My fiancé blocked me , wtf?

When he is super stressed out with life he shuts down for a few days and tries to fix the problem at hand. He shuts the world out (we are working on this coping mechanism ) it's unhealthy. I was really hurt because he blocked me from his phone. Since we both work a lot I havnt had the chance to stop by his house in 2 days.

I honestly don't want to be with him anymore because he keeps pushing me away. Love can only get a girl so far. Am I wrong to call off the wedding?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly it can be hard for some men to deal with problems head on. Some do need space. But I think it's unfair of him to completely block you out of his life when things get tough. What is he going to do when you two have a disagreement in your marriage? Is he going to leave the house, possibly even when you have small kids and just hang out wherever for a few days?

    To me that would be the biggest concern, as when you have young kids (if you decide to have children), it takes a lot of work. Why should you be shouldered with all that work simply because of a disagreement (and then he disappears for a couple days, to cool off)? A disagreement, no matter how huge excuses anyone from their responsibilities.

    I think you have every right for being concerned with how this might affect your relationship and future together. I'm glad to hear you two are working on it. But he needs to seek out some counselling in my opinion. It's one thing to need some space, to have a man cave or whatever. But to just disappear and block you on his phone for 2 days, that seems incredibly immature.

    Communication is important. This issue won't go away once you say I do.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You are wise. You should never get married if you have doubts before you do. That means even if the wedding is very close regardless of what canceling entails. If you don't, you will only regret doing so you will resent it more and more as time goes by. Shutting you down is totally wrong when he can just ask you for some time, unless he did so because you won't give him the time. I'm not a psychiatrist, but it really sounds like he might suffer from depression. For many, who do lock themeselves away when really down. It can last for days. Some won't even get out of bed. Depression is not what many think it is. It's not just being down about something and it doesn't mean everyone can tell when the person is out around others. It's not the same for all depressed people. He should see someone to find out. My main advice is to do what is the best thing for you, not everybody else! Otherwise you may really regret it.

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  • 1. Everyone has their own way of dealing with stress
    2. Yes it's hurtful when a loved one takes unilateral decisions when they are stressed
    3. No you aren't wrong in calling off the wedding
    4. If you guys are to be married then there have to be some changes from both ends. Here even he needs understanding that when he is inviting you to join him in life he must include you in his situations as well

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  • No you're not, you're rather lucky that you found out that early

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  • Sounds like he is right in line with what many marry men do with women. Go to a hotel room and have some peace and quite away from their wives.

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  • break up with him

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What Girls Said 13

  • That's a difficult because you could be married and have a child and he trips due to stress and ends up shutting both you and the child out. But, you know he does this and agreed to marry him. Have you ever done this to him? If he needs to go into his cave to recharge and cope wit his issues, then he needs a better communication system. Ask him to try and make contact at least once a day by text so that you still feel connected. You need to switch him up slowly because he clearly prefers to deal with his issues privately.

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  • Make him food when he comes home, make him feel comfortable, allow him to unwind, tell him whenever he's ready to talk to you about his issues, you will be there for him; but until such time that he does this, LEAVE HIM ALONE. He's a MAN. Men don't discuss their issues while they are under stress, it INCREASES their stress levels even MORE, so LEAVE him UNTIL he comes to you. Tell him it hurts you when he blocks you... Tell him how you really feel; show him how you feel. But first, let him sort himself out. Do NOT blame him or criticise him, otherwise you will only be setting yourself up for a hell of a disappointment. Make him feel understood, not blamed. It's called COMPASSION.

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  • I feel like this blocking issues will only grow and get worse when you're married.
    Blocking you is going too far. If he needs some time for himself, thats cool.
    But he is behaving like a baby lol

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  • It sounds like he issues and in all honesty, if it's a problem before marriage I don't see it getting better after marriage. If there's a warning signs prior you can almost always be sure it will just get worse and worse especially with marriage.

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  • Maybe you should check on him and tell him you won't tolerate being blocked. If you are getting married then you need to have a good communication system.

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  • I wouldn't blame you for calling things off since him doing that just causes you pain.

    Though maybe try to make one last attempt with him? As in tell him if he doesn't try to find another way, you can't stay with him because it hurts too much.

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  • Definitely not wrong. Communication is important in any relationship.

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  • Lol Just like that? You gonna call off the wedding? Lol With an attitude like that sure it would end in a divorce anyway... omggg what's wrong with You people? Didn't You hear about "talking" ? You know... humans would do that to communicate with each other? Confess their feelings, sort things out? Discuss so they could TOGETHER come with a solution?

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    • If this was a one time thing I wouldn't be so feed up. It's just he has done this so much and it hurts

    • Well did You told him that? Did You sit down and try to make You see Your side and You his? Did You told him You don't think You can handle that on a long term? Did You thought about talking to him about You 2 seek marriage counseling by a professional?

      Cause if Your not fighting than maybe You should let go and take more time before entering a serious commitment like marriage.

    • Thank u

  • I don't blame you at all. Being blocked or pushed out is super unfair on you and I myself can't cope with someone doing this to me either :(

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  • Not at all but at least try to work it out

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  • who tf blocks their fiance due to stress? It looks like you need to start investigating what's really going on.

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  • I know a guy like this but I have a question for you, was he like this when you first started dating?

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    • Yes, e has always been like this. When we where friends before becoming a couple he did this stuff too

    • Did you ever try to talk to him during those times or make sure he was still interested, in those early stages? Because I did with a guy who's like this, and now he's not talking to me, and I feel awful because I feel like I wasn't understanding enough.

    • I'm not sure I fully understand. Can you explain?

  • He clearly wants to be left alone. Give him the space he needs, but don't do anything dramatic for the time being.

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