My boyfriend doesn't want me to go out clubbing?

[Anonymous]

I have never cheated on my boyfriend, never been sneaky with him or anything. But every time I tell him that I'm going out he talks about how he doesn't want me to drink, be around guys (because they will hit on me). He gets stressed and all serious. I really don't understand it.. why? What can I do for him to be more confident with the though of me go out?

[Theguyoverthere]

Because you're going to be placing yourself in a bad situation where something will happen. Guys go to clubs to "pick up chicks for sex." So each guy you talk to is going to be testing to see if you'll have sex with him. Some guys will be subtle and others will be very outright about it not only with their words but even immediately start groping you while you're dancing with not a single care of your relationship status.

I've seen a plenty at bars years ago when I used to meet people at them. Fights would break out, people would argue, bouncers would be escorting people out. Couples would fight. Windows would get broken. People would be giving head in the women's bathroom. It gets ugly.

Alcohol impairs judgment not just for you but for everyone. You will get hit on a lot at a club so throw in that "laid back buzz" with that guy's advance and you're pretty much going to have that story "you regret."

Granted you're in the age range where people do that stuff the most, I personally say avoid clubs but if you really want to go have him join you then. Otherwise he's going to be wondering about each night you do go to the club.

[filiasan]

This.

[Alphabear]

That what they all said. They never cheated on won't cheated. Until oppprtunity present itself. I fucked a lot of party /club girls. Which have husband, boyfriend, date. Even lesbian. Do they plan to fuck me before i went there? No. Its because they let themselves

[EmeraldSky]

He must be insecure which probably indicates that, for some reason, he is threatened by oher guys. So the idea of you going out to the club causes him stress because perhaps he has some fear that some other guy is going to be there and have what he doesn't and that guy will catch your interest.

Sadly, you can't really make someone else confident. There are little things you can try to do to help them gradually build their self-esteem, but actually having that confidence is soemthing THEY absolutely have to instill on their own.

[Troian]

As EmeraldSky said, he's probably insecure. A friend of mine dated for three years a guy like that. She could go to club but he was the same thing. Each time she told him she talked to another man, he kept asking question and didn't like her being around guys. Problem? she did nothing wrong.
He probably won't change that and to be honest, it easily become oppressing.

[Chokeonthiscinnamon]

Get out, it's Narcissistic abuse. This is how it starts, it's all about control.

Get away, it's not cute, he's not jealous this is his way of controlling you, a major red flag.

If he can't trust you, end the relationship now before you will suffer and loose everything and everyone