Guys just don't invest much in women like they used to. (Page 2)

Question

Do you guys not like to chase girls anymore? I notice more and more that most guys nowadays just don't invest much in women like they used to. Do you think its because we make it too easy for y'all? there's no real challenge? Maybe girls throw themselves at most guys too much?  I feel girls are chasing guys now that guys have lost that want to pursue or chase us when we leave. Not all guys but most just rather the girl make things happen. What's up with this? I blame us, to b honest with you.

nickle2back · Answer

well I wouldn't be in my current relationship if I had just let her go. I had to wait seven months for her cause she was with a total pothead, but now we're back together. and we are happy. but I have notice a few of my friends do throw themselves at guys but only because their natural flirts or just addicted to guys. and guys tend to be a bit lazy. this male laziness I have attributed to the whole rap craze. if you ever listen to those songs it makes guys just want to be lazy and let the women do the work.

dudegutarman · Answer

I believe that it may be an aftershock of the feminist movement. Men realized that, although the predominant sex, were still discriminated & oppressed just as much as women. Courtship used to be seen as man takes what he wants. Then consent came into society. Eventually courtship became about pleasing the female instead of the male. Now I believe that the more progressive males wish for courtship to be a fair game between 2 equal individuals.

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

honestly guys don't like games. I hate games myself. I hate guys making me jealous on purpose, I have dumped a guy because he did that and I was like good riddance. no, it's just annoying and I think honesty and communication are the most important things you got to have.

Darkfairie17 · Answer

It's true I think in a way. Sex is wayy to easy for a lot of guys to get now. Not saying all girls are easy, but it only takes a few to make it accessible for the guys. So guys feel they don't have to make that commitment anymore.

Also, I think that it has to do with money as well. Maybe guy's aren't sending flowers or buying dinner or paying for movies as much anymore because they don't see much of a return. Not saying they are just looking for sex. But appreciation I think. There are girls who take advantage of a guy's wallet. They see him as a way to get free meals, free movies and whatever else. It's not right, but they do it anyway. That could be another reason. It is pretty costly to do anything anymore, and people have to pay for school, or rent or whatever else. So its not always an option.

PatrickRory · Answer

I have chased girls in the past and I found that I really never caught any of them haha. Than for a while I forgot about girls and chilled with my friends and than I discovered if you initiate the chase, be kind and flirt with her than leave it be without being rude or ignoring her than its easier to see they are interested in me and than I really chase after em.  I just feel that girls today have this perfect guy mentality and it makes it so much tougher to not act vulnerable since you're interested in them.  Its turns me off to the whole chasing them since I'm just going to be sized up every step of the way.

Strangest · Answer

I've always wanted that one person that I can't seem to get. I want the challenge!

I might break hearts often, but some girls don't put up a fight.

I think its just me though.

I can lose interest in a girl if they hit me for attention, steal my hat often, and most of all, the attitude of an all-that kinda girl p*sses me off.

Now, some men think they are just too good for some woman, I often get this feeling, so to counter that block, I try to take my time out to actually get to know the one I'm with a little.

In NYC, since there is so many people, some woman are a great challenge and I like it. I often keep the same attitude no matter where I go, I like to put up a fight.

MobMonkeyLex711 · Answer

I'm not trying to be offensive here but most men are cowards. They'd rather be trampled by a flaming 3,000 pound tiger than talk about their feelings. Instead of just saying I like you or I don't like you, they wait for us to say it. Now, I believe there should be more balance but that doesn't mean it's gonna happen. I don't think that we should have to chase them but they shouldn't have to chase us either.

It's about time that all of us, instead of chasing, just flat out say whether we're into someone or not. All this relationship/mixed signs stuff is getting quite ridiculous. We need to know what we feel and how we feel and tell people exactly that.

Manafon · Answer

I've noticed how you tend to completely ignore what the guys say, and instead twist their words and talk about your feelings.

Perhaps this is why no guys chase you: when they open up their hearts to share their opinions, you shoot 'em down and say their feelings don't matter and yours are more important.

And anyone who meets guys on Fling.com can't fool us into thinking that women want an emotional connection before sex.

You're not fooling anyone.

Anonymous · Answer

I think if a guy really likes a girl they will chase after her. If not then they weren't really that into her in the first place. So many girls make it easy on a guy (sometimes too easy) that they get used to that and don't feel as if they have to put effort into things.

And when I say chase: I'm not saying that girls should just totally play hard to get and act like she doesn't like the guy. but I think what guys don't realize is that if a girl is super easy to get with and way too eager, most likely she is like that with every guy and has been like that with every guy that came before him...so if that's what they want then maybe they are meant to be together! Anything worth having is worth working for so if a guy feels like he should be able to get you like clockwork with him putting no effort then seems like he just wanted something quick & easy anyway

Jon364 · Answer

I have to be honest, I have never chased a girl.  I don't know why.  I think it's mainly because the ones I realllllly like, I think they are too good for me.  And the ones I don't, seem to chase me.  It's like I have a magnet only for the ones that I don't like.  Life is messed up like that.  I would like to think that I would chase a girl hard, if I thought she was the right one, but it's hard to say because girls seem to enjoy doing the chasing more then I do.  *shrug*  It's not that I think that I am better, it's just that I don't think we will have many things in common long term.  To justify the effort.  I'm not into girly things.  But those same things I find attractive and sexy.  It's messed up.

CountDove · Answer

I have never chased a woman in my life.  In my personal opinion, there haven't been any worth chasing, except one, but she didn't require chasing...so she doesn't really count.  I've been with her since, by the way.  There are more practical things for a man to waste his time on than women, because there is rarely any significant, long-lasting reward for all the work.

bellybuttonlint · Answer

Times have changed, and women are more likely to do the chasing now...though a vast majority of women still think and prefer the guy take the initiative.

I think that as women are becoming more independent they earn almost as much as guys, earn more social status, and are becoming more educated they start to do more guy things.

When girls ask guys they have a little more power in who they choose instead of just waiting for the guy to come to them. Some guys have been fed up about being rejected so they refuse to ask anymore. Sometimes the guy that you really like is the one you have to approach.

Anonymous · Answer

I would argue there just aren't that many girls worth chasing.  The characteristics of middle class american girls are so homogenized that they don't stand out from each other.  Quite frankly the only thing a woman without character/intelligence going for her is her looks.  And despite what she might think, looks doesn't last.  I could waste large amounts of effort chasing a hot girl my age for carnal pleasure, or I can devote that time to develop my self and my career so I can have any girl I want later in life.  The thing with men is that our value is based on our intelligence/experience not our looks and that gets better with time.

nbc5023 · Answer

These other men can say what they want, but in truth I think the motive is shyness. Most men perhaps because they are not as good looking as some other men they might know or know about are very unsure of themselves with women. Why this is true nowadays and not in previous times I don't know. Perhaps because the handsome men are now able to flirt with women more. Women perhaps need to now be willing to give more hints that it is alright to approach.

gotc147 · Answer

These days we have better things to do besides keep crawling back to a gril who constantly either ignores us, slaps us, insults us or humiliates us trying to "win her over".

You want us? Come and get us.

Maxfield · Answer

If you believe you deserve to be chased, you need to get over yourself. It's so absurdly selfish, like a guy asking "Hey why don't women just do whatever we say anymore? Remember the good 'ol days when we could just beat them to vent some anger? Where have all the real women gone?"

If you have respect for human beings, you don't expect them to do things you'd never do.

Anonymous · Answer

Because you girls are moderately interested and assume be should go after you purely blind folded. You make little to no indication you are interested. When you think you are obvious, I would view it as being friendly. I do not think its fair that we should go completely out on a limb to have it crack and us fall smack on our face. Sure we can go out, but you need to come at least 10%.

nice_guy7 · Answer

um, because chasing anyone is lame.  I will never ever chase a girl.  chasing people is pathetic, two people should just like each other and not play stupid hard to get games.  I hate when girls play hard ot get, and if they do I write them off and ignore them.  if you don;t show interest and make it easy then I don't want you.

wild-tangent · Answer

I hate chasing girls. They've gotten so absolutely stale and same-y. Big boots with their pants tucked into them and big bug-eyed glasses. It's practically uniform. No variety. It's like eating burgers every day for dinner. Wonderful novelty at first, but then you get sick of it and just want some sushi.

And no, it's not that there's no challenge, it's that it's not worth it. Plus I've had some really sh*tty shoot-downs that were just pretty f***ing abusive. After getting beer dumped over my really expensive suit, I decided "f*** this," because it was the fifth damn time I'd had to go to the cleaners with this exact problem. It's not my approach, and it's not the way I look- I just figure it's easier to get asked out. That's how I got in the relationship that I'm in now.

Teddyluver · Answer

I think it's  because we live in a very slutty generation lol. I know very few 14 year olds who are still virgins... its kinda gross if you ask me. Not all girls throw themselves at guys but the majority of us do, so to the guys they can get any girl  because most of us are whores... no offense.

Fitzcarraldo · Answer

Show me a woman who's worth chasing, and I'll chase her.  Most girls are inconsistent, cruel, insecure, in debt, and can't talk about anything other than their feeeeelings.  Not worth my time.

Anonymous · Answer

Guys love to chase but they can only show so much interest as to not make it too easy for the girl. She will get uninterested if he chases her too much because she will aready know that he wants her. When a guy shows minimal interest it gest the girl to chase the guys at least partly because girls do like to have to work for a challenging guy, a guy that's constantly chasing you is not much of a challeng, so it is within the guys best interest to not chase a girl totaly but just enough to hook her in to her to chase him, so it goes both ways but the guy should initiate it but in the end just who is chasing who? Anything that's gets chased runs away, but the prey becomes the hunter.

Anonymous · Answer

there are still guys out there who will chase... you just have to know how to play the game and keep a poker face.

ignore them and they will come (works like a charm ;) ), and if they don't - then they're not worth your time or effort imo and you move forward. Their loss.

I like a guy who chases, personally, it's all apart of wooing a woman. If they don't, then it wasn't meant to be and/or they'll have to settle for someone who is willing to throw themselves at them, but in my opinion that shows weakness and insecurities - A couple attributes men dislike when it comes to long-term commitment and possibly being the mother of their child.

You should take a psychology class, you'd probably like it. :)

Anonymous · Answer

when I was 23, I was falsely accused of sexual harassment, just because I said "hello to the wrong woman. they made me sit through a sexual harassment video and I got a written warning. I swore from then on, that any woman that wanted me, would have to ask me out, and make the first move. I swore I would not even look at a girl or say hello, unless she said hi first!

I am 40 now. and still single. I kept my word

Kindawiseguy · Answer

Guys never liked chasing after a girl whose leaving them. I mean, we'd really prefer the girl not leave us at all. If I like the girl enough I'll chase her but only if I feel there's a chance. If not then she can keep on walking away from me. I'll move on and hopefully find a girl who won't leave me. because frankly she is no longer my responsibility when she walks away. That's what it means when you exit a relationship.

hugo29 · Answer

I don't know about chasing, for me I never been a chaser, I flirt a lot with random girls on random occasions, but the word chasing is not in my category!  Chasing, trying to be nice taking her out and doing nice things are all just boring for me. If a girl is interested I would know-facial impression and just go and ask her out, what's the worst that could happen?! If she plays games, or implies that  I don't deserve her time then next girl, no biggy.  But I would never drop everything and start chasing her! What's the point?

TheGodEmperorLeto · Answer

Because we're getting sick and tired of constantly doing the chasing and sh*t. For once, come after us . It makes us feel good too, you know? You enjoy the guy coming to you and being the first to initiate something?Makes you feel good? Right? Don't you think it would make us feel good too? Make it too easy? pfft... you girls are a pain in the ass.

Anonymous · Answer

Could be reasons of our economy...guys don't have enough money for dating, hookers, escorts, etc. But your question... "Do you think we make it too easy for ya'll?" ... If anything, it's always being difficult for me. I've approached more women in my life than I can count, and my success rate has not being good. Mostly just a few girlfriends here and there to give me some continuality with sex at a given time in my life, with some play time in between. And so, yes, I'd rather make the girl make things happen for a change, that way I know she's aggressive enough to make things happen, to commit to a date and passion. Many girls I approached shied away from me after giving me the eye. This is why I usually stay away from shy girls...I just don't think anything is going to happen, and it usually never does.

Anonymous · Answer

Because chasing is stupid. If a girl likes a guy and the guy likes the girl you should just be adults and start dating.

The reality is many girls don't. For various reasons they wanna chase and guys are just getting tired of it TBH.

Why spend needless amounts of money and energy chasing teases and dead-ends when I could use that money and time to further my own interests with some actual reward?

If girls are having to chase guys now it is because you lot have played that silly game to death and guys are refusing to play. ;)

Alaskaman · Answer

why should guys "chase" women? if we are an equal society, then women should ask guys out, pay for dates at least 50% of the time.

bottom line is, rejection is not so great. I think it's awesome that women ask me out, offer to pay their share of date expenses.

I'm enough of a gentleman to at least give them a warm good night kiss for paying for a good meal, and not worrying a thing about if they don't call me the next day like they promised to... LOL

Xenophobia · Answer

ehhh if you want my opinion...I don't feel like chasing girls is worth my time. I've had girls play me and lead me on to the point, where I have become completely apathetic towards chasing. I don't think its fair for either gender to do it to each other.

Chasing is more of a sign of immaturity and teasing, and I really don't like it.

GIntrovert · Answer

No. Mostly because most of use don't want to make a girl we like feel harassed. We know guys who chase girls are seen as an annoyance, mostly because girls tell us. Eg.

jojowriter · Answer

Most of us guys have finally figured that all that chas'n is just one big waste of energy, and exhaustion with little or nothing to show. We are tired of playing puppet to woman's emotional drama and self esteem building schemes. We would much prefer to be up front and honest and real. Some girls understand this and just ask for what they want.

StealthPrince · Answer

I may aswell throw my 2 cents in. I don't chase girls anymore because rejection hurts. Also cocky blokes have created a stereotype in which I don't want to be. Now-days id rather sit back and watch blokes make fools of themselfs & just maybe one day a girl will walk up to me and ask how I'm doing, Then I will now that she is interested in me and not be looking over my shoulder looking for someone better or her friends.

Eamzy · Answer

I wouldn't agree with you. But to be honest it seems like girls always feel like there is a competition on to get the nicest guy because they ALWAYS try to look their best and won't do anything that spoils their reputation at all. Guys just don't care as much as girls.

Anonymous · Answer

the times have changed. I think we've moved to too much of an extreme. we wanted to be liberated from the chains of men, so they've let us go. completely. and never went after us. I think it's honestly both, but starting with men.  because of how they treated women in history and we had to break free, but there must be an equilibrium. adam has no eve if eve doesn't want to be cared for, or at least if she touts it. I think it's a sad fact. but fear not! there are still prince charmings out there. I promise you that! or just move to the south :) southern gentlemen are the best :)

cutestkathy · Answer

I think most women are so venal that it's a turn-off.  Guys resign themselves to prostitutes more and more...

Daydreamer · Answer

Who likes a chase?! I hate playing games. If he acts like he's not interested then I'm not wasting my time. I don't want to have to prove myself to a guy that I'm good enough for him.

pervertedjester · Answer

We're just tired of it. You know what we want and we're just tired of trying to be psychic all the time. We ask: what is wrong? You say: Nothing. If we leave it at that then we get in trouble. Genetically speaking we have become so repulsed by this conversation, we tend to give up on you on a any kind of personal level.

We want you to come to us now. That way you have to work to keep us.

BrookeleShort · Answer

Yeah, girls are way more easy nowadays=P, I don't know know though I think it depends on the guy, my now Boyfriend of 7 months chased me to the bitter end it was a lot of fun actually, but he's the type to get what he wants so I think it has to do with the guys' personality

Crazy_Staci · Answer

To be honest with you, most girls are so out there and willing to give anything for a guys attention (yes, anything), that guys are just at the point that they don't have to worry about anything. They will get what they want whenever they want it. They have so much confidence that if one girl doesn't ask them, another will...exactly like you said: it is us to blame!

It actually makes it harder for other girls to date or even find a nice guy.

Nutz76 · Answer

Are you sure it's not just your looks are fading so they attention you're getting is starting to wane? It's going to happen as you get older, so don't confuse that with what you're describing.

Anyway, in general I don't think guys chase less than they used to. If anything I think because of shows like The Pickup Artist and books like The Game, as well as the growing industry of dating and pickup coaches, guys are chasing women more now than ever.

Adeniyi · Answer

I like when you play hard to get, but sometimes you girls take it overboard and then it becomes stupid after a while.Lets noot forget that there is  billions of other women out there, if you play too hard to get then FORGET YOU.However I would agree with the fact that if you are in love and you are thinking about getting married then you should play very hard to get.  because you gonna be with that man for the rest of your life and you want him to treat you right.

AdamAmazing · Answer

I blame the girls. Because of the fact that you all try playing games with us, and testing us to see if were faithful. Seriously if you want to find out if were faithful then just wait and see, that's really the only way. That plus don't play games with the guys head. It just going to give us headackes and confuse us. Then we get mad and give up so yeah, just a word from the wise lol.

Trypno · Answer

In my experience, after years of constant rejection, being friend-zoned, told I was like a brother, and being threatened with restraining orders, pursuing women comes across as desperate and creepy.
Being nice and respectful to the women you're interested in, as many of my male brethren were raised by their mothers to be, comes across as effeminate and weak.
I've watched numerous girls I was interested in make the mistake of running off with 'the bad boy', only to find themselves miserable or in abusive situations, and when a guy, such as myself, tries to stop a girl from making that mistake, he's told to back off.
I've been crushing pretty hard on a girl for the past few years. I'd love to pursue her, but she's threatened me numerous times with restraining orders, just for contacting her over facebook, or the phone. I know where she works but I don't go to see her for those reasons, I know my boundaries.
I'm close to giving up.

caleytega · Answer

dear may be it's because of how ya guys do address we now,may be too much stuff and time,which guys normally don't feel like,but am the kind who likes to be with my lady,even though am single,

i do like your score,and your profile,can we be friends,?

may be we can learn and share ideas together,

,i do await your reply,

enjoy your day dear,

Caley Tega

quantumdefender · Answer

"what happened to you is rare"

but guess what, it happens more than women think, and it happened to me, and any woman that says or implies "get over it" just shows how insensitive she is to a man's feelings"

there are tons of websites out there about men who are falsely accused of things and they are scarred. and women just don't care how men feel.

women always ask why there are so many bitter men.

Anonymous · Answer

What is the point to pursue any girl if you already know the outcome. You say you make yourselves easy? You call a relationship which is impossible to have a challenge? Smart men who have money and a life have better things to do than waist time on you. You have your sites set to only allow your favorite man of your group of men into your life for him to only to be replaced if better comes along. Do you think this behavior makes you look any bit attractive? Go Womans Rights so woman can compete and have sex with that same one guy with the lottery ticket! For average men this is not called giving up this is called the reality that woman have created for us. WOMAN ARE PROFESSIONAL GAMBLING RELATIONSHIP ADDICTS.

See Ya !

tyrantfuryre · Answer

No because chasing is for children. I'm not saying be super easy, but don't play games and make us guess too much. That always causes problems and frustration. Save it.

pink333 · Answer

When a guy likes a girl & he knows that the girl likes him back/ feels the same way about him, the thrill of the chase is gone because he knows he already has her, so then he doesn't make much of an effort to "go after her". The girl then has to start the convo often -this is VERY common among young people nowadays.

Ceesa · Answer

What guys liked to for thousands of years ago, they still like to do it now.

But they key factor here, old times it wasn't playing games, girls were hard to get because they were brought up that way!

Not to give in to anyone unless he's a worthy so eventually they'll get married..hmm..These days. NOPE! Girls would sleep around with anyone when they're drunk.. maybe if he's cute! So, if you don't have any standards your just playing games, why on earth would he wanna chase you?

MaliciousAnomally · Answer

Skanks want money and power.  Girls would rather run then man up.  Why should I waste 30-45 minutes of my time to get to know them especially when it's just as easy to find a no holds barred f***fest.  You're right, you want the chase but we tired over that due to the evil skanks breaking hearts.   Guys aren't heartless by nature, we're created.

obscene · Answer

There are a few reasons for this:

1) We're equal nowadays. Guys can chase girls, and girls can chase the men. Now we BOTH have to feel rejection!

2) Guys that keep chasing girls risk being rejected and branded as a "stalker" or a "perv" or some other name-calling

3) Women throwing themselves at us is a problem of a slightly lesser degree, but it is there somewhat

For the record, I've been rejected A LOT

BloodMerchant · Answer

I don't really chase girls anymore, because honestly, it's getting tedious and boring with all the chasing. I don't want it to be too easy, but chasing is just childish and boring. I don't like to play games and figure out whether a girl likes me or not by deciphering her mixed signals. If she acts like she isn't interested, I just move on and stop wasting my time on her.

The_Box · Answer

Because giving girls attention makes them think they're too good for you.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh boy, so really still no clarity on this situation!  I think if a guy likes you he will want to be with you and talk to you, all in a non-clingy/needy way!  I also think that if a guy likes you and he does not "chase" you to some extent that he is lazy and just not that interested.  If he is not willing to put in some effort to courting me, then what does that say about the effort he will put into a relationship.  All that being said, I do believe that it a woman should "chase" but on a much smaller scale than a man.

chiefnavarro · Answer

yeah I sit back and learn about women first. I don't want to end up with a ho or an ex slut so I have to get to know them first. when your hunting it seems you dive into relationships with people based purely on looks. I don't think that's the way to go about things.

chase hahahahah

appleshampoo · Answer

Do I chase girls?  No, it's needy. Do I approach girls I find attractive, initiate the conversation and get the ball rolling, yes.

darkangelina · Answer

LOL.. women are chasing men these days and its very pathetic to watch and funny too =)

its funny though, because even after a girl chases a guy and gets him, he leaves her for a girl who he had to chase. Irony?

Anonymous · Answer

i don't like chasing guys and I hate it when guys chase me I awlays love guys when they give pride to themselves...after all love doesn't really need chansing give it their time you know when it is there..why chase at all?when you like someone be upfront you don't want to lose something you want really..none should be chasing noone let it happen when you feel it..

Guys just don't invest much in women like they used to. (Page 2)

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