Ten Things I Look For In A Woman

pervertedjester
Ten Things I Look For In A Woman


Now all guys are different so I can't say these apply to all of us but I might touch on a few we share. I also would like to point out this list was more or less made over the last twenty years. And we all know Women grow faster than Men so before you pass on a guy ask yourself, Is he on par for his age? That being said.... here we go:


Ten Things I Look For In A Woman

1. Brains



I've never dated a woman I've found as dumb or more dumb than me. I dislike being the smart one in a relationship. Fact is I like brainy Ladies! Sometimes I like to think they took pity on a poor caveman and tried to teach me things via a relationship but beating my head against the wall tends not to teach me anything. And a Caveman like me will default to acts of silliness or grunting should topics go over my head. Me Caveman Me Like Mart Girls!

Ten Things I Look For In A Woman



2. Humor



The more a woman can laugh at herself, while not believing it, earns a hundred points on my ten point scale! Not just in joking herself but in joking me and expecting the same in return. To be honest my humor can range silly to raunchy to borderline mean so if I smirk at the end it's a joke. But don't worry I will never joke you in public and I expect the same . "It's perfectly acceptable to insult someone in private. Sometimes they might even thank you for it afterwards, but when you do it in public, they tend to think you are serious."

Ten Things I Look For In A Woman


3. Smell



I talking about overall. Women have so many options with lotions, perfumes and shampoo nowadays it's hard to find a good combo that doesn't confuse my sense of smell. Personally I like a Strawberry/Vanilla/Sugar scent combo. I have perfect vision and I can smell just as well, so if the combo doesn't match my brain is to busy trying identifying the offending odor. I won't judge you for creating your own scent profile but I'm always willing to use whatever cologne and shampoo you think is best on your Man. Please give me the same courtesy after the first date.

Ten Things I Look For In A Woman


4. Toys



No, not those toys. Actual toys. The more toys a Woman has the more creative she is to me. With a healthy respect for her inner child. Items like coloring books, crayons, play-doh, legos, slinkies and whatnot gives me high hopes that we share the same passions. Bonus 50 Points for having Lincoln Logs!


5. A Movie IQ



Quotes from The Princess Bride, Spinal Tap, Indiana Jones, Spaceballs and Monty Python are a few ways Women can instantly bond with me. I enjoy a lot of movies and if it makes me laugh I remember it and it goes without saying I will repeat it. So liking it will help make me less annoying to you.

Ten Things I Look For In A Woman


6. Glasses



Mainly because I like a Woman's eyes and glasses highlights them well. Alternatively I think if Women can stab their eyeballs with thin silicone lenses they can just as easily stab me with a knife. It's hard to turn your back on that.


Ten Things I Look For In A Woman

7. Physical Appearance



Not the usual factors of course. I've dated A-D Cups and Big Butts to No Butts. Boobs and Butts aren't important to me. No, I'm talking about the Neck Line. Sounds different but I like room to nuzzle with my Woman. So if there's room enough for my fat head to get in there I'm a Happy Guy!


Ten Things I Look For In A Woman


8. Hair



I prefer something I can grab onto *wink wink* in the throws of passion or even being able to finger comb it back over her ear. It's extremely attractive when it teases the neck line as mentioned above. (Honestly I scared my fiancee when I saw this scene cause I yelled FUCK YEAH! that's how much I like doing the ear thing.)


Ten Things I Look For In A Woman


9. Trust



Is slowly grown. The things I tell someone about myself need to stay between us. No matter what happens this is an absolute rule. I'm a very private person! If I choose to trust you it's not something to take lightly. I have burned bridges with many so called friends for just one slip up. So if a Girlfriend breaks that rule, whom I trust above all others, that equates to a declaration of War. It's not pretty. Mainly because it takes so long for me to trust others and even being in love doesn't change that. I may dislike my Exes but I maintain their right to privacy to this day.


Ten Things I Look For In A Woman

10. Respect



This ties into number Nine but it deserves it's own mention. Where Trust is slowly grown Respect can take years. You can earn trust but respect is given. In my life I can count only Five people I respect and three are gone. But it's not just about me respecting a woman. I am not the last guy you dated. Whatever happened between you two is just that, between you two. You have to treat me like a new book. The story may have twists and turns but give me time, stick with me and give me the chance to gain your respect. So I can return the favor.











Ten Things I Look For In A Woman
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