Is it bad to fool around with your ex?

[Anonymous]

Is it bad to fool around with your ex and this other guy? And just have fun until you figure out what you want? Because your ex put you through so much. You just want to go out and have fun? And just wait and see if my ex is going to change himself for good. No lies. By the way he has never cheated on me. But I do love him. I just don't want drama. And I just want to go out and be me and find myself. So it it bad to fool around when I'm not dating anyone?

[Anonymous]

Well its kind of a catch 22. It sounds innocent enough and fun. But you could really end up hurting 1 of the guys, or even worse, both of them. I guess it would depend on how close you are with each guy. How long were you with your ex? You love your ex, and you want him to change for good.. How long have you broken up, and how much has he changed so far? If your ex has been putting a great deal of effort in getting you back and making some big changes already with lying and drama, maybe you should give him another go? I don't know the circumstances here, but if your thinking of giving him another chance, how are you going to see that he can change for good if your not with him?

In terms to the other guy, how long have you known him, been fooling around with him? Is he getting attached? Or are you getting attached to him? It is one thing to go out and have fun with friends and stuff, but when you start messing with peoples feelings and emotions, it can really hurt a person in the end. That's the only thing you have to remember.

If you really love your ex maybe give him another chance, he might end up surprising you. Its a good thing that he hasn't cheated on you. Shows that he has a heart. I'm not saying jump back right back into another relationship right away. Go out, have fun, hang out with friends, do what you need to do. Take it slow, there is no rush. You can still have lots of fun while your figuring out what you what. But give him an honest chance to show you how much he can change and how much he wants to be with you. In the end you might end up breaking the poor guys heart, and end up losing him forever. You don't want to wait too long.Sorry, but I'm a sucker for love. Love makes the world go round.

But with the other guy, If there isn't anything serious going on, you don't want lead him on. Especally if your still in love with your ex. End it sooner then later. It could just get ugly.

Either way, it is a hard decision, and it sounds like your pretty confused. If you werent in love with the ex, and the ex wasn't trying to change so much to get you back, I would say you could do all the fooling around you want until you found yourself. Its fun to have fun, but in my opinion I think you need to choose who you want to fool around with before you get stuck in your own little drama.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but I have to agree with is guy here. You shouldn't do it. I did it, and its the worst choice I ever made. I put my ex through the same thing and I ended up losing him completely. If you love him, do what you can to make it work or start from there. Go out and have fun. Do your thing. Give yourself the space that you need, he will understand and respect you. But don't get yourself involved with another guy. All your doing is breaking his heart. I know that you want to figure yourself out, but sometimes you can't have your cake and eat it too. Especally if he is putting a big effort into changing for you and showing you that he wants to be with you. I'm sure that he loves you too and will do what it takes to get you back. If you want to give him a chance, give him and chance and take it slow. If you don't think he is the one, tell him the truth. All your doing is leading both guys on, and when you make your choice, someone is going to be devistated. Trust me I know from experience. Its a really hard position to be in, but you need to go with your heart tells you here. There is nothing wrong with fooling around with your ex because you both still love each other. The idea of fooling around with this new guy sounds new and exciting, but it really isn't. Unless you hate your ex, your going to have a problem with it and not have fun. Don't make the same mistake I did. Once he is gone, he's probably gone.