Do you guys not like to chase girls anymore?

There are many factors to consider. 1- MONEY- there's been a shift in financial power in the household. ladies seem more able to support themselves without the direct help of a male. men, in turn, feel less need to put out than in the past. 2-WOMEN- we set the tone for how men treat us. so more and more females don't expect males to chase us or be chivalrous or open doors and pull out seats, therefore, guys don't do it. 3- SOCIAL CHANGE- it's now acceptable for women to chase men, so the playing field has evened out some. years ago, women couldn't even drink at a bar alone for fear of being thought of as a loose, street walker.

If you want to know the truth, the truth is simple, we all started as chasers but then we found that girls are not really attracted to chasers, so when our hearts got broken we learned the lesson and changed that.

Why would we? If you make no effort, then that says that you aren't interested, so there is no motivation for us to try.

Chasing is fun...

It'd be nicer to catch some once in a while though.

Just give her a d*** in a box and she would come running to you. Trust me I do it all the time.
:)

Just give her a d*** in a box and she would come running to you. Trust me I do it all the time.
:)

I myself believe that the guy should still at least take the initiative to chase after the girl. However, sometimes women need to at least make it apparent that their at least interested in us guys. Maybe a good smile or something

No. Mostly because most of use don't want to make a girl we like feel harassed. We know guys who chase girls are seen as an annoyance, mostly because girls tell us.

Eg. link

Times have changed, and women are more likely to do the chasing now...though a vast majority of women still think and prefer the guy take the initiative.

I think that as women are becoming more independent they earn almost as much as guys, earn more social status, and are becoming more educated they start to do more guy things.

When girls ask guys they have a little more power in who they choose instead of just waiting for the guy to come to them. Some guys have been fed up about being rejected so they refuse to ask anymore. Sometimes the guy that you really like is the one you have to approach.

why would guys waste time chasing and being chivalrous to girls when they get no reward? We have no patience anymore, and if you're making us chase you for ages we can now find girls that won't take as long to come around. Not that these are always the best girls, but we live in a day where we can get a cute girl quickly and easily, so to us it really doenst make logical sense to chase women.

The only guys that do that are ones who don't have many options for whatever reason


guys who do that kind of stuff hardly ever get the girl over a guy who doesn't chase , but can entertain.


the guys who all the women are attracted to don't need to chase because they usually have plenty of options.

Lets be real, there are plenty of guys chasing women, but you're thinking only of guys who you are attracted to. You're not counting the fat guy that hangs around your friends sometimes who keeps trying his luck, or the guy who you met in the club who keeps sending you texts.

Guys who are attractive and have options don't chase because its handed to them already. And these are the guys you want to chase you.


dont discount all the guys who have :
tried to talk to you
tried to ask you out
tried to call you
tried to get your number/email

Theres a lot of chasers out there.
I would even go as far to say that most guys on this site are chasers, but guys can't be arsed
to chase someone when he he can get someone else just as good without the extra hassle

theres almost no difference between the girl that went out with us first time we asked and the one who went out with us 7 months after we asked

girls play games when they are young and immature. Guys literally have to wait for the games to stop

um, because chasing anyone is lame. I will never ever chase a girl. chasing people is pathetic, two people should just like each other and not play stupid hard to get games. I hate when girls play hard ot get, and if they do I write them off and ignore them. if you don;t show interest and make it easy then I don't want you.

Girls cheat more then males now. you can google the results if you don't think so. We no longer want to stress about females while we know there's plenty of other fish in the sea. Females now need to prove their more then a lovely figure. Give us something we want to hold on to, that no other girl has to offer.

Are you sure it's not just your looks are fading so they attention you're getting is starting to wane? It's going to happen as you get older, so don't confuse that with what you're describing.

Anyway, in general I don't think guys chase less than they used to. If anything I think because of shows like The Pickup Artist and books like The Game, as well as the growing industry of dating and pickup coaches, guys are chasing women more now than ever.

I have a few ideas that I'm going to suggest like they are truth, but the truth is that I have noticed what you are talking about and I don't know the answer. This was my philosophy back when I was looking for a woman:

I wanted a woman for the long haul. There isn't much about me or anyone else that isn't subject to change over a large span of time. Anyone who knew after 5 seconds of interaction or a glance across a room that I wasn't what they wanted was being, well, foolish. (Not because I was necessarily wonderful but just because I knew they couldn't possibly know anything meaningful one way or the other from that amount of contact.) I guess what I am saying is that if she wasn't both open-minded and interested enough in finding a good mate to make it at least non-painful for me to get to know her better, she was most likely not what I wanted.

I guess you could say that I felt that if I had to chase, I was chasing someone who wasn't realistic enough to be long-term partner material.

My wife thinks I spend too much time chasing girls.

:-)

I hate chasing girls. They've gotten so absolutely stale and same-y. Big boots with their pants tucked into them and big bug-eyed glasses. It's practically uniform. No variety. It's like eating burgers every day for dinner. Wonderful novelty at first, but then you get sick of it and just want some sushi.

And no, it's not that there's no challenge, it's that it's not worth it. Plus I've had some really sh*tty shoot-downs that were just pretty f***ing abusive. After getting beer dumped over my really expensive suit, I decided "f*** this," because it was the fifth damn time I'd had to go to the cleaners with this exact problem. It's not my approach, and it's not the way I look- I just figure it's easier to get asked out. That's how I got in the relationship that I'm in now.

Personally, it's because many (not all) women in this society are messed. You have to deal with body image issues, low self-esteem, etc. Also, women are not very feminine, which I think accounts for a lot of the reasons why men won't "invest much in women". What I mean by feminine is that you can easlily find a lot of women these days that are heavy drinkers, pot-smokers, swear, have bad manners, bad attitudes, etc. Add on top that the relationship will probably die like all her relationships before. Is this what a real man would to invest a relationship in?

"Do you think its because we make it too easy for ya'll? there's no real challenge?"

It's easy for the players, they try not to make it look like they are "chasing" after someone so they appear high-value. And of course they would never invest a penny on a women.

I don't think it's that easy as you say, except for sluts who want to get laid. If it's too challenging than a man simply won't waste his time and move on. Usually dorks end-up putting more effort into chasing after that one girl.

2/2 why the limited answer space all the time...

next maybe 5-6 girls on the street. therefore I would say it is not so much lazyness but actually supply that at last came down to a reasonable level. (because who said that investing days and weeks and maybe months or years even in a "maybe" was ever justified in the first place?)
the fundamental problem is the following: what we are most limited on is time so its the thing we don't want to waste for something that has very little promise of safe return and no guarantee whatsoever and since you can't really expect guarantees in this area that will diminish the effort that is put in yet more and this is something majorly true for men but also for women.
throw in financial support and independence for and of single mothers and social acceptance levels higher than ever also their selection behaviour changed. and it changed much more when condoms or especially the pill became mainstream.
if you look at the average attention-span of humans it shortened considerably over the last few years, similarily access to selected information and pretty much anything became extremely fast and whenever or whereever you are sex also underwent these shifts to a degree, if not for its own sake then at least to fit into our daily scedule. and with the huge growth-rates of cities and their inhabitants the chances of seeing him her again are slim to none.
now being someone that is aware that he is one of many you have to take chances as they come and few think they can keep to themselves the luxury of playing around while most actually are out there finding the "one other significant".
of course there is also the scientific fact that women play the leading role in mating rituals like in first contact and this might yet be another reason as to why they take yet another more pro-active approach...

whatever the case I sincerely hope you find what you wish for, even if it is something few others would go for in the long run...
other than that I would also not give a sh*t about games, although here is a fun one I like to play: when I respond to something I do it honestly and if the other party was expecting me to read their minds they can kindly go f*** themselves because there is other stuff and other tails I can start chasing any time :)

of course that paradoxically takes control away from women by forcing them to also adapt to changes in their surroundings mating approaches but only if these individuals want all three sides of the coin at the same time: all of the choice, all the time, as well as artificially high standards that aren't backed up by anything that actually adds value to the others life i.e. giving something for what they are getting

dont get me wrong everyone is able and willing to chase something that is really desireable, but I guess it has to enrich your life with more than just a few flaps of meat that admittedly feel good and I guess that goes for all of us: IT IS FUCKING MUTUAL IN ALL ASPECTS!

wow ok first of all somebody seems to have a major issue here...
and not just somebody, a lot of guys seem to see this as a hot topic as well.
first of all the topic consists of four parts, why this is how it is on a general level, why on a personal one, and the second, for whom the "earlier" state is better and why and for whom the current state is better and why.
as many considered there is the issue with girls giving it "too easy" but that is actually already an opinion, saying it neutrally would mean: "it is an issue of supply and demand" however it is a special case of such namely as you already somehow state: it is the special case where a group has a monopoly on something and "decides" its price that way it can be kept artificially high because if none of the providing side go below the "agreed" price then the buying side will simply have to pay since there is no other supply. then another thing happens: some women realize (just sooner than others but eventually all of them) that they want sex relationships etc. in short the whole package as well so they can't keep sitting on it forever and wait for men to sucker up and pay the full price.
so what happens is some start to give it away a little easier than others because they say hey, if I undercut prices a tiny bit, I have all the choice even if my goods aren't the best out there but if I'm the only one selling everyone will come to me, and that will start other girls thinking and therefore doing the same thus creating a wave that later on turns into competition not for single men but even before that simply for choice and therefore chance of getting one of the "good" ones.
the problem with this monopoly and its artificially high price is that its not like OPEC where very very few supply a huge number of buyers but actually a scenario where buyers and sellers are roughly the same amount and everyone is competing with everyone.
now think as social dogma as a means to control the market, its like strict regulations or free trade zones, if the dogma says you have to go out at least twice in order to get some booty (ARRR!) then of course that raises the price and obviously women as a whole will get more out of it, whatever that may be. remove the regulation and supply and demand will even each other out given enough time to erode old standards that still persist somehow also removing a bar that people all over the place could take their "dates-before-sex" counter and haves and have-not's from without having to constantly adapt to the group in fear of loosing out by beeing to restrictive.
this is actually another place for misconception, namely that men are out ONLY for sex because it is their genetical imperative to spread their seed as far as they can and for women to catch and bind a or multiple men and make them work for her and her possible offspring as long as possible, I actually think that it is wrong to assume that even most men do it only for that because that would mean that any guy looking for a relationship flat out is a evolutionary faliure which in my eyes seems very unlikely given the amount of men looking just for that.

I may aswell throw my 2 cents in. I don't chase girls anymore because rejection hurts. Also cocky blokes have created a stereotype in which I don't want to be. Now-days id rather sit back and watch blokes make fools of themselfs & just maybe one day a girl will walk up to me and ask how I'm doing, Then I will now that she is interested in me and not be looking over my shoulder looking for someone better or her friends.

Hey, I don't usually write an answer to questions with these many answers, but I like your question! So I'll write something here.

I feel the same as you, that it's the girls now who are chasing the guys, I agree with your reasoning on this. I'm feeling that guys are no longer as decisive when it comes to relationships, and pretty much leave it to the girls to make things happen.

I don't think it's because girls make it too easy, if anything it's the guard/shield girls put on that repel men. But that's normal, and that guard is necessary. You do it unconsciously (or consciously), but that's the way it's always been. The men of old had the same issue, but they pressed on. I don't think girls have ever been easy on guys, until very recently, I don't think it's in a female's nature to throw themselves at guys easily.

If you can see the difference between what men are doing in today's age compared to a couple of decades ago, you will see that men are no longer what they used to be. The nature hasn't changed, as it remains the same with women; the nurture did. Men today are much more "feminine" in their nature. Being the passive one in the relationship, not going after girls, etc. Guys having manicure, too nervous to even walk up to the opposite sex, etc. There are A LOT more guys you'd label "shy" now than you would find in, let's say, the 80's.

Guys are not chivalrous anymore; I mean, I don't think women ever expected men to do it; they may have in the past because it was norm for real gentlemen to do chivalrous things. Then the social change, I call the feminization of men, began to happen, and men stopped doing it, then the females just don't expect the guys to do that type of things.

I do feel what kids are taught in school and hollywood, among other factors, contribute a lot to the feminization of American men. Can you name one example of how a guy is

If you have the time to read all of this girls responses to some men who answered her question you will find out that she has a boyfriend. Why would a girl who already has a boyfriend be interested in guys to chase her as she includes herself as, "We woman"? LOL I think she's just answered her own question and proved what type of a person she really is! Then the end part of her question she recedes back to her comfort with other woman as a whole, "I blame us" instead of herself as an individual. She try's to divert your attention onto all woman in general which means she is a very poor representative of her kind. When it comes to finding a relationship men aren't playing a game. I am a man and I am very very strong so my mind is not your toy to be messed with. Men who do not chase woman have control over themselves, they are not lazy. I am not lazy. I work my fingers to the bone and have broken bones so you do not have to go through what I go through. Get it? That is why you are pretty. Eventually someone is going to lose control. The instant you take it to far and the one who defends you ends up with broken bones all men will continue to fight endlessly and those would ultimately end up as your broken bones. A shift in financial power only gives woman a false sense of strength and ability to support themselves. Woman want men to chase them because they are over estimating themselves. Just how woman hate cocky men, that is exactly how cocky you appear to us.

Most of us guys have finally figured that all that chas'n is just one big waste of energy, and exhaustion with little or nothing to show. We are tired of playing puppet to woman's emotional drama and self esteem building schemes. We would much prefer to be up front and honest and real. Some girls understand this and just ask for what they want.

girls have too much power plain and simple. not being sexest, just talking real terrain dynamics here. on any given night out a girl in a club has probably got twice as much social power as the next dude. why? numbers, guys are expected to make the first move, women have what the guy is chasin! so . why should a guy give his power away. whatever women say the minute its clear a guy likes you without you having earnt it what does that say. he's after you withought knowing you, without knowing if its mutual, and he has less value than that next dude who ain't interested. plus it puts a lot of pressure on the relationship, ie he expects and you will consexualise every little remark he makes. point being f*** it. why play that game. too many guys get prick teased in bars by girls who collect nuts like jewelery. its bullsh*t. sooo women will have to learn to chat up guys! which ain't as easy as it sounds. you may have a whole knew appreciation for the other side when you run out of words in a cold approach!
the greatest weapon against getting played is girls who are genuinely nice. not stupid but genuine and nice. also happy either way but interested in what your saying, what your story is. don't play games be genuine. it has hidden power.

Yes, but not because of what you think. There are many factors, but having "women throwing themselves" at us is most definitely NOT one of them! That just DOES NOT HAPPEN, unless you're a rock star or something, no, the reasons are these:
1-Young people today "myself included" have the attention span of a cabbage.
2-We are also lazy.
3-You girls wanted equal rights? well, you got'em, now pay the consequences.
4-Hot, scantily clad girls are EVERYWHERE, TV, Magazines, Videogames, Intrawebz, there is no "mistery anymore.
5-I would list more reasons, but 1 and 2 are starting to kick in...

I can write a book about this but I'm not going to.


Bottom Line, "GIRLS ARE WAY TOO PICKY"

What is the point to pursue any girl if you already know the outcome. You say you make yourselves easy? You call a relationship which is impossible to have a challenge? Smart men who have money and a life have better things to do than waist time on you. You have your sites set to only allow your favorite man of your group of men into your life for him to only to be replaced if better comes along. Do you think this behavior makes you look any bit attractive? Go Womans Rights so woman can compete and have sex with that same one guy with the lottery ticket! For average men this is not called giving up this is called the reality that woman have created for us. WOMAN ARE PROFESSIONAL GAMBLING RELATIONSHIP ADDICTS.

See Ya !

It could be that we have better things to be doing.

Why is there a chase?

What does this statement say about YOUR ego?

"I feel girls are chasing guys now that guys have lost that want to pursue or chase us when we leave."

Maybe YOUR attitude has something to do with guys not chasing you.

Water under the bridge is water under the bridge. Maybe they guys that you surround yourself with have realized that you just want the chase and you're trying to play mind games with them. Maybe they've decided that the JUICE isn't worth the squeeze.

Skanks want money and power. Girls would rather run then man up. Why should I waste 30-45 minutes of my time to get to know them especially when it's just as easy to find a no holds barred f***fest. You're right, you want the chase but we tired over that due to the evil skanks breaking hearts. Guys aren't heartless by nature, we're created.

i chased a girl once and in the end I realized I had been played and she was only interested in my money and not me. from that point on, after a couple of dates, I tell them if I am interested in them and if she want to persue a possible relationship then great, if she doesn't then I let her know that I have enjoyed our time together but am going to move on. for ages women have had a hold over men and knew it. they have something men want. but with the changing times I believe that men are starting to realize that they do not have to be subject to that hold any longer. (this isn't th case with all women and men).

I wouldn't say I was raised under a feminist environment, but near as I can tell, much of this stems from the fact that women have many more rights than they used to, including the right to choose exactly who they talk to, go out with, break up with, marry, or divorce. Of course that isn't a bad thing, but guys seem to assume this means that women have given a lot of thought to exactly what they want, and thus should not be afraid to go after it if they see it, which many people from both genders have difficulty doing. So, guys wind up sitting back and thinking that since none of these women are displaying any interest, they might as well not go for what may likely be a lost cause, saving himself some awkward moments.

Having been raised under a feminist environment, it has been drummed into me and others of my generation, that "no means no". As such, if you go for a girl, and she does not reciprocate, I take it as a no, and do not pursue the matter further. More, some colleges and work places now consider it "sexual harassment" to engage in any unwanted behavior that can be considered to have some sexual nature -- as courting can be. Doing otherwise (not taking no as an answer and seeing it as just a "challenge") is seen as being a stalker and a potential rapist these days, so us men leave it for the women to do the chasing now. Be careful for what you ask for, you may get it.

Well women play games so I'm not gonna waste my time.
I'm the prize, you want me...come get me
times are changing.

Why do we have to be chasing you?

I like when you play hard to get, but sometimes you girls take it overboard and then it becomes stupid after a while.Lets noot forget that there is billions of other women out there, if you play too hard to get then FORGET YOU.However I would agree with the fact that if you are in love and you are thinking about getting married then you should play very hard to get. because you gonna be with that man for the rest of your life and you want him to treat you right.

I don,t chase shadows if I know I,m not going to get nowhere with her cool there,s plenty left all over the place, but from what I see these days ALOT girls are low class,stuck up stupid as well.

I agree with you when you blame women for this change.

Women are nuts...

i think it might b becuase the girl makes it too easy.
u just gotta play hard to get.
it's just nowadays guys and girls are dumber and crazier.

We don't want or need you.

I do! The challenge is half the fun. It's boring when yuo're just given everything. I have never once fell for a girl that just give me what I wanted outright. It's about the journey, not the destination!

I believe that it may be an aftershock of the feminist movement. Men realized that, although the predominant sex, were still discriminated & oppressed just as much as women. Courtship used to be seen as man takes what he wants. Then consent came into society. Eventually courtship became about pleasing the female instead of the male. Now I believe that the more progressive males wish for courtship to be a fair game between 2 equal individuals.

"During a seminar I did with black men and women, the men decided to express to the women some things that they had never had a chance to say. So the men started expressing their pain and disappointment. They started expressing how they feel about not being accepted for who they are, for not having their struggle recognized, for having the women respond to them in very self-centered ways where the women were only talking about what they needed, what they wanted. 'You want, want, want, want all the time. Can't you see that I'm working with very limited resources? I'm doing the best I can...' And as they were in the midst of talking about that, the women _lit_ into them. I mean they _fired_ at them! the women started screaming and yelling at them, 'How dare they be so insensitive and uncaring! And all the kinds of foul statements that can be made. And the men shut down. They shut down. They couldn't say another word."

Audrey Chapman, author and therapist, quoted in Jack Kammer's "Good Will Towards Men"

Well a lot has happened with gender relations in the last 50 years. Woman have gained a lot of independence but there are some by products to this event. We no longer interact with females as our mates but as our equals. This eliminates the whole process of "the chase". It is a two way street now where men and women have to both put in an effort, where the old days a woman put on a pretty dress and hoped Mr. Right would come along. It's really interesting because woman are our competitors these days as well. They are competing for the same jobs and jockeying for power in our social groups. The risk of chasing woman has increased because the social consequences have as well. Me hitting on a secretary in the 50's was called flirting, me hitting on a secretary now is called sexual harassment. Than you throw in dealing with extreme feminists and it just gets ugly. Essentially the modern world has become a pylon of social standing (comparing Facebook friends). People don't chase but more or less gravitate towards complimentary mates. Two men and women of equal social status and equal values are going to recognize each other and almost mutually agree to escalate the relationship. It just takes the cream off the pudding when a man who is a janitor asks out a woman who's an investment banker.

Wow, popular topic. Partly this is the result of changing cultural attitudes toward dating (see Spelunker's reference below and other research studies), but I don't think that's the whole story.

For me and many other guys, it's simple. "The chase" consists mostly of waiting for phone calls, competing with other guys, and telling you how awesome we are. Those of us who are neither narcissists nor secretly gay think this is boring. If I wanted these things, I'd work at a call center, join a sports league, and start a blog, respectively.

If I ask a girl on a date, it's because I want to go to parties with her, eat dinner together, argue about movies, trade stories about growing up, make out on her couch, and have sex with her. To me, these things are more fun than acting out some kind of junior high school chase sequence.

The Ludwig Boltzman Institude in Vienna, Austria did a huge study of dating, marriage and relationships. This study went on for years, with thousands of people of different races, nationalities and religions. Here's what the study found:

You know the thermostat on your wall that controls the house's temperature? The study found that women are the thermostat of a relationship. An institute spokesman said, "you can predict male behaviour by female behaviour, but not the other way round." (Quoted in the 14 Jan 2001 issue of New Scientist magazine.)

This means that women have a hell of a lot of power to make or break a relationship. It might sound like that's a question of "blame", but the subject is far more complex. In summary, the study discovered that men are generally _very_ easy to please. We're rather like puppies: we want to play, we want a belly rub, we want a treat occasionally; and we really, really, really want your praise and kindness and will act a little stupid to make you laugh. We respond a lot better to positive reinforcement (praise and rewards) than to negative reinforcement (yelling, complaints and nagging). If women treat men like puppies, they'll respond like puppies: with complete loyalty, dedication and hard work until we die. But if women treat men with counterproductive negative complaints, disrespect and headgames, men will act like naughty dogs and pee all over everything, bark all night and hump anything that moves.

So if men aren't chasing women, it's mostly because women have altered their thermostat so they're too hot or too cold for comfort. And if men aren't chasing women, it's because they're expecting to housetrain us not with positive rewards, but will negative feedback.

From personal experience.. I stopped really working hard at chasing girls because majority think they're all that. Turn you down because they think of body and looks before personality. There is a lot of things that girls do now that make a guy turnoff. A lot of things to girls now are programmed. Then you have girls who like to cheat or get even more attention then they already have. Before me I used to take a girl out to dinner and movie. If she was special id bring some flowers, The old school stuff. But now things like that don't really work. Its not completely the woman's fault its also the guys. because a lot of them make girls insecure or put them on the offensive. With cheating treating them wrong stuff like that. Why is it though that some girls turn down guys before getting to know the person inside? and Why is it some guys refer to woman as a item a "thing" not a person

I've always wanted that one person that I can't seem to get. I want the challenge!

I might break hearts often, but some girls don't put up a fight.

I think its just me though.

I can lose interest in a girl if they hit me for attention, steal my hat often, and most of all, the attitude of an all-that kinda girl p*sses me off.

Now, some men think they are just too good for some woman, I often get this feeling, so to counter that block, I try to take my time out to actually get to know the one I'm with a little.

In NYC, since there is so many people, some woman are a great challenge and I like it. I often keep the same attitude no matter where I go, I like to put up a fight.

These days we have better things to do besides keep crawling back to a gril who constantly either ignores us, slaps us, insults us or humiliates us trying to "win her over".

You want us? Come and get us.

I've noticed how you tend to completely ignore what the guys say, and instead twist their words and talk about your feelings.

Perhaps this is why no guys chase you: when they open up their hearts to share their opinions, you shoot 'em down and say their feelings don't matter and yours are more important.

And anyone who meets guys on Fling.com can't fool us into thinking that women want an emotional connection before sex.

You're not fooling anyone.

Guys figured out that girls actually don't like sex so they simply stopped trying. Men everywhere have learned that just inside a girls hole their nerve endings can't feel anything. Trust me: it's no coincidence that girls say size doesn't matter. The ultimate size for a girl is zero...(you got to wonder why evolution didn't favor a male appendage above the shaft that vibrated and rubbed on the clit during sex...though I digress) Don't believe me? All you got to do is look around. Girl on girl sex is getting more common...and not coincidentally guys are getting into anal (to the hatred of women everywhere) because instinctively some guys know that soon enough they'll have to turn to other guys when ladies have no sexual need for dudes. Sure evolution will keep the dude around, but since one guy could populate an entire country with a teaspoon of ejaculation, they'll only need a couple of selective sad straight dudes for insemination purposes only.

I used to but stopped because she had control over me and I looked dumb chasing her around all the time. but I guess most guys think like I do or been through a situation were they didn't like to chase girls.

SUCH a good question, I'm flattered that you took the time to notice this!

Reciprocity is key for me, if I feel like I have to keep chasing her and I get nothing in return. In other words, she takes and doesn't give back, I don't really feel the need to keep chasing her when I could put my interest elsewhere. Do you know what I mean?

Let me put it this way, now that women have become more independent they have the freedom to leave a guy whenever she wants to - for whatever reason that might be. I am not upset about this fact, I think it's great that women don't feel dependent on men. More power to you.

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I understand most women enter relationships with a lot of insecurities and it's overlooked a lot. Reciprocity is key, and we don't really have a reason to keep giving with nothing in return.

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This depends. If you smother us, we run. If you give us too much of a chase, we leave. You've go the right idea though. Guys do need a chase to keep coming back. My golden rule is: "Don't go hunting, go fishing." Give a little, then let him come back for more. Don't make him keep chasing, it bores him and makes him think you don't appreciate him

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This all depends on the guys experience with women. If he has trust issues, chances are, he's waiting for someone to break that for him. If he is used to being catered, he doesn't want a chase, he can find another girl that will throw herself at him. If he knows how to keep the girl coming back, he doesn't feel the need to persue her. Seek out mature men, it sounds like you're on the right path. I'm glad you recognize this, rather than deny it

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Naw, it's not ALL your fault! It's a matter of finding a balance between the two extremes. Throwing yourself at him and giving nothing in return for his good efforts.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask

Best

Brian

I don't chase anything. I will pursue a woman to the same degree she pursues me. If she expects anything else she can f*ck off.

Do I chase girls? No, it's needy.

Do I approach girls I find attractive, initiate the conversation and get the ball rolling, yes.

I did a little research...

According to more than 200 scientific studies from all over the world, women are *more* likely than men to use physical aggression against a spouse/partner. Men inflict *slightly* more injuries than women. But overall -- when you count all the shoving, hitting, biting, slapping and so on -- women do more of it, do it more often, and do it first. More info here: link

And Polaris80 linked to a scientific study showing what women commit more emotional abuse.

You really want to know why men don't chase girls?

Perhaps because:

-you're *more" likely to abuse us emotionally,
-*more* likely to abuse us physically
-*more* likely to file for divorce when we've not cheated or abused you,
-and *more* likely to get custody and alimony, no matter what you've done.

I've got to agree with Fitzcarraldo: most women aren't worth the trouble. To be crass, they seem to think that their vaginas are lined with gold, and they can do no wrong.

I've had three serious relationships since I graduated from college. I dumped all three of 'em on their selfish, using, scheming manipulating butts.They offered me little kindness, respect or compassion, and they expect me to give them the world.

#1. Dumped her after she told me that I was selfish for wanting to talk about my feelings. This was a girl who dominated essentially every conversation we had with an endless monologue about her feeeeelings. But the 1 time I wanted to talk about something that was important to me, she insulted me and said I was being selfish (for talking the spotlight off her).

#2. I dumped her after she wanted to move in together after only 4 months. She *would not* discuss the issue like an adult, would not read the book I bought about how couples that live together before marriage tend to have *more* fights and higher divorce rates after they marry. No, my girlfriend didn't want to be bothered with the facts. She instead behaved like a spoiled child at a toy store.

#3. I dumped her after she pressured me to change careers. I love my job, and make a good living. But she kept suggesting that I change jobs. After a fight (that she picked for no good reason), the ugly truth came out: she was afraid that *I* would not be able to afford *her* dream house on my current salary. She didn't care about me; I was just a means to her end.

These days, women will put out on the first date, so there's no incentive to guys to chase her for sex. If I want to get laid occasionally, that's no challenge at all.

Most women are remarkably selfish, and don't seem to give a damn about men's feelings, goals or emotional needs.

So why should we chase women? What's our reward? There's a 50% chance of divorce, and 3 to 1 odds that you'll divorce us not because of assault or affairs, but because of your feeeeelings. And then you'll expect to rape us of half we've worked so hard to obtain.

So what's my incentive?

Women have created this mess. They've no one to blame but themselves when men have had enough of your abuse.

There are a few reasons for this:

1) We're equal nowadays. Guys can chase girls, and girls can chase the men. Now we BOTH have to feel rejection!

2) Guys that keep chasing girls risk being rejected and branded as a "stalker" or a "perv" or some other name-calling

3) Women throwing themselves at us is a problem of a slightly lesser degree, but it is there somewhat



For the record, I've been rejected A LOT

Women can't really resist me so it's kinda hard for me to chase them. XD

me too. I'm 24 and ever sence high school I hated playing hard to get because I alwase assume if she says no or "ignores" me I think she's uninterested. that and hard to get is such a turnoff because it is almost like she don't know what she want's or is just toying/useing me. I'm glad other guys are finaly doing the same thing I am and stop chaseing girls that think there more important than anyone else.

that's just my point of view but I'm sure there are more than a few guys who would think the same thing but never say it.

Firstly Id like to thank you for putting the blame on women instead of just being a guy basher. Yes, I believe women today are just too easy. Making a guy wait for marriage for sex is not even an option anymore, now girls think they're hard to get if they wait until the 3rd date, with most not even lasting past the first.
A guy puts as much worth into something as to how difficult it was to get it. He puts a lot into his car because he put ALOT of money that he had work for, into it. If he gets into a girls pants after a $40 meal, then what does that say to him about her?
So I completely agree with you, guys are not investing time and energy into girls because they have become just too easy.

Probably because most guys think that if you chase a girl she'll loose interest because it's too easy to get with him. So we don't bother chasing girls.

Show me a woman who's worth chasing, and I'll chase her.

Most girls are inconsistent, cruel, insecure, in debt, and can't talk about anything other than their feeeeelings.

Not worth my time.

let me holla at you little mama man know women notice them when they act like they don't won't nothing to do with them so yes your right sometimes girls do throw there self at guys real hard now of days

you are welcome

I would argue there just aren't that many girls worth chasing. The characteristics of middle class american girls are so homogenized that they don't stand out from each other. Quite frankly the only thing a woman without character/intelligence going for her is her looks. And despite what she might think, looks doesn't last. I could waste large amounts of effort chasing a hot girl my age for carnal pleasure, or I can devote that time to develop my self and my career so I can have any girl I want later in life. The thing with men is that our value is based on our intelligence/experience not our looks and that gets better with time.