How will you save your marriage?

[Shreya_bj_Shiry]

Suppose you both are fighting over things you want from each other. Blaming each other. Your partner continuesly talking about past things even when you are ready to let it go

[TCredo]

From your other comments here, sorry you are dealing with stuff like this. I am far from a relationship expert lol... but one thing I've noticed from mine and others is the importance of letting the past be the past. Fortunately my wife is that way as am I - but I have friends who either ended up divorced or are still in shitty situations because of that issue.

I wish you well with trying to get things sorted - and I am sure you have had a heart to heart with him and I am not a fan of ultimatums but you should make it clear to him that if there is to be a future and how good or bad that future can be is based on how we learn from the past but we do not dwell or regret or hold it against someone. You cannot change the past - you have to accept it and move on.

All the best :)

[mstbooblover]

No idea if this is really going to save a marriage, but it certainly will help if both partners only focus on the one problem at hand, and try to listen to what the other is actually trying to say. Refering constantly to past problems and reproaches about them will only make things worse.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Tell him he needs to forget the past and let go otherwise it’s not gonna work

[Shreya_bj_Shiry]

And what if no matter how many times you tell him he just can't stop talking about past.

[Gwenhwyfar]

You may need to think about finding a new guy

[Shreya_bj_Shiry]

That's not the option actually. No matter how toxic it is somehow i am not ready to let it go

[Gwenhwyfar]

I understand. What do u wanna do?

[Shreya_bj_Shiry]

I don't even know at this point. I this relationship to anyhow. And don't know how to fix things.

[Shreya_bj_Shiry]

Actually I know how things can be fixed but he is not giving a chance

[Gwenhwyfar]

I hope he gives u a chance and u guys are able to fix things

[rosemilk]

why bother trying to save it when only 1 person puts in the effort?

[Shreya_bj_Shiry]

It's not just his fault. We both have done and said horrible things in past

[AndrésC64]

Been there, done that. She was constantly bringing up issues from the past and would not let it go. Both people have to be willing or it's just not going to work. I suggested couples counseling, but she wouldn't do it. I suggested individual counseling, which I did, but she didn't. I tried everything I could think of. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[krin_m]

Talk calmly in a neutral non-sexual environment (such as a park, a private booth in a restaurant). But first you both must agree that you want to save the marriage.
aslo keep focus on your true emotions except anger and do not play the blame game.

[GingerGuy]

Sounds like deeper issues, and maybe need therapy? Has it always been this way? Maybe you should've never got married to them to begin with? Or got married way too quickly? Sounds like compatibility issues more than anything.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Some thing that is true that I've notice is that if the damage isn't too big, communication can always help clarify both point of views which is always more understandable when you got both perspectives

[nawtee_me]

relationships take work and if everyone involved fight and argue instead of working on the relationship it won't last...

[Bklynbadboy12]

I'd make them remember why they fell in love in the first place and get back to the basics get back to loving each other

[DJB72]

Fucked if I know

Sounds like there's no actual communication. You need to restore that or quit before you hate each other

[Waldoe]

sometimes the hurt runs so deep... you cannot change it... discuss the possiblity... honestly

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Just draw them towards you , and kiss them everytime they say something

And make them tired by fucking the wits out of them 😜🤣

[Not_Average]

Be selfless. Give more. Communicate more effectively.

[Hanrej]

You don't. What's worth saving about such a marriage?

[Guanfei]

Well, fix it by making concessions, see what you can give each other now, and not in the past.

[jimmy2]

Forgiveness of oneself, with their love one and between them and God and clean didi I say yes clear communication to each other

[gggnnnbvb]

These things can be situation specific and what things were there.. but, yes agreeeing together to move ahead is the only way I would say..

[Tstrbrainer]

Well, it depends on what those past things are and how important it is for the other person

[Guy13]

Are you Christian or Secularist?

[rabbitzzz]

What happened in the past?

[Shreya_bj_Shiry]

Fights. Really bad fights

[Zebadee88]

Arbitration or give up.

[Jamie05rhs]

You go to marriage counseling.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

I'm against the concept of marriage

[ashish804]

may be he got bored and trying reasons to breakup

[Rahul8124]

Talk it out is the solution