Guys, I don't believe that Samsquanch, the Loch Ness Monster, 911, or the Ukrainian war are real, but I'm still on the fence about soccer moms. Agree?

[Gummy_Cluster]

Is it true? I'm not a mom, and no soccer team would want me. But I do play soccer with my brother's dog, and she always wins. Please don't reply about politics, and if you don't understand this question, move on.

[SnowedIn]

Clearly, my dear Gummy, you shouldn't be on the fence.

They're real.

And, pictures aside (the soccer bikini is cute by the way) anyone who's really watched a mom back a Honda Odyssey into a parking place at a crowded public park, unload 7 stinky teenagers (gender is irrelevant), marshall them like Eisenhower did forces before D-Day, and still have a smile and witty repartee with the other moms -- that is erection engendering hot.

(I think Nessie is real too. Just not hot.)

[Gummy_Cluster]

Mr. Snow, you're way too fucking good at this. lol You seriously should write dating profiles. And the gender you write for won't matter. Just pick the gender, and make them humble.

Fred: I love women, but I hate shopping with them. After two hours they come out of the dressing room and ask if I like the blue dress or the red dress. You would think that I had a 50% chance of giving the right answer, but I lose every time. Why am I even there? What purpose do I serve? Why can't I just stay home and watch porn like normal guys?

Sally Jo: I don't know why, but I like older men. My last husband was 130 years old, and was worth millions. It broke my heart when he fell off that cliff. But seriously, I don't want your money, I just want to be able to hold your remote control. I'll be gentle with it. But there's no way in hell we're watching a movie with Chuck Norris, or Arnold Schwarzenegger. That would be one of those situations where you have to choose.
1. A bottle in front of me.
2. A frontal lobotomy.

Either would work.

[SnowedIn]

I'd tell Fred to tell her that she looks gorgeous in anything on her body.

[Gummy_Cluster]

The problem is, she won't believe it. lol

[Paul_in_Indy]

I don’t think you understand what soccer moms are.

[Paul_in_Indy]

but I am intrigued by this Samsquanch you mention.

[Gummy_Cluster]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJphX1WtVSY

They're real, and I've seen a few.

[Pudsmucker]

Wow, those are real soccer moms. They don't look like the professional soccer moms that we have here in Kansas City. But that's okay.

[Gummy_Cluster]

It must be nice living in Kansas City.

[CubaPirate]

They didn't look like that when I was a junior soccer coach unfortunately

[Gummy_Cluster]

Back then were they all named Karen?

[CubaPirate]

No 🤣🤗🤣

[Wise4myage]

Soccer moms are very real lol.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Thanks for having a sense of humor. There ain't much of that on this site.

[Wise4myage]

You're welcome, and I agree. Humor seems to be missing from this site for a very long time.

[Wise4myage]

The third soccer mom looks more real. :)

[Gummy_Cluster]

I like the second pic. I told a joke on here that no one understood. It was a joke from another member, but it would be a hate crime to mention her.

A dog and cat were arguing about if humans like dogs better or cats.

Dog: They love dogs better, because they named a body part after us.
Cat: What part?
Dog: The canine tooth.
Cat: Buddy, you're not going to win this argument.

It's beyond comprehension why that joke needs to be explained. lol

[Wise4myage]

Hahaha.😽

[Wise4myage]

Yeah she is hot.

I once saw a dog chasing a cat, and it was so hot they were both walking.🥺

[Wise4myage]

I wonder if soccer moms let guys score daily and often.😛

[Gummy_Cluster]

No, those stupid goalies prevent it.

[Wise4myage]

Not always lol

[Gummy_Cluster]

They call them "puck blockers."

[Carguy600]

They are pretty 😍