What do guys first notice about girls when they see them?

Question

To be honest, I'm very self conscious. I'm worried about my weight, my looks, etc. But sometimes I wonder if I'll ever meet someone my type. I mean yeah, I like a guy, but I don't know if he even sees me as his friend.

I'm wondering if looks really do matter when guys are trying to meet girls. Do all guys have a little bit shallowness in them? Like I have a few beauty marks on my face and I'm always nervous when I'm around guys because I think that people would see me as not pretty, even though my friends say I am.

But I always get really self-conscious when I'm around friends that are considered "hot" and it sort of brings me down. So what do I do? Should I just stop concentrating on my weight and looks? The thing I want to do most is to be able to talk to the guy I like while actually looking at him in the eyes, instead of just averting my attention sporadically.

Jessicafromboston · Accepted Answer

I completely get what you are saying. All my recommendations would be the same as what most of the girls and guys have already posted.

However, I would just like to be realistic and mention that in the world of today, looks really do count, regardless of what people say. This is because the competition out there is so big, especially now a days. Before it used to be that a girl who was usually pretty, wasn't hot, or if she was both, she definitely wasn't intelligent, or confident or easy to talk too. However, today there are so many girls that are beautiful, hot, intelligent, confident, easy to talk to, humorous and etc ... that you just have to try to be the best you can be in all aspects.

Therefore looks are important, as they say it's your 'business card', it's the first thing guys see, and it's what makes them approach you or not in the first place. Then of course they will see if you have a nice personality. However, how will they approach you in the first place when there are so many good looking girls around, who are as nice, funny and smart as you are?

All I'm saying is please be realistic and realize that yes you should care about your body and your appearance. Try to exercise and maintain a healthy weight. Take care of your hair, your teeth and your skin (use sunblock). There are basic things that every girl should try to do and which don't require a lot of money. Remember to always be clean as well and look presentable. You never know when you might meet someone ...

That doesn't mean to forget about the rest and became a completely vain person. Not at all! You should focus just as much on your work, school and other activities, as well as on your personality, confidence and sense of humour. Every thing counts, so just try to be the best person you can. You'll see you won't regret it! Somethings will even come naturally as you go along. Your confidence will definitely improve and just by being happier you'll also have a better sense of humour :).

I hope this helps! I was only trying to say how it really is out there, and not just saying what it is you want to hear to boost yourself. Good luck! If you need anything, I'm here to help!

JeVousAime · Accepted Answer

Never listen to your friends when they say you're pretty - Often they're just saying it because they're in a good mood or want some relationship points!

You just need to convince yourself that it really doesn't matter if you're pretty or not.

There's this guy that I liked for about 2 years, and I thought he was absolutely amazing. I found out during this time that he liked a girl who was pretty, skinny, funny and basically perfect in my eyes! I was really jealous of her for ages, I mean I was really infatuated with the guy! Then one day I realized he wasn't a nice guy, he was a prick - just not a nice person.

He recently got a girlfriend (which surprised me) and I really didn't care that much. Actually... I felt pretty good! His new girlfriend was the complete opposite of the girl he liked before! She isn't pretty, of average size and she seems a bit dull to be honest!

I was REALLY surprised at this point because I always thought he was so shallow! I thought there was something wrong with ME because he rejected me - thought I was 'perfect' enough - but turns out he really likes this girl.

I figured it was because he knew her and because they were friends - the other girl was just this girl who walked around school, he never really talked to her, he just found her sexually attractive!

Anyway... I was making a point! At first looks count - but then once a guy (or girl) gets to know someone, they no longer matter as much as someone's personality.

AND ALSO, don't *stop* concentrating on your appearance, just don't make worrying about it you're top priority - live, love and be happy!

I really feel you, hun! I know exactly how you feel =]

x

nobodygirl · Accepted Answer

You sound extremely insecure. Work on that. You need to have true confidence to attract a guy--think about it, would you want a boyfriend who was always worrying about his muscles?

Talk to a doctor about your weight and see how to become more healthy, if you honestly do have a problem. Learn how to apply makeup well (you don't need to cover up your moles, many models have them and some guys think they're sexy) and buy clothes to flatter you.

When you meet guys, smile a lot, talk to them, be interested in them and they'll be flattered. If you like a guy, make friends with him and use a little flirty body language so he knows you like him. You don't need to constantly look in your guy's eyes. My guy friend says that when girls look away for a second and bite their lips or twirl their hair before looking back, it can be really hot.

Remember, what you really need to work on is confidence, health, and making conversation. Flatter what you have, but soon it won't seem so important.

gigimushie · Accepted Answer

Im sure tons of guys do care about the way girls look, but I also know its way hotter when a girl is confident in herself. you've probably heard this before, but how can a guy like you if you don't even like yourself? as long as you become comfortable with yourself, something A LOT of girls even if they are skinny and "pretty" still have to work on, I'm sure you'll find a guy. once you feel good about yourself, even if its just dressing differently, I think you can be more comfortable talking to the guy you like.

DeanW · Accepted Answer

I think all guys (all people) have a little bit of "shallowness" in them. I'm not sure it's necessarily shallowness (for example - healthy people look healthy and thus better than sick people, so it may be instinct, not intellect). With that said, I agree with sexwiseman, particularly in his point about people looking for certain types. I for one, don't like blonds. As a guy I think I am supposed to, but I don't. At all.

What do you mean by "beauty marks"? Where they are and how prominent they are can make them noteworthy or not. The prettiest girl I've ever known had two scars on her face from a childhood accident in which she fell through a glass table. But they were inconspicuous (top of nose and along an eyebrow) and didn't prevent her from modeling. Point being, it may not matter.

The first step toward feeling less self-conscious is to smile. Not only is this welcoming, but psychologically and physiologically, it helps make you feel comfortable and happy (not entirely, but it helps). Straighten your back up. Doing these two things will help make you more comfortable. And then take it in baby steps. If the eyes are intimidating, decide that you will touch his shoulder once during the conversation. And then feel good about that. Give yourself something to aim for and reward yourself for achieving it. As for the others who are telling you to be confident, set that aside for now. It may be important, it may not. I've never liked a girl and decided not to pursue her because I thought she "lacked confidence." I've aimed instead to make her life better. We men are generally not allowed to show insecurity around the ladies - as a result, we tend to sympathize with those who are down on their luck. So give yourself goals, aim to achieve those, and approach with the right body posture. Once you have successes, then you will be able to feel confident as you draw on past success.

homer · Accepted Answer

I usually look at their hair and notice their wavy locks. Their highlights usually don't get unnoticed either. Then go down a bit and look at her perfectly arched eye-brows. Just about the same time, I notice her immaculate make-up and how the tone of the foundation on her cheeks match the skin color on her neck. Then the lips of course. Smeared with a extra shiny and glittery lipstick.

While I am thinking to myself, what a beautiful girl, I start noticing her body. Her perfect upper body, with a thin waist and a total eye opener, the hips!! mmm.. Then of course, the outfit over this perfect body, the tank top, and the matching belt, the latest fashion jeans with a toned-down matching pair of shoes. Ohh, did I mention her perfect arms and the wrists and her great taste in accessories such as the necklace and the bracelet?

But this is all when I see her walking towards me... Now if she is walking away from me, that's another set of things I notice and I think I will leave that for another discussion. And if you really thought all those are going thru my head... well, think again!

gthcsmt · Answer

It totally depends on the guy. But if a guy were to judge you on your looks, then those aren't the guys you want to be hanging around with or going out with. The thing is you have to get to know people before you actually know their characteristics and who they really are.

One important quality I look for in a girl is confidence for sure!! If you are a really outgoing girl and friendly to everybody, it really doesn't matter on your looks, that would for sure draw my attention to you and I would want to get to know you better.

Honestly I think the only difference between a "hot" girl and an "average" girl would be that the hot girl doesn't have to be outgoing at all and just their looks will attract guys from all over, but then again, they are most likely attracting the wrong kind of guys at the same time whereas the average girls will have to work on it more by being more outgoing to attract the guys. But don't worry girl, be confident!! Personally I rather date an average chick with a great personality that is open and confident than a hot chick that is cocky and "thinks she can get any guy"....

Good luck.

sexwiseman · Answer

Just like you're are insecure about your looks, so are most guys. At some point we all are, but you can't go on life worrying about that. There are all types of guys also. Some guys concentrate on girls with big boobs, other guys want girls that can play sports, other guys want short girls, other guys want blonde girls, and on, and on, and on. Trust me----there are plenty of guys out there looking for girls, and I'm sure you will meet the criteria of many guys! But as you can see, You can't please everybody, cause we all got different tastes, just like you do. I'm sure you have your own preference when it comes to guys---you either like them dark or light, or with short hair or long hair, and on and on and on....

What you need to concentrate is on talking to the guys or appearing approachable. I can tell you that guys don't like (and I could say guys despise) girls who spend their time worrying about how they look because believe it or not, it will come out in when you talk to the guy; and even though you might be pretty, if you come out as a girl that is constantly worrying about how you look, guys will start running away from you. Accept your beauty, and now move on to the next stage of improving your social skills when you talk to guys.

revraidon · Answer

A very major thing that most people aren't aware of is how important symmetry in the face and body is. This goes for both men and women, but has been documented with studies on supermodels and actors. I don't know why people feel physical attraction is shallow. I enjoy beauty. There is no such thing as perfect art and it varies by culture.

From an evolutionary standpoint the features we had to find in a mate was large hips and big breasts. About 18% body fat and smaller breasts than you think. It's sad that women have a much more screwed sense of the ideal body type than men do. Our ideal body type is the closest for what is ideal for the difficult process of human reproduction. Even 200 years ago infant death and still born were frequent, mothers tended to die. Big sacrifice we make to have heads this big. Thus sexual attraction helped both our child and the mom to survive child birth and the son or daughter growing to reproductive age.

From studies of dating websites, many men don't even look at the profile, simply the picture. Looks are very important for most men on initial attraction and deciding to approach.

What I would change first is your low self image and self-effacing behavior. Men do tend to avoid that, though there are the ones that like to be heroes. I'd highly recommend going to a gym. This changes your mood, your outlook, how you feel about yourself plus you're healthier which even a non superficial man should find positive. You're young, there is plenty of time to find someone special.

CrazyAce · Answer

Yeah, everyone is a little shallow but, that's not the right word. While beauty isn't the most important thing it is the first thing a guy will typically notice; it's what draws us to talk to a certain girl.  So you could say beauty is the bait, but a girl's personalty is the trap, which can keep us forever, or in a weak personality lose us.  but, there are many attractive qualities, for example, an important one is confidence.  So don't worry so much about your looks, cause it could make someone less attractive.

Tm89williams · Answer

I'm not going to lie, looks do matter for me a bit. It is about 40/60 looks to personality. The 40 percent only matter for the first impression though. After that if we aren't compatible on a personal level it doesn't matter how "hot" the girl is. I want someone I enjoy being around and can talk to comfortably. Not someone just to look at all the time haha.

The first think I notice is the hair, then it goes down to the face (eyes and lips mainly) finally I check out the body. But like I said before, I am not completely shallow, personally is more important to me.

Be yourself and be happy with your looks. Guys will pick up on this and it will help drastically. If there is a guy you like, go up and talk to him. You can do it. =)

Baby-Gurl · Answer

Don't worry about your friends who are consider "hot" because if you are confident about yourself guys will see that and then you will be attractive to them The guy your crushing on let him know that your intested in him smile and say hi don't worry to much about your looks and weight that's only one part of you.

joanajones · Answer

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Anonymous · Answer

Work with what you have, girl! Be proud of who you are. Just like you are looking for something specific in a guy, they are doing the same for girls. You won't know what he's looking for tho if you don't give off a ray of confidence and show him how awesome you think you are. Good luck!

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly, They notice your body first because it's kinda on display whether you like it or not.

MH456 · Answer

I usually see their smile.

What do guys first notice about girls when they see them?

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