Why we should stop pretending

Why we should stop pretending

Have you ever changed for a guy? Changed for a girl?

Have you ever pretended just a little bit, because it's easier to get love that way?

Be careful, the road ahead is bumpy.

No matter how long we've known the guy, how much we trust him or how well he treats us, we question every thing about ourselves. It's in out nature, a natural instinct telling us "this is not good enough". This is passed on from girl to girl, how men like their women, what men really want and how to be the perfect wifey. So we start playing games. Based on all the expectations we think guys have for us (wich are all bullshit by the way) we start pretending to someone we aren't. We pretend to be perfect, creating a personality and energy so unmaintainable it is bound to go wrong.

We act happy, sexy, flirty because we think, that we have too. The truth is though, this doesn't make us happy. This makes us sad. We start feeling a pressure, wefeel like we're not good enough and when we can no longer keep up, we start being us selves. Then the guy then asks us "what's wrong". He notice you've changed, you'll tell him (as the good girlfriends we are) that "nothings wrong" and you'll both be dissapointed because the relationship has changed, and it's all down hill from there. This is the reason why so many relationships end.

When the mask comes off, the guy blames you because you've changed. He no longer feels like you're the girl he fell in love with and he gets upset. You feel pressured and sad because you can't live up to his expectations for you and this creates a distance so big, the relationship is bound to end.

In my opinion this could've all been avoided, with small adjustments. In the end, we are our own worst enemy, we make up all theese problems and flaws to get rid of, so that we can find the love of our life. Truth is, it's all in your head. Of couse, there's always ways to improve, but focus on your own personality and what YOU like about yourself. If you love what you see, others will do it too. Girls tend to think, that they should believe every one of their girlfriends stories about guys. But the only advice you really need is your own.

The whole idea of a good relationship is to find that one person, with whom you can let all your walls come down. Someone who makes you feel safe being you, and who apreciate you, for who you are.

YOU are what a man wants, and you are not a stereotype.


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What Guys Said 6

  • I've often wondered why some girls flirt a lot & attention seek, yet other girls don't. They seem happy with or without male attention.

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  • Wow!! Nice take I'd gladly share my views on this one!!
    First, you are correct about the pretention we use to attract..!
    Secondly, this CAN be corrected after the relationship has started, what is to be done is change slowly and when your guy asks, whts wrong you can boldly say, you're changing and change is a part of nature..! This way he wouldn't feel bad and put the blame on you..

    The way I do is extract my nature out of myself for every person in this world.. Now it's their nature to accept me or not.. Look here I'm not being egoist or so.. But I am frank and I expose myself to them and see the results.. Most of the girls accept..! A lot can be discussed right on this topic but this seems to be ok for now!!

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  • I feel like this happened to the girl I like. She said yes to a guy who asked her out and completely changed. Started rejecting me. Won't talk to me
    I'm scared
    I wanted her so bad but she didn't realize it until it was to late

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  • Good call. It's kinda like: the below. Point is just approach the person you're attracted to if that's what you want.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4HVT32G288

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  • why we should stop pretending is like why we should stop caring about useless things and give someone a fair go. 2 thumbs up

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    • Thank you so much! Im glad you liked it, it's something that has really helped me, so i felt it was important to share!

    • No worries. it's always good to share something you feel so strongly about :)

  • That was deep and honest, nice mytake.

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    • Thank you so much, nice to have an opinion that others value!

What Girls Said 4

  • I agree with this I have gotten "your not the girl I fell in love with" no I was this this whole time. He was the one to change but he won't admit it. I'm so sick and tired of when you get into a relationship and these changes happens but there negative changes. If a someone going to change make it a positive change not a negative one.

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  • Interesting read and Take!

    Please make more Takes. :)

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  • thanks for this mytake it makes me feel better about myself! because ur right, guys will like u the best when you're you because you are the best version of yourself!

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    • Or at least you're the version of yourself we can count on you to be, more or less.

  • Thanks for this MyTake

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