Hmm, interesting answer. When does it become mean, though? I'm of the opinion that creating a false idea of someone can be every bit as mean as being outright nasty because you stop someone from showing people who they really are - it's like they don't have the chance to make their first impression because a gossip has already done it for them. I dunno. I've never known where to draw the line between gossip and reporting honest fact to someone who needs to know. Any thoughts on it? - 2 months ago
N/A
(Age:Under 18)
When: 8 months ago
No I don't think so! Well yes we do gossip a lot I have to admit but not when were having fun we do it because were bored or can't think of something else to say
Doesn't that ever feel empty? All the gossiping doesn't really help anyone or make anyone feel good about themselves, does it? I can see where you're coming from, but surely there are better things you can do to pass time? - 8 months ago
It's not crazy, really - just sad. I've heard it said that it's easier to break someone down then to build them up. Did you know that the more you focus on someone else's flaws and how it 'cancels out' your own, the more you'll focus on your own anyway? Also, this type of 'feeling better about yourselves' won't last. If you want something that will, try building other people up. It will help them, as well as yourself. You may even find you enjoy it even more. - 8 months ago
Not at all! they only do it, because it would help make them selves feel better. I honestly have, and it just makes you feel guilty, even if it's about a friend. I don't do it anymore, but that's the main reason why girls do it. & also to make other people feel bad.
You should see my comments to KillJessi. I commented to her before looking at your answer, and I see it applies here too. I agree with you. - 8 months ago
N/A
(Age:Under 18)
When: 9 months ago
I don't really see why girls, just because they're girls, get the stereotypical "Oh, they must be a gossip. " It's not necessarily gossip, either. A lot of girls like to talk, true, and they oftentimes run off to repeat something that they've just found out. However, not all girls are like this. Besides, I think that the main reason for "gossiping" is just to "share their knowledge". Many girls like to know other people's business because they like to help. Some just because they have something juicy to hang over someone's head or later use as a bargaining tool to find out something that they really want to know. However, I will restate my earlier statement: not all girls are like this.
It's not because they're girls that they're gossips. Guys gossip too, and it's actually quite well known, despite popular opinion. For them though, it's more debased than what girls can get up to. It's more about the 'notches' than what so-and-so did yesterday. I'm sorry if you interpreted this as just targeting girls. It's more a question of 'is it true that girls gossip all the time'? I can agree - not all are. Girls don't always use knowledge to help. It can be fairly malicious too. Thanks! - 9 months ago
I certainly hope we don't spend MOST of our free time gossiping!
I've read your comments on the first few answers . . . your definition of gossip is very narrow--I would call this libel instead. To me, almost everything you discuss is gossip. If you're inquiring about a friend you haven't seen in years, that's gossip too.
As to why people spread malicious rumors . . . well, can't help you there! I don't think this is a guys vs. girls issue so much as it is one of personality, clique, upbringing, etc. There are certainly guys out there who are just as bad, especially when they start rumours about various things they've done--and by done, I mean NOT done--with their girlfriends.
I suppose it is fairly narrow. What I am really asking about then, is about those malicious rumors, or when someone discusses someone else and it leads to misconceptions - which can be even worse. 'Desperate Housewives' is a prime example of what I mean. I can definitely see what you meant with the last comment in your answer. Go read another question I've got about why some guys seem to prove their idiocy with their dirty comments about girls' bodies. Good responses there too. - 9 months ago
I usually do it because its fun and when I'm bored its usually the only thing left to do. Also girls tend to learn a lot about themselves, their friends and other people when they gossip. A lot tends to come out when we gossip.
Are you impressed with the things that you find out about your friends? Or about other people? I find that the best way to get to really know someone with all the truth there, is to actually go straight to the source - the actual person. Few people that I know will also actually find gossiping fun because I've seen so many people hurt by it. I've even chatted to people online who've been driven to thoughts of suicide by this (not only this site). Gossiping can turn REALLY nasty things worse. - 9 months ago
Answerer
Its not usually nasty gossiping. Its a shame people always think gossiping is negative. If there's something going on, we talk about it and what happened. Or if someone has something interesting we talk about it. Its gossiping, just not in a negative way. And of course the best way to get to know people is to talk to them, but, especially for people who are not very open, its not always that easy. - 9 months ago
It depends. Sometimes they gossip from boredom or when it comes to trying to get the guy eliminating the competition and/ or to feel better about themselves
Sounds very shallow, not to mention that no guy I know would like a girl that tried to get rid of the competition like that. Does it really make girls, or anyone for that matter, feel better about themselves? - 9 months ago
Answerer
Yeah well if only boys knew what girls said and did in locker rooms. the innocent ones would hardly seem innocent. but yeah it does make SOME girls feel good about putting down others - 9 months ago
Question Asker
I suppose the locker rooms comment goes both ways, though I see you've answered my other question about that sort of thing. I've also heard someone say that it's easier to pull someone down than to pull someone up. I can't say that I can respect someone like that. For the girls that would do that, I can only wish in vain that there was a neon sign over their heads saying what type of person she is so I can avoid nasties. Goes both ways too, I'd say. - 9 months ago
Answerer
I know what you mean. I wish it was the same with boys. But then again gossip are only just another way of just saying rumors - 9 months ago
Question Asker
Very true. I was lucky enough to fly low under the radar at school so that I avoided getting hit with rumors, at least as far as I know. It was only in my final two weeks or so that a rumor started to spread about me. True, I think, but how others found out scares me (very personal info). - 9 months ago
Answerer
Ha that was impossible with me. I couldn't fly under the radar. My brother(s) popularity did that to me :/ but I usually ignore them killings them with kindness is so fun after awhile - 9 months ago
Question Asker
I suppose that would be fun. Seeing their faces when you're kind to them after they've been nasty to you would be really funny. I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that. It can't have been easy. Life is much easier out of the spot light. - 9 months ago
Answerer
Aww thx. But it was hard at first because I wasnt use to it. My brothers were always there to protect me when I was younger but when I had to deal it by myself I think I cried a lot after awhile I ignored it and people stopped spreading them because I didn't pay attention to it. But college is better. Rumors are rarely spread. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
Didn't you have friends to help you through it? I only had my bro with me in school, so if anything was started, it would be me by my lonesome self. My friends all went to different schools on the other side of Cape Town (the city I'm from). A friend can really help you through anything. I'm glad that college is better for you. Frat boys (ie, moronic idiots without two brain cells to rub together that'll make a spark of intelligence) will spread rumors. Be careful; it's often really dirty. - 9 months ago
Answerer
I had friends who helped me through it all. But yeah the frat guys here are pretty cool. They haven't tried anything. Yet. Lol - 9 months ago
That's good, because if the whole thing of 'girls mature faster than guys' thing is to believed, they're just now starting to get into the whole gossiping stage, and they'll be FAR worse than any of your worst nightmares of what girls did or can do. More personal too. Good luck with the college, as well as finding friends there that'll stick with you. - 9 months ago
Girls mostly like to gossip cause it's a fun thing to do. They might be wondering what the guys are saying about them. Oh yeah! You most watch out some girls do this to cause drama and start stuff.
Yeah, I hate it when some girls do that to start things off. It's shallow and causes problems for no good reason. I don't really see trying to find out what guys are saying about you as gossip unless there's someone who answers that with a lie to get rid of you. It's more information gathering. Gossip, in my opinion, is spreading false stories about someone or compounding a false impression, or even talking nastily about someone when they can't defend themselves. That I absolutely HATE. - 9 months ago
Well I only really gossip when I'm with my girls. So that's not really all my free time but I think they gossip because they have feelings[good or bad doesn't matter] about someone and want to know how everyone else feels. And if they should feel they way they feel about that person still after gossiping.
That doesn't sound like the gossiping that I'm referring to here. That's just gathering information about the person you like and asking about what you should do about it. What I'm talking about is the thing of spreading rumors or listening to them and making them more sensational (i.e, worse). That is nothing shy of pure evil. I've seen just a few too many people hurt like this. How do you feel about someone before you've met them? Wouldn't you rather meet before deciding? It works much better. - 9 months ago
Well, in my opinion, gossiping is often associated with maliciousness. I don't think that gossiping is always a bad thing, I do it to learn more about people. I don't know why girls like to do it though.
Do you not see it as being something that creates misconceptions about people? You can't really get to know someone honestly if you don't spend time with them. I suppose you can get to find what other people think about someone, but again, is that a true idea of what they're like? Oh well, thanks for the answer. - 9 months ago
Answerer
I kind of do think it creates misconceptions, because I know when someone is gossiping about me, what they're saying is usually false. I think it is important to get to know someone before making assumptions, I've learned that lesson many time because I for one always change my mind about people because I know my assumptions are often wrong. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
That shows a good deal of maturity. I've read somewhere that it takes a good deal of character to forgive someone for being wrong, but even more to forgive someone for being right. At least I think it was character? Dunno. That kind of relates to this too. It's INCREDIBLY hard to change your own views about someone when you realize that they are wrong. That you can do that makes you pretty special. Now it's just to stop those misconceptions from forming in the first place. Gossiping hurts others - 9 months ago
(Age:Under 18)
When: 8 months ago
