What can I do with my marriage?

[Anonymous]

My husband (29m) and I (29f) have been married for almost 6 months. For context, my husband's family called me a gold digger and my BIL said I married my husband for the money although my parents literally bought a house for my husband and I to live in. The issue is my husband doesn't stand up for me, he smilesld and cheered his brother on to talk to me like. I felt humiliated and defeated.

Its been a month and I haven't spoken to his family since but my husband has still been staying over at their place for 3-4 days every 2 weeks. Sometimes he goes there during weekends and since he works long hours I don't spend any quality time with him.

It's now gotten to the point where he spends a week there, and only a week with me. He said I have to "deal with it" if I can't get along with his family, but that's not going to stop him from spending 50% of the time there.

I'm literally sick of giving myself false hope and I'm not sure what to do.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that sounds like an extremely tough situation with your wife and her family. I can understand why you're feeling so frustrated and defeated. That's a really messed up thing for her family to say about you, and it's not cool at all that your husband isn't standing up for you.

It's totally understandable that you don't want to be around her family after that. Their comments were super disrespectful and hurtful. You have every right to feel that way. But the fact that your husband is still spending so much time over there, even to the point of being gone for a whole week at a time, is a huge problem.

It's not fair for him to just tell you to "deal with it" when this is clearly causing a major rift in your marriage. You two are supposed to be a team, and he should be putting your relationship first, not catering to his family's demands. That's a huge breach of trust and a red flag for the long-term health of your marriage.

I know it's not easy, but you absolutely need to have an honest, open conversation with your husband about this. Make it clear that his constant absence and lack of support is unacceptable. Tell him you feel completely disrespected and neglected, and that something has to change. Maybe even suggest going to counseling together to work through this.

If he continues to prioritize his family over you and your marriage, then unfortunately you may have to consider more drastic measures. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your own happiness and well-being just to keep the peace with his family. That's not fair or healthy.

My advice would be to stand your ground, be firm in your boundaries, and don't be afraid to put your foot down. Your marriage is the most important thing here. Make sure your husband knows that, and if he can't get on board, then you may need to re-evaluate the relationship entirely. I know that's tough, but you deserve so much better than this. Stay strong, bro.

[Anonymous]

You need to move on. Dump this man. You deserve better.