situation like this.

[classy101]

This is normal. You meet a guy, know him for a short period of time and then . . . it all ends. The guy makes up excuses that sound legitimate when in reality he just isn't into you. It sounds harsh, I know, but that 's how guys are. He knew he wasn't into you before the night you were together. And it sounds bad but his intentions were to keep you around until he got whatever it is he wanted.

This is how some guys are. It just happened to me! And it HURTS. Because you're a good person, with a good heart.

So try to do what I do, get busy doing something other than obsessing over him. He ain't coming back. That's a good thing. He's not what YOU really want either anyway because all he's offering is heartbreak hotel stays.

So take your time and be sad, but you'll get over it. Get back into the dating scene, as hard as it may be. Just try dating for fun! Don't rush into something thinking it's automatically serious.

Give a little less, and you'll have a lot less to regret in the end until you find the right person.

[Asker]

You are so right! He isn't worth the time.

[Anonymous]

i would play hard to get and act hot and cold. make him spend time with me to get to now me a lot

[kheserthorpe]

I think you are wrong. You couldn't have made him very happy, because he isn't ready for a monogamous relationship.

Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my gut.

[bruvleigh]

he did TELL you he was a womanizer and you expected to change him...

[Anonymous]

i think you would have expected him to change

[Anonymous]

it is pretty hard