How to Get a Date: Complete Guide with 3 Big Misconceptions

People see dating as "mysterious". I dislike that. So I'm going to settle some misconceptions here which will help guide you through the BS that socially awkward people tell you over the internet. 99% of this advice applies to both genders, but I'm going phrase this as a guide for guys who are interested in women.

Misconception #1: Women Date Assholes

This is easily the most cringe worthy dating advice I've ever heard. No, a woman isn't going to fall in love with you if you treat her like crap. She isn't going to swoon if you tell her she looks fat in that dress. In fact, treating someone like dirt will make them dislike you. However, there is a grain of truth if you add a disclaimer: "Women sometimes date good looking guys, even if they are sometimes assholes". That's because your looks matter, especially at a young age. Good looking guys and good looking women catch the interest of many people way before their personality is revealed. Generally speaking, people who are both ugly and mean never get laid. Believe it or not, being a fun, pleasant person is even a plus.

Misconception #2: Be "Mysterious"

Ugh... really? No. Don't do this. A woman isn't going to go crazy over you for being dishonest about your feelings. Sure, be funny, be mature, and sometimes be a little unexpected with your jokes, but don't be dishonest about your feelings. There's no point. Women like it when guys they're attracted to are attracted to her. Similarly, men like it when women they're attracted to are attracted to him. Being open and direct about your feelings is the best way to get a "Yes" or a "No" so that neither of you are confused about what the other person's intentions are. A good thing to do in the conversation a few minutes before you ask a woman out is to compliment her appearance a little.

"Wow, you're gorgeous!" or "You look amazing!" will both work. Yes, you should also like her for her intelligence, personality, etc. and maybe compliment her on those too, but telling a woman you think she's good looking helps her consider you as a potential date. It signals that you're physically attracted to her, and when you ask her out 5 minutes later it won't seem like it's coming out of the blue. Honesty is the beset policy. P.s., a good, standard way of asking a woman out is "You look amazing and I think you're super cool. Do you want to go out to see a movie with me some time?" If she says yes, get her number. If she says no, accept it, move on, and don't ask again. Ignoring the word "No" and asking "Aww, why??" is immature, and asking her out a second time is creepy.

Misconception #3: Love Is Random

Yes, a person's preferences are sometimes completely random. No, they usually aren't all that surprising. Here's some things which people usually prefer in a date:

1: Be intelligent. If you want to capture the interest of someone who's smart and mature, then you're going to have a considerably better time if you have a college education, interests in academic things, and possibly a well used library card. Smart people like to date smart people.

2: Be good looking. Have a handsome face, a fit body, a good hair cut, clean hygiene, and decent clothes. If you want to get a woman with all off those features, then it really helps to have good features yourself. If you're completely willing to go after women who aren't conventionally attractive (for example, overweight), then feel free to do whatever with your body. But usually, women who are attractive date only attractive guys, and hot guys go after hot women.

3: Have a personality. Feel free to be fun to be around and have a pleasant aura. Acquire a set of hobbies and interests. The secret here is: having interests makes you an interesting person to people who share those interests. Do you like dinosaurs? Cool! Date a woman who also thinks dinosaurs are the bee's knees. You'll have something to talk about.

4: Be successful. Guys with a decent income and a responsible life tend to get more dates. Guys who live in their basement at age 30 and live on welfare tend to not get much commitment thrown their way. People who have their lives in order tend to catch the eyes of other people who have their lives in order.

5: Try to have the characteristics of the person you want to date. There are special exceptions to this. For example, a guy probably shouldn't have big boobs if he wants to date a woman with big boobs, but you get the point. If you want to date a good looking person who's fun to be around and gets straight A's, then having those characteristics yourself with greatly increase your chances.

One experiment you might try is to write down all of the characteristics you're minimally willing to have in a date (usually they'll fall in one of the four categories above), and then to reciprocate those characteristics. You'll have much more success with dating.

Conclusion:

Well that took a little bit to write, but I hope it does something for someone. The above will take some practicing to get used to, but it will help you out a lot. I have one last bit of advice: Don't listen to advice which sounds bitter and doesn't follow logic. People who say "women only date assholes" tend to not know very much about dating. Side note, the people who inspired me to write this post are called "pickup artists". Don't ever follow the advice of a pickup artist or someone who identifies themselves as Redpill. Those people are often misogynistic poison. Here's a picture of the original show "The Pickup Artist" which demonstrates my point that pickup artists are just a bunch of socially awkward people trying to give dating advice to other socially awkward people.


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What Girls Said 5

  • Step one: get wine
    Step two: build fire
    Step three: get bitchez

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  • girls hate assholes

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  • Finally! Something with a structure and logical sense!

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  • Very good advices, excellent mytake :D

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  • Good take. Guys, don't forget to not only give her nonpersonal compliments like "you're so pretty/gorgeous", say "your eyes are beautiful/wow that dress fits you perfectly" or compliment her personality like you're so funny/interesting instead 😉

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    • Yeah, there are certainly some other things you could say other than the exact quotes I gave in my post, but I made sure that this could act as a complete starter kit for people who wanted to start dating. There are some Seriously socially awkward guys like Scrambledagain if you scroll to the guy's comments, so I made a list of extremely specific things that wouldn't hurt your chances. Your stuff is good too :-)

    • Your advice are great, I'm sure people will appreciate them, both guys and girls! 😊

    • nope, people are vain

What Guys Said 17

  • Where can I get me one of those HATS? Nice take bro!

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    • I don't know, but what I do know is that the instant the fine stitching made contact with my cranium, I would unleash an aura of Mystery so compelling that all women would just ditch their beta boyfriend and worship a true Alpha the likes of which they've never had the privilege to be with before. Then I would reject them all and go home to my mother's basement to watch some anime.

  • "Here's a picture of the original show "The Pickup Artist" which demonstrates my point that pickup artists are just a bunch of socially awkward people trying to give dating advice to other socially awkward people."

    Not all PUAs but definitely some.

    e. g. mystery - a complete fraud
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuceTz9gZRQ

    also, weird advice and terrible lines, routines, etc. from "the game":

    - "omg are those nails real?"
    - the "c vs u teeth routine" (do I need to go any further)
    - ESP test, because it's literally a 1 in 10 chance she will guess 7

    some routines that are kind of ok

    - 5 lies... but it's not even in the game
    - the cube... again, not in the game, and most people have heard of it anyway

    weird advice from other PUAs, e. g. Tyler Durden. watch pretty much any video of his on youtube and most of the "infield footage" is likely fake/staged whatever.

    ok, ok! SOME of RSD and Tyler Durden is good. SOME of it. but don't go out and buy the damn products, people!

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    • Honestly, if the stuff you pay them to teach you isn't all that good, then you probably shouldn't expect a whole lot from the freebies, either.

    • best advice I received was mark manson (models) and alan roger currie (mode one) but then those guys aren't really puas, or not what you would typically consider to be pua. you can download mode one for free. I say that some of RSD is ok because in some of their material they focus on direct attraction, but that's basically all they have going for them and you get all of this stuff from the other guys I mentioned. the only other reason one might turn to PUA is because there is a drastic shortage of anything verbal related. after all you have to talk to a girl to attract her - looks are important but they don't cover a deficiency of social skills or conversation prowess. problem is PUA provides a band aid solution at best (cheap tacky lines and mind game tricks) and makes the problem even worse (because people do not see your conversation as genuine or authentic). there's basically no existing remedy for guys with this problem except to develop a life for themselves.

  • I remember that "Player" show with that creepy looking dude in the last picture. Never could figure out what women saw in him.

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    • If it was a typical reality show, then I would assume that the ones who didn't reject him were paid very well.

  • Very informative stuff here dude. Cheers! 🍻

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  • Minimum characteristics: BE REAL please!

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  • I know my 19 digit library card number by heart. I think I'm good for intelligence lol.

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  • So your saying I'm ugly since I know all this stuff and more but girls still dont like me?

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  • U r really making difficult how about people who are not smart or good looking and some people naturally mysteriouse u r basically telling people to change to fit in in a role just to get a date I rather be single than acting something im not and if a girl only wants to date a guy if he change then she is not worth it I've been there I've done that and it wasn't a satisfying experince people need to be loved for who they are

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  • This take doesn't say anything about having a big dick and lots of money. Is it because those 2 things are so obvious?

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  • I liked this. At first I thought it was some "player" garbage regurgitated from that douche Mystery, but this is actually reasonable and practical advice. God that bottom picture makes me lol, what a pack of idiots.

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  • solid advice man

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  • Sir, you deserve a cookie

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  • 'Have a handsome face' - people can't change the face they're born with, unless they go for plastic surgery or something. So not everyone can simply 'have' a handsome face.

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    • I don't know if that's what he was getting at. Most men can improve their appearance significantly with some TLC. Most women don't find full beards attractive on most men for instance, although some can pull them off. A well done haircut and some face lotion can go a long way. Possibly a soft tan.

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    • "Lead vocalist of a local rock/ metal band". Oh, I didn't know you were already a chick magnet. My bad. Carry on doing whatever you were doing my good sir xD

    • Haha, that was in the past man! And I was never really a 'chick magnet', due to my social anxiety and stuff! :P

  • 😂 mystery would get every women you think you could get. Have respect for the Pua's. Your advice = friend zone. You won't get any girl without game.

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    • Well at least see my "Rate my looks out of ten" question before you say I have no experience with women.

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    • @Nothanks700 just checking, if OP is a coward and blocked me, I may not be able to reply. Again, you are wrong. Let me give you 2 examples. My other passion is music. I'm a lead guitarist. I was a manager in a blue chip company and got paid 5 digit bonuses. I have two degrees, 3 diplomas. I also do gym religiously (pls see profile). My ex bassist in my last band has no job, lives with his parents, has a beer belly and does drugs. He hands down slams me with women. My other friend is a bit better looking, but less things than I have and is a master player. Guy has over 100 woman. Not me. Then here is the best one. My other friend is very powerful and was voted in the top 6 entrepreneurs in Africa. He has only had one woman! Him and I chat about this. A lot. Surprise surprise, he is getting some Pua to help him because we know that without game you can't attract women. End of story.

  • "Date a woman who also thinks dinosaurs are the bee's knees."

    The bee's knees? Are we in the 1920s?

    ;)

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  • I disagree with the compliment thing. Most guys lack creativity. How many times has a 20-something girl been told that she's pretty, or she's beautiful? Throwing compliments left and right, especially if they're generic, makes it seem like you're trying too hard and you're desperate to get her to like you. You should be more specific in your compliments, and avoid giving out too many.

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    • It's not necessarily what you say, but how you say it. If the woman of your dreams walked up to you and said "Hey cutie", then you would probably be ecstatic because a woman you are interested in thinks you're attractive. The same situation applies here. Having a monotone face and saying "You're cute" 5 times will not get you any positive results. Limit your compliments to just once or twice so they're more sincere. Your goal is simply to let her know you're attracted.

      In addition, being "specific" is a minefield. Your goal is to imply you're physically interested in her with a compliment, so saying "Cool glasses" won't work because literally anyone could say that to her. On the other hand, complimenting anything below the neck is a no-no. "Nice tits" and "I like your hips" are both very high risk and will either be creepy or said to someone who is already mentally making out with you in her head (if you're her boyfriend, feel free to say stuff like that of course).

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    • With things like "cutie" it's still more of how you say it. I guess I messed up in implying that someone should start out the conversation with that, but during the conversation where you're about to ask them out it could potentially be worked in somewhere.

      And remember, this is dating advice. There are some seriously socially awkward people put there. That's why I was so specific with a lot of this. It's a good starter kit at least. You'll get the hang of it after you talk to more and more people (BTW, people who are friendly and good at making friends are also generally better at flirting with girls because they know how to not be socially awkward).

    • True enough

  • ... or you could skip all this bullshit and just get a puppy.

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