If she has a cold sore on her upper lip on the second date, what do you do?

Question

I went out with this very nice girl and hooked up (kissed, massaged one another, and spooned) all night. I asked her out on a second date and she had an open cold sore on her upper lip.

Now, she is really cool, but I have only dated her once prior to the cold sore. Should I stay, or should I go?

I really don't want to hurt her, she's really nice, but I don't want a cold sore (I hope I didn't catch it; I didn't kiss her when she had it). So I figure that if I drop her now with a white lie, she'll be better off.

Please help!

Apothecia · Accepted Answer

I have HSV-2, a. k. a. >>>HERPES<<< oh no! BUT, I don't have HSV-1. I would be very upset if some dude made out with me and didn't tell me he has facial herpes (more softly put, gets cold sores). FACT: I will never spread my herpes to a child, but facial herpes is readily spread to children just by sharing a soda. FACT: facial herpes can more easily be spread to your eyes as well as cause encephalitis of the brain, whic can cause cerebral dysfunction, the kind of herpes I have doesn't do that either. FACT: facial herpes can spread via viral shedding, even if someone doesn't have any visible cold sores. FACT: COLD SORES CAN CAUSE GENITAL HERPES. Yet, if someone with a history of cold sores kisses me (I have been tested, and I don't have HSV-1) without telling me they are exposing me, it is socially okay. BUT, if I have sex with someone and don't tell them about my herpes then I am an awful person. It is perfectly okay for someone not to date me because they don't want to catch my herpes, and it is perfectly okay for you to not date this person because you don't want to be exposed to her herpes. It would also be a very good idea for you, and anyone and everyone who reads this, to get tested, though. Make sure you specifically say you want HSV-1 and HSV-2 testing - both kinds. Over 90% of the people who have it don't even know it because they don't get breakouts. It's like chicken pox (which, by the way, is also in the herpes family). I was with a guy a while ago and told him after the fact (which, by the way, is no different than the girl making out with you and not telling you before hand). We both got tested, and he was surprised to find that he tested positive for HSV-1. Therefore, he was just as guilty for putting me at risk as I was for putting him at risk. We broke up, but I know he still doesn't tell anyone that he dates about his positive status. I, however, have told every single potential partner ever since then, because it is morally wrong to secretly put people at risk for catching a lifelong disease. That being said, the physical symptoms aren't even really that bad. I would much rather have it where I have it than get that crap on my face.

ivarei · Accepted Answer

you need to look up herpes. nearly EVERY human being on the planet has the herpes virus in their body. just because she gets the occasional cold sore, doesn't mean she has raging oral or genital herpes. those sorts of herpes are completely different from the sort that give you common warts on your fingers or cold sores. yes, it's contagious, and no it's not a good idea to snog someone with a cold sore. but in all likely hood, you've got herpes as well, but your body doesn't show signs of it. it's not something you break up with someone over because a significant percentage of people get cold sores at some point in their life.

however, don't let her give you a blowjob while she has a cold sore, because then you can get genital warts. in a few days, that cold sore will be gone and you'll have nothing to worry about, just be smart about it. but it doesn't mean she's promiscuous or has warts elsewhere on her body, it probably just means that her mother has that strand of herpes and she inherited it in the womb, just like her mother probably did her mother.

dncrlisa · Accepted Answer

thats really funny I must say but you probly don't know much about cold sores do you?

ok I get cold sores from time to time, I get them usually when I'm sick. I've probly had one once this year.

I think this is stupid of you to do, she's a good chick so you say you like her an there's nothing wrong with cold sores its not like she's gona have a cold sore on her face forever it goes awa.

its herpes and its in your genetics if you have the virus or not.

you probly don't have it an you could kiss her an not even get one.

its not good for her to kiss guys cus it might spreed on her face.

, just say babe I want you but go buy some coldsore cream. problem solved.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

wow a lot of people on here don't know much about herpes and that's scary.  Look dude HSV1 is Cold sores And HSV2 is genital herpes thay are different strains but are 99 % the same virus.  It sucks when you have a good girl who has cold sore and you dontwant to catch it, I'm going through the same thing with my girl.  Cold sores are contagious when present, but also contagious around 10% of the time when the sore is not present this is called asymptomatic shedding so around 36 days a year the virus is present on the skin when no sore is there.  Scary,. I know.  also HSV1  cannot turn into HSV2 no matter what, But HSV1  (coldsore) can be transfered to the genital this is called Genital HSV1 it accounts for what is now to be believed to be 50 % of new Genital herpes.  It can be also transfered to the genitals during the Asymptomatic shedding that I spoke of earlier.  And for the record you are not born with the herpes virus a virus is contracted.  People like to kiss babies all the time that's why people think you can be born with it cus they have had it since such a young age..  Don't let false info out there fool you man.. But for your comfort its said to be 70 to 90 % of americans have HSV1 so chances are you have been exposed to it before some people will never get an outbreak and some will have many.  Another key fact is that if you do have HSV1 the antibodies that your body produces to fight the virus will help protect you from getting HSV2 (Genital Herpes )  Not 100 % but some. I like my girlfriend very much but I don't want to catch anything this sounds sh*tty but your health is nothing to play around with I have been tested and I don't have HSV1 you should get checked out to make sure you don't already have it and if you do keep the chick.  Tough decision I know but whatever you decide it will be the right decision for you

Orygun · Accepted Answer

Here is what I asked her. One week into this dealio we began. I'm dating a sweet girl and asked her this today; after kissing her last night and noticed a tiny red dot a week after she didn't have one. She didn't try to cover it or hide it ever. We were face to face, kissing dancing havin a couple beers...

I have a question some people are offensive to answer. But I care more to ask than to have later not... Since we been kissing; and in such a hurry.. I would like to know if you've obtained or been exposed to any form of viral or genital cooties? It's 2009 and unfortunatly there isn't much morality left in everyones soul.

Anonymous · Answer

Okay first of all, it's just a cold sore for gods sake. Lots of people get them, it is what it is. If she didn't have it when you kissed her then you are not going to catch it. But If some guy stopped seeing me because I just happened to get a cold sore, then he wouldn't be worth my time anyways. My ex boyfriend got cold sores every now and then and I just wouldn't kiss him while he had it. I still to this day have never had a cold sore, but they are not that big of a deal. I'm sure that the next time you see this girl that cold sore will be gone, if not just barely there.

paigems · Answer

Don't leave her because of a cold sore! I have a cold sore right now, and it's not from any kind of std or sti. One of my friends has cold sore looking things all the time because he's on accutane, and another of my friends gets frequent cold sores because she has a vitamin B deficiency, and almost everyone gets the occasional cold sore. Why don't you just ask her about it before assuming stuff?

Bubbles · Answer

Lol. were do you think she got it from blowing anougher guy, and she caught something. cold sore I get them now and then usally cause of a cold, so I would relax. Maybe she had a little cold over the week so she could have been comeing down with out. But I wouldn't drop her cause of a stupid cold sore, and of coruse your guy friends are going to tell you to drop her. You got a mind of your own use it.

TheAnswerer · Answer

Dont kiss her, but don't leave her. She is not a tissue that you use and throw into the trash a little later. Also, are you going to leave her just because of one sore upper-lip? What about her overall beauty? What about her personality? What about whether if you feel nice just because you are with her? I think you should consider these before dumping her like you dump a smelly rotten apple.

drumchick_10 · Answer

The important thing to know is that a cold sore is a form of herpes and that it can be passed by kissing. If she gives you oral, you can get herpes. Or if you gave a girl oral who had herpes you could get a cold sore. BUT that's only if it's an active outbreak. Cold sores are contagious if they are weeping and open. My husband gave me my very first cold sore before we were married and neither of us have herpes or anything down there so it's not like it's the plague. You just have to use your head and educate yourself instead of listening to your friends.

jacquesvol · Answer

About everyone gets  cold sores:   if you drop a girl because of that you'll end up in celibacy. Acyclovir works.

loverorbestfriend · Answer

Look, this is not about hurting her or whatever...this is about you. Don't be Mr. Nice Guy, be realistic...as momma says, common sense can guide you through life.

DUMP HER and never look back. If you must, make up a white lie but dump her.

shawna · Answer

are you serious a cold sore ... that's not a very big deal they go away ... as long as she didn't suck your d*** your fine to date her ... just don't let her go down there when she does have a cold sore because you could get herpes!

girlsguys88 · Answer

dont kiss her for a while you're ripe for catching it.  you're not a jerk at all, you don't want it!

Anonymous · Answer

It has a name, herpes. Yeah the rash reappear when your immune system is weak aka sick..  It's all up to you to stay or leave.

Orygun · Answer

And she replied that with papers actually so, if your unsure just use my question above. I'm 4 years younger @ 22 and she was glad I asked... Just be yourself and pray if uncertain !

Marrryyyyy · Answer

chill with her but don't kiss

Anonymous · Answer

pure ignorance, right here.

If she has a cold sore on her upper lip on the second date, what do you do?

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