That's It! When to Call it Quits

[lexus]

I love women; curvy ones, slender ones, blonde, brunette, and red heads. Women are wonderful creatures and I cannot imagine life without them. However, when you are serious about settling down and finding the right one, things can get a little hairy.

Let me explain.

At one point, not too long ago, I thought I might have found her, the one, numero uno. We had been dating for a little over a year and everything was perfect, well, as perfect as it can get. Let's face it; men and women are cut from a different cloth. What a woman may believe is crucial, a man will probably take with a grain of salt.

For instance, I have yet to see the importance of stopping for directions when I have taken a slight detour. We will get there, eventually. I clip my toenails and a stray one finds itself on the bathroom floor. Will it really offend a woman's feminine sensibilities to dispose of it? Never mind that I had not clipped my toenails in several months and the thing was as big as a Frisbee. The concept of men and women together forever, as man and wife, well, I'm going to have to ask the Big Man in the Sky about this one.

As I stated previously, I finally thought my search was over and I was possibly on my way to wedded matrimonial bliss. I was soon to discover that the Wedding March was not a tune I could name in one note in this relationship. The downfall of our loving union happened in the twinkle of an eye. One minute all was well, the next minute the chapter on our relationship was closed forever.

I was graduating from medical school and my parents came in town for my graduation. A celebratory dinner was planned for the four of us after the ceremony. At the last conceivable minute, my girlfriend decides that she must help her brother move. Can you believe it? I sure couldn't, nor would I accept it. After all, how many times would I graduate from medical school? I did not want to hear that he had no one to help or that he had already rented the U-Haul for the day. It was my graduation.

The gauntlet was tossed; it was either me or the brother with the one day rental on a U-Haul. What, they couldn't have planned this for another day? It's not important that I could now put "Doctor" in front of my name? Well, as you may have already determined, her brother won the match and it didn't equal love in our courtship.

There comes a time in every man's life when he must determine what is important. When searching for that special someone, to settle down with, the relationship must be viewed from every possible angle. If the woman of your dreams cannot put your needs first on a momentous occasion such as graduation from medical school, then maybe parting ways is for the best. Before you slip that ring on her finger, you'd best know exactly where her priorities lie.

I came in second place to a U-Haul. I got out of there fast! The best predictor of the future is the past. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life playing second fiddle to a brother, a friend, or a pet fish.

[koibito]

1. A year is too fast to tie the knot.

2. Never give ultimatums. Never.

3. Celebratory dinners can be postponed. Unless you paid in advance. If you postponed, you could have your girlfriend AND her brother with you at the dinner, and she would be able to help her brother.

4. She also understood from your actions, that your ego is bigger than your willingness to ... help her. Help her family. Her brother.

[why_not_anonymous]

Well parents might only be in town for a moment. But otherwise, yes.

Not thrilled with the brother. If he didn't have help lined up, why didn't he consult with sis prior to asking her to ditch everything just to help him?

There's CL for gig-work, if you need help moving and don't have any friends.

[lost-angel]

Bad planning on her part. Or terrible time management.

She could've celebrated with you and your family first, then go over and help her brother.

If her brother knew he would need help, he should've asked in advance, so they could both plan accordingly.

In the end it was just bad planning. Nothing to break up over.

I wouldn't expect anyone to choose me over their family.

[chksurfer]

WoW... I feel the most saintified, forgiving person after reading this article. This is EXTREMELY childish. If she had done this repeatedly to you, then okay. But wow. It isn't some stranger, it's her family. It's just a graduation. How many girls and guys don't have their parents show up to an important event and just because of that don't "hate them for the rest of their life." If you will do that over something so small, can't image if it was something truly serious. She's better off.

[annek]

This was kind of funny. I mean I am sorry you lost out to the loser brother but isn't it better to now instead of after you are Mr. MD and she is sleeping with the pool boy while her no good brother is sleeping on your couch. But I guess I need to agree that you could have acted too rash but what the hell...your a doctor now making six figures. I bet you have no problems finding the girl of your dreams.

[when-the-rain-fall]

She must have not been very important to you, if you can just break off the relationship just because she didn't come to your gruduation.. I'm sorry, medical school graduation. You had determination and dedication to graduate from years of medical school. How is that you gave up from only a year long relationship? Woman of your dreams need to pur your needs first? What about her needs?Her priorities?What about yours?Yours lie on your stupid degrees. As long as you love someone never had enough.

[dead-mellotron]

I just don't get why when one thing goes wrong, the guy has to leave. it was an inconsiderate move on her part, but did you really have to dump her?

i'm sorry, I may have a very flawed viewpoint here, just really have a problem understanding why guys can't ever resolve anything like this without ending the relationship.

[blackwaterhattie]

I think that's a terrible story. I think you had every right to be butthurt and righteously indignant. In my little world that choice would have been a no-brainer... graduation all the way, every time. I don't understand how that would even be something to think about. Your ex sounds like my ex. We should figure out a way to make them date. Sounds like they deserve each other. :D

[happy_drifter]

If you would dump her over something like this, then you are definitly not ready for marriage yet. When there are problems is marriage are you just going to divorce your wife as easily as you dumped this girlfriend?

If you really thought she was your 'one and only' you should have tried to work through your differences, be a little understanding and act a little more mature. Making her choose between you and her family is not very mature.

[ndadrnk]

You were completely right. Think about it, people. The guy spent 6-8 years in college to get to this one day and he wanted to celebrate it with his parents and girlfriend. Oh, but she has a brother who has a U-Haul for that day. It's ridiculous. He was entirely right. She disregarded him and, presumably, the third of his life he spent in that undertaking, for a brother who he could have helped move a day before or after the occasion. She used an excuse to take herself out of his life. Good move.

[rainydaydreamaway]

... However, if you really felt she was the one, even if this really hurt your feelings and felt like she didn't value something so important/critical to your life, it may have been worth trying to work out, coming to an understanding. In marriage you will come across value conflicts that are really deep and at some point, you have to learn to work those out or do without those that matter most to you. Obviously, she needed to learn that too, but ending it didn't give either of you that chance.

[rainydaydreamaway]

Well, what I get from this is it was not just that one situation, but the one situation was the deciding factor. I do think that would be a critical event for my significant other to put as his first priority. I really think her brother could have found someone else to help him move if he couldn't have picked a different date, and my feelings would have been hurt if my guy did not show up to my graduation from med school to go help a (presumably young and healthy) family member move. She blew it

[eSHkidd]

Hahaha you thought youve find the one, youve been dating for over a year, you're graduating from medical school, and because oh she culdnt come see your ceremony (which means nothing its not like you'll only be a Dr. for one day) and you TRIP BALLS because she went to help her brother move? I could understand being a little hurt but grow a pair.

[FirstLastOnly]

Let me get this straight.

You say you found "The One" after dating for only one year? And one instance of inconsiderateness took her from the woman you would spend the rest of your life with--the love of your life--and invalidated all of your feelings for her?

Hate to break it to you, but I doubt you were in love as deep as you thought.

[DocT1977]

Their logic of "I have a hot body and a vagina, so I can lie to, manipulate and use whom ever I wish and not be held accountable", well, Quite frankly, It is a logic that has come to piss me off really. I am not saying they are all this way, But many of them are. So out of self preservation, I stay in the distance intentionally to reduce the chances of being caught up in their B. S. When you are nowhere near them, That denies them the opportunity to do what they do.

[Arfoo]

Wow you people surely are naive...he did the right thing. Sometimes you need to think for yourself. In some cases, thinking for yourself helps others as well. She probably learned a valuable lesson from this: who and what her priorities were. If this would have never happened, she probably would still be screwed up in the head.

However, I don't agree with him allowing his wife to take him to help her brother move...I approve however, if SHE threatened to leave him if he didn't help her.

[Brokenheart]

WOW...OK did you offer to pay for movers so that she can attend your graduation? She can't leave her brother stranded to watch you walk...which is nothing trust me I have graduated 5 times already whats the big deal, don't you have a video camera?

[badgrl]

Your tone is bitter & angry. I am assuming you two had a fight and not a discussion? No one wins in a fight, no one. Only the two of you know why you made such final decisions. Both of you sound like you are trying to control the relationship.

[marisa]

Wow, I didn't realize you could throw away "The One" over "one day". I didn't go to my younger brother's graduation or my cousin's - I'm surprised they still speak to me.

[Miss_All_Time_Low]

Lol, well, I thought you'd name several situations when you should "call it quits" ... but this was a hilarious story. :)

Really petty and selfish of her, as well.

[suavaye]

inconsiderate of her definitely but was it that big a deal? I mean if yu graduate and no ones around to see it, you still graduated. kinda overreacted there IMO

[icepop]

I question whether you truly had a loving union to begin with her. If her brothers circumstances were extraordinary, you may have cut her some slack. On the other hand, she may have been very torn by a tough decision. You sound inflexible and not very loving.

[Standingpretty]

That was a very sad and elighting story! thank you for putting your knowledge out thier to make everyone smarter. :)