So this is part 4 in my mytake series about dating. And because I am bored and can't think of a fourth thing to write women about at the moment, time to address a group that probably won't care what I say: the players and MTGOW.
The simple truth? They are part of the problem with dating today, not part of the solution.
MTGOW... I get it. I really do. You got burnt, or your parent got burnt by the other, or something similar, and it hurt so bad you thought you might die. Most of us have been there, men and women. We all have needed a buddy to help stop us from bleeding out emotionally. The world might not have been ending, but it damn sure felt that way. I've had concussions, injuries that stopped me from walking, had things in my neck move where they were so not supposed to go... as real a pain as being dumped or betrayed by someone you truly cared for. Physical and overwhelming. Some of us got through it alone, some of us were lucky enough to have friends.
Or maybe you just took a family law class and were horrified at how our legal system treats men, or saw it happen. I was a legal studies major--I still remember hearing attornies laugh about the men screwed over. Valid reason to avoid legal marriage? For some of us, definitely.
Problem is... your absence, your withdrawal, won't fix anything. You are literally just making it easier for the people you oppose to gain more control from your absence. You have to have brass balls and decide you're going to take the world on, not run from it. And even though some people will predict your social shunning and humilation... you might be surprised. After all, how many idiot pundits have predicted this guy's downfall and shame?
He has been called a bozo, Hitler, a facist, a grave threat to the USA... and he's poised to gain the GOP presidential nomination in the biggest sweep in their political history. Even though he has voiced support for abortion and gun control and gay marriage, everything republicans seem to oppose--because he is now voicing support for them on several issues, and has guts to say literally anything, he is winning by a huge margin. Because people respect courage--they respect those who are willing to say, "This is damn awful... I'm going to change it!"
Imagine if he had been an MTGOW attitude and decided to just move to the Bahamas or something. the GOP would have to contend with Canadian Cruz and Senior Jeb Bush, and juding by the polls, no one really likes that idea.
Never forget that indecision is a decision, and inaction has a consequence all it's own. What you do, matters. You can change things. You can overcome obstacles and triumph--you don't have to forgo having a lover or a family.
Players... let's face it. No one can really blame you for taking what you can get and living in the moment. If you can do it well, why not, right? Be a badass and get what you want.
50 Shades of Grey, a poorly written BDSM smut novel based on a Twilight fanfiction (who knew fanfiction could be so profitable?) is officially about the best selling book of all time. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/9459779/50-Shades-of-Grey-is-best-selling-book-of-all-time.html A novel about a girl who falls for a damaged, abused, controlling, stalking, violent man who literally won't even look her in the eyes during sex, reducing her to a literal sex toy. "Objectification" at it's finest. And women utterly loved it. Oh, sure, porn is nothing new. We men watch porn all the time--in privacy. We don't go to movie theaters or rave about porn on facebook. Well, most of us. The ones that do are rightfully recognized as being rather messed up, slightly deranged, damaged goods.
Or Taylor Swift's latest song. Once a romantic girl, she now is singing to her hookup, "Just lie to me and say you'll see me again!"
Or another radio hit that was both beautiful and loathsome, "Are you gonna stay the night? Doesn't mean we're bound for life!"
And that doesn't even hit real life. It's amazing what happens when you want it to. Yes, you can literally bang a random girl within 30 minutes of meeting her if you do things right, and you know I'm not exaggerating. Then these same girls down the road will be making some poor sap take them on dates and she'll be saying "I'm not THAT sort of girl" with a righteous indignanty. Disgusting...
Problem is... your influence, your talent, is going for naught, when it is people like you that are uniquely talented in charisma, in boldness, and yes, darkness. But is that completely bad? Vlad the Impaler saved Europe from Turkish invasion by massacring thousands of enemy civilians and had a lovely habit of putting people on spikes... and in the doing, possibly saved Europe from being another Iran or Saudi Arabia today. A brutal, dark, and utterly heroic family man.
I am reminded of a book novel, "The Night Angel" trilogy. Near the end of the series, the assassin Kylar stands in the foul, corrupt city of his birth and wonders what might have been, what he might have been. He ponders the foul streets full of thieves and whores and orphans, that could have been full of families and clean businesses. He imagines the noble rulers that might have been, instead of the scheming, incestous, and incompetant queen that seized power. He thinks of his fellow assassins who could have been honorable soldiers or valiant leaders, and he mourns that he himself could have been a better man.
Instead of using your potential for good, those of us who become players are literally just torching buildings for the warmth, instead of planting trees and chopping firewood. The girls we seduce and bed go onto become unfit wives and later adulterers or divorces. The naive girls we charm with ease could have been loyal girlfriends and later loving wives to some man, instead of ranting on facebook and ending up miserable. Eve was well punished for her sin--but God didn't forget the snake's part, and cursed it as well. Almost all people have the possibility for corruption or to become low people--they bear responsibility for their choices, but so do we for leading people down ill paths.
In short, MTGOW and players--let's put the guts and talent and ability to good use. Instead of just standing back and griping, or fiddling while Rome burns, let's make something of ourselves and overcome what faces us.