I know how much people love to be in love.. although I've never experienced an all consuming love myself. I've realized that a number of people are in such a hurry to fall in love, that they don't stop to consider whether they're ready for it. Here are my thoughts on "Me Time" and the benefits it can bring to our relationships.
In no particular order:
1. Time to fall in love with yourself
Sustaining a relationship takes time and emotional energy. What better time to recharge and regroup than when you have your heart to yourself. I remember how unsatisfying my first 2 relationships were and in hindsight, it was mostly my fault. It's not like we fought or were toxic or anything. I just wasn't in an emotionally healthy place. I was insecure, reserved, and acted more like a friend than a girlfriend if that makes any sense. Aside from the physical stuff, I wasn't very receptive to romantic affection on an emotional level. Taking a break from relationships and working on myself has really strengthened my self-esteem, given me time to map goals, and given me the ability to enter a relationship as a partner as opposed to the uncertain/apathetic girl I once was.
2. Time to prioritize and set standards (within reason)
When you're one half of a whole, it can be very hard to realize what you want vs what you want to do in order to please your S/O. I have a few friends who have confessed their confusion over their emotions to me. They'll claim that they love *insert bf/gf's name* but that they can't stand the person. They say that they're unhappy and can't pinpoint why. As an objective observer, I've noticed that a lot of these friends compromised on their main values very early on in the relationship.
When things inevitably ended, they'd rush into the next relationship trying to fill the void that the last one left and running into the same exact obstacles.
Time alone can be healing and informative. When you live a bit on your own, it becomes easier to determine what YOUR boundaries are and what YOU want from your life. Adopt a pet or 2 if you want some serious companionship. There's no shame in wanting that extra affection.
3. Time to experience life as an individual thinker/being
As unflattering as it is to admit, pack mentality/"Groupthink" is a thing. As I mentioned in point 2, It can get hard to determine who really wants what when you spend enough time with another person. That's why it's so important to find a partner who's values/personality are compatible with your own. How can you find a compatible match if you don't know who you are, though?
I've had so many girls cry to me that they "don't know who they are" now that they've lost so and so. No shade to my girls, they're just more expressive about their feelings.
Taking some time to learn your wants/needs will be time well spent.
Lastly
The road to self-discovery can be brutal but it's so worth it. Learning about yourself is the only way to improve yourself. That personal growth is a sign of and leads to more self-love. When I started making an effort to become a more positive, kind, appreciative person.. I received that same energy from the people around me. Mostly because I refused to entertain anything less but still lol. Learning to #LoveYourself puts you at a unique advantage. It allows you to set the precedent for how the world treats you.
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