Crushing it on Your First Date #GoldandSilverEdition

The First Date is actually the most critical of all because it sets the tone for the entire relationship moving forward from that. Of course, one can always recover and change perspective, but the obstacles that it presents often outweighs the pros of achieving a new perspective. Furthermore, first dates can often appear to go well simply because the person, who isn't feeling it, doesn't want to be rude and so chooses to be polite and this politeness is percieved by the other person as actual interest and the fac that the unintereted person can have fun despite not being into the date is mispercieved as a desire to do it again. For all these reasons and more, here is a key concept that needs to be understood if you want to consistently have great first dates that get the girl dying to have another date with you...

Crushing it on Your First Date #GoldandSilverEdition

A date is sadly a lot of times more like an interview than anything else with one person being the surveying and the other trying to impress. I have to fault guys more on this because if a guy doesn't try to impress the roles aren't usually switched, but instead both people become screeners/just having fun. A guy who can relax and just have a lot of fun and be amused by a date has already gotten ahead of 90% of guys out there.

It's not always obvious who's who. The girl can stare a lot at a guy who barely looks up from his phone. A guy can readjust himself in his seat for fear that he's slouching. Of course, some people are natural blabber mouths and some are naturally extra quiet so it's not an exact science but more of a subtle predictor...

Nothing like this will work. You cannot impress a person in any meaningful way except by revealing the truth of yourself. The irony is that whoever you are is going to come through no matter what you do to someone who has even a remote sense of emotional/social intelligence. If you're nerdy then you acting really jockey is going to come off a little try hard. If you're trying to pretend to be into art because you know the girl's last four boyfriends were poets, and you've never read a book longer than a hundred pages you're going to look foolish even if you did your homework. Fakeness like this can be smelt from miles off.

And don't ever try to act like something you don't like that she likes is suddenly very cool. Nodding and pretending to feign interest is actually a tactic that's used on people you don't like in order to be polite so ironically you're coming off a little insulting by not just saying I don't know i find that boring. Don't be rude but if it's not your thing just say that's not my thing, but let' find out what we both love! Or something like that...Same logic applies if she says she hates something and you're tempted to go oh yeah me too or if she says you aren't seriously into that are you? Always respond uh very much so...or whatever version of that is how you talk.

Never be upset if she stays or goes away from the date. If you're on a date and you end up going to a party afterward and she goes to dance with her friends just the girls then walk over to some of your friends or some guys just hanging out drinking and start joking around. The point is to have your own fun and not be waiting for her to be your fun.

And if you're by yourself it's harder but still possible. Notice trees, notice lights, notice your hand. You can literally be amused by anything if you focus on it with a desire to laugh. The point again is to have fun at all times. So, on a date, this would apply if she runs inside her friends house or something and you're just standing outside or if her friends are just really lame and you can't possibly have fun with them then you do these things so you don't experience that discomfort when she walks away from you but a nice breather since you can have fun anywhere anytime.

You should never feel like you can't have fun and you have to give up your concept of what's cool or funny up because she won't find it as entertaining. She will find you amused if you're amused by whatever you find funny or cool. I've been on a first date with a gorgeous girl who doesn't even know what a playstation is and i talked about bioshock infinite for almost an hour but i myself was so facinated and into it when i was explaining it to her she was super interested the entire time. Yet most guys will run through things they think girls are into and wonder why she gets bored (it's because he's bored of what he's talking about so he himself becomes boring to talk to.)

Now, go crush it on your First Date

#pavlove


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  • In short, you just wanna say the first impression is the best impression?

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  • Alright I can get behind this take.

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  • Did not read.

    The first pic is rape. The guy doesn't want a kiss.

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  • whats the meaning of the first photograph? the guy doesn't seem to enjoy it... .

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  • for guys like me who are introverted can you go more in depth on being yourself and find fun in the little things?

    i definitely dont try to come off impressive but i think my shy nature gets in the way. im trying to incorporate more excitement in dating cuz i think girls are just getting bored of me.

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    • of course, yeah. I think small talk can feel a little pointless and difficult if you're shy or introverted. I'd wager you're more passionate than most people and have a good number of developed interests. i would focus on the content of what you're talking about and how much you enjoy that rather than "trying to make conversation" or even trying to say whatever comes to mind. introverts tend to be very focused people so move that intense focus onto the things you're talking about rather than how it's being received

    • its obvious advice but sometimes you just need someone to spell it out for you. im soo mechanical with everything i do, and thats kind of how I've approached women. it needs to stop

    • exactly. obvious but not always easy to do. good luck man!

  • thanks for making this mytake. I'm going to ask a girl next week to be my valentine, so if she says yes I can at least prepare and read these handy tips again.

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  • Distracting yourself when you're nervous or stuck - that's a great point, man!!

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  • Yep, I've been guilty of pretending to like something I don't or am just flat out indifferent about just to start a conversation, not so much on a first date but if I messaged them on a dating site and couldn't think of anything else to talk about.

    It's like if they do respond, you may eventually keep talking until you find out you really have nothing in common and then it gets awkward and it stops.

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  • Platinum level advice

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  • TLDR: literally just be yourself

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    • lol i know it's that simple but it's not that straightforward for a guy who is using to trying everything he can to impress...

  • Great Take, I like the idea :)

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