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Opening Your Heart
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Why is it that when we finally open up our hearts to others, they find it necessary to stab us? And not only do they thrust that knife deep within our hearts, but they leave it there. They leave it so that when we finally begin to heal and pull the knife out, they can simply drop back into our lives and say something or do something to plunge that knife deeper than before; it could be a text message, a phone call, a card, seeing them in person, it doesn't matter. They do it to establish control, and to ensure your misery while they parade on in their life; they do it so that if their newfound love turns ugly, they have us to fall back on; they do it because they never truly loved us.
I figured out why breaking-up is so hard to deal with. There are those types of a break-up where both parties involved stay single. But there are also break-ups that involve one person already moving on with an ex or new lover, while we are left here completely shocked, disgusted, upset, angry, doubtful, and devastated. In either situation, our hearts might as well not even function. Our bodies, for that matter, don't either. I've had those days where all I do is cry; I don't eat, sleep, talk, laugh, I don't do anything but cry. But that one emotion let's us know that we are indeed alive. And that even though our heart is scarred, we are still here and living.
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It is that pain that tells us to keep going, to keep pursuing life, to find the one that will make the pain go away, to find a new love, to live a happy life without pain and heartache. But that pain comes back quickly through the memories. And no matter what we do to destroy those memories, they come back stronger and faster than the last time, like a dam breaking and flooding our heads with all the good times. Seeing a couple kissing or holding hands is enough for me to clench my fists and shake, just trying to stop that dam from breaking. But it breaks eventually. It has to, it wants to.
But that pain wants to go away. And we want it to go away. We want to find love again after a break-up, if only to know that true love does exist. And I believe it does exist. I haven't found it, but I thought I did. It felt like I found it, but that is the deception and the price of opening up your heart, and isn't that what this article is about? Opening yourself up to those you love, allowing others to see our scarred hearts, and to accept them, that is why we open our hearts. We have to open our hearts up to others, we have to risk that they may have a knife behind them and ready to strike, but we have to let that happen. We have to take risks to gain rewards.
But my heart is closed. No one has access to my heart except myself, and I am the only one that can hurt me anymore. And until I feel safe and secure again with people again, my heart will stay inside and protected. The heart can only take so much pain before it stops working all together, and I don't want to risk that.
So if this article is putting a message out there, let it be that you must open your heart to others, you must take that risk of getting hurt again, you must make that risk because true love does exist, and true love can cure any pain.
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